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Study of the Text 12-19-12

12-19-12
3 The Garden of Eden, or the pre-separation condition, was a state of mind in which nothing was needed. When Adam listened to the “lies of the serpent,” all he heard was untruth. You do not have to continue to believe what is not true unless you choose to do so. All that can literally disappear in the twinkling of an eye because it is merely a misperception. What is seen in dreams seems to be very real. Yet the Bible says that a deep sleep fell upon Adam, and nowhere is there reference to his waking up. The world has not yet experienced any comprehensive reawakening or rebirth. Such a rebirth is impossible as long as you continue to project or miscreate. It still remains within you, however, to extend as God extended His Spirit to you. In reality this is your only choice, because your free will was given you for your joy in creating the perfect.

Every time I listen to the thoughts of the ego mind and believe what I hear, I am Adam listening to the lies of the serpent. What the ego says to me over and over again is that I should be worried. I should be afraid. I am guilty. Then it says that it’s not my fault. It is his fault or her fault. The ego says that the world is real, my body is real and it is separate from every other body and every other thing. It says that not only am I separate from God, but that God is a threat and something to be avoided.

The ego says these things over and over in a thousand different ways every waking moment, and then it dreams of them all night. If I continue to believe these lies I will live in fear and regret. I will never let go of separation because I will believe I need my brother and the world to be separate so I can have someplace to project my guilt. I will never move toward God because I will be afraid of God. I will never create because I am so busy miscreating so that I can cover my tracks.

Do you wonder how to stop believing the lies when they seem so real, when you seem to have so much proof that they are real? Are you waiting for a sign? Are you looking for confirmation that the truth is true and nothing else is true? Are you asking the ego to show you this? Of course the ego will not, and if you are looking at the world for proof you are looking to the ego. The world is your proof against God. Do not look there for proof of God.

There was an Indiana Jones movie in which he desperately needed to cross a chasm. There seemed to be no way and the bad guys were fast approaching. His mind showed him that he was on one side and there was nothing but air and a long deadly fall between him and the other side. But he also had reason to believe that there was a path in spite of the emptiness his eyes were showing him. The only way to find out was to step out into the apparent emptiness.

It was a delicious moment of spine tingling suspense when he just closed his eyes and disregarded appearances. He stepped out into nothingness and put his foot down on a column rising from the floor of the cavern. It had not been visible to him until his foot touched it. He hesitated again and then stepped out on faith and as he put his foot down the next one appeared.

Again he hesitated, but as he was rewarded with another column to support him, his faith took him swiftly across. Each time his foot left the column it disappeared and when the bad guys caught up they were dumbfounded to see him on the other side with no apparent way to reach it.

This is it! This is the way it is done! I look at the world and I am so convinced that it is true, but the Course and the lessons in it have opened my mind to something else. I have allowed myself to believe in the “other side” and now I am putting my trust in what I cannot see to take me there. I am putting my foot forward and trusting that there is something to put it on. This is the only way to awaken. The proof that the truth is true comes from believing it, not from staring at the lie and waiting for it to reveal something else.

When the ego is desperate to regain my attention, the body becomes its fallback plan. Pain and sickness are good ways to make the world seem very real. But putting my foot out into apparent emptiness, I remember that Lesson 190 says that there is no pain. And if there is no pain, there is no sickness. I turn to that simple statement even as pain and sickness dog my heels. I turn to it even in the face of apparent proof.

The thought given me is that what is happening in the body cannot be real because the body is not real. I am reminded that there is nothing outside my mind. If nothing is outside my mind, then neither is this body outside my mind. It is only a thought I am having. I must be thinking of illness or pain for the thought of the body to be sick or in pain. And further, I must think there is some value in pain and sickness or I would not be doing this to myself. The column appears under my foot as I set it down. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of this obvious error in thinking.

The ego does not easily give up the belief in pain and sickness. This has always been its ace in the hole, the way it convinces me that the body is real. The ego mind warns me that if I stop believing in the body as real, I am giving up my hiding place and will soon find myself face to face with God and this will be deadly.

