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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 6. 10-5-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 6

6 No one in this distracted world but has seen some glimpses of the other world about him. Yet while he still lays value on his own, he will deny the vision of the other, maintaining that he loves what he loves not, and following not the road that love points out. Love leads so gladly! As you follow Him, you will rejoice that you have found His company, and learned of Him the joyful journey home. You wait but for yourself. To give this sad world over and exchange your errors for the peace of God is but your will. And Christ will always offer you the Will of God, in recognition that you share it with Him.

Journal
This morning I glimpse the other world. I follow love gladly because it feels so good! It feels like joy. It feels like I am supported and cared for. It feels like I am cherished. It also feels like I am something that I don’t remember, a mystery, but a mystery just only out of reach, something very close. There is this sense of happy anticipation.

I see the ego thoughts in my mind trying to pull me back to its world of separate beings with separate thoughts and separate goals. It reminds me of things I need to worry about, things that need my attention, things that are sure to go wrong. It wants to be angry and fearful. It wants to find the guilty party. It wants to overcome others and be the winner. It is dark and foreboding, the best of its gifts fleeting and unsatisfying.

But right now in this moment, I just don’t care about ego, and am uninterested in its offerings or its warnings. Just in this moment, I am carried by peace, by Love. And just this moment is the only reality that exists. In this moment is the Will of God, and in this one moment, I share it with Him. I have thought that the world had meaning and value and I sought for my place in it. And I suppose that this will happen again for awhile, but maybe not. Who knows, maybe I will follow Him gladly all day long, maybe all the way Home.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 5. 10-3-16

VII. ATTAINMENT OF THE REAL WORLD, P 5
5 You have been wrong about the world because you have misjudged yourself. From such a twisted reference point, what could you see? All seeing starts with the perceiver, who judges what is true and what is false. And what he judges false he does not see. You who would judge reality cannot see it, for whenever judgment enters reality has slipped away. The out of mind is out of sight, because what is denied is there but is not recognized. Christ is still there, although you know Him not. His Being does not depend upon your recognition. He lives within you in the quiet present, and waits for you to leave the past behind and enter into the world He holds out to you in love.

Journal
I love the sentence where Jesus tells us that all seeing begins with the perceiver. I will perceive according to my understanding, and according to my desire for one thing or another to be true. What I desire to see, I will see even if it is illusion and not really there. What I judge against, I will not see though it is there. So what I see in my world is only and always what I choose to see, what I want to see. When I first realized that was true, it was a startling revelation.

How is it that I came to see some of the pretty awful things that have shown up in this life experience of mine? They are here because I have misjudged myself. I have judged myself worthy of nothing else. How is it that my life has become more peaceful and loving? I have stopped judging myself as much, and have given that function back to the Holy Spirit where it belongs. And so I am beginning to accept my true nature, rather than the ego version I made to take its place.

My true nature is love, and acknowledging that nature, I have begun to see love everywhere. I feel loved, and I give love. I feel cherished and valued, and I cherish and value others. This used to be a rare feeling for me, and undependable, coming and going for no apparent reason, and often questioned and doubted even when it occurred. That seldom happens anymore.

When some little doubt tries to find a place in my mind, it usually withers before it can grow. Doubt and fear cannot grow where peace abides. When it does find a place in my mind, I begin to weed it out immediately, asking the Holy Spirit to purify my mind once again.

I have so often in the past struggled to see the Christ in another, to experience that elusive Christ Vision the Course talks about. I finally began to realize that Christ isn’t seen with the body’s eyes, and is not realized with the ego thinking- mind. Now I am opening my heart to the Christ within that has seemed absent to me only in my confusion. I open my heart to know the Christ in me, and this is the prerequisite to seeing it in others.

The Christ resides in a peaceful mind, in a loving mind. This peaceful, loving mind is in me and always will be, having been established in my creation. I become aware of it, as I desire it. I learn that I desire the peaceful loving mind as I turn from the ego offering of self-will, which inevitably bring chaos, drama, hatefulness, fear and guilt. The more often I choose God over ego, the more certain I become that this is the choice I want to make every time.

