Finding Our Way Back to Love

Is Healing Possible Even After a Long Illness

Is Healing Possible Even after a Long Illness?
    Whenever someone is sick for a very long time it can feel almost hopeless that healing can ever occur.  We ask ourselves can we possibly heal.  I think sometimes we think healing is always automatic.  Like suddenly our illness is gone by the Grace of God.  Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that kind of healing can occur, but it doesn’t always happen that way.
    We often forget who we are.  We are the son of God, and He created us perfect.  It doesn’t matter how long we have perceived ourselves as ill because there is no order of miracles.  What it does take is remembering that we are Love, as it says in the WB p. 113 the title “Love created me like itself” and WB p. 113 2. 6 Perfection created me perfect.  As we remember we are only Love, we are able to heal the Son-ship.  Too often when we come into this worldly existence as we grow up we begin to develop thoughts about ourselves through our environment.  If we grow up being told we are not perfect we develop behaviors that support that idea.  We begin to forget our true nature and slowly we lose who we came into this life to be.  This is the ideal dream for the ego.
The ego uses time to convince you that the goal is death, WB p. 301. 7. But Holy Spirit uses time to teach truth, to heal the Son-ship. There are many uses for time to help heal the body, but first of all we learn that the true healing is mind healing.  It is our thoughts that make us feel separate from God. We must pay attention to our thoughts and Love God and ourselves and our brothers.  In reality we know that God never changes and His Love for us is constant.
When someone is sick we can help them change their thoughts with the help of the Holy Spirit. We can offer kindness and Love and see them as God sees them, Perfect. There are also things we can do with our bodies in time to help ourselves and each other. Such as getting a massage to help relax.  We can talk and offer thoughts of forgiveness whenever appropriate. The use of medication is also alright we should pray for guidance from Holy Spirit because our bodies may need different things such as some people believe in vegetarianism while others believe in eating Paleo or Keto.  Some people like holistic medicine while others prefer allopathic treatments.  There are herbal treatments and Bach flower remedies.  All of these ideas come from a place of caring for each other.  So no matter how long we are sick there is always miracles.
I have felt the Love of God whenever I felt ill, I felt embraced by Spirit, and at times I have felt a sudden peace flow over me and I knew right away that I was being caressed by the Spirit of our Father.  I am so thankful for that Love and the knowledge that no matter how many times I forget, I can always come back to Love and for this I am forever grateful.
Rev. Peggy Rivera,  Palm Bay, Florida
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Wounds From Our Past, Do we need to address them in order to heal