A Course in Miracles says that God loves me and that it is safe to return to Him. I decide to put my faith in these words instead of the ego story, and I put my foot down again and find I am still being supported. Crossing this chasm has been slow and tedious as I question and doubt each step, but there is nowhere to go but forward, and my perseverance has paid off. I move forward more certainly and more quickly now.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 12-18-12

12-18-12
2 These related distortions represent a picture of what actually occurred in the separation, or the “detour into fear.” None of this existed before the separation, nor does it actually exist now. Everything God created is like Him. Extension, as undertaken by God, is similar to the inner radiance that the children of the Father inherit from Him. Its real source is internal. This is as true of the Son as of the Father. In this sense the creation includes both the creation of the Son by God, and the Son’s creations when his mind is healed. This requires God’s endowment of the Son with free will, because all loving creation is freely given in one continuous line, in which all aspects are of the same order.

I like the way Jesus phrases our present experience. H calls it the separation, and the detour into fear, and later he calls it the tiny mad idea. I am relieved he doesn’t call it the unforgivable sin or the betrayal of God, or the last straw. However he describes it, he reminds us that in spite of how real it feels to us, it is only an illusion and never actually happened. He says this over and over in very clear and direct terms. Its amazing really, that we can read it over and over and still think it must mean something else.

I certainly spent a lot of time reading right over those words. Maybe I didn’t want to embarrass Jesus by pointing out his obvious error. ~smile~ I continued to look at the seeming proof that my story of pain and suffering was reality and that Jesus was delusional. Happy to say that my apparent mental confusion is a temporary illness and I seem to be recovering. I have not flung God from His throne, and reality has not abdicated to fantasy.

No matter how long I sit huddled within myself, quaking in fear and planning my defenses, God is still love and nothing else exists except in my fevered imagination. I detoured into fear, but I have an internal guide to direct me to the straight and narrow path Home. Thus forward when I speak of being afraid or of anger and guilt, and when I am uncertain or doubtful, when I shake at the thought of death, could one of you give me a gentle shake? I still tend to fall back to sleep now and again.

When my mind is clear I know I am the Son of God, the Son of Love. I know that only Love exists and so I must be Love as well. I know that I am whole, complete, and lacking nothing. I know that I have never left this state and that there is nowhere for me to go, nothing I need do, and no effort is needed to be me. Does an apple try to be an apple? God help me to obtain the clarity of an apple.

In spite of the clarity that I have gained, periodically my mind clouds and for a bit I think Reality has been set on its head by my imaginings, and momentarily I become confused and frightened again.  The lovely thing is, once the awakening begins, the forays into darkness are shorter and less frightening because the light I have uncovered never completely dims and I see my way back so much more easily.

Holy Spirit, I know I am the one wandering off the path, but I am also the one calling for salvation. When I become confused, please give me clarity. When I become afraid, please help me to see there could never be anything to fear. When I feel anger or disappointment at someone or something, point me inward. When I forget that eternal life is the only truth and I feel loss, comfort me and help me regain my vision.

Now that I have opened my eyes and see the words you gave me, Jesus, I can never again be fully blind. I see, if only dimly, and the joy of that vision will not be denied. God created me and creation moves in one continuous line. I am like my creator and my creations, when my mind is healed, are like my Father’s creations.

There does not in all of creation exist anything that is not Love. What ever I see or think I see can be easily categorized as real or not real. No other description need concern me. No other action needs my attention. “Here it is, Holy Spirit, this belief, this seeming thing, or person or situation. Is it true? If not, please heal my vision.” How free I am! Thank you, God. I love you God.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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A Morning Prayer and an Opportunity to Use It

My mind is full of prayer this morning. Father, as I do this work, please help me to remember that there is nothing outside my mind and therefore all healing is done in my mind. Please help me to resist the desire to find someone else to blame and to remember that there is no one else.