And speaking of time, I have learned something about this through experience. The Course tells me that time is not real and that past and future do not exist. It tells me that Loves Eternal Presence can be found only in this present moment. I have seen that this is true and so I know it. Because I know it as true, and because being in the presence of Love is a blissful experience, I choose this as often as I can.

I am still in the practice stage of making this choice, but just thinking about it brings tears of joy to my eyes, so I know I will continue to make the choice. It feels hard right now because my mind is so used to wandering to the past or the future. Keeping it in the present sometimes feels like I am herding cats. But I have already, even with such little effort that I have made, experienced the effects of this choice and so I will keep doing this until wandering away from the present moment is a rarity.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 4. 9-27-16

VII. ATTAINMENT OF THE REAL WORLD, P 4
4 Yet the real world has the power to touch you even here, because you love it. And what you call with love will come to you. Love always answers, being unable to deny a call for help, or not to hear the cries of pain that rise to it from every part of this strange world you made but do not want. All that you need to give this world away in glad exchange for what you did not make is willingness to learn the one you made is false.

Journal
Love always answers every call for help, whether it is a call from one who knows he or she needs help, or one from someone who doesn’t even know help is available, or even from one who asks even in denial that help is needed. Love is not confused by the form of the request. It knows what is needed and gives answer to the call. However, we must accept the answer. Love will not force Itself on us. We will not be aware of the answer we do not want.

When I was divorced the first time, I lost the privilege of receiving the sacraments of the Catholic Church. I took this as a rejection of God because I had not learned to separate the laws of Love from the laws of religion. I was very afraid and so I was very angry with God who I imagined had abandoned me. I spent about a year ranting and raving at God.

What God heard was my desire to be loved and accepted. This call for love, he answered. But it took me some time to accept the answer. When I was ready, the answer was there waiting for me. Interestingly, when I was ready to put my own feelings aside in an act of love toward another, I discovered a God I had not learned about at church, a good I could trust and depend on. I suppose that in giving love I was receiving love.

Sometimes I still slip back into the idea that God is like me rather than the truth that I am like God. God is not a person with an ego. He cannot be hurt or offended. He cannot judge or condemn. It is essential that I remember this or I will hate and fear God. Here is an idea that helps me to see God differently.

I think of God as more like the law of gravity than as a person. Gravity simply is. If I step off a cliff I will fall. Gravity did not do it to me, gravity simply was. If I was then laid up in the hospital recovering from my fall, I would not lay there berating gravity for my accident. I would not feel abandoned by gravity, angry with gravity, or afraid of gravity. I would not curse gravity. I would just realize that I ignored the law of gravity and my fall was the consequence, and I would decide not to do that again.

It is the same with God. God is Love and there are laws of Love just as there are laws of gravity. For instance, if I hold a grievance this is going to solidify my belief that I am what I projected onto my brother. As a result, I am going to be unhappy. God did not make me unhappy. God did not want me to be unhappy. God simply is, and when we ignore the law of Love, we take a tumble and it hurts. God did not stop loving me, and is not responsible for my tumble.  I am the one that stepped off that particular cliff.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 3. 9-26-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 3
3 You do not really want the world you see, for it has disappointed you since time began. The homes you built have never sheltered you. The roads you made have led you nowhere, and no city that you built has withstood the crumbling assault of time. Nothing you made but has the mark of death upon it. Hold it not dear, for it is old and tired and ready to return to dust even as you made it. This aching world has not the power to touch the living world at all. You could not give it that, and so although you turn in sadness from it, you cannot find in it the road that leads away from it into another world.

Journal
I am turning from this world, but Jesus, do I really do so in sadness? I want very much to find my way home. I want to look around and see the light and beauty that is the real world reinterpreted by the Holy Spirit. I want to look at each person and each place, at each thing and see only God expressed. I want to respond to what I see with joy and I want the peace of God, uninterrupted. So what is it that I find so important, of so much value that I would choose it instead?

