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Study of the Text Healing and Wholeness Introduction, Paragraph 2   9-19-13

Chapter 5 Introduction, Paragraph 2
9-19-13
2 To be wholehearted you must be happy. If fear and love cannot coexist, and if it is impossible to be wholly fearful and remain alive, the only possible whole state is that of love. There is no difference between love and joy. Therefore, the only possible whole state is the wholly joyous. To heal or to make joyous is therefore the same as to integrate and to make one. That is why it makes no difference to what part or by what part of the Sonship the healing is offered. Every part benefits, and benefits equally.

Oh boy, I love this! First, lack of joy is a marker, a way I can tell if there is mind healing work to be done. My goal always is to return my mind to wholeness and joy is the only completely whole state so it is a good indicator as to what needs to be done next. Or rather the lack of joy is that indicator, and joy is the indicator that I have been doing my healing work, that I have chosen love over fear.

The second thing I enjoyed reading in this paragraph is that it does not matter what part of the Sonship heals or is healed. It is for all, everyone benefits. I knew that but I like seeing it here, reminding me and reassuring me. I am so very grateful every time I hear one of my brothers doing their own work because I know that means I am being lifted up right along with them.

It also means that if I see someone else acting out of their ego, I can heal that belief in my own mind and it is done for both of us. Or as Jesus says, I can accept the Atonement on behalf of my brother. In this way I am completely responsible for everything. If it is in my awareness it is there for me to heal it.  If my friend becomes angry when she sees a homeless person asking for money, maybe my ego wants to judge her for her lack of compassion.

However, the other choice is to recognize the lack of compassion in my own mind and to ask that my mind be healed. There. It is done. As it turns out I didn’t need to school my friend, I just needed to accept the Atonement for myself for this to be healed. As I continue to accept total responsibility and to heal whatever is in my awareness without regard to “ownership” I begin to fully integrate the fact that there is no separation, that we are, indeed, all one, and that all healing benefits all equally.

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Study of the Text Chapter 5: HEALING AND WHOLENESS Introduction 9-18-13

Chapter 5: HEALING AND WHOLENESS
Introduction
1 To heal is to make happy. I have told you to think how many opportunities you have had to gladden yourself, and how many you have refused. This is the same as telling you that you have refused to heal yourself. The light that belongs to you is the light of joy. Radiance is not associated with sorrow. Joy calls forth an integrated willingness to share it, and promotes the mind’s natural impulse to respond as one. Those who attempt to heal without being wholly joyous themselves call forth different kinds of responses at the same time, and thus deprive others of the joy of responding wholeheartedly.

Yikes, I’m feeling the pressure! ~smile~ My job is to be wholly joyous and to fall short of that goal means I am not the healer I might be otherwise. If I am not joyous it means I have failed to accept healing for myself, and if I am not wholly joyous then when I attempt healing of others the results will vary. I will not be asking for only healing, but for something else as well.

This makes sense. I have noticed that when I pray for someone who is suffering from a confusion that is mine as well, then my prayer lacks conviction. For instance, if someone is asking me to support them as they attempt to release their fear of losing their job, and I suffer from the same fear, my prayer will not be pure. I think of it this way. All thought is prayer. We are praying continuously, praying without ceasing.

So, because I want to support my friend as she heals her mind, my thoughts are like this. My friend has nothing to worry about. God is her Source, not the job she thinks she needs. God loves her and wants only her happiness. She is safe in God. It is never God’s Will that she suffer. But, because I still carry a fear of lack and loss, her fear triggers mine, and so I also have thoughts that reflect my own fears.

Maybe it will trigger a memory of a customer that is not happy with his service and my fear that he will look elsewhere before we can fix his problem. I am thus praying that fear and loss not be true, and at the same time praying that it is true. I am holding two opposing thoughts in my mind and thus two opposing prayers, and a conflicted mind is neither effective nor happy. This is why when I pray for someone it usually takes the form of asking that my mind be healed of the untrue belief my friend is holding. In this way I will be praying the most effective prayer I can at this time.

I can also attest to the fact that the more my mind is healed the happier I am. I become less than happy as I allow the ego mind to run me. I am really focused right now on healing my relationships. I understand that the way Home is through my brother, and that any grievance that stands between me and my brother also stands between me and Heaven.

