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Study of the Text 5-24-13

5-24-13
10 Peace is a natural heritage of spirit. Everyone is free to refuse to accept his inheritance, but he is not free to establish what his inheritance is. The problem everyone must decide is the fundamental question of authorship. All fear comes ultimately, and sometimes by way of very devious routes, from the denial of Authorship. The offense is never to God, but only to those who deny Him. To deny His Authorship is to deny yourself the reason for your peace, so that you see yourself only in segments. This strange perception is the authority problem.

This is good news, indeed! What I understand from reading this paragraph is that I am free to deny the truth of who I am. I can pretend that I am not the free and perfect Son of God. I can do this all day long for as long as I can stand the pain. It is not a sin and God is not offended. It changes nothing and so no harm is done. Who I am is unassailable. I can deny my Self, but I cannot change my Self.

All fear and guilt are derived from the misunderstanding that I am free to change what God has done. He created me but I think that because I am having an imaginary experience of being something else that I have authored myself. I think I have undone what God has done and that I have re-created my self. Now I am my own creator.

It’s easy to see why I believe that. I am so immersed in this story of separation that I believe it is true. I think I am Myron and that I really am this fragile body living this uncertain existence, doomed to die and who knows what happens after that, if anything. And yet, I have an ancient memory that persists. It is the source of all the God stories that just won’t die, and it is the source of the persistent hope for something better.

What keeps the complete truth from my mind is the fear that although I was once beloved of God my sins have made me unworthy. Since I seemed to be this person, and this proves I succeeded in becoming my own creator, then my assault on God must be real as well. My guilt and fear of what I have done keep me trapped in my story, the prodigal son afraid to return home.

But none of that is true. I cannot create myself. I cannot undo what God has done. I cannot offend God. God is not judgmental or vengeful. Those are projections from the separated mind. Those are ego beliefs that I have put on God. When I “re-created” myself, I also “re-created” God in my image, making Him the fallible being I see myself to be. Thank you, God, that neither thing can be true! God remains God, pure unadulterated Love, and I remain His sinless Son.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-23-13

5-23-13
9 Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible. You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it. Fortunately, to lose something does not mean that it has gone. It merely means that you do not remember where it is. Its existence does not depend on your ability to identify it, or even to place it. It is possible to look on reality without judgment and merely know that it is there.

What a neat paragraph this is!

Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible.

No wonder I still feel rejectable! I have the belief in rejection in my mind, so I project stories of rejection. I see someone I disapprove of and I have rejected that person. I see an action I judge as wrong and I have rejected it. Each time I reject, I strengthen the belief that rejection is real and important. I increase the value I place on my right to reject. Spend today noticing the obvious and subtle ways you reject today and you will see what I mean.

Because all our weapons of attack are double edged, it will slice both ways and I will project stories that prove I, too, am rejected. Because I have taught myself to believe in rejection, I will believe the stories that seem to prove I have been rejected, even when the proof is flimsy. Understanding this, I am going to be very alert for my tendency to judge and reject. This is not a belief I want to strengthen in my mind.

I am grateful to remember that it is not my job to eradicate the belief in rejection, or even to control my urge to reject. It is only my job to notice when I am rejecting and to realize this is a belief that has no truth to it. God is not rejection so rejection cannot exist. I made it up as part of the whole separation experiment. I am ready to choose again and I do so by asking the Holy Spirit to undo what I have done. When I have been healed of this false belief, there will be no more rejection in my mind to project onto the story of Myron. Won’t that be a nifty turn of events!

You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it.

The second thing I love about this paragraph is that I am reminded that I have not actually done anything to feel guilty about. I have not really usurped the power of God. It is patently absurd to believe I ever could have done this, but in believing I had done so, I scared the bejeesus out of myself.

