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Gentle Healing Lesson 117, Manual for Teachers, Text.  4-1-19

Lesson 117

(103) God, being Love, is also happiness.
(104) I seek but what belongs to me in truth.

There is only love as there is only God. Everything else is an illusion. Knowing What Is brings joy, knowing what is not real brings temporary pleasure at best and suffering is a certainty. I have one foot in humanity, but that is not my reality. I have the strength of God in me because that is my reality. I can choose to live as if I am only human, or I can choose to live as close to my true nature as is possible.

I choose love in every moment and I am choosing happiness and I am moving closer to Who I Am. In seeking joy, I am seeking my own true nature. In this practice of deciding to be happy and deciding to love everything and to be love in every way possible, I am merely being my Self.

The self I thought I was could not make a decision for happiness because she thought that her feelings were out of her control. Because she believed this, she would not even try. But I have transcended that self at least enough to do this one thing, to decide for happiness regardless of circumstances.

I still have to choose and then choose again at times, but mostly, it only requires that one thought, I decide. Not only is my life better, but I am aware of myself in a different way now. I am not learning to control anything or to become something else, I am simply accepting what was mine and what I always have been.

Regina’s Tips

Regina shared an article called “How I Discovered Meditative Self-Inquiry” by Adyashanti

In this article he explains the steps he takes in contemplation. He begins with a question. He writes only what he knows then he stops and waits for more to come. He never writes a word he does not absolutely know to be true.  He starts out writing as if he were teaching and he would write until he had exhausted what he knew from his own experience on the subject.

He said: Sometimes I would sit right at that place for many minutes, sometimes half an hour, sometimes two hours … but I would not write the next word until I knew that it was true and it was accurate. What I found was that the only way to move was to hold still, right there at the edge of my knowledge, and feel into my mind and my body at that threshold. Not to think about the question. Not to go into a lot of philosophizing in mind. But literally to kinesthetically hold at that boundary between what I knew and what was beyond what I knew. And what I found was that by holding at that boundary … by feeling it, by sensing it, by knowing that I wanted to move beyond it … that eventually the next word or sentence would come. When it did, I would write it down. Sometimes I would write no more than half a sentence before I would know, right in the middle, that I had hit the boundary again. I would stop again and I would wait. I’d hold at the boundary.

He went on like this until he had his answer.

My Thoughts

This feels very familiar to me. This is similar to what I usually do. I begin by writing what I know and I try to stick to my experience of it because how do I know what is beyond my experience? If I don’t feel complete, I ask for clarity. My asking is directed at the Holy Spirit, or to say it differently, to my Higher Self.

I know that all understanding is available to us, but it is obscured if we are trying to use our thinking mind to access it. I think the difference between what I do and Adyashanti is that he is probably a lot more careful when he questions himself. I am looser about it, doing my best to write from within rather than to write from my thinking mind, but I am not sure I always succeed.

Manual for Teachers

“The mind therefore seeks to make it true out of its intensity of desire to have it for itself.”

What do I want that is so intensely desired that an entire world was imagined to satisfy this desire? It seems that the wish was for a separate self, independent of God and my brothers. So, what do I gain for my efforts? I get to be different and special. I get needs that must be met and I get to decide how to do that, all by myself.

I have been watching TV lately. I acquired an Amazon Fire Stick, which gives me a lot more options for the types of shows I can watch. What I have noticed is that I like mysteries. I like them in my books as well. I like to unravel or even watch the mystery unravel.

It occurs to me that this mirrors part of the appeal of the world we made. It is filled with mysteries I get to unravel, some as simple as deciding on the brand of toothpaste is best and as urgent as deciding how to deal with a serious problem. In fact, the world presents me with an unending stream of problems for me to solve.

Sometimes I am the hero and sometimes I am the failure. But it is always me, alone, independently making decisions. I have treasured that independence, that separate, special self.

What I have discovered is that it is all a farce. I have never been separate and never been independent. There is no world in which I play out this fantasy. There is only an imagined world seeming to appear in the gap I pretend exists between all things. And even that was dreamed up long ago and is only an ancient memory.

