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Gentle Healing Journal Day 9. 9-11-18

Journal for Day 9
LESSON 9
I see nothing as it is now.

As I started to do the lesson, it felt silly to me. I’ve done this so many times, and I am past practice. I understand it now, I told myself. But, I am good at doing as I’m told and following directions, so I did the lesson. I got up from my chair and went into the other room to do it, thinking that I was tired of practicing on the same things.

A funny thing happened. I stood over my old recliner that I enjoy sitting in every day and I said that I do not see this chair as it is now. For a couple of minutes, I was confused. Why don’t I see this chair as it is now? Oh, yeah. Because I see only the past and my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts. So I stood there a few more moments and let my mind settle into now and looked at my chair.

Nothing extraordinary happened, but I at least for that moment my mind was not preoccupied with the past. I’m glad I didn’t just blow off this lesson as done without actually doing it. I’m glad I didn’t just go through the motions. I look forward to doing the lesson again later this morning. I open my mind to be enlightened about the things I see today.

NTI
Romans Chapter 2 gives my favorite explanation of the tiny mad idea. It describes the process we took to get to where we are now, emphasizing that it was play, curiosity, and nothing more. It was not creation so nothing we did changed reality.

“Imagine yourself with this idea, for this was the idea you had:
What if nothing was as it is?”
What if I could make something completely different,
and make it whatever I want?
What would that be like?”

If I look on the world I made from that point of view, there is nothing to fear and no grounds for guilt. What if I accept this viewpoint and begin looking on my “life” in this way? An interesting idea I am exploring and nothing more.

Then I read this:

“You needed a tool to create this experience that would allow you to explore. The building block that you made was judgment or decision and this became a new creative force. It allowed for experience without creation. And from judgment, experience was made.”

I understand now why it is we need to give judgment over to the Holy Spirit. In reality, in the Kingdom, judgment is unknown but here we need a bridge from what we made to what is real and the Holy Spirit provides that bridge. I judge something or someone and I change my mind and ask the Holy Spirit to judge for me instead.

He always judges everything the same way, either it is true or it is not true. He always judges us innocent because that is the truth. If I hold onto my own judgment, the world I made continues to exist in my mind, but so does hate and anger and fear and guilt and many more separation effects that will make my life hellish. If we made the illusion through the use of judgment, we will unmake it as we give up judgment.
.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Gentle Healing Journal Day 8. 9-11-18

LESSON 8

My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.

No one really sees anything. In Lesson 15 he will tell us that we think we use the eyes to see but that it is not real seeing, it is image making. Instead of seeing what is there, we see what we think. So if we are thinking of the past, which does not exist, then we are “seeing” an image of something that does not exist. The world we see with our eyes does not exist. It is an illusion.

I want to see what does exist. I want to see what is real. I won’t do this with my eyes because my eyes are not made for that purpose. But I will see with my mind what is real when my thoughts are real. I can find my real thoughts, the thoughts I think with God if I stop myself from being continuously preoccupied with past (unreal) thoughts. This is a really hard habit to break!

What I do is to decide that I am not interested in thoughts of the past and so when I notice this happening, I stop. I rest my mind and let it re-set. The chatter (which is always based on the past or the future) will start up again, but when next I notice it, I do the same thing. I rest my mind from the chatter. I notice that the chatter has slowed down and that I seldom give credence to what I hear now. Hopefully, this new way of being will become the norm instead of my previous preoccupation with the past.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Gentle Healing Journal Day 7

Journal for Day 7
LESSON 7
I see only the past.

I had a strange reaction to this lesson. As I looked at each thing that caught my attention and reminded myself that I see only the past in it, I watched a quick slideshow of images from the past. I look at my battered copy of NTI and I see myself at Regina’s house at the dining table sharing a meal with her and Jasmine and Danielle. I see a group sitting in her living room, read from NTI and discussing a passage.