Amen

I had an opportunity to put this prayer to work early this morning. Right before I left for work my brother called me to say he had bad news. I bought a house recently and there were a few things to do to get it ready to move in. One of those things was to replace the roof. My brother has been overseeing the projects and he got the shingles and other things needed for a roof delivered to my house at 9AM on Saturday. At 10AM the roofers showed up to work through the weekend, and the tiles were gone. In that one hour in broad daylight someone had stolen them. So I have to buy them all over again. I think its around $2500-3000.

After the initial surprise I realized that someone took my money but my peace is not for sale. I cannot change what has happened and I’m not going to worry about it. It will work out. Shortly later as I was leaving for work, I was closing the door behind me and looked back to see the things in my house. I had the thought that someone could take them, too. I cannot live like that. There is nothing in my home that is worth my peace. I let that go, too.

As I thought about having to buy the shingles again, I had a couple of stressful feelings that I gave to the Holy Spirit. I asked that He heal my mind and that He tell me what He wants me to know about this. The thought that came to me is that as long as I hold the belief in loss and lack in my mind this kind of thing will continue to happen. A belief held in the mind is like a prayer and all prayers are answered. So I asked that my mind be healed of the belief in anything that God did not create and He did not create lack or loss. 

I could easily have seen this situation as something done to me by someone else. I could have seen myself as a victim and the thief as guilty. I am so glad I began the morning with this prayer. It was like a beacon light that guided my mind to the helpful answer.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 12-17-12

Father, as I do this work, please help me to remember that there is nothing outside my mind and therefore all healing is done in my mind. Please help me to resist the desire to find someone else to blame and to remember that there is no one else.

Amen

12-17-12

Chapter 2: THE SEPARATION AND THE ATONEMENT

I. The Origins of Separation

1 To extend is a fundamental aspect of God which He gave to His Son. In the creation, God extended Himself to His creations and imbued them with the same loving Will to create. You have not only been fully created, but have also been created perfect. There is no emptiness in you. Because of your likeness to your Creator you are creative. No child of God can lose this ability because it is inherent in what he is, but he can use it inappropriately by projecting. The inappropriate use of extension, or projection, occurs when you believe that some emptiness or lack exists in you, and that you can fill it with your own ideas instead of truth. This process involves the following steps:

First, you believe that what God created can be changed by your own mind.

Second, you believe that what is perfect can be rendered imperfect or lacking.

Third, you believe that you can distort the creations of God, including yourself.

Fourth, you believe that you can create yourself, and that the direction of your own creation is up to you.

What a very clear explanation. I am created perfect and so am a perfect creator which means I create through the extension of what I am. This ability is inviolate. It cannot be lost. But I can also project Projection is the inappropriate use of my powers of creation. This occurs when I believe lack exists in me (even though I cannot lack because that would mean I was not a perfect creation) and I try to fill that emptiness with my own ideas instead of truth.

(I note that these points Jesus makes about my beliefs are not things I could believe or might believe or sometimes believe, or that my neighbor believes but I don’t. He says very clearly; you believe. It won’t be helpful to the healing of my mind if I go back into denial.)

This seems very strange and not really possible. I mean, I am perfect, and I am a creator. And yet, I have forgotten how to create, and use my powers to project instead. I do this because I feel empty and yet I cannot be empty. I think I have a better idea than God and so I try to fill up the imaginary emptiness with my own ideas of what things are and how they should be. Its all a mess and I feel guilty and afraid of what I have done, afraid to keep doing it and afraid to stop.

I feel a little better now because I am receiving an explanation for what happened and a way to undo what I have done. I am discovering that the truth is in my mind and has always been there. I am allowing that truth to be uncovered and to rise to the level of conscious awareness. I am grateful for the following explanation.

First I believe that what God created can be changed by my own mind. This must be the source of the deep well of unconscious guilt that keeps fueling the apparent guilt in my life. I think that I have singlehandedly undone God. Jeepers creepers! What a belief! I want to let this go but I keep getting distracted by all the apparent proof I have that this is true.