This world of separation was a thought in the mind that existed hardly an instant. I pretend to bring it to life by remembering it and I fool myself into believing I am living in it, all so that I can act as if I am a separate self, making plans and deciding on my own and making things happen. What a goof I am. I used to think this was my super power. Now I think my superpower is my ability to awaken from this soured dream of separation and to live from this awakened state, to live a life of gratitude and happiness.

Text
The only way I will ever be perfectly happy and perfectly peaceful is if I unite my will with God’s Will. The way I accomplish this is to notice what I want instead of God’s Will and then ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind, that is to accept the Atonement for that error in thinking. This is the Holy Spirit’s job, and only what I learn from Him will release my will.

When the Atonement has been accomplished there will be no experience except joy and peace. The only thing that blocks this is the wish for some other experience. What experience could I want that is more important to me than uninterrupted peace and perfect joy? The perplexity that I feel when I think about that occurs because I am confused about what makes me happy.

Here are ideas that used to block me. I would think that if I were thinner and never had to worry about how what I eat affects my body, then I would be happy. I used to think I needed the experience of being loved and respected by my children. Being loved and respected is not the problem. Believing that this is an experience I must have to be happy is the problem.

I used to believe I had to have money and good health in order to be happy. As it turns out, neither is important to my happiness. I prefer to have both, but I can be happy regardless. I used to think my kids had to be ok for me to be happy. I discovered that I can be happy for their challenges just as I am happy for their successes. I can be happy that I am part of their story even when it is a challenging story. I can be happy for the miracle the challenge offers.

What I discovered is that the belief I needed certain things in the world to happen, and that I could somehow accomplish these things on my own, are the very things that were blocking my joy and happiness. These beliefs represent my willfulness, my belief that I want the experience of a personal will rather than that I share the Will of God.

I don’t know what I need or how to get it. The Holy Spirit does know and will teach me if I ask, and if I let go of the belief I already know the answer.

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Gentle Healing Lesson 116, Manual for Teachers, Text.  3-29-19

Gentle Healing Lesson 116
(101) God’s Will for me is perfect happiness.
(102) I share God’s Will for happiness for me.

Since happiness is God’s Will for me, the only way I can be unhappy is if I believe in a will different than God’s. That belief is fading away for me. It is not completely gone because I can see its effects at times. Sometimes it is just the thought that something shouldn’t be happening or that if something different were happening then I could be happy. But I don’t hold those beliefs very long. I notice them and then remember they could not be true.

Once in a while, I will feel disheartened in a kind of hazy way for no apparent reason, but then I share God’s Will for happiness for me and the feeling dissolves. When something important to me is not going as expected, generally when my children seem to be endangered, I can be unhappy until I am able to return to normalcy again.

I return to sanity as I choose happiness and by remembering that we are not these bodies and this world is not real and we cannot be in danger. So, I have not entirely accepted God’s Will for happiness for me, but I am doing so more and more frequently and in so doing, I am beginning to believe that there is no will but God’s Will and that I want nothing else.

Ultimately, I will fully accept God’s Will is my will and that is all that exists and all that I want as I accept my true Self. I am continuing to meditate every day in as much patience and heartfelt desire as I can. In a few minutes, I will be still in expectancy of knowing my Self. Each time I sit down for this meditation, I do so with the happy thought that this might be the day. I am also beginning to have moments during the day when I am still, waiting, expecting.

Regina’s Tips
Sometimes we may be asked to contemplate material we do not like. Maybe the material uses words or symbols we do not like. Maybe we don’t have any mental understanding at all, and we feel frustrated about that lack of understanding. Maybe we don’t like the source of the quote. Maybe we have judgments against the person who spoke or wrote the quote, or maybe we have judgments against the text or spiritual path the quote comes from.

Any judgments we have about the material we are contemplating will get in the way of receiving wisdom. If we have any judgments at all about the material, we serve ourselves best by being willing to look at our judgments and let them go.

Grievances block wisdom, and that includes any grievance we may hold against any written word.

My Thoughts
I know that Regina is right about this. At times, I have grievances against the written word that comes from Regina. It caused me grief and distrust, not the writings, but that Regina had embraced teachings that I didn’t care for. She and I had shared a love of A Course in Miracles and she was my teacher of those words for years. We both loved NTI and she taught me with those words. Even Inner Ramana, which was beginning to move out of my comfort zone was a wonderful teaching device and again, I learned from Regina.