Because I know this is true, I want all relationships in my life to be healed and so this is what is coming up for me. I am seeing all the places that they are not healed. Seeing the issues can be very uncomfortable and this discomfort is not joyous. However, seeing the issues is only the first step. As I recognize them and decide against them, they are healed and my joy increases. Doing this consistently has taught me that a healed mind is synonymous with joy.

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Study of the Text   VII. Creation and Communication, Paragraph 8 9-17-13

VII. Creation and Communication, Paragraph 8
9-16-13
8 God is praised whenever any mind learns to be wholly helpful. This is impossible without being wholly harmless, because the two beliefs must coexist. The truly helpful are invulnerable, because they are not protecting their egos and so nothing can hurt them. Their helpfulness is their praise of God, and He will return their praise of Him because they are like Him, and they can rejoice together. God goes out to them and through them, and there is great joy throughout the Kingdom. Every mind that is changed adds to this joy with its individual willingness to share in it. The truly helpful are God’s miracle workers, whom I direct until we are all united in the joy of the Kingdom. I will direct you to wherever you can be truly helpful, and to whoever can follow my guidance through you.

To be wholly helpful and wholly harmless, what a worthy goal that is! I am often helpful and usually harmless, but I desire to always be helpful and harmless. I know that I cannot do this through changing my behavior and my words. I become wholly helpful and harmless through noticing when I am not that and accepting the Atonement, thus allowing my mind to be healed. A healed mind could be nothing but helpful and harmless.

I imagine what it is like to live from a healed mind. I would never say anything hurtful to someone else. I would never feel guilt or fear. I would never suffer in any way. I would be happy, regardless of what was going on around me. I would see only Christ no matter what story the person is imagining for himself. I would never be confused by appearances. I can imagine this because sometimes I live it now so I can easily envision living it all the time.

Then Jesus says, “Their helpfulness is their praise of God, and He will return their praise of Him because they are like Him, and they can rejoice together.” This is where my imagination fails me. I cannot begin to conceive what that must feel like. I am starting to get a picture, though, of how it must be when we are experiencing life without ego.

I love my brothers unconditionally, seeing nothing but Christ wherever I look. I express that love in whatever way is helpful, allowing spirit to live through this body giving all to all. Because ego is not involved, there is no fear, no doubt or uncertainty. I feel only love flowing through me and to everyone and everything. And because this is like God, He returns love to me. Love flows unobstructed from me to my brother to God and then it flows back from God to us. Endless joy. Imagine.

This is possible. In fact, this is inevitable. Each time I notice a judgmental or angry or hateful or thought in my mind and I realize that I am no longer interested in this, no longer believe in this, I bring that time of blissful communication with God a bit closer. I sometimes feel discouraged because I as I read the paper I see so much unkindness. And when I talk to people, I hear prejudice and fear, guilt and anger, and many of these people have no idea that it should or even could be different. But then I am reminded that they are not my job. It is only my part to see where in my mind I hold the same beliefs and to ask for healing.

Then I notice that my mind seems to be an endless stream of wrong minded thinking, and I wonder how it will ever all be undone. When I feel discouraged about this, I remember what Jesus said in the Course. “My part in the Atonement is the cancelling out of all errors that you could not otherwise correct.” I do my part, do my best, and I know that all else will be done for me.

Teaching as I learn is an essential part of the process. As I give I receive, and as I teach I learn. It is joining in this holy purpose, teacher and student, that much is undone. Sometimes I teach and sometimes I become the student of my student. It doesn’t matter which way it goes. I don’t have to look for either students or teachers because those I need to be with will simply show up at the perfect time.

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Study of the Text VII. Creation and Communication, Paragraph 7 9-13-13

VII. Creation and Communication, Paragraph 7
9-13-13
7 God has kept your Kingdom for you, but He cannot share His joy with you until you know it with your whole mind. Revelation is not enough, because it is only communication from God. God does not need revelation returned to Him, which would clearly be impossible, but He does want it brought to others. This cannot be done with the actual revelation; its content cannot be expressed, because it is intensely personal to the mind that receives it. It can, however, be returned by that mind to other minds, through the attitudes the knowledge from the revelation brings.