That proof shows me that I really have undone God and made myself different. I have distorted creation and am now in charge. Just look at the killing of those little kindergarteners. Either God did it or I did it in spite of God. Either way I am totally creeped out and don’t want to think about it.

There is a place in me that, while outwardly denied, is certain that this is not the work of God. If this is my work, my “creation” I messed up badly and so now I want to jump in and make it better. I suspect I feel desperate to make up for it. I have projected this bit of drama and now I further project by making it someone else’s fault.

This confused part of mind is probably very glad right about now that it thought to make a lot of bodies on which to project. It’s those self-centered gun mongers who are at fault. It’s the makers of the violent video games, the lack of funds for more mental health care, or maybe we should just lock up all the loonies before they get a chance to hurt anyone. One newscaster suggested we start keeping an eye on our neighbors for signs of aberrant behavior. (According to what is considered normal in our world, I’ll probably be the first one they take in.)

And so I have believed that what God created can be changed by my own mind. And because I believe it I see it as if it is real. I believe that what is perfect can be rendered imperfect or lacking. And because I believe it I interpret everything I see as not only real, but imperfect and lacking. I believe that I can distort the creations of God, including myself. And because I believe it, I seem to be distorted and my brothers even more so, and I provide, through my beliefs, all the proof you could want. And obviously, I believe that I can create myself, and that the direction of my own creation is up to me.

I also suspect that I don’t want to give up all this “power” to miscreate, and that I think giving it up would be a sacrifice. I am obviously very confused but I see signs that this is true. Thinking of this is very scary because I don’t see an acceptable way out of it and at the same time I see myself getting in deeper and deeper as the world goes to hell in a hand basket. Thank God for Voice in my mind that is leading me gently from my delusions back to truth.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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On the Killing of the Kindergarten Children

From yesterday: I fully and without exception accept responsibility for the whole world. I did this, and it is I who must undo it. I am not guilty for it and I have lots of help from my brothers who have already gone before me.

And so today as I think about the children killed at their school, I accept responsibility. We are one. We share the same mind. I contribute to the beliefs that are then projected onto the world as form. This man who killed his mom and then brought the guns to her school and shot those children and adults is an image, a projection of the angry, fearful and insane separation thoughts that live in the mind because they are supported by my continued belief in them.

I am not guilty for this, I am simply responsible for it. The way to end the slaughter of children is to heal my own mind. Is it a tragedy? In time, yes, it is. That is why Jesus wants us to end time. This is why we are here on this page, studying this book, practicing it’s lessons and watching our minds for the separation thoughts that keep time in place, and support the insanity of the ego thinking. We do this so that we can heal the one mind.

I’m clear on this. Here is what I find happening in my mind this morning. I feel very sad for the families of the shooter and the children. I notice that I still believe the world is real, because I cry when I think of them. This will take care of itself as I continue to do the work.

I notice as I read the postings on Facebook this morning that I want to step into the world and fix this problem with gun control. It just makes sense to me in so many ways, and seems to be supported by the facts. Then I remember that while this may or may not be true, it is not where I want to put my energy.

I can never fix the world within the world. I cannot control who has a gun or who does not. I cannot keep the more insane of us from acting on their distorted perceptions. I cannot gather all the children and safeguard them. And even if I could, I still would not do that. There is nothing outside my mind. All healing takes place in my mind and only in my mind, and as I accept the Atonement for myself, I do it for my brothers and sisters as well, just as Jesus did it for us.