But then she began to teach from writings that did not inspire me and I felt abandoned and resented the writings since I loved Regina too much to resent her. But my desire to awaken is stronger than any grievance and so, somehow I wound up here studying this information in Gentle Awakening. The barrier I erected against my own good is crumbling a bit at a time. There are teachings that still do not inspire me, but they are not irritating me anymore and I am open to feeling differently if that is where my own true Self wants to take me.

Manual for Teachers
“The belief in order of difficulties is the basis for the world’s perception. ...What the body’s eyes behold is only conflict. Look not to them for peace and understanding.”

I understand this problem. Life can appear to be very chaotic as I am bombarded with people and situations that vie for my attention. Because of past learning, I categorized them according to importance to me and according to urgency. This is the way we are taught have to live. There are books written to help us learn how to best juggle these choices because for some, it becomes confusing and overwhelming and there seems to be a desperate need to get it right.

Two common categories are good and bad. But, I am learning not to judge anything that occurs, that I don’t need to separate and categorize my life at all. Experience is teaching me to be in this present moment, trusting that I have a loving Presence ever ready to help me whatever my need?

I have already seen that when I surrender my life to God, I am gently uplifted and carried. But this desire to decide on my own what everything means and what should be done about all the separate elements, how to categorize them and to decide which ones are important and which ones are not, takes it out of God’s hands and leaves me on my own again.

Instead, I am learning to see my life as a series of events with only one meaning and one purpose, not good or bad, important or unimportant. I imagine every event being perfect in its time and then being gone to make room for the next perfect moment. I use each moment in whatever way the Holy Spirit would have me use it. I imagine being in joy regardless of what seems to be happening because I am living a life of purpose that is not my own, but God’s.

Text
6.III.4 Since you cannot not teach, your salvation lies in teaching the exact opposite of everything the ego believes. This is how you will learn the truth that will set you free, and will keep you free as others learn it of you. The only way to have peace is to teach peace.

Being a teacher is not a choice we make; it is simply what we are. We are teachers because we teach all the time. Our choice lies in what we teach. When I notice that I am teaching something I don’t want to learn, I stop. This is because I am clear now about my purpose, about what I want. I want the peace of God. I want to wake up to my reality, to remember who I am. I don’t want to teach anything that does not bring me closer to my deepest, truest desire.

How do I teach peace if I don’t feel peaceful? I shift everything through my desire. I am in this ego belief system because I desired an experience of separation. I get out of it by shifting my desire to one of peace and love. I already have a built-in solution which is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit works from outside the closed system and will shift me from chaos to peace. The Holy Spirit is activated through my desire for peace.

The more I teach peace the more I want it and the faster my desire changes. When my only desire is for peace, I will teach only peace and there will be no more chaos because there is no desire for chaos. I am, through my desire and with the Holy Spirit, creating a different cycle. Recently, I was being judgmental of some people.  I thought I let it go but judgmental thoughts kept showing up in my mind.

Finally, I just stopped what I was doing and with great conviction, I told Jesus that I am through with those thoughts. I had no use for them. There is no one else to be judgmental about, so when I judge those people, I am judging myself and losing my peace. I was very certain that I was through with that judgment and because I was certain, it all went away and has not returned, nor do I expect it to. I am set free.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Lesson 115, Manual for Teachers, Text.  3-28-19

Lesson 115
(99) Salvation is my only function here.

(100) My part is essential to God’s plan for salvation.

As I have been doing for the last several days, I began with a short meditation for the purpose of being still and inviting my Self to come forward, or maybe it is being quiet so that I have the chance to know my Self rather than the chattering ego mind. I have tried some specific meditations, and thus far I am not inspired by them. Maybe it is too soon to expect them to be meaningful to me. One was helpful in that it suggests using an inspiring song to help me shift from the head to the heart. I do see the value in coming from the heart rather than the head. I used If You Knew How Much I Love You from The Untethered Soul.

Contemplation
Bentinho Massaro says that our life is not about our life and I agree 100%. We came here with a purpose and that purpose is what our life is about. I have only one thing to do here, that is to save the world and thus to save myself. I do this through forgiveness. I forgive the world means I no longer value the world, I let it go from my desires. The world exists because we wanted it. I change my mind; I no longer want the world. I forgive the idea of the world, which undoes the world.