I am so awash in guilt and shame that I cannot even think straight anymore. This guilt is so intense that it cannot be borne and so is denied, but along with the guilt the reason for the guilt is denied as well. I can’t find most of this unconscious guilt because I buried it so deeply in my mind that it is lost to me. But as I have lost conscious awareness of the guilt, I have also lost conscious awareness of the power of God.

The good news is twofold. First, guilt does not exist. It is part of the separation idea. We made up guilt and we can allow it to be undone for us. We don’t need to get in touch with that deep well of unconscious guilt in order to do that. As long as we continue to forgive as much of the guilt as we can, the rest will be done for us.

The second piece of good news is that while we can “lose” our awareness of the power of God, it does not actually go anywhere. I will find it when I want it. I will want it when I am no longer afraid of it. I will no longer be afraid of it when I forgive the idea of guilt. It is simple to forgive guilt. However, the ego mind absolutely believes in guilt. It is made of guilt and will not give up the idea easily. But it is still simple to do it.

I notice guilt in the mind, all guilt, regardless of the direction it points, toward another or toward my self. I realize that guilt is not in God and so it cannot be in me. I agree to be healed of this belief and I accept that healing. Notice a pattern here? ~smile~ When you get serious about this forgiveness work with guilt, don’t be surprised if the ego part of your mind fights you on this. It will try to prove guilt with its stories. Don’t believe them. They are pure fiction.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-22-13

5-22-13
8 The issue of authority is really a question of authorship. When you have an authority problem, it is always because you believe you are the author of yourself and project your delusion onto others. You then perceive the situation as one in which others are literally fighting you for your authorship. This is the fundamental error of all those who believe they have usurped the power of God. This belief is very frightening to them, but hardly troubles God. He is, however, eager to undo it, not to punish His children, but only because He knows that it makes them unhappy. God’s creations are given their true Authorship, but you prefer to be anonymous when you choose to separate yourself from your Author. Being uncertain of your true Authorship, you believe that your creation was anonymous. This leaves you in a position where it sounds meaningful to believe that you created yourself. The dispute over authorship has left such uncertainty in your mind that it may even doubt whether you really exist at all.

When I first read this it made me very uneasy, to the point that I did not allow myself to understand it even though it is pretty clear. I am more accepting of it now. Clearly, I have confused myself about my identity. I was created by God and so am like God. I decided to play with the idea that I am different and so imagined a self that was unlike God. I made up a self, decided it was me, and in so doing, imagined I was the creator of my self. This was confusing and frightening and so I projected this delusion onto others. Now it is really confusing and even more frightening because I seem always to be fighting for authorship.

What kind of self have I made? I am a fragile body, separated from all other bodies and every thing around me, living in a point in space and time. I have adventures in which I seem to be in danger, and I have to figure how to survive. I give my self exciting moments and fun moments, and moments of exquisite happiness, but behind even these moments is the uncertainty that is inevitable within the constraints chosen for this existence, which is mortality. Eventually I run out of options, and I die. It sounds like a video game and is no more meaningful.

I made up certain concepts that drive the story and describe its parameters. There is loss, lack, guilt, and fear. Everything that happens in this world is motivated and described by one of these concepts. I have many stories based on loss. I lose a friend to death, I lose a job to the economy. I don’t have enough money, I lack friends, good health, someone to love. I feel guilty for everything, for what I did and what I failed to do. I am afraid all of this will catch up to me and I will be punished.

How do I project this onto others? I made this. I made the whole world as I experience it and I am afraid of what I have done. I am uneasy with the self I made so I try to make others responsible. When my chosen story goes awry, I look for the cause of my failure in those around me. A friend dies and I say that it is God’s Will. I lose my job and I place the blame on my boss or the uncaring company I work for. A relationship goes awry and I blame my partner and look for a better one.

So what has happened is that I am in constant siege over my authorship. I battle God Who thinks He made me like Himself, as I insist that I am weak, frail, beleaguered and mortal. I battle other people who I have blamed for causing me to act in certain ways and thus seem to be defining who I am. I am left in in such confusion about my authorship that I don’t know who I am or even if I exist at all. 

