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Gentle Healing Journal Day 29 10-17-18

Journal for Day 29
LESSON 29
God is in everything I see.

I really understand image making now. Since God is in everything I see, obviously, when I look with my eyes, I don’t see anything as it exists. Jesus tells us this often in the Course. He says that my thoughts are images I have made. He says that we didn’t give the eyes the function of seeing.  “It is image making. It takes the place of seeing, replacing vision with illusions.”

So I don’t see anything real with my eyes. I see images I make to represent the thoughts in my mind, the things I believe. I have this physical thing going on right now. What does this image of a malfunctioning body represent to me? Perhaps, it represents the belief that I am a body, or that I am destructible, vulnerable, fragile.

As I accept what Jesus has been telling us for the last 29 days, I can look at this situation differently. I understand that the body is just an image itself and that any experience it has must be a hallucination. Just part of the image that represents these beliefs and that the beliefs can be questioned.

If I drew a Picasso like image of my face with strange angles and colors, this would not mean I look like that. I would know that this was just an image that represented some thoughts in my mind. The world I see is no different. It is a strange image of strange and untrue beliefs. Doing these lessons is helping me to question what I see and thus to question the beliefs the images represent.

Ultimately, in my questioning, I am opening my mind to vision.  I repeat yesterday’s desire. Above all else, I want to see what is really there. As I allow my beliefs to be corrected and my mind to be purified, this will happen as it has happened to others like Regina and Cate and Byron Katie and John Mark Stroud and Michael Langford, and Alisha, and Jan Frazier and many others that I don’t know. If it can happen for anyone, it can happen for everyone because we are one.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Gentle Healing Journal Day 28 10-16-18

Journal for Day 28
LESSON 28
Above all else I want to see things differently.

“You see a lot of separate things about you, which really means you are not seeing at all.”

Well, there’s a clue for you. Haha. I definitely see lots of different things, so clearly, I am not seeing at all. As Jesus says, I am only image making. My thoughts are images I have made. I have thought for a long time now that all is light or energy that coalesces until it is dense enough to appear as something that I want to see with my eyes.

I know this is just a concept, a thought in the mind that wants very much to actually see, but it is given some weight now by George yesterday. He said that he actually asked a Tibetan lama what an enlightened person sees when he looks at a cup. He said that the person would see “only energy.” So maybe I have been right about that, but I don’t want to be right, I want to see the essence of things, what is actually there. Above all else, I want to see.

And what does it mean to see? Will I see with this body’s eyes this keyboard as it actually is? Or will I see with my mind, with my spiritual eye, what it actually is? When I asked Cate Grieves about this, she said that she sees the world as we made it when she looks with her eyes, though even that sight is getting thinner. What she sees with her mind is something else altogether. She sees nothing as separate from anything else and everything as part of her. Oh, I really do want to see above all else. But of course, I don’t really or I would already. But I want to want this above all else.

So what I must do is withdraw my preconceived ideas about the keyboard. I must not bind its meaning to my tiny experience of this keyboard. I must not limit it to my little personal thoughts. I am so sure that I know about this keyboard. Can I let that all go? It seems impossible and yet, Jesus said he would not ask me to do anything I could not do. And what will I get for my effort? For one thing, “It has something to show you; something beautiful and clean and of infinite value, full of happiness and hope.” Oh my God, what a thought!

Really, all I am being asked to do is to withdraw my judgment from this keyboard; but not just judgment as I usually think of judgment. This is judgment that goes beyond whether it is a good keyboard or a bad keyboard, a judgment of whether it is ascetically pleasing or if it is easy to use or has convenient options. No, this is judgment at its fundamental core.

I am judging its meaning and I am committing to withdraw that judgment; to admit I have no idea what this keyboard is any more than I know what anything is. Evidently, I still have a belief that I need this world I made to have meaning. But, I also have a belief that I am wrong about that. I have a belief that I no longer care about the world I see and that I want more than anything else to relinquish all value I have ever placed in it. I am willing for this and I will surrender to that desire.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Gentle Healing Journal Day 27 10-15-18

Journal for Day 27
LESSON 27
Above all else I want to see.

Above all else I want to see what is real. I want to see what the world is made of and how we constructed it. I want to see what it was supposed to be like before the detour into fear and guilt. I want to see what bodies look like when seeing them without using the body’s eyes. I want to see what it looks like to be one within One.

Above all else, I want to see us as God’s perfect and beautiful creation. I want to see each person I meet without the taint of guilt. I want to see them as if they had just been created out of Godness, untouched by anything not God. I want to see every person as they truly are, and I want to perceive my own perfection as well.

Above all else, I want to see how guilt could never ever have touched me, not in any of my many lives. I want to see the pristine innocence of all of creation. I am not a body; I want to see what it is that I am. I want my perception of all that is to be clear and unmarred by an illusory past or a projected future.

Imagine! What am I, God? I want to remember. I want to see. I am determined to see. Above all else I want to see.
I took a chance today and talked to someone who is not familiar with these ideas. As part of an ongoing conversation, I suggested that what I seem to be is not what I am. I said that I am created by God like Himself. I think she was still with me so far. I said that God would not have created me to be so fallible, so weak and vulnerable, so mortal. She was still with me though her expression shifted a bit toward confusion, but in for a penny, in for a pound.

