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Study of Manual for Teachers 4-2-12

Day 93
5 The same procedures should be followed at night. Perhaps your quiet time should be fairly early in the evening, if it is not feasible for you to take it just before going to sleep. It is not wise to lie down for it. It is better to sit up, in whatever position you prefer. Having gone through the workbook, you must have come to some conclusions in this respect. If possible, however, just before going to sleep is a desirable time to devote to God. It sets your mind into a pattern of rest, and orients you away from fear. If it is expedient to spend this time earlier, at least be sure that you do not forget a brief period,-not more than a moment will do,-in which you close your eyes and think of God.

I am not as consistent with my ritual at night as I am in the morning. I feel the burden of my errors at night. It is as if every error of the day is weighing me down and exhausting me. Some evenings I only feel like hiding. I want to distract myself by reading or listening to a story. There is, of course, nothing wrong with reading a novel but the reason I am reading is to get away from my guilty thoughts.

I think this is the reason Jesus tells me to perform this procedure at night. The ego is very attracted to guilt and resists the idea of changing its night ritual of either thinking about all my sins or pretending there is nothing to think about which leaves me in a mild state of anxiety. Since I am hiding the reason for the anxiety from myself there seems to be no help for it.

I used to think that sleep was my only salvation from this. But sleep often became the playground of the ego, the place where ego played out all the defensive thoughts I buried in my mind during the day. In my sleep I was able to give full sway to the ego desire to defend and attack, and I used to have some pretty awful nightmares at times.

This doesn’t happen as often now. I seldom have really bad dreams anymore. I think that’s because I have had a lot of healing in my mind. In fact I sometimes dream of being taught by someone. I sometimes dream that I am teaching someone. Those times I wake up very happy, but a little frustrated because I almost never remember what it was that was being said, only the feeling of joy.

Jesus is giving me a very simple way to turn my mind away from fear. It asks only a moment of my time as I remember God, remember love, remember innocence. I have often asked that Holy Spirit teach me in my sleep and sometimes this is part of my nightly ritual. And now, of course, as I play the Course in the background as I sleep, the words penetrate and my rest is deeper and more satisfying, my dreams influenced by its ideas.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 4-1-12

Day 92
4 This course is always practical. It may be that the teacher of God is not in a situation that fosters quiet thought as he awakes. If this is so, let him but remember that he chooses to spend time with God as soon as possible, and let him do so. Duration is not the major concern. One can easily sit still an hour with closed eyes and accomplish nothing. One can as easily give God only an instant, and in that instant join with Him completely. Perhaps the one generalization that can be made is this; as soon as possible after waking take your quiet time, continuing a minute or two after you begin to find it difficult. You may find that the difficulty will diminish and drop away. If not, that is the time to stop.

Gary Arnold is a long time Course teacher and a friend. The last time I went to a workshop given by him he told me that he plays the Course at night while he sleeps, and he finds it very helpful. So I decided to try it. For a couple of weeks now, I turn on my iPod and fall asleep to A Course in Miracles.

It is absolutely penetrating my sleep. My dreams have changed and are often teaching dreams. Or they are dreams that are impacted by Course principles. I wake up to the Course and I lay there listening for awhile. In even this short time, I notice a depth to my understanding that was not there before, and an appreciation and gratitude for what is being said. I also wake up happy.

Another part of my morning routine is that after I make my coffee I sit down at my computer and open this document. I then get quiet and ask the Holy Spirit what He wants me to know about this paragraph. And then before I read the paragraph I sit for a moment or so allowing myself to feel my love for God.

These are my routines, at least for now. I remain open to change. I love this process but I am not attached to it. I love it because it makes me happy and it feels like guidance, but if I were to feel that it should change then that would be good too because I know that any change would be something that brought me peace and happiness. I trust that.