God’s love for us is unwavering. He does not judge us wrong for our choices. The fear that He does, and that we will be punished, is a concept we made up. In truth, God wants only our happiness. This is why He created a Guide and a Comforter and placed It in our mind. We are given the way out of our predicament. We are given a way to undo what we have done.

As we choose to forgive the world we made and the idea that we are our own creator, the Holy Spirit acts on our behalf to undo the world. Now that I am ready to wake up from this absurd dream, I notice when I am living a guilt story and remember that guilt is a concept I made up. I notice how unhappy I am when I feel guilty or when I project guilt. I choose again by asking the Holy Spirit to heal the belief in my mind that guilt is real and has real effects.

I do the same with the other concepts I made up. I continue to undo the world in this way until I am free of the suffering that comes from being confused about my authorship. God is the Author and I am His creation. This is what I am remembering as I allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. Each time I let go of a wrong minded belief, my mind clears a little more and I am beginning to lose interest in playing at being my own creator.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-21-13

5-21-13
7 I have spoken of different symptoms, and at that level there is almost endless variation. There is, however, only one cause for all of them: the authority problem. This is “the root of all evil.” Every symptom the ego makes involves a contradiction in terms, because the mind is split between the ego and the Holy Spirit, so that whatever the ego makes is incomplete and contradictory. This untenable position is the result of the authority problem which, because it accepts the one inconceivable thought as its premise, can produce only ideas that are inconceivable.

As a Son of God it is inconceivable that I could be angry, sad, depressed, jealous, fearful, or any of the other symptoms that I have experienced. And yet, I seem to be all of these things at one time or another. It is inconceivable that the Son of God could be sick, could suffer and then die. And yet, that seems to be the inevitable fate of us all. How can both of these things be true? How can it be that I am experiencing the inconceivable?

They cannot both be true. Either I am still as God created me, or I am something different. I cannot be something different so I must still be as God created me. If I seem to be different, I must be dreaming. If I am dreaming, then I want to wake up. I keep thinking of the movie, Inception, a movie of dreams, within dreams, within dreams.

This is what is happening to me. I am dreaming, and dreaming of dreaming, and now I will dream of waking up. In my dream of waking up, I have discovered, not only that I am dreaming, but also the source of the dream stories. The thoughts in the sleeping mind, the things that I believe to be true, make the world I dream of. In my dream, I have discovered the way out of the confusion. It seems I have a Guide.

I am learning to watch for those thoughts and let them be changed for me by my Guide. I am learning to ask for direction, and to ask for clarification. I am too confused to make decisions on my own and I need help, which I receive from my Guide. Through following that Guide, that I call the Holy Spirit, I am learning that I can have a better dream, a happier dream, and eventually, to wake up from the dream.

As it turns out, this is pretty simple. There are sign posts that I watch for to know if I am dreaming with my Holy Spirit, or if I am trying to dream alone. If I am afraid or guilty, if I feel shame or loss, these are signs that, in my confusion, I have turned away from my Guide and am trying to navigate this dream on my own again.

The stories I dream are compelling. They feel so real and are often so urgent, so critical, that I dare not turn my back on them. I need to be there, to be doing something. I need to make something happen. The need for action is so fierce, the need for vengeance and retaliation, for defense and attack, so real that I forget I am only dreaming. I forget how inconceivable it is that I, the Son of God, could be attacked, could be endangered.

I used to think that there was something to be gained from being on my own, finding my own way back, succeeding without help. I was like a little child who insisted on doing it by myself even though it was beyond my capability. And like a little child, I sometimes stubbornly insist that this is my story and I am in charge of it, and I don’t want to give it up. But I am learning that it is not truly my will that I be lost in this dream forever, and that it is my will that the Holy Spirit guide me out of it.