I look at my calculator and I see images from the past, working with calculators. I see myself sitting in my mom’s accounting office, adding columns of numbers, talking to her once in a while. I see my string of Buddhist flags and my mind fills with images of the woman who gave them to me, especially being at her house with guests who have come to see her ordained.
It went like this for a while, but I also noticed that there was an emotional reaction that came to a head when I looked at my hands and saw images from the past. Holding my baby, cooking for my family, fumbling with tools for some little project, handing my welder his stick and then looking away as he applied it to the metal. So many memories in only an instant of time. But that wasn’t really the surprise.
The surprise was the emotion attached to these images. I felt like crying.

What is that about, Jesus?

Jesus: Endings. You see the past as if it is still there, a long carpet rolled out behind you, and you are sad that it is coming to an end. You are sad that you didn’t do more with the time you had, enjoyed it more, made more of a difference, made fewer mistakes. The past breaks your heart, and yet, you cling to it as if it were the treasure your heart longs to keep.

This is why you keep it before your eyes; you don’t want to let it go. But, dearest Sister, in so doing, you are repeating the same mistake. Tomorrow, you will look back on today and wonder where it all went. You will list the things you did to convince yourself that life happened, but you will not succeed. You will feel a sense of loss, just as you do now because you are not living life. Instead, you are constantly reviewing the past.

That is why I have given you these lessons and led you to them. I want you to love your life, not pass it by while you dream of the past. Do these lessons again. Do them with dedication and devotion and in joy. Forget about every other time you have done them. Revel in this moment only. You will be delighted at the discovery you will make. Thank you for asking me.

NTI
Luke 17
I think that Luke 17 is my favorite so far. I did study NTI for months, but it was a good while ago and I had forgotten how simple and easy to read it is.
Luke 17 begins by reminding us of what we learned in 16. He reminds us that judgment is what makes thoughts seem real and that believing these thoughts we use them to decide the meaning of everything.

Here is a paragraph I underlined.
“Based on God’s law, the Spirit of God is one. There is no separate one that can offend or hurt you. There is only a collection of thoughts, which you hold within your mind. Of themselves, the thoughts have no meaning. And so you feel offended or hurt based on what you think you know.”

As I read that paragraph, I think of Byron Katie’s counsel to question our thoughts. I think I know what something means and that assumption is based on past learning that might be true and might not. Almost without thinking about it these days, I question my beliefs; is that true, am I sure it is true. Just asking myself the question reminds me that these thoughts in my mind are meaningless and that I give them all the meaning they have for me and most importantly, I can change that meaning.

Now here is another really good part.

“So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is simply an acknowledgment of the truth of how the offense or hurt has come about. It has not come from your brother. It has come from the meaning you have applied to thoughts within your mind. Without this meaning, you could not be hurt.”

The Holy Spirit follows up this excellent definition of forgiveness with this advice:

“And the, forgiveness is taking this realization one step further by acknowledging you do not want to be hurt anymore. You acknowledge that the meaning that has hurt you is within the mind. You are the owner or believer in that meaning, and so you are also the one that can let go of any meaning you have applied. And when the meaning is let go, the offense or hurt must disappear also. What was made has been undone.”

This makes forgiveness so easy to understand. This is why I never look for the offender outside me. I, instead, turn inward and look at the thoughts in the mind that I have interpreted with the ego mind. I then ask the Holy Spirit to show me another way to see this. ACIM, C 30, Rules for Decision has an excellent process for when this seems hard to do.

I’m sure that I am not the only one who has asked (perhaps with some discouragement) when will my perceptions be healed? The Holy Spirit gives an interesting answer to this question. He says that healing is not a matter of when, not a matter of time at all, but it is a matter of willingness.

“Forget about time and the future. Focus on now and the thoughts that are in your mind now. Lay aside resistance now. Dismiss meaningless thoughts now. Focus on your willingness and nurture gratitude for being. This is the process that brings about the healing of misperception, and it is a process of now.”

“The kingdom of God is with you now. Do not let yourself be distracted away from it.”

Clearly, this is not hard to understand nor hard to do. It does require vigilance, dedication, and devotion. I am happy to give all of that. What else is there to do that means anything in this world?

