Finding Our Way Back to Love

Relationships, Healing and Ourselves

How many times have you sat with someone you care about who was sick or even dying?  Have you had the experience of being a long term caretaker?  Did you take the time to assess your feelings of what was going on?

So often we have the task before us to try to comfort the sick and sometimes we feel we should be able to heal them. And if we cannot help them we may decide to hate ourselves for it.
Or the situation can be that you are so busy taking care of the other person that you forgot to take care of yourself.  That is very common with couples in the fall of their lives.  The one who takes care of the one who gets sick often ends up sick themselves.  I remember when my parents were in that time of their lives both of them were sick and trying to take care of each other and not able to really succeed so I told them they needed to move in with me so I could take care of them.  I was still working full time and I was a very busy massage therapist doing house calls.  I would leave the house in the morning and come home in between clients to check on them. Often there would be doctor appointments we would have to schedule in between as well.  You can imagine how that was going.  They were not happy living in my house they resented me because they wanted to be in their own home, and all the creations surrounding those thoughts (their own fears regarding the time of life they were in and the uncertainty of the future, afraid of leaving each other and missing their home), coupled with my own creations of resentment, I was more and more exhausted, I wasn’t ready for the role reversal that was taking place and by the way, neither were they. Before you know it there was a big argument which led to their departure from my home.  And I was devastated.  I was just trying to be helpful.  I could not believe how ungrateful they were. By the way, this is before I began studying the course.  I wish I knew then what I know now.

What happens when we let the ego take over? The course says, “The closer you come to the foundation of the ego’s thought system, the darker and more obscure becomes the way.  ….. But then it also says “But even the little spark in your mind is enough to lighten it.  Bring this light fearlessly with you, and bravely hold it up to the foundation of the ego’s thought system. ……Bring the terror out into the light, there you will see that it rested on nothingness, therefore your fears are based on nothing. I mean from the perspective I now have it is so clear how I could have done things differently.

I wish that I realized at that time how fearful we all were. People hurt each other when they are hurting.  These are the creations of the ego.

We are wired to be connected to each other.  We are not supposed to be alone.  One of our basic needs is to be accepted by our parents and then to be loved.  Then we need to be authentic.  But because of our ego creations of guilt and self-loathing we create illness. That is how illness is an attack on what God has made.  When we perceive healing we have to see that as healing for ourselves just as much as for the other. 

How can we help others when we are attacking ourselves?

I watched a video by a doctor named Dr. Gabor Mate’ called “When the Body Says No”, and he talked about how as babies we cannot survive without an adult caretaker like our parents.  Without them we would die.  And he discussed how we need them to accept us and love us and how we adjust our thoughts so they will accept us.  He said that our body has the ability to feel what our caretakers feel, we can tell if they are afraid or mad or whatever they are feeling from our gut feelings.  He asked about a couple of things that could cause a reaction like was anyone in the room ever sexually molested, and then he said how many people told anyone, none of them did.  He said, “why not?”  They all said they were afraid their parents would be disappointed in them. And he said that is the beginning of a path to illness. And then at that moment, we begin to lose our authenticity, and that is one of the basic human needs.  Guilt sets in and the ego attacks. That is when you begin to forget who you are.

I remember a woman who helped me so much because she reminded me who I am.  She listened to my story with Love and compassion, I felt heard and accepted and I started my healing journey. 
I realized that we can really be of service through Love, compassion and listening, non-judgmentally and gently and lovingly reminding each other who we really are.  The relationship we have with others must be the same as the relationship we have with ourselves.  We have to remember that all pain or illness or belief in separation and fear is really a call for Love.  Think of how sweet it feels to hold a little puppy or kitten.  How soft their fur is how soothing it is to touch and connect with an innocent little animal.  If we learn to identify with that feeling and extend that, think of how pleasing to the soul that would be. We could soothe so much pain, and I realize it isn’t always that easy.  We are experts at complicating our earth existence.

