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July-September, 2015

When Guilt Comes Up…

by Rev. Susan Comello, O.M.C.

For months, I tried to write the comprehensive article on guilt. I had a mountain and an ocean of guilt come up. When I tried to write about it, I kept feeling overwhelmed and could not finish it without resulting in jibberish and more guilt and confusion.

No wonder. I was trying to explain an insane thought system. I was using ego to try to make sense of things. Because I took on the premise that what I was experiencing was in any way possible or plausible, I kept wallowing in the quagmire of trying to make sense of what is not real.

Here is another attempt to write about it all. I was raised with guilt as my guide. I was told I would go to hell because I thought I was beautiful. So to be guilty was actually useful because it might keep me from going to hell when I die. (For much of my life, little did I know that guilt itself IS hell.)

My previous lifelong dilemma: How could I think I was okay or good if thinking such a thing meant I would end up in hell? The ego trick was that if I feel bad about myself, I might have a chance to go to heaven someday. Well, this little ego trick has taken awhile to sort out.

Events in my life recently have led to a sh**load of guilt. I cried and cried over the ugliness of myself, that I could do this “horrible” thing or think that “horrible” thing. I knew, even in the depths of this seeming despair, that it was all not real. I knew Holy Spirit was with me, but I was still not able to let the guilt go because a little part of me still believed that I was a bad person and deserved to suffer. I held onto a little morsel of belief that I was alone and a victim of the world. And how could I be alone and a victim of the world unless I was truly guilty and deserved to suffer?

This is the logic of the ego. The insane assumption that even one little tiny bit of what the ego tells us is true, builds into another insane belief and a bigger, deeper insane belief until all that is left is misery and suffering. O-o-o, it hurt a lot.

The Truth was never in doubt. I had simply forgot and let the clouds and fog obscure my vision for awhile. I just had to keep giving the guilt to Holy Spirit and keep asking for Holy Spirit’s vision.

I am blessed with great abundance of help on the path, as are we all, as we open to the Love within and all around us. I could try to list the steps in my healing journey, but as a good friend has often said, “When I make lists, I know I am coming from ego.” In Truth, Spirit is always speaking to us, always loving, always here with us.

How do I speak of all the little shifts, the calls to journey partners, the ah-ha’s reading of the Course, the practice of lessons, the ACIM Practitioner Course 906: Healing Through Forgiveness, the Inner Wisdom counseling, the many moments of opening to Spirit’s wisdom, the Pathways of Light weekend calls. Each moment of willingness brings a gift of clearer vision.

I remember months ago, when the big wave seemed to arise, like a tsunami, from nowhere. I was in shock for awhile and then in disbelief and then in guilt, and of course, fear. I prayed and prayed to Holy Spirit. I wanted the pain to be gone.

It did not relieve immediately. This was something I have been working on for awhile. But, looking back, I see that many beautiful steps along the way have shown me some of the tricks of the ego that were not in my awareness. I guess this is why it happened the way it did.

I am also learning that I do not have to go through such tumultuous lessons, I can learn with gentle easy lessons. I do not know what anything is for. I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that there is no trick the ego can devise which is not seen as nothing through the eyes of Love.

I had been impatient. I wanted to be right and not wait for Spirit to speak to me. I am still working on this. Ha Ha. But, looking back, the outcome was never in question. Spirit always comes. Spirit always answers. Spirit is always here. I can neither harm nor be harmed. I am innocent. I am God’s creation. God is but love and therefore, so am I. I just need to be still, be patient, be willing to hear the Truth. I refuse to live in fear. I choose Love and peace, as this is God’s will for me. I will joy and peace for myself. I join with Holy Spirit to see the innocence in every brother and in myself, as we are One Self. Guilt is hell. My holiness is my salvation.

Rev. Susan Comello, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Madison, Wisconsin.  Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July-September, 2015

Trusting My Own Experience

by Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C.

There are still some ACIM concepts to which I have resistance. Lesson 128 was my Workbook lesson of the day: The world I see holds nothing that I want. I would be embarrassed to tell any of my non-Course friends about this lesson. I feel like they would say, “Who would want to devote themselves to such a depressing concept?”

I have studied the Workbook many times over the last 20 years using different methods. This year I decided to do it with James Twyman and his Chorus of Miracles.

He and his talented musicians sing the title of each lesson for a few minutes. James then reads the lesson before they sing the chorus again. He finishes with a “reflection” on the lesson interpreting the meaning it has for him. It is a new way for me to study the Workbook and usually takes less than 15 minutes. I am enjoying the process almost every morning.

So why does Lesson 128 cause me to wince each time I see it? It says that if I believe in this thought — The world I see holds nothing that I want — I will be “saved from years of misery.” It says that everything I value in the world is a chain that binds me.

It makes me look carefully at the things I think I value. I say to myself, “Holy Spirit cannot be including my granddaughters in this, can He?” The special relationships in our lives are very tough for us to release — to let go and let God.

The next lesson (129) states, “Beyond this world there is a world I want.” It describes that world in glorious, heavenly terms. It encourages me to make the exchange of the physical world for the metaphysical world. Lesson 130 says there can be no compromise in this. In fact it states, It is impossible to see two worlds.

This is the challenge of ACIM as I see it. I am being asked to look at this world differently — to let go of all I think it is. I don’t need validation from others. But I do need a personal experience of the truth. I have received that experience since the passing of my son, Kevin, five years ago.