I spend the night in a hotel at least three times a week, and things happen. If I forgot to pack my iPod, or the internet was not working at the hotel, or something happened that I couldn’t have my routine, I don’t doubt that it would be ok.  I remain in God no matter what is happening in the story. The Holy Spirit is in my mind no matter what is happening in the story. I love my routine because it is helpful, but I know it is not vital to my awakening or to my happiness.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 3-31-12

Day 91
3 At the beginning, it is wise to think in terms of time. This is by no means the ultimate criterion, but at the outset it is probably the simplest to observe. The saving of time is an essential early emphasis which, although it remains important throughout the learning process, becomes less and less emphasized. At the outset, we can safely say that time devoted to starting the day right does indeed save time. How much time should be so spent? This must depend on the teacher of God himself. He cannot claim that title until he has gone through the workbook, since we are learning within the framework of our course. After completion of the more structured practice periods, which the workbook contains, individual need becomes the chief consideration. 

I was the most resistant person ever to complete the workbook, I think. I loved the text. I read it like a good novel and could hardly put it down. Sometimes I was thrilled with what I read. It was like it told me stuff I knew, but until that moment, didn’t know I knew. Sometimes it scared me. Sometimes I would stop in wonder that I believed all that I read. Why would I? And yet, I did.

The lessons, on the other hand, were a stumbling block. Or a stumbling boulder, maybe a stumbling mountain! I would do them without understanding, but do them non the less, until I got to a certain place and then I would stop. I did this over and over. I would stop for reasons I didn’t really understand, but would create reasons for. I didn’t do it right. I keep forgetting. I don’t have time. Its not really important. I often felt shame because I couldn’t seem to do this, and guilt because deep down I knew I didn’t want to do them.

I had been studying the Course for many years before I finally made the choice to give my focus to the Course. It was funny, really. There was no plan in the mind about how this would happen, no big moment in which I suddenly realized that I was no longer afraid to do the lessons, and that I was ready to truly become a teacher of God. It was quite un-dramatic, more like a switch being thrown. The mind made up stories about it, reasons for picking up the Course and choosing to study in a new way, but I feel strongly that it happened the way it did because it was time, that I was on a schedule completely outside the thinking mind.

I began studying the Course in 1981. I studied it and tried to live it, but, jeez, it was hard. Only once in a while did I have anyone to share it with and there were not the wealth of books and groups that we have today. The internet was not something we had at first, and even when we did, I was ignorant of it. It was very slow going for me, but when I made that choice, sometime in 1999 I think, to give my devotion to the study of the Course, I picked up the workbook, and for the first time ever, I went all the way through it.

I had discovered the internet, and that there were lots of other fellow students available to me now with whom I could study. There was a forum on Pathways of Light website and a small group of us studied together, sharing our daily struggles as we went through the workbook. It was the help and encouragement I needed to get through the lessons, and getting through the workbook changed everything for me.  I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone, but based on my own experience I can understand why Jesus says that we need to do the lessons. The text made me want to change, but doing the workbook lessons made this change possible.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 3-29-12

Day 89
16. HOW SHOULD THE TEACHER OF GOD SPEND HIS DAY?

1 To the advanced teacher of God this question is meaningless. There is no program, for the lessons change each day. Yet the teacher of God is sure of but one thing; they do not change at random. Seeing this and understanding that it is true, he rests content. He will be told all that his role should be, this day and every day. And those who share that role with him will find him, so they can learn the lessons for the day together. Not one is absent whom he needs; not one is sent without a learning goal already set, and one which can be learned that very day. For the advanced teacher of God, then, this question is superfluous. It has been asked and answered, and he keeps in constant contact with the Answer. He is set, and sees the road on which he walks stretch surely and smoothly before him.

Yesterday, and again this morning I feel the peace of knowing that I have a Purpose and that purpose does not need my help to be Itself. I am God’s Teacher. How would He have me be? Who would He have me see? What would God have me say? All I need to do is show up with a clear mind unencumbered by with a personal will. I can leave my lists behind. I can release my fear of forgetting something or making a mistake. God does not need my help with any of this. He needs only my desire to His Teacher.

What did that look like yesterday? I went to work. I saw my customers. I looked at my calendar to see who was next. I called ahead. When someone needed something I took care of their problems. I chatted with my customers. In other words, my day looked like any others.