At first I was a little uncertain about revelations. I think I confused them with miracles because when miracles first began appearing in my mind and life they seemed so extraordinary. But having experienced revelation, I see it cannot be mistaken for anything else. When I gave a workshop recently, I was so completely in the flow of God’s Love that I was uplifted and inspired. I was joyful in a way that I do not experience normally.

This was miraculous because it was like being without ego for awhile and because it did not come from my mind but through my mind. But as wonderful as it was, it was not revelation. I have had a sudden knowing, not an understanding through the mind, but a knowing that appeared in the mind, from outside the mind. That was miraculous, but it was not revelation.

I have experienced revelation and I wish I could tell you about it, but though I have put words to the experience, they are so inadequate as to be meaningless. So I cannot share this experience with you, but what I can and do share is the conviction that came from it. I know that I am not this body and this story. I know that God is real and that we are meant to experience God. This conviction informs my words and my actions and so are helpful to others.

I am in that interesting and frustrating place of knowing that I am not even really here where I appear to be and yet, I feel like I am here and act like I am here. I forget for long moments at a time that this is an illusion and sometimes get so involved in the story that I suffer. And yet, no matter how confused I become, how emotionally involved I become, I know this is not right. I know I am not what I am temporarily believing. Well, the good that comes from this, and there is always a good use for ego when we give it to Holy Spirit, is that I can speak about ego clearly and can speak about spirit as well.

In the meantime, God keeps my Kingdom safe for me. He keeps my identity safe from my illusions. He keeps my creations safe while my mind wanders. But what He cannot do is share His joy with me while my mind is split. My split mind has shut down much of our channel of communication. I have tasted joy, not the anemic happiness experienced through the illusion, but real joy directly from God and I want more. I am highly motivated to continue to undo the ego. I want to open that channel fully. I know that what I felt was not complete because the channel is not completely open, and though I cannot imagine more love than I felt in that moment, I want it anyway.

Do you think that you cannot experience revelation? That you are not ready? That you are not worthy? God does not make any of His children special. If it is for any one of them it is for all of them. In fact, God wants to reveal Himself to you. He is just waiting for you to open to His love. He wants to experience His love through you and He wants you to take this love to all His children. So it is not God Who is holding back from you, but you who, in your fear, are blocking God.

I understand this. When I think I want this experience again and ask for it, I feel a reluctance to receive. I know; it’s crazy, right? I want it and yet I hesitate, and that hesitation is the split in the mind. The part of my mind that is attached to the story instinctively knows that too much God and I won’t come back. Ego really, really, doesn’t want to go there. That is why I must undo the ego. I am not guilty for this reluctance. God simply waits patiently for me to change my mind as He knows I will.

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Study of the Text VII. Creation and Communication , Paragraph 6 9-12-13

VII. Creation and Communication, Paragraph 6
9-12-13
6 The Bible repeatedly states that you should praise God. This hardly means that you should tell Him how wonderful He is. He has no ego with which to accept such praise, and no perception with which to judge it. But unless you take your part in the creation, His joy is not complete because yours is incomplete. And this He does know. He knows it in His Own Being and its experience of His Son’s experience. The constant going out of His Love is blocked when His channels are closed, and He is lonely when the minds He created do not communicate fully with Him.

In this paragraph more is revealed about the nature of God. The good news is that God does not have an ego. If you tell me how wonderful I am my ego is going to inflate. It loves that kind of thing. My ego perceives positive words from you as good things and negative words as not good. But God does not have an ego; He is not needy, and so He is not dependent on reassurances about Himself, nor does he perceive, He simply knows, and in knowledge there is nothing to judge. It is typical for us to project onto the idea of God our own experience. To the degree I perceive, judge, and crave acceptance and praise, I will tend to believe this about God. Thus, I am reminded here that I am the one with an ego, not God.

It seems simple to say that God does not have an ego, but to really understand what this means is not so simple. The next part of the paragraph further describes the nature of God. Here is what it seems to be saying to me. God created me through extending Himself. This feels confusing to me because I refer to God as a He, and this implies a body and my mind cannot compute a body extending itself. So I have to remind myself that the use of pronouns is just a convenience and not literal.