But if we learn to really hear each other’s call for Love, and call upon the Holy Spirit to help us understand the dynamics of what we need to take away from this we will be that much closer to finding our heaven here on earth.
God wants us to be happy and to know how much he loves us.  We have a body that we can use to comfort each other, and to create beauty on the earth through art, and music and gardens and great food and companionship’s.  We are partners on this journey, helping each other remember who we really are. We are spirit having a human experience

Peggy Rivera OMC

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Holy Spirit Who Are You

The Holy Spirit is something that has always fascinated me.  Who is the Holy Spirit, What is the Holy Spirit and how does the Holy Spirit relate to me.  This is one of those topics that always gets me thinking.
On the one hand I have read that the Holy Spirit is the entity that reminds us of God’s Love for us, the bridge of communication between God and His separated Sons, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit we find answers to life’s questions.  We learn to see differently and forgive more easily. We learn to follow His lead in all situations.  All we have to do is ask for guidance and be willing to hear his call.  I have read that he is part of the Holy trinity of the God Head as in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  But I have also learned another truth about Him. His function has dual in purpose. We receive comfort from Him and we learn to see past illusions. But I have also realized that the Holy Spirit is the part of us who never forgot who we are. In the Clarification of Terms of ACIM on pg. 89 it say’s “The Holy Spirit abides in the part of your mind that is part of the Christ Mind.  He represents your Self and your Creator, Who are One.  He speaks for God and he speaks for you; being joined by both….. He seems to be a Voice, for in that form He speaks God’s Word to you……It is from these He would deliver you. It is from these that He would make you safe.”
  So the way I see it is the Holy Spirit is joined with you and joined with God.  He represents the un-separated self that is part of the Whole.  So really in the truest sense the Holy Spirit is the part of you that is still part of God.  The part of you that never left God, in other words in reality when you remember you are so much more than the ego and body, your real self is completely at One with the Whole.  And God in all of His Glory and Love for us sent that higher reality to keep reminding us who we are.  Sometimes we are led to people, places or things that will help us heal our thoughts, our hurts and our ego wounds.  I feel that for sure that is the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and that we are led and all we need to do is be willing to heed the call. This is very comforting to me.  I think of all the times I called upon the Holy Spirit to help me see differently, I think of how I felt the gentleness of the words I heard and the peace that always comes over me and I feel so grateful to God for sending a comforter to us. But it is even more wonderful to learn that, that is already how we are in our true home. We are all complete when we awaken. Our job here is to awaken to that reality here on earth.  We can bring Heaven down to Earth.
    I experienced this recently when I was searching for a hypnotist.  I wanted to use hypnosis for weight loss.  But when I sat and talked with the hypnotist I recognized she was sent to me by the Holy Spirit.  The words I needed so desperately to hear came through her.  Through her counsel I have gotten over my addictive tendencies toward food and I have learned to trust the Creative forces at work in my life to show me how to heal.  In my prayers I have had people show up in my life to support me in my healing.  I don’t know what I would have done if I had not been led to this ambassador for my peace because I feel stronger than I ever have and I need this strength because my son was diagnosed with cancer late last year.  I have relied on this inner strength that I receive from the Holy Spirit to keep reminding me that God is still here beside me and my son, we are Love, peace and beauty.  Anytime I get afraid of the outcome I call on the Holy Spirit to guide me through this maze.  I am always reassured things will be OK, it will not be a cake walk but in the long run everything will be OK.
    Thank you Holy Spirit for your loving guidance and thank you God for Loving us enough to send us this comforter.
Peggy Rivera OMC