Wounds from our Past
Do we need to address them?
In order to heal our Soul
So many times I have heard people say that we do not need to remember the past, we have to remember we created it. So I often feel a sense of; now what? It always feels to me that if I were to truly be healed, than I wouldn’t need anyone to remind that these are only projections of the ego and therefore not real.  I have heard many course people say, don’t worry it’s just an illusion, problems are only illusions created by the ego.  So that’s why I start feeling like I should just be able to give it up to Holy Spirit and say it isn’t real.
But the problem is, that didn’t always work for me.  Sometimes I feel stuck and no matter how much I pray I still can’t seem to let it go.
But the beauty, is we do have guidance from the Holy Spirit and A Course in Miracles.  And we have our brothers and sisters on the same path put in our life to help us learn the life lessons and how to forgive so we can move on. And the first goal of the psychologist is to help us see clearly so we can forgive.  Forgiveness is what heals all wounds.
So right in the first paragraph of, “The Purpose of Psychotherapy” it tells us, “Very simply, the purpose of psychotherapy is to remove the blocks to truth.  Its aim is to aid the patient in abandoning his fixed delusional system, and to begin to reconsider the spurious cause and effect relationships on which it rests. No one escapes fear, but everyone can reconsider its causes and learn to evaluate them correctly……so God has given us a more powerful therapist than any on earth (Holy Spirit), but there are times when we need that client / therapist relationship.
Part of the gift is bestowed on both therapist and patient.  But let me change one of the words used in the course, patient, as a massage therapist I was taught to address people as clients.  Patient makes someone sick, I don’t want to give anyone the impression that they are sick.
In lesson 333, page 469 of the WB, it say’s “Conflict must be resolved. It cannot be evaded, set aside, denied, disguised, seen somewhere else, called by another name, or hidden by deceit of any kind, if it would be escaped.  It must be seen exactly as it is, where it is thought to be, in the reality which has been given it, and with the purpose that the mind accorded it.  For only then are its defenses lifted, and the truth can shine upon it as it disappears.”
Father, forgiveness is the light You chose to shine away all conflict and all doubt, and light the way for our return to You. No light but this can end our evil dream.  No light but this can save the world.  For this alone will never fail in anything, being Your gift to Your beloved Son”.
For anyone who needs help no matter what form of distress is considered to be under self-attack.
In my earlier experiences with the Course work, I really could not understand that concept.  I felt like others are attacking me, how can I be attacking myself.  I have learned when we feel that there is a need to fight back that is defensiveness.  “In my defenselessness I am innocent”. Right?  The attack we seek is because we forget who we are then we feel attacked by others. We forget that we are loving eternal beings and from the very beginning of this earthly life we have been trying to prove that we are God. So we attack each other because we are really frightened and we feel we will be punished.
So in a day in the life of Peggy, I might feel like a friend of mine was talking about me behind my back and I feel depressed over it.  I try to get over it but every time I think I have made some head way, something comes up and I feel the sting all over again.  So in my mind I have created unhappiness.  But somehow I got blocked from understanding why I am so distressed over it.  When I call my ACIM counselor she helps me see how the other may feel and she does some meditation with me and we may discuss times in my life when I felt this same feelings and she helps me shine light on the situation.  Because by not being able to see beyond my pain I am in prison.  A good therapist is there to help us get to see clearly and so then we can begin the forgiveness process.
The course talks about helping each other from where ever we are in our processes.
In my practice as a massage therapist I often used a modality of muscle testing called “Touch for Health”. It is a system of muscle testing techniques that show you what muscles are not functioning and causing imbalances and resulting in physical pain.  But in that I learned that for the weak muscle to hold I needed to test to find the emotions that were locked in. After discovering the emotion I would test to find a little more information that would help the client find where they needed to let go.  And that is exactly how I feel in the course work.  We can talk about issues to gain clarity enough to realize that all our pain comes from fear and forgetting how loved we really are.
I would like to invite each of you to talk about whether or not you think discussing things helps or hinders.  In my muscle testing, we didn’t always need to talk about it just learning where we are stuck was sometimes enough.  For me I feel blessed to have had people in my life that were able to remind me how fear based we all are on the planet. And when I was able to recognize that it was much easier to forgive them and myself.
What techniques have worked for you?
Do you feel free from judgment?
Do you feel like Holy Spirit is sufficient for you?  Because sometimes that seems to be all I need but other times I need help from someone else. As I said before, a spiritual counselor helps me see the truth from a new perspective, FOR ME that is very helpful.
I read a monologue that I wrote a couple of years ago and this time reading it from my newer awareness I saw where I began to lose my own autonomy, where I started to try to please others for my own survival.  So I think that at different times we need different ways to help ourselves or others.  In that case I had kept track of how I was thinking and looking back gave me some answers but from this awareness I knew forgiveness is the way to heal that. So I no longer felt like a victim trapped in the prison of wrong thinking.

And I remember one time when I was talking about some of my hidden traumas as I was able to release them I would feel a very physical sensation of pressure release from my head, I used to get migraine’s at that time and after releasing pressure I no longer got them; so I feel like that was very healing for me.

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Relationships, Healing and Ourselves

How many times have you sat with someone you care about who was sick or even dying?  Have you had the experience of being a long term caretaker?  Did you take the time to assess your feelings of what was going on?

So often we have the task before us to try to comfort the sick and sometimes we feel we should be able to heal them. And if we cannot help them we may decide to hate ourselves for it.
Or the situation can be that you are so busy taking care of the other person that you forgot to take care of yourself.  That is very common with couples in the fall of their lives.  The one who takes care of the one who gets sick often ends up sick themselves.  I remember when my parents were in that time of their lives both of them were sick and trying to take care of each other and not able to really succeed so I told them they needed to move in with me so I could take care of them.  I was still working full time and I was a very busy massage therapist doing house calls.  I would leave the house in the morning and come home in between clients to check on them. Often there would be doctor appointments we would have to schedule in between as well.  You can imagine how that was going.  They were not happy living in my house they resented me because they wanted to be in their own home, and all the creations surrounding those thoughts (their own fears regarding the time of life they were in and the uncertainty of the future, afraid of leaving each other and missing their home), coupled with my own creations of resentment, I was more and more exhausted, I wasn’t ready for the role reversal that was taking place and by the way, neither were they. Before you know it there was a big argument which led to their departure from my home.  And I was devastated.  I was just trying to be helpful.  I could not believe how ungrateful they were. By the way, this is before I began studying the course.  I wish I knew then what I know now.