I am essential to this plan for salvation because the Son can be seen as holographic in nature. What is in one is also in the others, so, even as we seem each of us to be unique, we are one. If even one of us loves the idea of the world, we all have the love of the world in us. So my part is to accept the Atonement (forgive) and let the world disappear from my mind and the idea of world becomes weaker in all minds.

Regina’s Tips
A common block to receiving wisdom through contemplation is perceiving the text that is being contemplated as straightforward and easy to understand. Maybe you are contemplating a sentence that is short, simple and clear. “I get it,” the mind says.

Well … that doesn’t mean there isn’t more to be gained through contemplation.

My Thoughts
I am typically impatient and though I do stop long enough to ask for clarity, I seldom give time and thoughtfulness to my answers, just to see what else might come. I suppose that is the value of contemplating the lessons during the day. I admit that I was hesitant to write these two lessons on a card and use them during the day, not because they are unimportant, but because I thought I knew what they mean and that I am all in. But now, I am going to put them on a card and carry them with me during the day, stopping as often as I can to contemplate further.

Manual for Teachers
“If you are offering only healing, you cannot doubt. Doubt is the result of conflicting wishes. Be sure of what you want, and doubt becomes impossible.”

Let me not get in the way of God’s work through me.
Healing is a simple thing. I need only allow the power of God to work through me. It becomes complicated or confused only when the ego mind is allowed to intrude on the healing. Then the mind begins to question; can this be healed, should it be healed? Have you ever had the thought that maybe it was the person’s classroom and maybe you should not interfere? The healer has become confused about his own identity. Conflict has entered the mind.

I was asked to pray for someone this morning. The ego mind jumped right in with questions about the problem and I saw my mind become confused about how to pray in this situation. So I stopped thinking. I let my mind go still and right away, I knew how to pray. I knew that this person was healed and whole and nothing else about her was true.

I knew she was energetic and in love with life, that she felt loving and joyful simply because that is her true nature. These things are true about her because of who she is and I cannot imagine anything else being true. My mind is clear about this and so my prayer is powerful as is the mind that holds it as true. I know what is true and so doubt is impossible and healing is certain.

Text
The Alternative to Projection
We began with a mind that knew only truth, only wholeness. There was Love and there was the extension of Love. This is all that was in the mind and so there was perfect peace. Then there was the thought of something else and the mind was split between Love and the idea of something not Love.

In order to explore the other idea, the thought of Love had to be dissociated. One cannot know unity and know separation in the same instant. To know separation and have that experience it was necessary to exclude oneness. The moment we remember oneness we lose the idea of separation. The idea of separation is not natural to us so we needed a device to sustain it and so we made projection.

Envisioning how we came to this place of a split mind and how we keep it going, it is easy to see how we reverse it. We undo the ego (separation thinking) by losing interest in separation and placing our mind on only the truth. We stop projecting and the thought system of separation must collapse. In A Course in Miracles, we learn what is going on and how to recognize it as it is happening. We learn that there is an alternative and that the alternative is preferable.

Then we start to back out of the separation idea a step at a time, but that can be accelerated the moment we decide that we want nothing else but the truth. The actual change in mind is that simple, we choose again. All of the work involved is to bring us to the place where we want nothing but God. This explanation may be too simplistic, and it may not be exactly the way it happened, but it is a helpful explanation that I was led to.

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Gentle Healing Journal, Lesson 114 3-27-19

Lesson 114
(97) I am spirit.
(98) I will accept my part in God’s plan for salvation.

These lessons have been very supportive of my desire to know my Self. This morning, I started my meditation with greater anticipation than before. I know I am not this body no matter how much it sometimes feels like I am. I am spirit and cannot be limited because God created me unlimited. I am the Son of God. What an extraordinary thing to know when for so long I saw myself as so much less. Today, I will focus on my function, which is to simply accept God’s Word that I am as He created me.

My Contemplation
I am the Son of God, God the Son. Can a God also be a body? Can a God also be limited? It must be that I am not what I seem to be as this body/personality. Am I in this body or is this body in me? Is it a thought in the mind of which I am aware? Could I shift my awareness to something else? If I did, would the body cease to be or would others who value this body sustain it in their awareness until I returned my attention to it?