How was it different? I had the thought that I didn’t need to be concerned that I was leaving late. My writing took longer than intended that morning, and I had a lot of customers to see, but I felt it would not be a problem. I trusted that writing as I felt prompted, and leaving when I felt prompted (rather than when my calendar said I needed to leave), was perfect. I didn’t need to know how that would work.

My first customer was going to be my most time consuming job, and when I called to let him know I was on my way, there was no answer. Problem solved. Without my help. I knew who I was supposed to see next, but I felt prompted to see someone else so I did that. He was on my calendar for another day but I trust that this was the person who needed to be in my life that day, right at that moment.

Every customer received my help and no one was left out. The day was beautiful and peaceful and happy. I got up very early and the day didn’t end until after 9:00. I was alert and unfazed by the long hours and enjoyed the evening meeting. People responded to me in a very positive way.

I had ego thoughts and when it happened I noticed how that felt. I responded in the way I felt to, and let them go without further attention. No guilt, for fear, no big deal.

The pain in my leg reminded me that pain is not real. I am in God; there is no pain in God; I cannot be feeling pain; it must not be real. In the past when something like that happened I felt fearful that I couldn’t handle this. I felt bad that I had the pain believing it to be some kind of punishment for wrong minded thinking. I felt hopeless when it didn’t go away. Yesterday I saw it as nothing appearing as something and trusted I would continue to receive its gift until I no longer needed it.

While I was at the meeting I felt the pull to join in gossip and political outrage that was going on around me. I noticed when I said something that was not part of my true purpose. I noticed how it felt. I stopped and moved on to something else. I didn’t feel bad or guilty. I didn’t feel any desire to berate myself for doing something wrong. I just didn’t want to do it anymore.

This is a very good way to live this life. I didn’t miss being in charge at all.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 3-28-12

Day 88
3 You who are sometimes sad and sometimes angry; who sometimes feel your just due is not given you, and your best efforts meet with lack of appreciation and even contempt; give up these foolish thoughts! They are too small and meaningless to occupy your holy mind an instant longer. God’s Judgment waits for you to set you free. What can the world hold out to you, regardless of your judgments on its gifts, that you would rather have? You will be judged, and judged in fairness and in honesty. There is no deceit in God. His promises are sure. Only remember that. His promises have guaranteed His Judgment, and His alone, will be accepted in the end. It is your function to make that end be soon. It is your, function to hold it to your heart, and offer it to all the world to keep it safe.

As I was reading Dying to Be Me and taking note of how fearful Anita was all of her life, I realized her fears mirrored mine. Until I read her words I never realized the extent of my fearful thinking. I have always been afraid of not measuring up, of not being accepted. I have been afraid of believing in myself and so have looked for someone else to be the authority. Now I see that I seem to be letting that go.

I notice that when I feel guided to speak truthfully to my children about my understanding, or when I think of them reading some of my writing, I don’t feel at all concerned about their opinion. That’s new for me. I noticed yesterday that I read something from an established Course teacher and knew in my heart that it did not resonate with me, and I didn’t question my understanding. I didn’t automatically feel defensive, or frightened that I could not trust my own understanding. That’s new for me.

More and more often I feel identified with my Self more than my self, and when this happens, I don’t feel immediately fearful nor feel the need to contract back into my small self again. I don’t feel the need to keep people from thinking I am being grandiose, and to keep their expectations for me smaller and more manageable. That’s new, too.

I am learning to trust God’s judgment, to know that I am still as He created me, to know that I am very holy. Anita says, in her book, that we are magnificent! Every time I think that word, magnificent, my heart opens to take it in. I feel the truth of that. I barely notice the fearful little ego voice warning me to be more humble. In the face of God’s judgment of me, I can laugh at the ego.

I feel so much gratitude for the study of the Manual for Teachers that I have been led to do, and for the Teachers for God that have been brought into my life. I feel grateful as I realize how my life unfolds effortlessly with each person, book, or practice that is given me at the moment I need it. I am grateful for the ease of it. I am grateful even when it feels hard, because I no longer doubt that this too will pass, and the truth will emerge in my mind unscathed by the ego attack.

I am particularly grateful for the many opportunities I have to share this journey and these insights. As I offer them to the world, I keep them safe in my heart.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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