What happens when we let the ego take over? The course says, “The closer you come to the foundation of the ego’s thought system, the darker and more obscure becomes the way.  ….. But then it also says “But even the little spark in your mind is enough to lighten it.  Bring this light fearlessly with you, and bravely hold it up to the foundation of the ego’s thought system. ……Bring the terror out into the light, there you will see that it rested on nothingness, therefore your fears are based on nothing. I mean from the perspective I now have it is so clear how I could have done things differently.

I wish that I realized at that time how fearful we all were. People hurt each other when they are hurting.  These are the creations of the ego.

We are wired to be connected to each other.  We are not supposed to be alone.  One of our basic needs is to be accepted by our parents and then to be loved.  Then we need to be authentic.  But because of our ego creations of guilt and self-loathing we create illness. That is how illness is an attack on what God has made.  When we perceive healing we have to see that as healing for ourselves just as much as for the other. 

How can we help others when we are attacking ourselves?

I watched a video by a doctor named Dr. Gabor Mate’ called “When the Body Says No”, and he talked about how as babies we cannot survive without an adult caretaker like our parents.  Without them we would die.  And he discussed how we need them to accept us and love us and how we adjust our thoughts so they will accept us.  He said that our body has the ability to feel what our caretakers feel, we can tell if they are afraid or mad or whatever they are feeling from our gut feelings.  He asked about a couple of things that could cause a reaction like was anyone in the room ever sexually molested, and then he said how many people told anyone, none of them did.  He said, “why not?”  They all said they were afraid their parents would be disappointed in them. And he said that is the beginning of a path to illness. And then at that moment, we begin to lose our authenticity, and that is one of the basic human needs.  Guilt sets in and the ego attacks. That is when you begin to forget who you are.

I remember a woman who helped me so much because she reminded me who I am.  She listened to my story with Love and compassion, I felt heard and accepted and I started my healing journey. 
I realized that we can really be of service through Love, compassion and listening, non-judgmentally and gently and lovingly reminding each other who we really are.  The relationship we have with others must be the same as the relationship we have with ourselves.  We have to remember that all pain or illness or belief in separation and fear is really a call for Love.  Think of how sweet it feels to hold a little puppy or kitten.  How soft their fur is how soothing it is to touch and connect with an innocent little animal.  If we learn to identify with that feeling and extend that, think of how pleasing to the soul that would be. We could soothe so much pain, and I realize it isn’t always that easy.  We are experts at complicating our earth existence.

But if we learn to really hear each other’s call for Love, and call upon the Holy Spirit to help us understand the dynamics of what we need to take away from this we will be that much closer to finding our heaven here on earth.
God wants us to be happy and to know how much he loves us.  We have a body that we can use to comfort each other, and to create beauty on the earth through art, and music and gardens and great food and companionship’s.  We are partners on this journey, helping each other remember who we really are. We are spirit having a human experience

Peggy Rivera OMC

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Holy Spirit Who Are You

The Holy Spirit is something that has always fascinated me.  Who is the Holy Spirit, What is the Holy Spirit and how does the Holy Spirit relate to me.  This is one of those topics that always gets me thinking.
On the one hand I have read that the Holy Spirit is the entity that reminds us of God’s Love for us, the bridge of communication between God and His separated Sons, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit we find answers to life’s questions.  We learn to see differently and forgive more easily. We learn to follow His lead in all situations.  All we have to do is ask for guidance and be willing to hear his call.  I have read that he is part of the Holy trinity of the God Head as in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  But I have also learned another truth about Him. His function has dual in purpose. We receive comfort from Him and we learn to see past illusions. But I have also realized that the Holy Spirit is the part of us who never forgot who we are. In the Clarification of Terms of ACIM on pg. 89 it say’s “The Holy Spirit abides in the part of your mind that is part of the Christ Mind.  He represents your Self and your Creator, Who are One.  He speaks for God and he speaks for you; being joined by both….. He seems to be a Voice, for in that form He speaks God’s Word to you……It is from these He would deliver you. It is from these that He would make you safe.”
  So the way I see it is the Holy Spirit is joined with you and joined with God.  He represents the un-separated self that is part of the Whole.  So really in the truest sense the Holy Spirit is the part of you that is still part of God.  The part of you that never left God, in other words in reality when you remember you are so much more than the ego and body, your real self is completely at One with the Whole.  And God in all of His Glory and Love for us sent that higher reality to keep reminding us who we are.  Sometimes we are led to people, places or things that will help us heal our thoughts, our hurts and our ego wounds.  I feel that for sure that is the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and that we are led and all we need to do is be willing to heed the call. This is very comforting to me.  I think of all the times I called upon the Holy Spirit to help me see differently, I think of how I felt the gentleness of the words I heard and the peace that always comes over me and I feel so grateful to God for sending a comforter to us. But it is even more wonderful to learn that, that is already how we are in our true home. We are all complete when we awaken. Our job here is to awaken to that reality here on earth.  We can bring Heaven down to Earth.
    I experienced this recently when I was searching for a hypnotist.  I wanted to use hypnosis for weight loss.  But when I sat and talked with the hypnotist I recognized she was sent to me by the Holy Spirit.  The words I needed so desperately to hear came through her.  Through her counsel I have gotten over my addictive tendencies toward food and I have learned to trust the Creative forces at work in my life to show me how to heal.  In my prayers I have had people show up in my life to support me in my healing.  I don’t know what I would have done if I had not been led to this ambassador for my peace because I feel stronger than I ever have and I need this strength because my son was diagnosed with cancer late last year.  I have relied on this inner strength that I receive from the Holy Spirit to keep reminding me that God is still here beside me and my son, we are Love, peace and beauty.  Anytime I get afraid of the outcome I call on the Holy Spirit to guide me through this maze.  I am always reassured things will be OK, it will not be a cake walk but in the long run everything will be OK.
    Thank you Holy Spirit for your loving guidance and thank you God for Loving us enough to send us this comforter.
Peggy Rivera OMC