As I think of this I let my mind wander to yesterday. I notice the times I felt happy. I was sitting with my boss and thinking what a kind man he is and how happy I am I finally chose to see that in him. Another time, I joined with two coworkers to discover the answer to a sticky problem. I felt so pleased to just be in their company and I felt our unity. Another time I was at the bank and a teller I was not using took the time to speak to me and seemed happy to see me, and I took the time to look into her eyes and I knew there was a joining

These were little things, but as I look on the day, it was moments like these that made it a happy day. They were moments of union, of shared purpose and of gratitude. So what happened during the day to pull me out of peace? Well, I feel myself being annoyed at a coworker and saying something “funny” about her to another coworker. As we laughed the day felt a little darker. Another time, an error was made and I saw the error and felt superior that I did so, and pointed to the error, and I lost the sense of union that is so essential to my happiness and peace.

I was grudging in my kindness at the restaurant because of judgments that I was making. I had a moment of thinking my boss was foolish in his decision, and another of wondering if someone else was silently judging me. I had a couple of times of thinking that my son needs to do something he is not doing and to stop other behaviors and felt really dark and heavy. I texted him advice but felt uncertain that I was doing so with guidance. I was definitely taking advice, but was it from Holy Spirit or was it from ego?

These little moments in the day point to what it is I value more than Heaven. It seems I would rather be well thought of, secure in my job, and feel superior, than to feel the touch of God. I would rather laugh at a coworker and gossip, I would rather judge than love, and I would rather accept the fearful ego interpretation of my sweet son than to let Holy Spirit show me his beautiful essence. I would rather act out of fear than to rest in trust and certainty.

How very strange it is to see the things I value over my joy and peace. I am grateful that I can see this so clearly because for most of my life I was oblivious. Now that I see it, I can change it. In fact, I see that scale is tipping. I was much more accepting and loving than I was judgmental, and though I did have moments of fear for my son, I had many more of faith and trust and certainty. Some days I wonder if I will spend eternity in this messy hell that I made, and those are dark days indeed. But those days are the exception now, as I am learning to love the light.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 2. 9-26-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 2
2 The world you see must be denied, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. You cannot see both worlds, for each of them involves a different kind of seeing, and depends on what you cherish. The sight of one is possible because you have denied the other. Both are not true, yet either one will seem as real to you as the amount to which you hold it dear. And yet their power is not the same, because their real attraction to you is unequal.

Journal
Here is how I am learning to deny the world I see. When I wake up and my first thought is, “Oh shoot, it’s Monday. I have to go to work,” I remind myself that this disheartening feeling is made up. There is no such feeling in the real world. Then I decide if I want to keep that gloomy feeling or allow a real feeling to express through me.

When I look in the mirror and see something I don’t like, something older and heavier and saggier than I want to see, I remind myself that this judgment is not reality. It is something I made up. It is a choice based on a false belief. Then I decide if I want to keep this judgment and believe in it. Or would I like to look in the mirror and see the reflection differently? I wonder how this could be, how could it feel. I don’t understand how it would work, but the truth does not need my understanding. All it needs is a wish, a desire to see differently

When I was with my son, and my eyes showed me his pain and suffering, his confusion and his depression, I had a choice. I could believe in what I was seeing, and for awhile I did. This belief showed me a bleak future for him. But I knew then as I know now, that I was not looking at the real world. There is a real world and I can see it if I am willing to look away from the world I made up.

For awhile I was mesmerized by the fearful world of the ego belief system, but peace called to me and after a few days of suffering I decided to allow that vision to fade away. When I did, I began to see something closer to the real world. I began to see my son, not as he sees himself, but as he truly exists.

Jesus tells us that every thought is a prayer. He tells us that our thoughts are images we have made. He tells us that every thought takes form on some level. He tells us that no one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision, and that nothing occurs but represents our wish, and nothing is omitted that we choose. He says that here is our world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for us. He says that we but do this to ourselves.