We all suffer today with the families directly involved in this awful thing. We suffer with them because we are one with them. They are the expressions of our own fears and our belief in loss, in suffering and death. But in the midst of all this suffering, we are surrounded by angels who come to comfort us. May the families of the children and adults killed yesterday, and the family of the man who killed them, feel the love and comfort that is being offered them.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 12-14-12

12-14-12
5 A solid foundation is necessary because of the confusion between fear and awe to which I have already referred, and which is often made. I have said that awe is inappropriate in connection with the Sons of God, because you should not experience awe in the presence of your equals. However, it was also emphasized that awe is proper in the Presence of your Creator. I have been careful to clarify my role in the Atonement without either over- or understating it. I am also trying to do the same with yours. I have stressed that awe is not an appropriate reaction to me because of our inherent equality. Some of the later steps in this course, however, involve a more direct approach to God Himself. It would be unwise to start on these steps without careful preparation, or awe will be confused with fear, and the experience will be more traumatic than beatific. Healing is of God in the end. The means are being carefully explained to you. Revelation may occasionally reveal the end to you, but to reach it the means are needed.

Sigh. We are truly in a state of confusion that we need Jesus to take such pains to explain to us our relationship with each other, with him and with God, and that it is further necessary that he tell us the appropriate response to each. My brothers and I are equal in every way and therefore it would be inappropriate that we look with awe on anyone. I look on certain of my brothers and sisters with deep gratitude because of their devotion to this work and I look to some for guidance because they have stepped forward to a place I have not yet gone. But never is awe appropriate.

I think I love Jesus more than I have ever loved him because I understand that I am not to look with awe on him. Like most folks with a religious background, this came as a surprise to me and I was, for awhile, uncomfortable with this lack of “respect” for Jesus. I understand differently now. I love Jesus because he is my brother. I respect him and am grateful to him because he has gone before us and made the path clear. My gratitude to him for this is immense, but it is not awe. I am devoted to Jesus because he is devoted to me.

I said that I love Jesus more now that I am not in awe of him, and this is because I do still confuse awe with fear. I have, through the study of the Course and the practice of it, uncovered a deep and abiding love for God, but there is still much fear covering that love. I can truthfully get in touch with that love only rarely, but kept this a secret from myself. For a long time I said that I didn’t understand all this talk about fear of God.

Then as I studied the Course I understood the theory; I must fear God because I am still here when I could be with Him instead. I even understood the reason for the fear, the underlying unconscious guilt for my attack on God. I mean, who wouldn’t be afraid when you think about attacking God by withdrawing yourself from Him and leaving Him less than He was? And then I realized I am still doing it, doing it every day as I see myself differently than He created me, as I choose ego over God. And yet, I didn’t feel a lot of fear, and this is scary for me to admit, I didn’t really feel love either.

Eventually, I realized that I was hiding the fear of God from myself because I just couldn’t face it.  It was too horrifying to allow myself to see the fear of God, and thus to look at my own perceived guilt. This is the reason I have become such an excellent projecting machine; I have learned to make all sorts of experiences the cause of my guilt, and nearly anybody can become the holder of my guilt. I am so good at this that the interchange is seamless and fools even me.

I began to look, really look, at my plan to avoid guilt and to avoid God, by doing the lessons and practicing what Jesus gave me through the Course. I allowed my willingness to grow and became more accepting of the truth. I let more light into my darkened mind. I learned that to accept responsibility for everything was not the same as being guilty for it, and this opened the door to more freedom to explore what actually happened and what I could do about it.

I have come a long way. I fully and without exception accept responsibility for the whole world. I did this, and it is I who must undo it. I am not guilty for it and I have lots of help from my brothers who have already gone before me. I am sometimes still confused about my guilt, but I accept it as well, and am happy to see an opportunity to let more of it go. I also recognize that none of this is personal and it is done for the whole. Personal is just another word for separation.

Something really big is happening now. (Sorry, Jesus. I know there are no levels and no degrees but I am sure you will forgive me for my distorted perception if you remember the first time this happened to you.) I have been going deliberately toward God. In the past I have been working on the blocks to Love’s presence and skirting God while I did it. Now I am asking to be brought before God. My friend did it first, and that helped push me over the invisible line I had drawn.

