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Study of Text, Chapter 13:IV. The Function of Time, P 9. 8-3-16

IV. The Function of Time P 9

9 You, too, will interpret the function of time as you interpret yours. If you accept your function in the world of time as one of healing, you will emphasize only the aspect of time in which healing can occur. Healing cannot be accomplished in the past. It must be accomplished in the present to release the future. This interpretation ties the future to the present, and extends the present rather than the past. But if you interpret your function as destruction, you will lose sight of the present and hold on to the past to ensure a destructive future. And time will be as you interpret it, for of itself it is nothing.

Journal
I have been working diligently at letting go of the idea that I must defend myself. As I look at what happens when I feel vulnerable and go on the attack, I see that I am teaching myself I am weak and that attack is my salvation. So I want to stop doing this. I also want to stop because in attacking I have made separate, and this is like walking in circles when I want to walk forward in a straight line.

My workplace has been an excellent classroom for that, and particularly one person. Monday I gave into the impulse to defend. It was very hard to back myself out of my anger. My mind said that my salvation was to justify the attack and this was making me feel worse. I finally reached a point of surrender and I accepted healing. I had hoped that it was fully healed, not to return.

Then yesterday I was talking to someone that had been my “venting buddy” someone I went to when I wanted to belly ache about what was bothering me. Automatically I started telling him what happened with this co-worker and what I said and even as I was doing it, I could hear my sane self trying to get my attention.

But it was kind of like a train wreck you can’t stop. You just look at it happening. It was weird. I am talking and at the same time thinking that I should stop talking. Then I felt bad about this. I was making the problem real in my mind again and at the same time, I was teaching dissention and judgment. I was not being a teacher for God in that moment.

The point I want to make is this. The day I attacked, and the day I vented were just ego moments occurring in the illusion of separation. I attacked. I vented. I then had a choice of what I wanted to do with this. I could undo these ideas in my mind through recognizing that I don’t like how I feel and asking for another way to see them. Or I could think about how bad I feel and worry that I never seem to get rid of the desire to defend. I could feel guilty and hopeless and helpless against my own inclination toward blame and anger.

The first choice, to simply use the story to undo the story, is the quick way to salvation. The other choice to wallow in the error is what Jesus is talking about here in this paragraph. When I do this, I am carrying the past right through the present to the future. I am keeping time in place and keeping the ego in place. As I did this, I was using time to ensure ego continuity.

The Holy Spirit uses time to heal and thus undo the need for time. This is done in the present moment, but my mind went straight from the past to the future leaving no present moment in which healing could occur. It was attack in the past, remembered and regretted and fretted over, and the battle continues as I dread having to face this in the future. I felt a powerful pull toward this option and even this morning, I feel sad about yesterday. But I am also a little saner today. Last night I asked for help. I told Holy Spirit I really want to stop doing this.

So this morning I am using the Rules for Decision to help me change my mind about this. I chose the ego this week, but that was in the past and the past doesn’t exist. I was thinking of those big street cleaners that in the early morning hours sweep away the detritus from the day before and leave everything clean. I have this big machine following me around sweeping away the past actions. Nothing follows me, nothing is left behind. A moment after it occurs it is gone.

This moment is the only moment that exists and this moment is the only one in which I can forgive. It is the only moment that I am healed. I accept healing and allow my mind to be filled with the thoughts of God and I know that I am invulnerable and have nothing in this world worth defending. I know that everyone is dreaming and, as my friend pointed out yesterday, I will be respectful of their lessons. And so I enter the next moment with a new mind, and nothing else is there. It has been swept away.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: IV. The Function of Time, P 8. 8-1-16

IV. The Function of Time, P 8

8 The ego, on the other hand, regards the function of time as one of extending itself in place of eternity, for like the Holy Spirit, the ego interprets the goal of time as its own. The continuity of past and future, under its direction, is the only purpose the ego perceives in time, and it closes over the present so that no gap in its own continuity can occur. Its continuity, then, would keep you in time, while the Holy Spirit would release you from it. It is His interpretation of the means of salvation that you must learn to accept, if you would share His goal of salvation for you.

Journal
I must accept the Holy Spirit’s interpretation of the use for time if I want salvation. Here is what I envision salvation to be. I will live this illusion in fearlessness, in love, and in peace. I will live in the present moment only and will be free of the tyranny of the ego. I will use that part of the mind rather than it using me. Then, when it is time, I will leave the illusion altogether and permanently. I will no longer be subject to death and rebirth only to die again. I will be in God and part of God and will not imagine it could be any other way.

So how do I get to that freedom? How does salvation become my goal? Jesus gives us various processes we can use to undo the belief that the ego mind is me and is my only option. What they seem to lead me to is this: I am His Son and He loves me. I am dreaming of something else and I can dream a happy dream and I can stop dreaming altogether. I dream of suffering and death when I believe the ego interpretation of circumstances. I dream a happy dream when I believe the Holy Spirit’s interpretation of circumstances.

