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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: The Last Step, Paragraph 6. 2-21-14

I. The Last Step, Paragraph 6

6 To think like God is to share His certainty of what you are, and to create like Him is to share the perfect Love He shares with you. To this the Holy Spirit leads you, that your joy may be complete because the Kingdom of God is whole. I have said that the last step in the reawakening of knowledge is taken by God. This is true, but it is hard to explain in words because words are symbols, and nothing that is true need be explained. However, the Holy Spirit has the task of translating the useless into the useful, the meaningless into the meaningful, and the temporary into the timeless. He can therefore tell you something about this last step.

We are getting into the unexplainable. I remember how frustrated I used to get when the Church said in answer to my questions, “It’s a mystery.” Well I don’t know if the last step is a mystery, but certainly we are going to be left without an explanation that the ego will find satisfactory. I doubt the words exist to explain God.

We have closed our minds off from the Divine and the eternal. It is like we have built a little room that keeps the light out and we have existed in darkness for so long that we no longer remember light. Now we want someone to explain it to us.

What can happen is that we can desire the light and then we will be led to take down the walls to our little room and enter the light. This is what A Course in Miracles is doing for us. One carefully planned step at a time, we are being guided to uncover our true desire for the Light and instructed in the dismantling process.

What I can see now in retrospect is that my awakening has been very carefully planned. I often don’t see the circumstances and the lessons as part of the overall plan. In fact, I have often thought they were just mistakes I had made, missteps on my way to Heaven, when in actuality it turns out they were perfect steps on my path leading me out of the darkness and into the light.

Through reading the Text, which introduced me to the idea I had a path and drew me toward it; through doing the lessons, which began the process of changing my mind and increased my willingness for something else; and then through vigilance in watching my mind for wrong minded thoughts and accepting the Atonement for them, I have begun to dismantle my little room.

Light has entered my mind, and while I have not invited it into every dark corner yet, I know something of light and I so my desire for light increases daily. My anticipation grows as I remove more obstacles to the light, and now I watch eagerly as my Guide directs me to the next dark place and waits for permission to shine light into it.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text, I. The Last Step, Paragraph 5. 1-20-14

I. The Last Step, Paragraph 5
5 I gave only love to the Kingdom because I believed that was what I was. What you believe you are determines your gifts, and if God created you by extending Himself as you, you can only extend yourself as He did. Only joy increases forever, since joy and eternity are inseparable. God extends outward beyond limits and beyond time, and you who are co-creator with Him extend His Kingdom forever and beyond limit. Eternity is the indelible stamp of creation. The eternal are in peace and joy forever.

I woke up at 3:00 and my mind was filled with ego fear thoughts. I don’t know why it is that sometimes, when I am tired usually, all the unhealed thoughts come up for me to look at. At first I felt a little of the old vulnerability as I started following the fear thoughts down the rabbit hole. But even in that half asleep state, I knew I didn’t want to go there.

I lay there asking for another way to see. I listen to the Course at night playing softly in my sleep and suddenly I focused on what was being said. He was talking about fear. I lay there and listened to the soothing and helpful words.  At first there was a sense of struggle as the ego continued its litany of “what if” thoughts. I steadfastly refused to turn my attention back to the ego fear thoughts, and my willingness to hear the Voice for God won out.

I looked into my mind for the thoughts I think with God. I remembered that it is not God’s Will that I suffer. I remembered that the future does not exist and returned my mind to the present moment where all is as it should be. I lay here in this rather nice hotel room with the comforting words of Jesus softly filling the room. What else could I want right this moment? What is there to fear?

I can find fear thoughts only if I leave the moment and project myself into some imagined experience in an uncertain future. Why would I choose to do that? Right now, right this moment I am choosing love over fear and in so doing, I am healing the Sonship of the belief in fear. I am safe in God where I have always been and will always be. God loves me and I love Him. Ahh. The true thoughts are right there in my mind. Why choose to focus on the ego fear thoughts instead? No good reason.

Jesus gave only love because that was all he believed about himself. If I hold onto the belief in fear, the gift I have to share will be fear. I will share love sometimes, but at other times I will share fear, and what I give to others I give to myself. As I teach fear, I learn fear. Do you see the closed cycle?

