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January-March, 2025

Unholy Attachments: Letting Go to Receive

by Rev. Maureen Yarbrough, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

In this fast-paced world of hopping from one activity to another and just not stopping or slowing down from morning to night, it’s easy to lose sight of the Light and be less than pleasant with those closest to us — those “special” relationships in our lives of significant others and immediate family, close friends, etc. Geeze, I have been guilty of doing so time after time in my journey.

It was a long process to elevate from blaming others, to eventually seeing and realizing that I am, quite literally, the cause of my own problems and not a one have anything at all to do with anyone else. I simply need to unplug and practice some realignment and self-love. Keep in mind that there is no guilt in having special relationships — this world is made as the playground for them. I have felt that in this realm, here, I am always training in forgiveness. At first it was torturous, but as time goes on, it is much less so…though ‘it” can only occur in an instant! Ha! Go figure.

A Course in Miracles views guilt in special relationships as stemming from the belief in separation. Our true nature is unified with God and all beings.

Special relationships, while seemingly innocent, reinforce the illusion of separation by placing emphasis on a specific individual, leading to exclusion and judgment of others. This perceived separation is the root of guilt. A good example is the green monster of jealousy. Especially when I was young, I felt very inferior, which resulted in feelings of envy, and simply not being good enough.

When I look through the eyes of pure love, there would be nothing to be ever be jealous of as everything turns out for the best, and there are no accidents, so why would I choose to live in fear instead of faith in each decision following my Inner Guidance of Love and mercy? When I am clinging instead to fear, choosing to defend my ego, I am projecting that upon this person. This projection of our own guilt onto our partner (or the use of the relationship to avoid facing our own inner conflict) can lead to dependency, control, and unhealthy attachments. All of which lead to separation and dis-ease (any state other than peace). 

Ah, the ego. That master manipulator, that inner drama queen/king who just can’t resist a good dose of guilt and separation. It’s like the ego has a subscription to the ‘Drama of the Month’ club, and special relationships are its favorite binge-worthy series.

ACIM distinguishes between true Love, which is unconditional and extends to all beings, and special love, which is conditional and exclusive – “separate.” Special love is based on fear and lack, while true Love is rooted in the awareness of our shared divine nature (I think of it as PURE love – just so CLEAN & CLEAR!).

ACIM emphasizes forgiveness as the path to healing guilt in special relationships. By forgiving ourselves and our partners for the illusion of separation (so, yeah, uh, nothing!), we can release the guilt and experience true Love and connection.

Here are some ways that I apply ACIM principles to address guilt in special relationships:

Recognize the illusion: Become aware of how the special relationship reinforces the belief in separation. Guilt and shame arise from the ego’s attempt to maintain the illusion of separation from God and others. By recognizing that this separation is an illusion, you can begin to loosen the grip of guilt and shame.

Question your thoughts: When feelings of guilt or shame arise, ask yourself, “Is this thought based on truth or the ego’s illusion?”

Practice forgiveness: Forgive yourself: Release self-judgment and acknowledge that you are worthy of love and forgiveness, despite any perceived mistakes.

Forgive others: Forgive those who you believe have caused you harm, recognizing that they too are operating under the illusion of separation.

See mistakes as learning opportunities: Instead of dwelling on past actions, view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Thinking of forgiveness as a LETTING GO…or releasing, is therapeutic to me, and maybe a visualization or even a practice, that may work for you, too.

Shift my focus: Instead of seeking completion in the relationship, cultivate inner peace and connection with my true Self. See where you have performed in a similar way to someone else perhaps.

Extend Love to all: Practice extending love and compassion to all beings, not just my partner… oh, this is life changing for me. It shifts me immediately into pure Love and soul tingles!

Seek guidance from the Holy Spirit: I ask for guidance in recognizing and releasing guilt. Spend time in stillness: Engage in practices like meditation or prayer to connect with your Inner Wisdom and receive guidance. I cannot overstate the healing power of meditation. When I stopped viewing it as a time stealer and re-envisioned it as a powerful healing tool (which it IS) it has an irreplaceable tool.

Trust my intuition: Listen to my Inner Voice and trust the guidance It provides. You will know. There will be no nagging doubts.

All relationships are tools for training. ACIM encourages us to transform them by bringing awareness and forgiveness to each of our interactions, allowing them to become expressions of true love rather than sources of guilt.

Here are a few ways I try to practice on a daily basis:

Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these emotions.

Seek support: Connect with others who are studying ACIM or working on personal growth.

Study ACIM consistently: Deepen your understanding of its principles through regular study and reflection. It will change your life for the better.

Rev. Maureen Yarbrough is a Pathways of Light minister living in Yulee, Florida. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2024, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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January-March, 2025

I’d Rather Be the Light than Be Right!

by Rev. Vicki Evans, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

When I awakened this week, I realized I needed to take a step back and be re-awakened to the observation that I feel like some of the peace I am striving to maintain has taken flight and been replaced by some irritation. I find that I am slipping back into needing to be right more than choosing peace! My identity sometimes gets caught up in needing to prove my point, but I want to live my true self and go back to my true Identity as Love and Light.