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The tumbleweed blows around in the desert after it dies it dries up and forms a big ball that rolls around on the barren dust at the winds command.  It goes wherever the wind takes it, and as it tumbles around it drops little seeds in its path. Aimlessly it tumbles to and fro without any direction of its own.
How I can relate to that feeling as a tumbleweed.  Growing up I often felt dry, un-nurtured, and without direction.  The wind reminds me of how I felt that I had no direction of my own. I would often give my power away trying to please others. I didn’t trust myself and I definitely didn’t know how to love myself or care for myself.  I knew how to give but I didn’t know how to receive. 
I think I felt like someone else would come along someday and make me feel whole.  I thought my husband could save me from my lack of self-esteem, he could make me feel special and loved.  And when that didn’t work out I felt even more unlovable.  I was unacceptable as a human being.  Everyone in my life had proved that to me.  When I married again I thought, I just had a bad first experience, this time I will feel better about myself.  But no matter how much he showed me he loved me, I couldn’t believe him.  I didn’t trust him, people have already shown me what to expect from them and I was not about to let myself be vulnerable again.
Through many tears and heartaches I learned that I wasn’t an island. If I didn’t learn to trust I would not find life worth living.  Depression was hanging over me like a veil, I felt weighed down and so alone in my pain.  Until one day I heard a voice say to me, “Peggy, I love you”.
It didn’t take long until I realized that the voice I heard was Holy Spirit calling to me.  Letting me know that I was loved.  I found a book called A Course in Miracles, and as I read my world began to change.  I learned that I am Love.  No matter what the external world appears to say, none of that is true.  I have learned that when I feel anything but Love I am experiencing the fears of the ego.
Recently I was feeling left out in a situation.  I again experienced that feeling of rejection and self-loathing.  I cried out to Holy Spirit to help me with what I was feeling. Sometimes I get messages from Holy Spirit as if I were talking to someone I can’t see, but other times I get the message I need in other ways.  This time I received what I needed from a book.  Anita Moorjani, wrote a book called, Dying to Be Me. She had lymphoma and when she went in to a coma she found herself in a state of awareness where only love exists.  She healed from her cancer and she gives talks about what caused her to develop cancer in the first place.
She also was a people pleaser.  She spent her life trying to be something she wasn’t and she became hopeless.  She said unresolved emotions can eventually lead to illness and the path to healing is learning to replace all that fear with love.  Fear causes a big whole in you that needs to be filled and you have to fill it with Love.
I realized that no matter what my external circumstances were, I will always be Love.  Sometimes the world we see with our human eyes feels so real that it is so easy to forget that this is only make believe.  Anita said if we could see how magnificent we really are we would be blown away.  In this life we are to let our true light really shine.  To Love everyone and everything, even the earth is alive.  When we accept false beliefs about ourselves it dims our light and we begin to hide who we are. We have to find a way every day to remind ourselves what is really true.  Never let the world diminish our true light.
In A Course in Miracles, Text Pg.19, 1.10,11 it says, “This peace is totally incapable of being shaken by errors of any kind. It denies the ability on anything not of God to affect you”.
Thank you
Rev. Peggy Rivera
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Reminding Myself Who I Am