I can look at his story of drug addiction as if it was a movie or a play and I am playing the role of the father in this bizarre fantasy I made up with my thoughts. The Course encourages me not to take anything in this world too seriously. It is possible to apply this to all areas of my life.

After all, none of it is real except the reflections of Love that come into it. Accepting this is true liberation from the world’s grip. I can keep the Love — the only part that is real — and let go of the rest. When I accept this, I feel more Love and peace in my life.

I facilitate an ACIM study group at my home on Tuesday nights. Every so often some people new to A Course in Miracles show up to see what it is all about. I see the look on their faces when the Text explains that the world we see through the body’s eyes is not real. Sometimes they actually get upset with what they read and hear in our discussions. Without the consistent mind training offered by ACIM, a new student is not ready to hear these seemingly radical concepts.

Although the study group has grown, students come and go with regularity. It is not my function to convince others of the truth of ACIM. With practice, I am ready to listen to Holy Spirit. ACIM has given me confidence that I can hear Holy Spirit’s voice — the Voice for God. My experience tells me this is true.

I don’t need agreement from new students for them to be welcomed to the study group. I just need to accept that some are not ready for it. I try not to be defensive when they reject some of the core concepts. I try to remember that I only have to accept the Atonement (the correction in my own thinking) for myself.

Sometimes my ego still bristles at the concept that the world I see holds nothing that I want. I still miss out on a lot of opportunities to forgive — to let go. My devotion to practicing, however, helps me to loose the world from all I thought it was. (Lesson 132)

I’ll just keep practicing. My experience tells me that it works.

Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July-September, 2015

The One About Perception

by Rev. Stephan Mead, O.M.C.

Last week, Nancy and I travelled across the country, Seattle to New York, to attend my nephew’s wedding. Nancy had never been to New York, and was excited about the trip. So was I. Several months ago we received the invitation, and from then on my “projector” was working at warp speed.

“Projection makes perception. The world you see is what you gave it, nothing more than that. But though it is no more than that, it is not less.” (T21.I.1-3)  About a year previous, I won a raffle, the prize being two Alaska Airline tickets to wherever they flew so all we needed was money for the hotel. (Thank you, Nancy!) We had many talks in the weeks before our trip, how fabulous it would be wandering the different sections of Manhattan, spending time at central park, riding the subways, and many more typical tourist activities. I was “projecting” good times only!

Since I was “projecting” the world (NYC) as I wanted to see it, my perception was that this trip would be joyful. Our trip was joyful! All my expectations of, “how this event should be” were fulfilled. It was a most special time.

For the readers’ familiar with the way ACIM uses the word “special,” you may be hearing spiritual alarms going off about now. What actually happened on this trip? Did I finally get the hang of projecting, so my perceptions were in alignment with the truth? Is this how “almost waking up” looks like? Maybe I had been making too heavy going of life. Just think (project) positive thoughts and life will turn out the way I want it to!

My perception was, “YES!”  I finally figured out how to correctly bring the principles of ACIM into my experience. In gratitude, I quieted my mind (some) and gave thanks to Holy Spirit for my spiritual breakthrough. This is where the trouble started. The insight I received from Holy Spirit was that suffering is not the only basis to motivate one to experience Reality. We are told many times in ACIM that Holy Spirit can use any circumstance to promote healing, so I’m thinking now, that even means circumstances that I judge “good.”

I had forgotten that, “perception is a result and not a cause” (T-21. I.8)  I decided with help from my ego, what a “good time” should look like, projecting every detail — even down to the weather. As long as everything went my way, all was well. But what if our plane was delayed? What if it rained? What if I caught the flu? What if, what if, what if! Now do I still think I’ve mastered the problems of life? Not so much!

I had projected that outside occurrences would dictate my inner serenity, so following the law of projection, my perception of what would bring me peace and joy and happiness was fatally flawed. I was not meeting the conditions of peace. Obviously, I have room for more healing! I gotta tell you though, finding an opportunity to heal without a lot of suffering isn’t such a bad deal! Please sign me up for more of these opportunities Holy Spirit! And, thank you!

Rev. Stephan Mead, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Seattle, Washington. E-mail: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July-September, 2015

The Great Whisperer in Your Heart

by Rev. Michelle Rado, O.M.C.

Below despair there is a place untouched by human hands. This is the place where the voice for God lives within us and waits patiently for us to hear Its whisper.

A beacon of Love – this whisperer within us is constant, strong, unshakable, and eternal.  We do not hear it with our ears, but we feel it in our hearts.

While we often feel the whispers, we don’t always listen. We have been taught not to trust our inner knowing but rather that we should plot each step of our lives carefully and then resist any change that would challenge our well-laid plans as if we are here by ourselves doing this completely alone.

But for a few of us who have questioned, who have trusted their inner knowing and who have broken from the conventional thereby sharing new possibilities.

From these courageous souls we learn…

— It is possible to live your truth…

— It is possible to overcome even the worst imaginable circumstances here on earth…

— It is possible to Love one another…

— It is possible that we are far more than we ever imagined, or that our human minds can comprehend…

It is possible for us to realize heaven here on earth right now if we will let go of our attachment to all that we have been taught up until now and seek wisdom from the great whisperer that lives within our own heart.

Rev. Michelle Rado, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Agoura Hills, California. Email:michelle @revrado.com
Website: http://www.revrado.org

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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