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Gentle Healing Lesson 134, Manual for Teachers, Text.  4-30-19

LESSON 134
Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.

“This twisted view of what forgiveness means is easily corrected, when you can accept the fact that pardon is not asked for what is true. It must be limited to what is false. It is irrelevant to everything except illusions.”

“Would I accuse myself of doing this”?

Jesus is helping us to understand that we have never really forgiven anyone until we recognize that we only forgive illusions. When I forgave my ex-husband, I did not forgive him for what he did, but for what he did not do. All of this story of him and me and our children was an illusion. It never happened. Forgiving him may have been the best thing I ever did for myself because it lifted a heavy darkness from my mind.

This is what Jesus meant when he asked if we would accuse ourselves of doing this. When we accuse another, we chain ourselves to the world, so, no. I will not do that to myself again. And what did I do in my accusations of that man? I made the illusions seem real to me and could not let them go without letting him off the hook. And so I remained imprisoned in the idea of sin right along with my prisoner.

I never think of sin now as something the other did. I think of it as just another illusion to forgive. I think of it as forgiving my projections onto that one. I think of it as undoing the illusion, and as undoing the ego. It can be kind of tricky, though. The obvious accusations are easy for me to dismiss, but there are more subtle ones that I recognize only in that I seem to have lost my peace.

For example, my son was supposed to come home for a visit. Instead, he chose to do something else. I noticed a disturbance in the force, ha ha. I suddenly didn’t feel happy so I looked at that. I had to admit that with company having just left and things I wanted to do, I was actually quite content to be at home alone. But I still felt abandoned by him even if it didn’t make sense. I said all the right things to him and was careful not to make him guilty. But in my mind, I was definitely all into the illusion of good and evil. ~smile~

But I don’t tolerate lack of peace very well anymore, so I used him for this exercise.

I did only what is asked of us. I began it with, “Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.” This is a lot different than asking to forgive him for his sins. It actually lifts the meditation out of the personal. It helps me to realize that it is not really about him or about me; it is about forgiveness and the form it is taking for me right now is irrelevant other than to show me that I still believe in sin and so this exercise is needed.

Then, I cataloged his “sins.” I knew I did not want to condemn myself to my sins, and so I wanted to forgive his, or rather the idea he had sinned. I was given the realization that my demands on him were selfish as Regina had talked about recently, so I went back to that reading and used her example as a template for my process.

I remember there are only two alternatives, and in every choice I make I choose either ego or heaven. I accept that as true. I also accept there is no compromise, no ‘in-between’ option.

Am I taking his freedom to follow his own will from him?

If I got my way, would I feel guilty? Yes. I would.

Looking at it that way helped me to see the selfishness of my desires.

And as Regina said about her decision and is the same way I now feel:

What if I do nothing? What if I simply let this unfold without grievance and let everything be? Will that last forever? Yes! I see how simply letting everything unfold and be as it is, is a non-ending state of being. If I make this choice, am I taking something from someone else? No, not at all ever. Will I feel guilty for this choice? No, it seems that I would only feel curious. And if I am completely genuine in letting everything unfold without putting my desires upon it, I would be happy.

Then I continued my meditation until it felt complete, allowing my mind to be healed in whatever way the Holy Spirit would do this miracle.

Regina’s Tips
“Because you think your sins are real, you look on pardon as deception.” – I would word that this way: Because you think your thoughts are true, you think letting go of them is foolish.

It doesn’t matter if the chatter that plagues you now is fear about the future, a grievance against another person, a judgment against yourself or something else. The reason it is not let go and forgotten is because you think it is true. You think your mind is right.

Why do you think your mind is right? When there are so many people on the planet who would have a different perspective than you, what makes you so sure that your mind is right?

As one’s mind rises up to comprehend truth, one is happy. When one’s thinking is in harmony with truth, one is happy. If one is not happy, the current thinking IS NOT TRUE. You really do not need any other measure. If you are happy and at peace, fine; let your thoughts be. But if you are not, trust that your thoughts are wrong, and let them go. That is forgiveness.

My Thoughts
Regina has a lot of helpful information in this tip. (https://awakening-together.org/tips-from-regina-lesson-134-let-me-perceive-forgiveness-as-it-is/). But this is the tip I found most helpful. If what I think does not make me happy, my current thinking is not true. So I am going to stop dwelling on it and give my attention to what is true. Letting the untrue thoughts go is forgiveness. Regina doesn’t talk about the mind being healed during meditation or about the Holy Spirit doing this. But I have proven to myself that this works so I am sticking with it. It feels so right to me.

She also says another thing that I find helpful.

…to know about forgiveness, but not to practice it, is not wisdom. Wisdom is practicing it. In fact, wisdom is practicing it, not occasionally, but with every opportunity that is given. Each time you notice your mind dwells with a line of thinking that is not creating joy in you, be honest with yourself. The current thinking is not truth. And for that reason, let it go

I do this. I do it as soon as I realize what is happening. If I do it right away, forgiveness is simple and easy. If I hold onto the thoughts longer, then forgiveness is simple but not as easy. But regardless, I do it.

Manual for Teachers
“Thus does the son of man become the Son of God.”

How does this miracle occur? It is a change of mind. My experience has been a change that occurs slowly over time. I used to be afraid of everything and I had very low self-worth. I was self-centered and selfish. All of these traits were the result of thinking mostly with my ego mind and believing everything I thought. After I began to study the Course, I began to change outwardly, but only because I changed inwardly.

It has been a radical change, though not a complete change as of yet. It is a daily practice. I know I am not my ego even though I still get pulled into a drama now and again. I know that I am as God created me even when I have moments of self-doubt. I am learning the value and the joy of surrender and that surrender deepens daily. I step back and let Him lead the way far more often than not. I reflect the Love of God, and one day, I will reflect nothing but the Love of God.

Text
God’s Will is my will.
We share the same will, God and I. This separate ego will is a toy I have played with, not what I am. I am one with God and so I am one with His Will. That is the only will I have, and as I let go of the belief I am being asked to sacrifice my own will for God’s, I become more eager for the truth.

I have become less protective of the ego will, and more willing to accept my own true will. Now the idea of my will being overcome by God’s Will no longer frightens me because I realize that is not what is happening. I am, instead, simply returning to my own will, which is the same thing as returning to God’s Will. I’m still allowing this to be untangled in my mind, but it will go faster now that I am no longer afraid of it.
Love,

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