This fact had me running back to my Pathways of Light teachings in the course 905: Special Relationships vs. Holy Relationships. When I opened my notebook, I was led to page 3, paragraph 2 where it stated: “Either we come from oneness of Love as an extension of Love, or we come from the belief in separation – the ego. Specialness is not the real truth.” 

Nothing makes me reevaluate myself quicker than the realization that when I am needing to be right in my conversations or relationships, I am acting from ego and a state of specialness. The result is me feeling and acting from a confused and split mind. I may have been searching for validation for knowing the “right” answer, but I traded in connection to others.

In reading page 3 in course 905 notebook, I referred back to reading the following in A Course In Miracles: “The more you approach the center of His thought system, the clearer the light becomes. The closer you come to the foundation of the ego’s thought system, the darker and more obscure becomes the way. Yet even the little spark in your mind is enough to lighten it. Bring this light fearlessly with you.” (T-11.in.3:4–7) These hopeful words from A Course in Miracles were just the catalyst I needed to remember to live in peace and light!

As the last paragraph on page 3 of my notebook states “The Holy Spirit is there to lead us. He just needs our willingness to step back and be receptive to his guidance.”

Another realization came to me with the help of Holy Spirit as I was sitting outdoors in the sunshine in quiet reflection to go to Holy Spirit. I saw an image of myself sitting quietly and peacefully, and taking a step back. I went into deep breathing where I practiced inhaling through my nose in count of 4, holding breath 1 second, then releasing air through mouth as I count down for 4 seconds and repeat 10 times. During this peaceful breathing, I was unable to verbalize any statements of disagreement or confrontation; I could just be in silence in the moment! I cannot be speaking if I am deep breathing!

I also asked Holy Spirit to help me collect a mental bag of go-to words to create peace in my relationships so that I can replace ego phrases such as “I don’t think so,” “that’s not right,” “ I disagree,” “I’m sure of it” with human connection phrases such as: “maybe,” “certainly could be,” “yeah,” “maybe so,” “possibly,” it’s possible,” and the all-important paramount word for me – “OK”! I now choose to just say the one word “OK.” To me it implies respect, says I am listening, asks the other person to carry on with their ideas. It does not hold a definite opinion or commitment if I need a little more time to reflect. Also, these positive phrases have helped reset me when I feel like verbalizing a long self-promoting sentence or tirade of how right I feel I am.

I have even tried adding the word peace after a phrase such as OK — peace, maybe so — peace, that could be — peace, maybe — peace! This technique keeps me on track of my true goal of staying in peace with Holy Spirit! The word OK is also a reset for me to take a deep breath and choose peace instead of feeling the need to be right!

I also received a visual of clouds representing thoughts floating by with no attachment of anger or confrontation when I hear and perceive a statement that may be different from my perspective. I now look forward to a new perspective of another’s opinion as I can always be open to learning when in peace! I don’t have to be in total agreement to say “OK.” This is my code word to listen with respect and kindness.

Today I even tried out a phrase that I have never said before in my life: “I agree to agree!” This phrase reminds me that with agreement, I agree to be open to new learning, listen with respect to the opinion of others, and be kind and supportive, even if I come from a different opinion and perspective. As I remember this statement and say it with sincerity, I receive the gift of peace and harmony!

Rev. Vicki Evans, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Dallas, Texas. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  Phone: 713-775-9153

© 2024, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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January-March, 2025

Giving Up My Rights

by Rev. Nicole Witt, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Before I started applying A Course in Miracles to my life, I thought that I was right. Right about my opinions, right about my judgments, right in what I thought should or should not happen. I bet you have heard the phrase, “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?” I believed they were the same thing for a very long time. It was almost like my “rightness” proved that I was alright, like I was arguing for my right to exist.

Even the most inconsequential topic was fodder for an argument, a proving I was right and defending myself. Any little time I could say “you’re wrong, I’m right,” I was ready to pounce on it.

What I have recently discovered is that in order to be truly happy, to be in a state of peace, not only do I have to give up being right, or at least proving it, but I also have to give up my rights – the “right” to be offended, the “right” to be angry, the “right” to be judgmental, the “right” to perceive myself as unfairly treated.

“Whenever you consent to suffer pain, to be deprived, unfairly treated or in need of anything, you but accuse your brother of attack upon God’s Son. You hold a picture of your crucifixion before his eyes, that he may see his sins are writ in Heaven in your blood and death, and go before him, closing off the gate and damning him to hell.” (T-27.I.3:1-2)

That does not sound like a happy place to me and I cannot send my brother there and claim happiness for myself.

All of these “rights” keep me stuck in conflict, in a world where we are different and have to defend ourselves, like there is anything to defend against.

Yes, there are still plenty of opportunities each day for me to exercise my rights of feeling offended, etc. But I know if I choose that, I will not be happy, not in the way God wills for me. I will not be peaceful if I hold on to the belief there is something to be offended by.