He says that what I see reflects a process in my mind, which starts with my idea of what I want. From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires, judges valuable, and therefore seeks to find. These images are then projected outward, looked upon, esteemed as real and guarded as one’s own. From insane wishes comes an insane world.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VI. Finding the Present, P 1. 8-29-16

VI. Finding the Present, P 1
1 To perceive truly is to be aware of all reality through the awareness of your own. But for this no illusions can rise to meet your sight, for reality leaves no room for any error. This means that you perceive a brother only as you see him now. His past has no reality in the present, so you cannot see it. Your past reactions to him are also not there, and if it is to them that you react, you see but an image of him that you made and cherish instead of him. In your questioning of illusions, ask yourself if it is really sane to perceive what was as now. If you remember the past as you look upon your brother, you will be unable to perceive the reality that is now.

Journal
I have really been practicing staying in the now and have small success, but I’m not giving up. I keep practicing. Here is another way to practice. I can start to notice my thoughts about the people in my life. Then I can notice if they have anything to do with the person I perceive in front of me at this moment, or if they are just past thoughts carried forward. And that is on the level of form, because if I saw him without any of my projections I would see his Divinity.

I am sometimes jarred from sleeping mind as I realize that I have been cherishing an image of a person rather than the person that they are. For instance, I have suddenly seen one of my children, really seen them, and realized that not only had I fixed in my mind an image of that one, but it was an image of my own making. It was really an image of my thoughts about that one. Those thoughts are no longer relevant, if they ever were, and if I keep cherishing them, I will not ever know this person I love.

As I think about this, the illusion I seem so fond of gets blurry and seems to waver. Could everything I have believed was real and indisputable be just images projected from my mind, just like Jesus has been saying? Ha ha ha. Yep. I was thinking about a friend of mine. There was a “fact” about her that I absolutely believed, and one day she said something that shattered that “truth” about her.

Again, I was startled to realize that I don’t really know this person either. I just know my thoughts and beliefs about her, just like I do with my children. How deep does this go? Is there anything about her that I didn’t make up through my I thoughts? Does everyone she knows have an image of her that is entirely different than mine? I know for sure that some of the people in her life think of her differently than I do. I can almost guarantee that she knows herself differently than I know her. I made her up out of my thoughts and beliefs and she made herself up out of her thoughts and beliefs. Gosh the world I see continues to shimmer in and out of focus.

And so now I have to ask myself if I am courageous enough to let the images go entirely so that I can see what stands behind them, what is actually real and true.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: II.The Two Emotions, P 110. 8-25-16

V. The Two Emotions, P 11

11 The Holy Spirit is the light in which Christ stands revealed. And all who would behold Him can see Him, for they have asked for light. Nor will they see Him alone, for He is no more alone than they are. Because they saw the Son, they have risen in Him to the Father. And all this will they understand, because they looked within and saw beyond the darkness the Christ in them, and recognized Him. In the sanity of His vision they looked upon themselves with love, seeing themselves as the Holy Spirit sees them. And with this vision of the truth in them came all the beauty of the world to shine upon them.

Journal
I really long for the day that I look within and see only Christ. When that happens, I will then look without and see only Christ. I will see that there is nothing but God. Oh holy day! I know this can and will happen. I have periods of time in which I feel perfectly at peace and in which I feel loving, loveable and loved. I feel so much love welling up in me and as me that it obliterates the ego darkness for awhile. So I know this can happen, and that it will happen and eventually the darkness will be a shadow of a memory.
In the meantime, I continue my process of noticing the dark thoughts and allowing them to be healed. I notice how my body feels and if it isn’t healthy and pain free I take that as a symbol of the unhealthy, painful thoughts in the mind and I ask for healing.

If I look at my bank account and notice it is dwindling, I watch my thoughts. Maybe I just wonder how the numbers will get larger and wait with curiosity and anticipation to see that happen. But if I get upset about the numbers then I recognize this upset as a fear of lack and loss and I bring that belief to the Holy Spirit to be undone.

If a relationship is imperiled I ask the Holy Spirit to look with me and see what it is I have done. Have I used this friend, or have I projected onto her or him? How does this relationship crisis make me feel? Am I sad or angry or maybe guilty? Does it trigger memories of relationships from the past that remained unforgiven? Whatever I find in my mind, I look at with Holy Spirit, and I accept healing to the best of my ability at this time.

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