So God extends “Its Self” and thus creates. This brings God joy and this joy is ongoing. It seems to me that Jesus is telling us that creation is a continuous process and so God experiences joy through that process continuously. As well, God experiences joy through His experience of His Son’s experience. So God is aware of not only His own experience of creation, but is also aware of His son’s experience of creation, and the awareness is one of joy.

The part of our mind that is asleep is no longer creating and is no longer in full communication with God, so His joy has been blocked. Jesus says that He is lonely when the minds He created do not communicate fully with Him. Lonely implies both judgment and need so I am sure that it is just a way of trying to communicate within the limits imposed by words, the same way we say “He” when we refer to God even though God is neither a body/personality, and certainly not gender specific, not gender anything since gender is just another part of the illusion of separation.

But even though it is not possible to find words to adequately explain God, I think I get the picture. God, Which is Love, extended Itself in an act of joyful creation. The nature of creation is such that It must continue to create in the same way, extending Itself as God did. Communication throughout all of creation is joyful. When part of our minds took a side trip into something that is not creation, this communication was curtailed because God knows only creation and does not share in our delusions. Creation was not undone, but it was, in part, disrupted, and when communication was disrupted, so was joy.

If I were to think of this in a way I can readily relate to, I would think that my Father created me out of love, and that it makes Him very happy when we talk. Then one day I wandered away on an adventure and forgot all about my Father. He no longer shares in my life and no longer enjoys our communications. He misses me and longs for me to return home.

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Study of the Text 9-11-13

VII. Creation and Communication
9-11-13
5 God, Who encompasses all being, created beings who have everything individually, but who want to share it to increase their joy. Nothing real can be increased except by sharing. That is why God created you. Divine Abstraction takes joy in sharing. That is what creation means. “How,” “what” and “to whom” are irrelevant, because real creation gives everything, since it can create only like itself. Remember that in the Kingdom there is no difference between having and being, as there is in existence. In the state of being the mind gives everything always.

This is not a very long paragraph, but several things hit the radar for me. God as Divine Abstraction is the first thing I noticed, probably because yesterday I was wondering what God is. I know He is not a body or a man but I don’t really have another category. Thing or It doesn’t fee right either. Father, Creator, these are just titles given to help my comfort level. I cannot define God; only label Him. I cannot understand God from this place I find myself, and maybe I cannot understand Him ever.

I can associate God with certain attributes. He created me like Himself through extension of Himself, thus I understand Him to be generous and loving and giving. From A Course in Miracles and from the answering response in my heart, I attribute God with kindness, gentleness and strength. And as I write this I realize it would be truer perhaps to say He is not kind and gentle and strong, but He is Kindness and Gentleness and Strength itself and thus so am I, having been made in His likeness.

As I am created like God, everything I exhibit that is unlike God cannot be true. It can only be errant thought taking shape through the power that is mine, through a mighty will that is mine, but that has been distorted. Not creation, but a pale shadow of creation, a child’s game of make believe. Because of who I am, because of Who my Creator is, my play is not without effects but it is limited to play.

Another thing which jumped out at me is that we, as we were created, are beings and we are individuals, and yet we are encompassed by God. In other places in the Course we learn that we are one mind and that we are one with God. We are not separate which is the whole point of the Course. So how can there be one of us and yet be more than one. The more I learn the more I realize how little I know. Sometimes in my ignorance I will think and even write so as to indicate I know something. This is hilarious and I invite you to laugh with me when you notice I do this.

I wonder if I can ever understand the nature of God, and the nature of creation, but perhaps that is because I stuck, temporarily, in this dense state, with at least partial amnesia. Perhaps all will become clear as I awaken. Right now I am reminded of Star Trek and the Borg. They were many individuals but they operated from a single mind. In the story they were not the good guys, but isn’t that typical ego, to imitate reality and then distort it to something reality could never be.

The most important thing I see in this paragraph is that God, Reality, Oneness, is Divine Abstraction. God gives. There is nothing He does not give. In creation there is no separation. There is no singling out, no giving to one and not another. He does not give at certain times and withhold at others. God simply gives and this giving creates more of Itself. Later the Course will tell us that to have, give all to all. Be as God. Create as God.