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The tumbleweed blows around in the desert after it dies it dries up and forms a big ball that rolls around on the barren dust at the winds command.  It goes wherever the wind takes it, and as it tumbles around it drops little seeds in its path. Aimlessly it tumbles to and fro without any direction of its own.
How I can relate to that feeling as a tumbleweed.  Growing up I often felt dry, un-nurtured, and without direction.  The wind reminds me of how I felt that I had no direction of my own. I would often give my power away trying to please others. I didn’t trust myself and I definitely didn’t know how to love myself or care for myself.  I knew how to give but I didn’t know how to receive. 
I think I felt like someone else would come along someday and make me feel whole.  I thought my husband could save me from my lack of self-esteem, he could make me feel special and loved.  And when that didn’t work out I felt even more unlovable.  I was unacceptable as a human being.  Everyone in my life had proved that to me.  When I married again I thought, I just had a bad first experience, this time I will feel better about myself.  But no matter how much he showed me he loved me, I couldn’t believe him.  I didn’t trust him, people have already shown me what to expect from them and I was not about to let myself be vulnerable again.
Through many tears and heartaches I learned that I wasn’t an island. If I didn’t learn to trust I would not find life worth living.  Depression was hanging over me like a veil, I felt weighed down and so alone in my pain.  Until one day I heard a voice say to me, “Peggy, I love you”.
It didn’t take long until I realized that the voice I heard was Holy Spirit calling to me.  Letting me know that I was loved.  I found a book called A Course in Miracles, and as I read my world began to change.  I learned that I am Love.  No matter what the external world appears to say, none of that is true.  I have learned that when I feel anything but Love I am experiencing the fears of the ego.
Recently I was feeling left out in a situation.  I again experienced that feeling of rejection and self-loathing.  I cried out to Holy Spirit to help me with what I was feeling. Sometimes I get messages from Holy Spirit as if I were talking to someone I can’t see, but other times I get the message I need in other ways.  This time I received what I needed from a book.  Anita Moorjani, wrote a book called, Dying to Be Me. She had lymphoma and when she went in to a coma she found herself in a state of awareness where only love exists.  She healed from her cancer and she gives talks about what caused her to develop cancer in the first place.
She also was a people pleaser.  She spent her life trying to be something she wasn’t and she became hopeless.  She said unresolved emotions can eventually lead to illness and the path to healing is learning to replace all that fear with love.  Fear causes a big whole in you that needs to be filled and you have to fill it with Love.
I realized that no matter what my external circumstances were, I will always be Love.  Sometimes the world we see with our human eyes feels so real that it is so easy to forget that this is only make believe.  Anita said if we could see how magnificent we really are we would be blown away.  In this life we are to let our true light really shine.  To Love everyone and everything, even the earth is alive.  When we accept false beliefs about ourselves it dims our light and we begin to hide who we are. We have to find a way every day to remind ourselves what is really true.  Never let the world diminish our true light.
In A Course in Miracles, Text Pg.19, 1.10,11 it says, “This peace is totally incapable of being shaken by errors of any kind. It denies the ability on anything not of God to affect you”.
Thank you
Rev. Peggy Rivera
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Reminding Myself Who I Am

When I opened the Lesson for today I was so grateful that what I read was really what I needed to hear today.  In ACIM Workbook for students, Lesson 56, pg. 92.  “My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.”  I had been feeling a little down because of some family misperceptions.  I say misperceptions because I know from the course that whenever I am unhappy about something I know it isn’t real, it is my perceptions from an unhealed mind.  If I get into the drama of picking apart all of the feelings of injustice that I feel I can get lost in a dark and lonely dream.  I have to remind myself who I really am and who we all are, and how we all get sucked in to the rolls that we play here on the earth plane.  When I remind myself that the truth is we make up these rolls as we go along, but the truth of who we are as eternal Love is never changing.  I can see there really isn’t anything to be upset about.
I realize that I have to go to Holy Spirit continually to help me see things differently, I need to let go of the image that I have created of myself so I can easily see the truth.  As I let go of the image that I see in the world I make room for seeing the reality of God and His Love for all of us, I see He doesn’t see the darkness I get wrapped up in because darkness does not exist in the light.  In God’s Light there is only Love, Joy, Peace, Beauty, Creativity, etc.  And He wants all of this for us.  He gives all of this to us.  When we get lost in the drama of the world, we don’t recognize it.  What a shame it is to miss out on all of these gifts.  I ask for my eyes to be opened to see only Love.  I ask to be released from my fears and insecurity.  I know that every time I begin to let myself fall back into the thoughts of the ego I will be judgmental of others and myself, it feels like being depressed and full of darkness.  I Love when I call on the help of Holy Spirit, my Higher Self I am quickly and pleasantly reminded to see the beauty in everyone, everything and know that I get to choose how to live.  In peace and Love or in dark depression, I think that’s a no-brainer.