There is a way out of it, though, and it begins with a little willingness. At one time, I had a little willingness to remember who I am, a little willingness to let go of my separate will.  As I practiced that willingness it grew and it continues to grow. One day my desire to be only the love I am in truth will be so great, there will be no room for fear. This morning at three o’clock I made another decision for God and the day I know myself as only love got another step closer.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: The Last Step, Paragraph 4continued. 2-19-14

I. The Last Step, Paragraph 4
4 The ego, on the other hand, always demands reciprocal rights, because it is competitive rather than loving. It is always willing to strike a bargain, but it cannot understand that to be like another means that no bargains are possible. To gain you must give, not bargain. To bargain is to limit giving, and this is not God’s Will. To will with God is to create like Him. God does not limit His gifts in any way. You are His gifts, and so your gifts must be like His. Your gifts to the Kingdom must be like His gifts to you.

A Course in Miracles introduces me to a God so unlike the one I learned about in traditional religion. That God loved me only when I was obedient, and punished me when I was not. The God I used to believe in was a bargain maker. It seems so obvious to me now that this God is simply a reflection of the ego and not God at all. God gives and only gives. He has no conditions on His giving. He gives because that is His nature, and because He created me from His nature, as an extension of His nature, I too, give without condition. So this thing I seem to be now, this bargain maker, is clearly not me.

Becoming aware of the beliefs I hold that do not reflect my true nature is the first step in returning to my senses. I ask that these beliefs be brought to my attention. How do I still reflect the belief that love is a contract, a bargain to be struck? How do I try to set boundaries and limits on love? I want to be aware of these misconceptions in my mind so that I can look with Spirit and allow them to be undone for me. As the answers to my prayer begin to play across my mind I see that they are many and often subtle.

I thought I needed my daughter to answer a question for me before I could go on with my plans. She seemed to be ignoring her texts and her phone calls. I felt annoyed and frustrated. I felt rejected. Because my feelings were mostly focused inward, and carefully hidden behind a gentler façade than I was actually feeling (a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury, Lesson 21), I was able to avoid seeing the hidden bargain.

Looking honestly with Holy Spirit I am able to see the bargain. If my daughter will show me love, respect, and attention, then I will love her above all things and put her first in my life. If she fails to live up to her part of the bargain, I will turn on her in carefully cloaked rage. I can’t let her see the full extent of my fury because I want to renegotiate the bargain, so I use more subtle methods to bring her back into line, maybe guilt and manipulation. Could I have ever thought this was love? And yet it passes for love in most people’s relationships.

Many relationships themselves are an attempt to limit love. “I will single you out and love you in a special way if you will love me in that same way.” Isn’t this the bargain that is typically made between two people who “fall in love?” What if I simply loved and allowed that love to flow everywhere? What if there were no boundaries on my love?

I could still live with only one person, I could even marry that person. But why should that be a special relationship? Why should marriage to one person limit the flow of love? Yet, that is the way we typically define being in love. Two people find each other so special that the “love” they feel for each other is different than the love they feel for others. That is like building a wall around love to contain it. This is not the nature of love and so what is felt is no longer love. The bargain that is struck between two people to limit love is no longer about love, but is now about need and the fear of loss.

I see the thoughts in my mind about reciprocal giving such as the ones that I noticed when my daughter failed to answer my call. These kind of thoughts occur in nearly all my relationships. Mostly they just float on by, though sometimes they slow down a bit as I consider them, deciding whether or not I believe the thought. Very rarely now, I choose to believe it for awhile until I get tired of suffering, then I let it go. It is a relief and wonderfully freeing not to be blindly attached to that belief anymore.

Where I am still attached to a belief in limiting my love is in the special relationship. I still do not allow my love to flow unimpeded by limits of any kind. I try to direct it to some people and try to withhold it from others. I cannot, of myself, do anything about this. What I can do is desire to experience love as it truly is, not what I try to make of it. My desire is an invitation to healing.

I notice the times when I try to direct love and ask that my mind be healed of such foolish and unproductive beliefs. I do this as often as I need to and allow the desire for love to be love become stronger until it overwhelms the need to be special. I must be getting closer because I can now imagine my love flowing like a strong and wide river, encompassing all in its path. I laugh at the idea of the river trying to avoid certain people, or getting dammed up by certain other people.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: The Last Step, Paragraph 3 continued. 2-18-14

I. The Last Step, Paragraph 3

3 Your creations belong in you, as you belong in God. You are part of God, as your sons are part of His Sons. To create is to love. Love extends outward simply because it cannot be contained. Being limitless it does not stop. It creates forever, but not in time. God’s creations have always been, because He has always been. Your creations have always been, because you can create only as God creates. Eternity is yours, because He created you eternal.