When I opened the Lesson for today I was so grateful that what I read was really what I needed to hear today.  In ACIM Workbook for students, Lesson 56, pg. 92.  “My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.”  I had been feeling a little down because of some family misperceptions.  I say misperceptions because I know from the course that whenever I am unhappy about something I know it isn’t real, it is my perceptions from an unhealed mind.  If I get into the drama of picking apart all of the feelings of injustice that I feel I can get lost in a dark and lonely dream.  I have to remind myself who I really am and who we all are, and how we all get sucked in to the rolls that we play here on the earth plane.  When I remind myself that the truth is we make up these rolls as we go along, but the truth of who we are as eternal Love is never changing.  I can see there really isn’t anything to be upset about.
I realize that I have to go to Holy Spirit continually to help me see things differently, I need to let go of the image that I have created of myself so I can easily see the truth.  As I let go of the image that I see in the world I make room for seeing the reality of God and His Love for all of us, I see He doesn’t see the darkness I get wrapped up in because darkness does not exist in the light.  In God’s Light there is only Love, Joy, Peace, Beauty, Creativity, etc.  And He wants all of this for us.  He gives all of this to us.  When we get lost in the drama of the world, we don’t recognize it.  What a shame it is to miss out on all of these gifts.  I ask for my eyes to be opened to see only Love.  I ask to be released from my fears and insecurity.  I know that every time I begin to let myself fall back into the thoughts of the ego I will be judgmental of others and myself, it feels like being depressed and full of darkness.  I Love when I call on the help of Holy Spirit, my Higher Self I am quickly and pleasantly reminded to see the beauty in everyone, everything and know that I get to choose how to live.  In peace and Love or in dark depression, I think that’s a no-brainer.

Reverend Peggy Rivera,
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Gratitude for my Friend

    I love this time of year, the weather has cooled off a little bit even though I live in Florida we still get a break from the extremely warm temperatures of July through September.  And at Thanksgiving time I am always reminded to pay attention to the things I am so grateful for.  Even though sometimes we lose the very things and people we love.  This is the time of year that we reflect over the past year and acknowledge all that we have learned.  Some people really struggle during the holidays because it is a reminder of the people that are no longer with them.  This year we lost a wonderful and lovely friend, she was my teacher for the Pathways of Light 900 courses, Linda Wisnieski.  I loved her dearly and I will miss her tremendously and I know everyone who knew her feels like I do. Her light could brighten a room.  It is no wonder that she left us during this time of thanksgiving.  Because she is such a light that anyone who shared time with her would find themselves inspired by her, and grateful for the opportunity to know her.  I am so thankful she came into my life.  She was a wonderful teacher, she was so loving and kind.  She never failed to let you know she was happy to even hear your voice. 
    Linda really taught me about loving unconditionally.  She often laughed and said “no guilt, I’m innocent”.  She really brought home what it means to be non-judgmental.  She reminded me that God doesn’t judge, we do.  But that is also why we are here, learning to accept everyone as they are because we are all one. Sometimes I think I have gotten past something that I held a grievance over and I will feel really good about myself, thinking I have really come far.  Then something will trigger an old feeling and suddenly I think “whoa” what happened there?  I have learned that often times there are layers to my feelings.  And I realize that when I have been triggered it is another opportunity to heal at an even deeper level.  Our emotions are like diamonds, they have many facets and for the diamond to really sparkle you have to clean all the facets.  This doesn’t mean you have to dwell on old feelings and keep them alive, it just means you can acknowledge them so you can understand and heal.  Living with buried feelings really does keep you imprisoned but looking at them and shining them off sets you free.  Because if you don’t look at them, the tendency is to bury them and keep acting out from that place.  If you don’t want to live in the past then you have to set it free.  We do that by looking at how the emotions have created patterns that keep repeating themselves through-out your life.  Then we ask Holy Spirit to show us how to see differently.  This is how we really heal, we see what needed to be learned in this earthly sojourn.  And every time we allow ourselves to really look at what lies beneath the surface we gain clarity and the ability to love deeper than we did before.  We realize there is really no need to forgive anyone because what we have experienced is an illusion that we created that actually brought to a deeper healing.
    With all this said, I feel so happy to have had the people in my life that have been my teachers, some taught me my lessons through very painful relationships and experiences and others like my beloved Linda taught me through more love more understanding and more kindness.  And even though I will miss her physical presence I know she is one of the guiding stars that will forever be near guiding me and all of us who need her.  Thank you Linda for being my teacher, and thank you God for bringing us together.

Peggy Rivera O.M.C.

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