Reverend Peggy Rivera,
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Gratitude for my Friend

    I love this time of year, the weather has cooled off a little bit even though I live in Florida we still get a break from the extremely warm temperatures of July through September.  And at Thanksgiving time I am always reminded to pay attention to the things I am so grateful for.  Even though sometimes we lose the very things and people we love.  This is the time of year that we reflect over the past year and acknowledge all that we have learned.  Some people really struggle during the holidays because it is a reminder of the people that are no longer with them.  This year we lost a wonderful and lovely friend, she was my teacher for the Pathways of Light 900 courses, Linda Wisnieski.  I loved her dearly and I will miss her tremendously and I know everyone who knew her feels like I do. Her light could brighten a room.  It is no wonder that she left us during this time of thanksgiving.  Because she is such a light that anyone who shared time with her would find themselves inspired by her, and grateful for the opportunity to know her.  I am so thankful she came into my life.  She was a wonderful teacher, she was so loving and kind.  She never failed to let you know she was happy to even hear your voice. 
    Linda really taught me about loving unconditionally.  She often laughed and said “no guilt, I’m innocent”.  She really brought home what it means to be non-judgmental.  She reminded me that God doesn’t judge, we do.  But that is also why we are here, learning to accept everyone as they are because we are all one. Sometimes I think I have gotten past something that I held a grievance over and I will feel really good about myself, thinking I have really come far.  Then something will trigger an old feeling and suddenly I think “whoa” what happened there?  I have learned that often times there are layers to my feelings.  And I realize that when I have been triggered it is another opportunity to heal at an even deeper level.  Our emotions are like diamonds, they have many facets and for the diamond to really sparkle you have to clean all the facets.  This doesn’t mean you have to dwell on old feelings and keep them alive, it just means you can acknowledge them so you can understand and heal.  Living with buried feelings really does keep you imprisoned but looking at them and shining them off sets you free.  Because if you don’t look at them, the tendency is to bury them and keep acting out from that place.  If you don’t want to live in the past then you have to set it free.  We do that by looking at how the emotions have created patterns that keep repeating themselves through-out your life.  Then we ask Holy Spirit to show us how to see differently.  This is how we really heal, we see what needed to be learned in this earthly sojourn.  And every time we allow ourselves to really look at what lies beneath the surface we gain clarity and the ability to love deeper than we did before.  We realize there is really no need to forgive anyone because what we have experienced is an illusion that we created that actually brought to a deeper healing.
    With all this said, I feel so happy to have had the people in my life that have been my teachers, some taught me my lessons through very painful relationships and experiences and others like my beloved Linda taught me through more love more understanding and more kindness.  And even though I will miss her physical presence I know she is one of the guiding stars that will forever be near guiding me and all of us who need her.  Thank you Linda for being my teacher, and thank you God for bringing us together.

Peggy Rivera O.M.C.

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Learning to Forgive Promotes Healing

Relationships are a very good place for opportunities for us to see where we need to heal our minds.  How often do we hear ourselves or our brothers complain about something someone else said or did to make us unhappy?  It is our thoughts that get out of control and when we believe our unhappiness is caused by some outside force we fall deeper and deeper into the perception we are alone and afraid and separate from our source.