I told her that either this body and its story are not what God created, or God is insane. We both agreed that probably God is not insane. So, I told her, this body and its story must not be who I am. She is with me again now, seeing the logic. I then told her that my job is to shed everything about me that is not like God and then the real me will be revealed. Some of the confusion cleared and a little light came on behind her eyes. We both agreed that revealing our true nature was possible and a whole lot easier than having to somehow become like God. Above all else I am determined to see the real me, the me that is like God.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Gentle Healing Journal Day 26 10-14-18

Journal for Day 26
LESSON 26
My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.

“And what would have effects through you must also have effects on you.”

All attack begins in my mind; it begins with the belief in attack. If I believe in attack as valuable, I will attack others in defense of myself. However, it is the belief in attack that makes me think I need defense, so even though it may appear as if the attack began outside me, it did not. It began in my mind that held the belief in attack and valued that belief.

“Nothing except your thoughts can attack you. Nothing except your thoughts can make you think you are vulnerable. And nothing except your thoughts can prove to you this is not so.”

If I want to be free of attack, it is essential that I accept the premise that attack begins and ends in the mind. I remember a story about Byron Katie. She was asked to do The Work in a country that was considered unstable and dangerous. Her friends were afraid for her and tried to talk her out of going. Katie had no fear because she knew that there was no harm in her so no harm could come to her.

This is freedom. And it is possible for all of us because it is our natural state. However, nearly all of us have a strong sense of vulnerability. Even as I have come to believe what Jesus says about this, that the vulnerability is not a fact but something we taught ourselves to believe, I still have attack thoughts. It takes great vigilance and determination to undo this kind of thinking.

This morning, I am waiting for a call from my doctor about my lab reports. I wonder what they will say and what that will mean for me. So this is one of the ideas I am practicing with. I am afraid they will indicate the necessity for surgery. I am equally afraid they will be inconclusive and leave me without a solution.

To be clear, I am not frantic or obsessed with this, but the idea is in my mind and is attacking my sense of invulnerability. One of the results is that I notice a tendency to project my unease onto the doctor’s office. If they would get back to me as they should have already, the mystery would be solved and I would feel calmer about it.

And yet, are the lab results necessary to my peace of mind? As Katie might suggest, “I want the lab reports to give me peace of mind? Why not cut out the middleman and give it to myself. Peace of mind is not dependent on anything happening, but on my decision to have it. It becomes clear that my upset is in my mind and so is the solution.

If I don’t hear something today, I will call the doctor’s office in case someone dropped the ball. But the outcome, one way or another is not the point. The point is that I am attacking my invulnerability with my attack thoughts. Whether I am attacking my peace of mind or I am attacking the doctor, it is all the same. Attack leaves me feeling vulnerable.

Additional thoughts
I used this example not because there is anything wrong with taking care of the body, but that I have been anxious to hear what the tests showed, and anxiety is an attack on my invulnerability. It says that I am at risk, that I am not safe.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Gentle Healing Journal Day 25 10-12-18

Journal for Day 25
LESSON 25

I do not know what anything is for.

The sentence that stands out to me in this lesson is that everything is in my own best interests. There was a time when I argued that point. How could being sexually abused as a child be in my own best interests? How could being sick and losing loved ones be in my own best interests? How could being impoverished be in my best interest?

I know now that the argument was not about any of those things, but rather that I simply did not want to give up the idea that I could finally discover a way to change the world so that it was kinder and gentler to me. I just hated the idea that not only was it impossible for me to change certain things but that on a different level, I was responsible for all that I experience. That desire to reject my responsibility extended to rejecting that I would have to change my thoughts if I wanted the world to be different, and it wasn’t going to happen tomorrow.

Once, I faced these objections and let them go, I looked at the fact that I judged all things according to how they affected my personal interests. I let that go, too as I realized that there is not actually a personal self in the sense that I perceived it. All things affect all aspects of the Sonship.

The Holy Spirit sees everything as either true or not true, whereas, the ego sees everything as either good or bad. So there was another area that I had to learn to see as the Holy Spirit sees. I had to learn that concepts are unimportant because nothing we think we know is absolute truth, it is only either helpful or not helpful.

As my mind has been purified a great deal, and as these ideas have been settled in my mind, it has become easy to see that everything is in my own best interests. If I care to use all situations for my awakening, I see that they are either helpful or not, true or not. I see that the personal story of Myron is really more of a parable than anything else and so it is a way to see what yet needs to be healed in the mind.

Yes, it does seem like there is a personal awakening going on here along with the awakening of the Sonship as a whole. And that is a good place to work from. It is the reason that Jesus tells us later that our only function is to accept the Atonement for ourselves. But as we each accept the Atonement, it is being accepted within the Consciousness of which we are all a part, and the Consciousness is being healed.

So as we each let go of the idea of personal interests and personal goals, and accept that our only goal is the peace of God, Awakening occurs on both levels. And everything that occurs within these interesting stories of life as a human brings us closer to that Awakening if that is our goal. If one is not yet ready to think about awakening, the life stories are helpful anyway as they bring each person closer to the day that they will be ready. There is, after all, a limit to how much pain we can withstand before we start looking for a better way. So everything really is in our best interests.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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