Or perhaps I dreamed up this story of a body long ago and I am just remembering it now, thinking about it, keeping it “alive” in my mind through my memories, “an ancient memory I have placed before my eyes.”

How do I shift my mind from the body to what I am? Perhaps it is a matter of placing my attention on my Self as the foreground and with the body-self in the back ground. Then I could place my attention on the body-self bringing it into the foreground, with my Self in the background. Shifting my attention back and forth until it is easy and natural and until I comfortably keep the Self foremost in my sight and the ego self a bit in the background, never confusing the two again. Could that be it?

Regina’s Tips
Sometimes when wisdom begins to flow, it isn’t immediately brilliant to me. The first few words that appear may seem uninteresting or unorganized. I remember I’ve promised not to judge what comes, and I start writing whatever comes. This seems to open the flow more, and soon I have perfect wisdom for me now. And that’s really all it has to be … the perfect wisdom for me now.

If what comes feels like something that is good for you to focus on today, that’s it. That’s the wisdom. Don’t expect anything else. All you really need is today’s “daily bread.” Today’s daily bread, one day at a time, will take you all the way to the top of the mountain.

My Thoughts
My contemplation was a little different today. I contemplated through questioning possibilities. At first, I had the thought that this was going nowhere, that I am looking for answers not more questions. But then I decided to trust the inner wisdom that was making itself known in this way. Maybe I need to let the questions rest in my mind to see what bubbles up during the day.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal, Lesson 113 3-21-19

Lesson 113
(95) I am one Self, united with my Creator.
(96) Salvation comes from my one Self.

Again, this morning I sat for a while readying my mind to know my Self. At first, I noticed how much I didn’t want to do this and knew that was because I was afraid of failure and what that would mean. I asked the Holy Spirit to remove those thoughts from my mind and He did. I settled into the process. I didn’t have as many distracting thoughts as before and when I did, I turned from them more quickly. I’m going to try again later. I know that it is normal to take time to acquire discipline of the mind.

Just reading today’s review caused a feeling of peace to flow through me. I asked the Holy Spirit to clarify these lessons for me as I began my contemplation. Serenity and perfect peace are mine right now, not when something happens or when I do something deserving or prove my worth through some great effort. I am my Self and one with God is just a fact that does not change. That it does not change is a hallmark of my Self, as only the changeless is my Self. I can trust that I am completely whole and at one with all creation and with God even when that doesn’t appear to be my experience, even if I can’t feel it.

It is this one Self, my true Self from which salvation comes because knowing this Self is my salvation. The knowledge of my one Self is in my mind. It did not disappear because I turned from it and placed my attention on the split mind. It remains with me and as me regardless of any change I imagine. My salvation was fulfilled at the instant it was needed and now I am ready to accept salvation. I want to be at Home in God as my Self and this is done. Come on, self, what are you waiting for? This is the best deal you are ever going to get, the only deal worth having. Let’s do this.

Regina’s Tips
We have to be willing to let ‘pointing’ come to us in whatever form it will as we contemplate, and then it is important to trust what comes. Usually, as we trust the first little bit that comes, more will follow.

My Thoughts
I write what comes to me after I ask for clarification. Then I read what I wrote, correcting grammar and spelling. I also read to see if it is complete. I sometimes get more as I read. I have moments when I doubt and wonder if this could be right or if it is just me writing from the thinking mind. Over the years, I have come to trust my feelings. When it feels right, I trust that it is right. If it feels wrong, I ask for more clarification.

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Gentle Healing Journal, Lesson 112 3-19-19

Lesson 112
(93) Light and joy and peace abide in me.
(94) I am as God created me.

I began my day with meditation in an effort to know my Self. It went better than usual. I think it was because I was sincere about my desire to do this. When I caught myself thinking of something in my life, I would see myself standing before a display window looking in at the story being played out, realize I wasn’t interested and move on toward the light. I reminded myself that knowing my Self is my heart’s desire and that it is both my will and God’s Will so I cannot fail. When I would start to think again, I remembered that I am not interested in thinking. In the past, by this time I would be antsy and jump up, but I didn’t feel that way. I stayed with it for a little longer until it began to feel like a strain. I’m looking forward to doing it again today.

