April-June, 2018
A little over a year ago, on February 9th, 2017, I met my now wife — Rev. Maria Felipe (also a Pathways Minister), ACIM teacher & Author of “Live Your Happy.” (http://www.mariafelipe.org)
I had never heard of her before, even though I was studying A Course in Miracles (ACIM) two years before that.
I couldn’t really nail down what it was, but for some reason I felt so attracted to her, even shy. I met her on an ACIM retreat and I remember I didn’t even say, “Hi.” to her because I felt so intimidated by her presence.
1 YEAR LATER:
I am married.
I am expecting my first child.
I am on my path to becoming a Pathways Minister.
Wow!
April-June, 2018
The message on my voicemail said, “Cindy, this is Lorraine Merritt … I don’t know if you’re aware that Linda Wisniewski made her transition a short time ago…” I was stunned. Linda Wisniewski, my Pathways of Light ministerial facilitator, the person I talked to on the phone every week for the past nine months, is gone from this physical world. I broke down and cried.
I felt a deep connection with Linda from our very first phone meeting. We never physically met; yet it seemed I knew her my entire life. With each phone conversation our friendship flourished. Through the ministerial lessons and with Linda’s guidance and encouragement, I shared with her my deepest fears and worries; my greatest joys and aspirations. I joked with Linda that she knew more about me than my husband of twenty plus years.
April-June, 2018
I was guided to work with three lessons after experiencing the appearance of a bronchial infection and having a flare up of arthritic symptoms along with a skin condition of psoriasis. The lessons I was guided to were: Workbook Lesson 76: I am Under No Laws but God’s, Lesson 91: Miracles are Seen in the Light and Lesson 92: Miracles Are Seen in Light and Light and Strength are One.
First it was interesting to note the sequence of what took place before I experienced the chest cold and what has taken place since and how it has served as an opportunity for healing my mind and strengthening my connection with my God Source.
April-June, 2018
“Holy child of God, when will you learn that only holiness can content you and give you peace? Remember that you learn not for yourself alone, no more than I did. It is because I learned for you that you can learn of me. I would but teach you what is yours, so that together we can replace the shabby littleness that binds the host of God to guilt and weakness with the glad awareness of the glory that is in him. My birth in you is your awakening to grandeur. Welcome me not into a manger, but into the altar to holiness, where holiness abides in perfect peace. My Kingdom is not of this world because it is in you. And you are of your Father. Let us join in honoring you, who must remain forever beyond littleness.” (T-15.III.9)
April-June, 2018
Okay, I can hear you saying: “Why should I do mirror affirmations? It really seems silly. And say them out loud? Even more preposterous! Anyway, aren’t affirmations pretty ‘Sixties’? No one does that anymore! I am a modern person. I don’t need those affirmations and affirmations that go with the ACIM lessons are really a step too far. I will just read the lessons and, Barbara, even if I have your book, I will just read the affirmations when I read my daily lesson.”
April-June, 2018
I was preparing for my trip to see the folks in Florida. Joyful! Joyful! I spent the day before I left with my beautiful granddaughter. We often draw, paint, or make things together and as we do, we talk. She shares about her friends or school and I share some of the lessons/gifts I have learned on my spiritual journey.
I had the idea of making valentine cards for each other. It started with hearts and border designs in pinks and purples. She likes to draw cats and dogs. She drew us standing next to each other with big smiles and birdies flying around us. Singing, of course.
April-June, 2018
I ask myself this all the time. Why me? What is so holy about me that He has given me what so many others lack? What have I done of any real good that entitles me to miracles? His miracles.
I’ve known, from the moment I first opened A Course in Miracles that the words were already resonating within me even as I read the first principle of miracles, “There is no order of difficulty in miracles.”
April-June, 2018
I was on my way to a Continuing Education Class — the kind where you have to clock in all the hours or you will not receive credit for the course.
Class started early, so I was driving in the weekly morning traffic. All of a sudden the cars in front of me starting veering off the lane. As I approached, I saw there was a large turkey that had been hit by a car, but had not been killed — he was severely injured and his legs were kicking and flailing.
April-June, 2018
There was nothing to eat in the fridge. I decided to stop at my local grocer on the way home. I drove to the store, selected a shopping cart, walked through the sliding door, dug through my bag for my shopping lists on my phone and suddenly just froze in my tracks. I realized that I had no special lists for nutritious foods or drinks. In fact, I had no grocery list at all. Richard, my husband of 30 years, had passed a week before. As a full time caregiver, I had not considered what I wanted to eat in months. I had no idea. This was the first of many poignant moments to come after my husband’s transition in 2015.
April-June, 2018
THE PAUSE is a relaxation practice — real relaxation. When we relax — which is different from being a couch potato — we are much more able to let go of thoughts, feelings and judgments of our self, others and situations that are weighing us down. Step back is “The decision to get out of my own way.” I notice that when I am willing to Step Back, to get out of my own way and I am willing to allow room for another way, mental strain loosens its grip on my mind, feelings overtaking my heart lighten up and the muscle tension in my body begins to soften.
January-March, 2018
January-March, 2018
There is a thing called happiness. What is it? How do I get it? How do I keep it? Where does it go?
I spent much of my life here looking for happiness — looking, searching, waiting, hoping. When I was a little girl, happiness seemed like something other people had. Other people knew how to do it right, to be happy. I saw Prince Charming rescue the princess and surely that had to be happiness. They even said they lived happily ever after. “Some day my prince will come. Some day, I will be happy.” That’s what kept me going in the seeming endless muck of life which mostly was the opposite of happy. I was sad, confused, disillusioned and lonely.
January-March, 2018
I can remember being harsh with my husband when I was married. I would feel attacked by him and I would defend myself. It felt like strength when I defended myself, but it was really weakness. I know now that “In my defenselessness my safety lies” is a wholly true statement. When I would defend myself two things would happen; our relationship would deteriorate a little, and I would feel more vulnerable.
At that time, I wasn’t able to see things differently. It was going to be awhile before I realized the strength of gentleness. I had to learn that everyone is innocent in spite of appearances.
January-March, 2018
When you… reach out to another,
you are reaching in… to you.
So all you do… for others,
you also do… for you.
All that you may ask of me,
you ask for me and you.
And, all that you are giving me,
you also give to you.
January-March, 2018
I get asked a lot by my students and clients:
How can I be happy?
How can I no longer suffer?
How can things change in my life?
I always say, “It takes something” from my own experience and those whom I work with. There is a desire to heal, but not really. We still want to judge, we still don’t want to forgive and still want to look for something outside in form to complete us.
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