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Manual for Teachers: 13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P4. 8-22-18

13. WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF SACRIFICE? P 4
4 God’s teachers can have no regret on giving up the pleasures of the world. Is it a sacrifice to give up pain? Does an adult resent the giving up of children’s toys? Does one whose vision has already glimpsed the face of Christ look back with longing on a slaughter house? No one who has escaped the world and all its ills looks back on it with condemnation. Yet he must rejoice that he is free of all the sacrifice its values would demand of him. To them he sacrifices all his peace. To them he sacrifices all his freedom. And to possess them must he sacrifice his hope of Heaven and remembrance of his Father’s Love. Who in his sane mind chooses nothing as a substitute for everything?

Journal
I cannot say how I will feel when I have completely given up all value of the world, but as I have some experience with this, I can extrapolate from that success and say that I believe what Jesus says here. I am not angry that we made the world or that we chose to have this experience. I don’t even regret it. I am ready to be through with it, but I don’t condemn it or any of those who are still interested in it.

But nor do I regret any part of it that I have given up already. I used to take great pleasure in winning. I loved competitive games. I enjoyed being better than others at my job. My last job was in sales, which is very competitive. It was a perfect job for someone like I was, and it was a perfect job to discover that winning didn’t have any real value and that it didn’t really make me happy. I don’t miss competing or winning at all.

When I began to do my job solely with a focus on being helpful, I enjoyed it more and so much of the stress fell away. It did not happen all at once and I had to work at it, but it was worth it. Work helped me to let go of other things I used to value, like projecting guilt. I used to think that finding someone to be guilty instead of me was quite literally my salvation. Now, I just notice the old habit trying to reestablish itself and I choose again. There is no value in guilt. Taking responsibility and making different choices is far better.

I can enjoy standing on the shore of a beach and listening to the surf. I can enjoy good music that stirs my soul. I can enjoy trees and the green of the grass and the vibrant colors of my zinnias, and at the same time, I can enjoy the stark beauty of the desert earth colors. I like movies and vacations and family gatherings and all manner of beauty in the world. And yet, I would not hold onto any of it. I suspect that there is something far more beautiful than what my eyes show me and that it is just waiting to be known.

Special relationships are maybe the most convincing prize the ego offers, and it is the one that still compels my attention. It is one of the few things that can draw me into the ego story so deeply that I still have trouble resisting. But even that fails to keep my attention completely, and, always, eventually, I turn from this false happiness. I remember that I can have a holy relationship instead and that it is the only kind of relationship I want. The relinquishing of the special relationship is not the sacrifice the ego claims it to be.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Text, C 15: X. The Time of Rebirth, P 1. 8-14-18

X. The Time of Rebirth, P 1
1 It is in your power, in time, to delay the perfect union of the Father and the Son. For in this world, the attraction of guilt does stand between them. Neither time nor season means anything in eternity. But here it is the Holy Spirit’s function to use them both, though not as the ego uses them. This is the season when you would celebrate my birth into the world. Yet you know not how to do it. Let the Holy Spirit teach you, and let me celebrate your birth through Him. The only gift I can accept of you is the gift I gave to you. Release me as I choose your own release. The time of Christ we celebrate together, for it has no meaning if we are apart.

Journal
Jesus is not free until we are, so we have the power to release him as we accept release for ourselves. This moment of release can be now or later. Why do we wait? Jesus says that it is the attraction of guilt. I saw the attraction of guilt in my own mind just this morning. I read something on Facebook posted by a friend. I didn’t like what I read and I felt irritated with her.

I asked myself why it was that I was irritated and I followed the thought to its root cause. As always when I do this, it was not about the other person at all. It was my own thoughts that were the cause of the perception I was holding about her. What I also noticed is that my irritation with her was another way of saying that I think she is guilty for what she wrote. So there is the guilt that Jesus was talking about.

I was strongly attracted to guilt in this case. I had noticed the same irritation before and thought I had released it, only to have it show up again today. The attraction to guilt is like the attraction of metal to a magnet. But like the metal that has been pulled to the magnet, guilt can be removed and as the magnet can be put away, the belief in guilt can be released.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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