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October-December, 2015

Helpting Each Other Home

by Maura Williams

It’s never about what you’re doing. It’s never about your behavior. It’s always about your thoughts and sometimes it’s about what you’re not doing by doing whatever it is you are doing.

You can take just about any “bad” habit and apply this to it.

I often interrupt people when they talk. I think I know what they’re going to say and I’m afraid I’ll forget what I want to say, so I interrupt them and blurt out my comment.

Let’s look not a what I did that was so rude, but at what I didn’t do: I didn’t let them finish. I don’t know what they were going to say and now I probably won’t get to hear it, because I’ve hurt their feelings. But there’s more. In not letting them finish, I didn’t allow the Holy Spirit room to reply through me. My ego thought its agenda was more important and rushed in to “help” me. I don’t need this kind of help. It is not loving, it is not kind and it is not caring. It’s selfish, rude and unnecessary.

How will I change this? I’ll relax. I’ll listen next time, all the way to the very end. I will allow space for my brother to express himself and I’ll allow space for the Holy Spirit to work through me. This looks like speaking and listening, but it is giving and receiving; listening and replying; acknowledging and accepting and allowing. This is a beautiful, complete, full circle. Being part of this circle is to know Oneness. It is to know Love, to give it and to receive it and it all happens in a way that no one knows for sure who is giving and who is receiving. All of us are healed in this circle and all of us are helping each other Home.

Another habit I have is that I isolate myself when I’m feeling hurt. I don’t want to be around people. I don’t feel like I have anything positive to share and my mother taught me, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I’ve taken this to the extreme and turned it into something like this, “If you don’t have anything positive to share, stay away from other people.” Maybe I should let the Holy Spirit look at this with me.

If I isolate myself all I see is the pain I’m feeling. This might be a good first step, but in the long run I need to be interacting with others. If I’m isolating, I’m not accepting that I am one with God and my brother. The Course says, “Salvation is a collaborative venture. It cannot be undertaken by those who disengage themselves from the Sonship, because they are disengaging themselves from me. God will come to you only as you will give Him to your brothers. Learn first of them and you will be ready to hear God. That is because the function of love is one.” (T-4.VII.8:2-6)

I don’t want to be disengaged from Jesus. He holds my hand as I walk through this life. I cannot see myself without the mirror of my brother. Sometimes brothers hold each other in love and allow each other to fall apart. Somehow letting go of the pain we feel in another’s arms is very healing. I’ve done this for others and others have done it for me. We give and take; we love and receive. We allow the Holy Spirit to work miracles through us by realizing what we’re not doing.

If I’m isolating myself I’m not allowing God to come to me through my brother. I tell myself I’m being strong, but what I’m really doing is giving in to weakness and making myself weaker and more vulnerable. I’m not acknowledging my oneness and in a sense, I’m fighting God. I’m telling Him, “No. I don’t want you to love me through my brother.” In some way, I think I’m protecting myself from pain. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The truth is I’m taking a bath in my pain. I’m enjoying it. I’m in my ego-self and the pain is proof God doesn’t love me.

When I’m able to see what I’m doing, I’m able to stop it, to give up and to ask the Holy Spirit to help me. That’s when I find myself in my brother’s presence enjoying the Love of God through him. What an awesome plan God came up with to save us from ourselves.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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