If we listen to the voice of the ego, we have chosen fear and pain and sickness.  These are blocking us from the healing thoughts of our true nature.  I like to imagine having those two little beings on my shoulders, the devil (ego) on one side and an angel (Holy Spirit) on the other.  We have to choose which one to listen to on a regular basis.  In A Course in Miracles,(page451) in the Workbook for students, it says, “I can obscure my holy sight, if I intrude my world upon it. Nor can I behold the holy sights Christ looks upon unless it is His vision that I use.  Perception is a mirror not a fact.”

We always have the choice, that is our freedom.  Our call is to hear the Voice and share it.  To share makes it increase.

We use the body for communication.  We listen to the Voice for God and he guides us gently back to our wholeness.  It takes our focusing on hearing only that voice so that we can heal.  We heal through each other, we teach what we learn and we learn what we teach.  If we are listening to the Holy Spirits guidance we expand the Love and joy that promotes healing for all of us.  So when someone is really down in the depths of despair, we can see what they have forgotten the truth.  That is all we really need to do.  We do not judge, we support, we offer our unconditional love, kindness and prayer.

I am aware in my own mind that as I go to Holy Spirit whenever I have symptoms I receive flashes of insight in my mind.  For me it is a process that takes time.  I think sometimes healing takes time.  Healing is not something we rush through.  We all will heal, we focus on forgiveness of ourselves and each other.  I think that’s what I am being made aware of when I experience the flashes of images from my past, I am seeing the opportunity to see differently.  Forgiving the dream is essential for all healing.  I think it feels really wonderful to know that God has already forgiven us, we just have to accept that forgiveness for ourselves.  And to teach that to others so it can expand to more and more people everywhere, that way the whole is healed.

Rev. Peggy Rivera O.M.C.
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We say I love you all the time.  I love my children, I love my spouse, I love my friends.  We feel like we have lots of love to go around.  And for the most part I think we are sincere about that, but are we?  What is love really?

There are different kinds of love, at least on the earth plane.  The love we have for our siblings is different than the love we have for our friends.  The love we have for our spouse or lover is different than the love we have for our children or our parents etc.  We compare our love.  We feel people have to prove love.  We sometimes feel a shortage of love.  Well is this real love?

I think we can be sure that if what we are calling love has any demands, it isn’t real love, it is ego representation. I have seen people spend atrocious amounts of money on someone out of what they call love.

I know it is so hard to discern the difference when we feel so strongly about the subject of whom we are devoting all of our attention on.  But if you realize that real Love is not a verb but a state of being it feels a little easier to recognize.  You see when we put demands on love we are adding fear to the equation.  Because we think that if our demands are not met we experience a lack of love.  Just what the ego revels in.

In my healing process I recently had to search my own heart about this.  In my social circle someone spends a lot of money on someone that I love.  They go to Europe and many places of entertainment, they buy them expensive gifts.  Anything they wish to have is given to them.  I was so upset and I thought how I resented them because I thought it wasn’t fair or right.  I thought to myself that they are doing all of this for their own self-gratification and not out of love for this person.  I felt a lack of love.  I felt like I wasn’t enough, and totally unloved.
Then I took it to Holy Spirit; with guidance I realized that my belief system was different than there’s and my judgement was showing me where I needed to heal.  I forgot that we are Love.  That is what our true nature is so there is no lack of Love.  I realized that I was looking to the ego for justification, and it was so easy to fall into the trap of looking in the wrong place for guidance.  It’s true I may be right about their motives.  But even if that is the truth, judging them is not helpful.  Whenever we take an ego stance we will be disappointed in the outcome.
Holy Spirit made me aware of the fact that Love doesn’t have a price tag.  There is no shortage of Love, it is the air we breathe, and it is our inheritance.  We have no control over the choices others make.  We can see them in their wholeness and remember for them who they really are.  Love makes no judgement no demands, it just is.  Now that I have come to the truth I am free to share the Love that we are freely.  It is easier to Love without all the complications the ego would have imposed.  I am so thankful for my healing.

Rev. Peggy Rivera
Palm Bay, Fl.
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