I will be honest; I cannot imagine this. I can understand it in my head, but I cannot see myself being divinely abstract. I cannot see myself giving all to all. I label everything. I categorize it according to importance to me. I can’t even make up my mind what remains in which category. It can change day to day or moment to moment. I give only reluctantly. I give money and compared to what I used to do, I am very generous. Compared to some others I am absolutely miserly. But when I give, I choose carefully where the gift goes. I categorize and judge and decide who is worthy of my gift. And who is not.

Money is just a symbol, but this applies to everything. I give my love only after considering if the recipient is worthy. I have, over the years as I studied the Course and allowed my mind to be healed, greatly enlarged the circle of worthy people, but I still give only to some and withhold from others. I hate to write that. I hate to see it in myself, but I know that it is true for me right now. I am willing that it not be true.

You know, maybe I do have a clue what it means to be divinely abstract. I am moving, albeit slowly, in that direction as I become more and more willing to have all obstacles to Love removed from my mind. This is, after all, the miracle, the point of all my study and practice of the Course. I forgive and thus the ego is undone in my mind and I am left with only the truth of my being. Since I am an extension of my Creator Who is Divine Abstraction, I must be that too, so how can it be a mystery to me? How can my nature be unknown to me? I must know.

“God, please reveal my Self to me.”

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Study of the Text 9-10-13

VII. Creation and Communication
9-10-13
4 Existence as well as being rest on communication. Existence, however, is specific in how, what and with whom communication is judged to be worth undertaking. Being is completely without these distinctions. It is a state in which the mind is in communication with everything that is real. To whatever extent you permit this state to be curtailed you are limiting your sense of your own reality, which becomes total only by recognizing all reality in the glorious context of its real relationship to you. This is your reality. Do not desecrate it or recoil from it. It is your real home, your real temple and your real Self. 

I see how my ego is very specific about communication. Not only does it have specific reasons or goals in communication with each specific person, but vast numbers of people stand outside the small circle of people it deems worthy of communication. I would give money to a beggar, but would I be interested in his story, would I open my mind and heart to him, or would I give and quickly shy away? I have been known to stand really still in a dark room waiting out the Jehovah’s Witness knocking on my door. For a long time I avoided the sick, the mentally ill, the old. But Spirit kept sending them to my door until finally I began to open it.

For many years animal lovers have baffled me. They seemed to in some way attuned to their pets and to have such deep love for them. I couldn’t understand this. In my mind they were just animals and while I would be kind to them, I felt no love and would never consider communicating with them. I no longer feel like they are “just” animals, but I still am not drawn to them in the way some people are. I have no doubt though, that communication with them is possible.

My feeling is that words are just one way to communicate and probably not the most effective. I have a feeling that if I let go the self-imposed boundaries of body-to-body communication I would feel something else. I sense it right there just out of reach, hindered only by my need to be separate. I suspect that I limit my communication because I have boundaries that I defend against encroachment. My body is my most important fortification; my ego resides “safely” behind its walls and all else is rebutted. My judgments further hinder communication, as some are deemed worthy and others repelled or disregarded.

You know, as I write this I feel tired. How much of myself goes into preventing communication? How much effort, attention and energy do I expend preventing communication? If being naturally communicates with all, then I must be working very hard to be unaware of this communication. I don’t know how to let down my defenses and be my Self. What I can do is become willing to communicate on whatever level I am aware.

I can remain vigilant for self-imposed restrictions on communication. One way I can do this is to give each person I speak to my total attention rather than allowing my mind to wander. I can begin each conversation with the silent prayer to know this brother, to hear this brother in whatever way he needs me to hear him, to hear with my Heart not just my ears. I can release whatever judgments arise because those judgments are a block that keeps me from hearing my brother.

I can become willing and ever more willing to allow communication at the deepest levels I am capable at this time. I sense that full communication with all things is a wonder to be embraced, rather than a danger to be defended against. I give my willingness to move into this and though I don’t know how, I know it is possible and it is my right. I know it is my true nature. My ego wants separation, but I am not my ego.

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