Two simple things that help me to make this mental leap are surrender and the uncompromising choice for peace. The more completely I surrender the self, the body, the desire to control, the easier it is to do the rest. Time is no different. I surrender time to the Holy Spirit to use as He wishes and I win. I ask ego how to use time, and I lose.

The peace of God is everything I want. These were just words at first, but then they became my salvation. I still choose to ignore this desire for peace at times, but I always return to it, because it is true. I want the peace of God and I want nothing else. I start to think that I want more money or more time to myself, or I want my children not to suffer.

I start to think I could be happy if I had different circumstances in my life. I start to think that I know what is best for those I love and that I can only be happy if these things happen. Then I remember that the peace of God is everything I want. My mind narrows to this one idea and I let the rest go. I want the peace of God. I remember that all those other things I thought I needed to have were supposed to bring me peace.

First of all, I am not very good at deciding what brings peace, and secondly, even if I were right, I cannot make most of these things happen. So if I must depend on my own poor ability to control, and if I must depend on the ego to guide me, I will not find lasting and perfect peace. If, however, I surrender the desire for peace to God, I will receive peace. Easy choice, easy solution, whatever the ego argues to the contrary.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: IV.The Function of Time, P 7. 7-629-16

IV. The Function of Time P 7

7 It is evident that the Holy Spirit’s perception of time is the exact opposite of the ego’s. The reason is equally clear, for they perceive the goal of time as diametrically opposed. The Holy Spirit interprets time’s purpose as rendering the need for time unnecessary. He regards the function of time as temporary, serving only His teaching function, which is temporary by definition. His emphasis is therefore on the only aspect of time that can extend to the infinite, for now is the closest approximation of eternity that this world offers. It is in the reality of “now,” without past or future, that the beginning of the appreciation of eternity lies. For only “now” is here, and only “now” presents the opportunities for the holy encounters in which salvation can be found.

Journal
Can you imagine how quiet and serene the mind would be without past and future thoughts intruding? What would I think about? Exactly! Quiet. Serene. And here is something else that happens. Without the past coming into the future, there is love. I didn’t know that. Yesterday I wrote about the holy encounter I had with a man at the conference. He used to be my “enemy” because we were in competition.

I let all that go when I stopped believing we needed to be enemies. I didn’t forgive him for anything. He did nothing to forgive. I didn’t forgive myself. I was innocent, too. I just forgave the false beliefs I was holding. I forgave the idea I had to keep the future alive with these beliefs. Then we had a lovely meeting of the minds, and walked away changed.

Here is the other thing. When I let go of the idea I had of him based on past beliefs, I felt drawn to him, and I felt the attraction of love. We only spoke for a couple of minutes, but in that time I loved him as a brother and when I think of him now, that same feeling is rising up in me. I want to live like that. I want to be in love with everyone. I can do this if I forget the past and disregard the future, if I live only in the reality of now.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: IV.The Function of Time, P 6. 7-28-16

IV. THE FUNCTION OF TIME P 6
6 The shadowy figures from the past are precisely what you must escape. They are not real, and have no hold over you unless you bring them with you. They carry the spots of pain in your mind, directing you to attack in the present in retaliation for a past that is no more. And this decision is one of future pain. Unless you learn that past pain is an illusion, you are choosing a future of illusions and losing the many opportunities you could find for release in the present. The ego would preserve your nightmares, and prevent you from awakening and understanding they are past. Would you recognize a holy encounter if you are merely perceiving it as a meeting with your own past? For you would be meeting no one, and the sharing of salvation, which makes the encounter holy, would be excluded from your sight. The Holy Spirit teaches that you always meet yourself, and the encounter is holy because you are. The ego teaches that you always encounter your past, and because your dreams were not holy, the future cannot be, and the present is without meaning.

Journal
I had a remarkable experience of allowing the mind to slip out of the past and into the present, and in so doing, I had a holy encounter. I ran into a competitor at the recent conference. I had always avoided him because he represented danger to me. He could take my customers and I felt this would diminish me. So he was the enemy and to be defended against. Even when he was nice, I distrusted his behavior and felt like it was a ruse to get me talking and to reveal something he could use against me.

All this to say that I had a belief about him and I carried it around, never questioning it and so never letting it be healed. Thus I had no idea of who he was in any one moment. How could I? I shielded myself from this opportunity to know him by choosing to believe the past was real. But last week something happened because I have been practicing the Rules for Decision so vigilantly that they have become natural and automatic.

I was walking down the aisle at the conference, checking out the vendors there and what they had to offer. I ran into this competitor and suddenly saw him without my past beliefs intruding on the situation. I waited for a moment to speak to him alone not knowing what I would say, only knowing that this was not my competitor, but my brother.