Technically, waking up from the story is the easy part. I acknowledge that I am 100% responsible for what seems to be happening in my dream. I decide to choose differently, and ask for help. I admit that I don’t know the solution or how to get there, but that I am willing to follow. I accept the help given me. That is all there is to it. I don’t have to do anything or figure anything out. It’s as simple as one, two three.  I did it. I change my mind. I accept correction. That’s it!

The sleeping mind likes its stories and its dramas and the part of me still engaged in this dream doesn’t always want to give it up. It will insist that this dream is different than that dream. Dreaming of death is far more serious than dreaming of a new relationship, for instance. The mind sees the dream of death as needing a different solution from the solution needed in relationship changes.

It finds the idea that the solution is always the same to be ludicrous. The stories are so different and some are much bigger deals than other stories. How could it be that the answer is always the same? That the solution to its carefully crafted dramas to be so simple, the mind finds insulting, and resists it fiercely.

This is why it takes a lot of practice to learn to trust the Holy Spirit implicitly. I made up my own dream. I believed in it. I loved it and wanted to keep it. Because who I am is not diminished even by my denial of the truth, the power of creation makes the illusion seem so real. But there is the truth in my mind and it calls to me.

In using each story as an opportunity to remember what the truth wants me to know, I am losing my taste for dreams. And I have learned it really is that easy to wake up. It just isn’t always so easy to want to wake up. But it’s getting easier and it is the daily practice that makes this so.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-20-13

5-20-13
6 God offers only mercy. Your words should reflect only mercy, because that is what you have received and that is what you should give. Justice is a temporary expedient, or an attempt to teach you the meaning of mercy. It is judgmental only because you are capable of injustice.

I wanted to be sure I understood this simple paragraph. I looked up mercy and it said compassion and I looked up justice and it means fairness. So I am told that I should have compassion for because I receive compassion. It also told me that I am being taught the meaning of compassion through fair treatment. This is a temporary measure involving judgment, but only because I believe in unfairness.

How do I use this in my life? The example that comes to me is not about another person, but about compassion and fairness to myself. Yesterday, I had more free time than I normally do. I spent it walking in the park, watching a little TV, and reading a novel. I enjoyed my day for the most part, though I worried a little that I was wasting time.

This morning I am back to being busy and as soon as I am through with my journaling, will get dressed for work and the week will have little free time in it to catch up on paper work, writing and other things I can only do when I squeeze a little time from the weekend. Watching my thoughts, I notice that I feel guilty and foolish for not using my free time to do those things that really needed doing.

I realize, as I watch my thoughts, that I think I am guilty for my behavior and that I will be punished by not having free time because I misused it and proved I don’t deserve it. I am not being compassionate to myself. I have tried myself in the ego court of law and judged myself guilty and deserving of punishment. This is why I must learn to be merciful and just.

The Holy Spirit is not judging me and berating me for my lack of industry this weekend. Those are thoughts from the ego mind. As I listen to the Voice for God I am assured that there is no shortage of time and that God does not judge me according to how much I get done. I receive nothing from God except Love and that love is not conditional on anything I do or fail to do.

The Holy Spirit looks at my thoughts with me, and He is compassionate to me because he understands why I feel like this. He knows the ego is merciless and unfair and that I believe its judgment of me. But He also knows that none of this is real and that I remain innocent as the day I was created regardless of the ego beliefs, and regardless of my behavior.

I am presented with two entirely opposed thoughts; the ego, which I made finds me guilty, and the Holy Spirit, which is the Voice for God, finds me innocent. This is always the case and it is always my choice, which one I believe. Mercifully, I choose the Holy Spirit as my Guide and put my faith in His judgment.

As I accept the Holy Spirit’s judgment, my mind is healed and I am at peace. Instead of worrying that I should have written that article and done something with that stack of receipts, I am grateful for the restful day I had. Instead of thinking that I don’t know when I am going to get time to do these things, I wait with curiosity and happy anticipation to see how life will arrange itself to make time for me to do what needs to be done. 

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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