Just this morning as I was working on this writing, I asked Holy Spirit to give me a real life example to share with you. Well, within the next hour, I had numerous examples to choose from!  From my thoughts that my husband “should” have cleaned out the fridge while I was out of town (and how come I have to do everything?), to the fact that the story my husband told me about how he spent his evening didn’t line up with my version of events. As those thoughts came into my awareness, I had a choice. Do I argue those facts? Do I let them steal my peace? Or do I choose happiness instead?

It is amazing to me, as I have let my mind slow down enough, that I can stand in a moment of deciding what I want –— do I want to defend my “right” or do I want the peace of God? It is not possible to have both. I am happy to say that when I stand in that moment, I choose love and peace more often than not these days.

Sometimes, I react first and then pause and that is okay because I can forgive myself my unawareness and make a new decision in that moment.

I am so grateful to give up my rights in order to be happy!

Rev. Nicole Witt, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Redding, CA. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  https://nicoleelisewitt.substack.com/ Phone: (818) 271-8065(818) 271-8065

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January-March, 2025

Do I Belong?

by Rev. Ashley Rose Legrand, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

What if the things that we thought made us strange, different, outcasts or “weird,” were really the things that make us fascinatingly beautiful and incredible? The things that give us our wings, allowing us to soar to new levels ­— a celestial, Heavenly level where there is only good, only mercy, only truth; an infinite creation of Love; an infinite field of beauty beyond time and space, where there is no guilt, no pain, no turmoil, only radical, unending, soul-penetrating, Love.

A fiery adoration of our own divine muse, moving us to a higher dimension of infinite possibility and wisdom. A land where nothing is impossible. Where no good thing is withheld. Where complete fulfillment is not only possible but an inevitability. A natural result of developing and using our God-given gifts and talents in the most useful and loving way, to serve the highest good. Here happiness is not just a choice but a given, as natural and as ‘right’ as breathing.

Here in this place I am intoxicated by a Love so profound and vast, marveling at Its splendor, I am moved to tears. The water shed alchemizing my very soul, transforming me yet again, renewing and refreshing my Spirit; like always, as many times as necessary, healing and uncovering what temporarily became hidden by the muck and grime of the passing earthly love pollution.

These tears make all things new. They wash me clean of the residue. Nothing can deter God’s almighty love that He made to shine through me. Nothing can alter my DNA — my Divine Natural Ability — to be the Love that I am. “In love was I created, and in love will I remain forever.”  (W-268.1:5) 

Here now, I feel Heaven’s glow upon my face; the angel’s kiss upon my cheek; His anointing of oil on my head, coating every crevice of my being. His touch of favor carved into my hand, given me to extend it outward to every brother. To shine it into every mind that connects to meet mine. To co-create peace with me, in me and through me. The light of God captivating and showcasing our true and eternal formless essence. Helping us to remember that we are more than our bodies. We are spirit and we are one.

This angelic, heavenly dance lets time disappear. All the world stands still to watch the whole kingdom intertwine in this display of the divine. We are now light and free. Transformed once again, through our unity.

Now I see, all that’s been shown to me. There is indeed, nothing ‘wrong’ or out of tune, with who God made me to be. My Spirit shining and strong, it was perfect all along. Beautiful, natural and free. All of me. Displayed to see.

Every intricate detail that makes you, “you,” is part of the make up of your unique inner being. You are the handwriting of God. Your soul the fabric of His love. Your individual expression was formed, decided and ordained by Him. “My part is essential to God’s plan for salvation.” (W-268.1:5). Who are we to think we know better?

Let us embrace every part of who we are. The parts that seem so spectacular and even those we feel need work, because seen truly they are all miraculous. They all offer their own gifts. Formulated as part of our “highly individualized curriculum.” Our path that He’s carefully crafted for us. A very particular set of stones laid out for us on which to step. Let us “follow in the way that he has appointed.” (W-317), “Stepping back and letting Him lead the way.” (W-317). Knowing and trusting that His ways lead to the highest and grandest vistas that hold a beauty only He could fashion. Reserved and held in trust for us when we are brave enough, to follow the call and to do His will.

Let us rise up strong and rejoice in confidence and gladness at the way He has formed us. Knowing that it’s all part of the divine plan. We can relax into who we are, knowing God approves. We are, after all, His creation. An extension of His heart. Let us be content with who we are and content in where He takes us. “I am content to be where He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.” (T-2.V-A.18.5)

All is in order. All is well.

The paths are many, but the direction is the same. The One Holy directional sign emblazoned with the word, “truth.” Shining unequivocally, dazzling in light. Pointing out the way, to lead us home together, in Love.

Through this vision that He sent me, now I am able to see. And now I can hear His message too… “Go in peace, beloved. You are mine. You are Safe. And you most certainly belong.”

Rev. Ashley Rose Legrand, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Metuchen, New Jersey. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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