I have had a taste, just the tiniest taste of being in the presence of God. It feels like… well, what can I say? But definitely feels. It is all about feeling and, oh my dear God, what a feeling! I wanted to stay in it so bad, but how could one function in the world in that state? Why would anyone even want to? And once I moved out of it, I wanted it back, but I also didn’t want it back. I think that reluctance is the fear of God which still exists in my mind. After all, if I couldn’t continue to exist as before, wouldn’t that mean “I” would not exist? Common sense tells me that this is insane reasoning but evidently I’m not entirely interested in sanity.

I am encouraged, though, with each bit of success, each rare moment of touching God. I suspect that my experience is nothing compared to the real thing and a part of my mind longs so deeply for the experience that I cry to think of not having it right now. I’m just waiting for the rest of my mind to catch up. As Jesus tells us in this paragraph, “Revelation may occasionally reveal the end to you, but to reach it the means are needed.” So I continue to do the work that will bring me to the end.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 12-13-12

12-13-12
4 This is a course in mind training. All learning involves attention and study at some level. Some of the later parts of the course rest too heavily on these earlier sections not to require their careful study. You will also need them for preparation. Without this, you may become much too fearful of what is to come to make constructive use of it. However, as you study these earlier sections, you will begin to see some of the implications that will be amplified later on.

I think that sometimes people have some confusion around the idea we read later in the Course which says that “You need do nothing.” It is true that we need do nothing to be who we really are. We are divine beings, children of God and heirs to all that is God. That is a done deal and needs nothing from us. However, there is quite a bit of work we need to do to remember that this is true, to let go of all the ideas we have put in the place of truth. There is much we need to do to reach a state of full willingness to accept the truth.

Jesus did a bang up job on putting this Course together. He gave us an excellent text that begins with these very important chapters. I remember when I started reading the Text that I was absolutely intrigued with what I found here, but that it seemed a bit disjointed, and seemed to be often jumping around from topic to topic right in the middle of a paragraph. Later it smoothed out and became beautiful to read.

However, now that I am going back and reading carefully from a fuller understanding, I realize that these first few chapters are giving us the basic information for the Course. One reason it didn’t always make sense to me is because I did not at first understand how it all comes together. Now I see that it is actually perfect, and I know that the Course is written in kind of a spiral of information. It comes back to the central ideas repeatedly and each time goes deeper and adds more information.

As Jesus says, this is a course in mind training. My mind has been systematically trained to believe that everything my eyes are showing me is true, and nothing else is true. I’ve been trained to believe that I am small and separate and very vulnerable, and that I must always be on the defense because it’s a matter of me or them. Now with A Course in Miracles, everything I have ever believed is being turned upside down. My mind needs to be trained differently to accept and use what I am being given. Without this training I will not be able to experience my life differently and having glimpsed something better but not having access to it, I will be more confused and distressed than before.

I have been using A Course in Miracles for a long time now, but I it has taken me quite awhile to fully absorb what it says and even longer to put it to work in my life on a consistent basis. It was only in the last twelve years that I have made what I have learned through the Course my single unified purpose. Using this information in my life, practicing it every single day in every circumstance without exception, is the way my life has changed. I have always been the Son of God, perfect, powerful, loving and beloved. Now I am beginning to believe that and to act like it is true.

Doing this study of the Text, paragraph by paragraph, and sharing it with those who are also ready to wake up, is helping me move more completely into the truth of who I am. Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found this information and to have made that choice to put it to work in my life. I think how easy it would have been those years ago to have missed this opportunity. Actually, considering the mess I was, it’s an obvious miracle that I did choose to study the Course.

But then, it could not have happened any other way. This is my story, my script, and while it seems I am making it all happening, I am really just watching it unfold, and choosing how I feel about it. I don’t know why I bother to read fiction or watch movies. Life is the most extraordinary and interesting story out there. I can hardly wait to see what happens in the next moment. Whatever it is, I am learning to say yes to it. I am learning to trust the writer of the script and to know that it, whatever it looks like, it is there to support my awakening, or to let me continue to dream, whichever I choose. I am safe and I am free.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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