Oh my God! I am eternal. I am like God. I am a creator and my creations are eternal and create as I create. Creation cannot be contained; it is endless and limitless and eternal. Creation is love and extends outward always. I am That. How could I ever have mistaken myself for this small, fragile and limited being in this body? And now that I have, how do I shift my awareness to that which I truly am?

I can’t stop crying. I don’t know if I am crying because of the promise these words hold, or because I don’t seem to be able to step fully into that promise. I am very grateful for the Course and for the daily lessons. “God is the strength in which I trust.” “There is nothing to fear.” Of myself, that is, of my little ego imaginary self, I can do nothing. But I am not left alone and forsaken. There is a place in me where nothing is impossible.

I live and move and have my being in you, God. I want to go home. Oh my God, please wake me up! I want to be what I am. I trust that I will be guided step by step. I trust that while I am lost here in this story of me, You have not left me bereft and the way is being made clear for my return.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: The Last Step, Paragraph 2 continued. 2-17-14

I. The Last Step, Paragraph 2
2 If you created God and He created you, the Kingdom could not increase through its own creative thought. Creation would therefore be limited, and you would not be co-creators with God. As God’s creative Thought proceeds from Him to you, so must your creative thought proceed from you to your creations. Only in this way can all creative power extend outward. God’s accomplishments are not yours, but yours are like His. He created the Sonship and you increase it. You have the power to add to the Kingdom, though not to add to the Creator of the Kingdom. You claim this power when you become vigilant only for God and His Kingdom. By accepting this power as yours you have learned to remember what you are.

I was guided to look at this paragraph again.

I remember the first time I read something in the Course about my creations. I was astounded at the thought. I was titillated, curious and fascinated. I try to imagine what that is. What does it look like, my creations? I cannot even begin to guess, and yet I continue to create, to extend the Kingdom of God, even while I imagine myself in time. The memory of my creations is in my mind alongside the thoughts I think with God. Maybe they are the thoughts I think with God.

At this point in my awakening I think it is helpful for me to remind myself that I am a creator, that I create like God, and that this is ongoing. I remind myself of this because my experience is so different right now, and so narrowly focused, that I cannot remember any of this. I am ready to claim my power and so I am vigilant for God and His Kingdom. I am not vigilant only for God yet, but I get closer to that every day.

I was asking Jesus if there was anything else he wanted me to see concerning this paragraph and as I sat here my mind seemed to wander to someone I know who is sick. I thought about how his actions seemed to have brought on the sickness and that this is a pattern for him and maybe that is his lesson in this lifetime. Maybe he is learning that self will does not bring him happiness and peace.

Then Jesus gently turned my mind in another direction. I understood that it is not my job to discern his lessons, nor is it my job to judge him. It is funny really, because everything I thought about this friend of mine is exactly true of me. I bring on my own sickness through the wrong-
minded thoughts in my mind. This is a pattern for me too, and maybe that is one of my lessons for this lifetime as I accept that self-will and a need to control are not making me happy. They are not bringing me home.

How might I be vigilant only for the God and His Kingdom in this case? How do I accept my power and remember what I am? The answer I received is that I am to turn my face from the ego appearance and the ego desire to assign blame. Instead I am to remember the Will of God. What is God’s Will for His Son? It is not God’s Will that His Son be condemned for his errors, and it is not God’s Will that His Son be punished for them.

It is God’s Will that His Son be only as he was created. And it is my job to know this is true. It is true for my friend, and it is true for me. My eyes show me the appearance of a sickly body when I look at my friend. But my eyes are blind. They don’t see what is before them. Their only use is to report to me what I want to believe. As I accept only that the truth is true, I am empowered with vision.

Today I choose to disregard appearances. Appearances are only the shadows of my mistaken beliefs. They are meaningless. Today I commit to allowing my mind to see what is actually there. I commit to this sacred purpose. “Holy Spirit, I open my mind to You and invite You to correct my thinking. Keep me vigilant only for God and His Kingdom. Thank you.”

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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