Light and joy and peace abide in me and I am as God created me. Perhaps it would be accurate to say that because I am as God created me, light and joy and peace abide in me. I am the home of peace, the home of joy. Right now, I feel like this is true. I still feel the peace and joy of the meditation. But I am drawn to the idea that I am as God created me.

What God creates is eternally as it was created. I cannot change. I cannot be something God did not create. I cannot change even a tiny little bit. Even as I appear human and feel human, I am as God appearing human and feeling what it is to be human. There is a huge difference in being of God as I show up as human and actually being human. As God, I can experience myself as human but I cannot be human and still be God. God created me as Himself and so I am.

Regina’s Tips
“In order to understand the symbol, one must accept the Love of Christ. One prepares himself to accept that Love BY RECOGNIZING HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND the symbol, and then he ASKS for understanding. By OPENING UP TO RECEIVE UNDERSTANDING WITHOUT JUDGMENT, he opens up to accept the Love of Christ. With that Love comes Christ’s knowledge, for they are the same and inseparable. Then the meaning that is beyond the words is understood as a Light that shines for all who look to see.”

My Thoughts
We don’t all do this the same way. What works for me is to pause and ask for clarity and then to pause again until I feel like writing. I don’t wait too long because I tend to start thinking about it if I do. I just start writing. It might not be clarity at first. It might be what I think I know. But my trust brings clarity.

When I first started this process, I would write for a long time before it was no longer my thinking mind bringing the words. I would delete all that came before. Now, however, after years of doing this, it comes pretty quickly. I contemplate through my writing. The writing keeps me focused and when it comes, I am not aware of anything else. I love this process. It is the best part of my day. I can also write what I think I know. I can write as a writer using my thinking mind. But when I do this it is not as peaceful, and not as joyful or as revealing.

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Gentle Healing Journal ReviewIII, Lesson 111 3-17-19

REVIEW III
Introduction

“But learning will be hampered when you skip a practice period because you are unwilling to devote the time to it that you are asked to give. Do not deceive yourself in this. Unwillingness can be most carefully concealed behind a cloak of situations you cannot control. Learn to distinguish situations that are poorly suited to your practicing from those that you establish to uphold a camouflage for your unwillingness.”

“Place the ideas within your mind, and let it use them as it chooses. Give it faith that it will use them wisely, being helped in its decisions by the One Who gave the thoughts to you.”

“In these reviews, we stress the need to let your learning not lie idly by between your longer practice periods.”

“If you are shaken, think of it again. These practice periods are planned to help you form the habit of applying what you learn each day to everything you do. Do not repeat the thought and lay it down. Its usefulness is limitless to you.”

“Do not forget how little you have learned.
Do not forget how much you can learn now.
Do not forget your Father’s need of you,
As you review these thoughts He gave to you.”

These are the things I want to remember during this review.

LESSON 111
(91) Miracles are seen in light.
(92) Miracles are seen in light, and light and strength are one.

I am happy to be reminded that while miracles are my right and my responsibility, I must look within to the light of holiness if I want to perform miracles and if I want the gift of miracles. There is only darkness when I look outward at the illusion for my solutions and my understanding.

As I consider my life as Myron and the world in general, it can seem impossible sometimes to even believe in miracles, much less receive and give miracles. But I am not depending on my small self for this, but in the strength of God that is in me.

Regina’s Tips
During meditation we are pay attention to the true Self (awareness).

Contemplation has a different purpose. Contemplation brings clarity to the mind, so that the mind can operate with wisdom instead of through ignorance. Contemplation provides the opportunity to learn from within yourself, to be guided from within yourself and to receive vision from within yourself.

Let’s take advantage of this third review to enhance our contemplation skills. That’s really what the review instructions are pointing to when they say, “Read over the ideas and comments that are written down for each day’s exercise. And then begin to think about them, while LETTING YOUR MIND RELATE THEM to your needs, your seeming problems, and all your concerns. PLACE THE IDEAS WITHIN YOUR MIND, AND LET IT USE THEM AS IT CHOOSES. Give it faith that it will use them wisely, being helped in its decisions by the One Who gave the thoughts to you.”

My Thoughts
I understand contemplation. That is what I often do with the lessons. I ask what it is I should learn from this, and then I let it come to me. It is sometimes profound. It is sometimes probably a combination of contemplation and thinking. During this study, particularly, I will start with a strong desire to leave thinking out of it.

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