When I had the chance to speak to him, I told him I was retiring soon and wanted him to know that I held him in high regard. Those were not my exact words which I cannot really remember but it is the essence of the conversation. He looked very surprised and also pleased. We shook hands and went on our way, forever changed. I am so blessed to have had that holy encounter instead of staying stuck in false beliefs of a past. Thank you, Jesus for A Course in Miracles. Thank you, my brother, for your love and your help.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: IV. The Function of Time, P 5 7-26-16

IV. the Function of Time, P 5

5 “Now” has no meaning to the ego. The present merely reminds it of past hurts, and it reacts to the present as if it were the past. The ego cannot tolerate release from the past, and although the past is over, the ego tries to preserve its image by responding as if it were present. It dictates your reactions to those you meet in the present from a past reference point, obscuring their present reality. In effect, if you follow the ego’s dictates you will react to your brother as though he were someone else, and this will surely prevent you from recognizing him as he is. And you will receive messages from him out of your own past because, by making it real in the present, you are forbidding yourself to let it go. You thus deny yourself the message of release that every brother offers you now.

Journal
I have looked at this idea before. I think of my nephew and I have certain ideas about him. One time he asked me to give him some time to talk to me. I looked at my schedule and saw that I only had free time early in the morning. I thought about how he hates to get up early and so would not like this time slot. I mentioned that to him and he was surprised I still believed that about him. He reminded me he is no longer that teenager who stayed up all night and slept in. I had a picture of him in my mind based on past behavior and was bringing that picture into the present. I cannot know who he is if I am looking at who he was.

Another example I can think of is that I have an on again, off again student. When we first started talking, and for a long time, he was a beginning student. He got the concepts, but without practice of those concepts, he still acted as he had before he read the Course. One time later he called to talk to me about something particular and I started answering his questions based on my past knowledge of him.

Then Holy Spirit woke me up to his responses. He was not the same person he used to be. I was stuck in the past, and was missing the beauty of the present. I was speaking to who he used to be, not who he became, and so I wasn’t really talking to him at all, nor was I hearing all he had to teach me. It was a good lesson I did not forget.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: IV. The Function of Time, P 4. 7-25-16

IV. The Function of Time, P 4

4 The ego has a strange notion of time, and it is with this notion that your questioning might well begin. The ego invests heavily in the past, and in the end believes that the past is the only aspect of time that is meaningful. Remember that its emphasis on guilt enables it to ensure its continuity by making the future like the past, and thus avoiding the present. By the notion of paying for the past in the future, the past becomes the determiner of the future, making them continuous without an intervening present. For the ego regards the present only as a brief transition to the future, in which it brings the past to the future by interpreting the present in past terms.

Journal
I must believe in guilt for the ego to continue to exist. I keep guilt in place by keeping the past alive in my mind. I have noticed that my mind is filled with guilty thoughts of things that occurred in the past; times when I spoke harshly, gossiped, behaved badly, was unkind and uncaring. I barely blink at the present because I am obsessed with the past.

The thought that keeps the ego in place is that if only I can be good enough now, I will compensate for the bad I did before. All the time, I am reinforcing the past, reinforcing the belief that I sinned and am therefore bad. Who has time for a present when I am so busy looking back. Where is my mind? If it is not in the now moment, I am not in the now moment, and if I am not there, it does not exist for me. If I am looking at a sinful self, I am, in my mind, guilty and therefore the ego continues to exist for me. Clever ego.

I am ready to question my use of time. I have always thought time was for the purpose of preserving the past and for keeping the ego self in place. The ego sees the present as a time to interpret the present in past terms. For instance, I have someone at work who seems difficult to me and I think this is a problem. Why? Because she is like someone I used to know and the other person was a problem. It took awhile for me to let that past grievance go, and so it will take awhile for me to let this one go. Looking at it with more clarity, I see that I have brought the past into the future by deciding on things according to what happened before. I even remember thinking, “Oh no, not this again.”

I think, though, that I may have been wrong and perhaps there is another use for time. I will begin the new practice by noticing the mind’s tendency to wander into the past, and bring it back to the present. In this case, I will notice when I am judging and will look with fresh eyes on what is before me, rather than corrupting the present by comparing her to what used to be before me. I have approached this idea before, and it failed because I was not ready. I had so much guilt in my mind that I did not think I was worth this consistent effort. It seemed too much and after trying for a while, I let my mind have its way.

I think now that I am ready to do this. I am ready to approach this issue again, and this time from the perspective of the ego attempt to continue to exist. It is not my guilt that must be undone, but the ego belief in my guilt. I cannot be guilty because I was not created guilty. This is equally true of my coworker. I am simply looking at a tiny mad idea and remembering to laugh at it. I know this can be done. I know I can do it. I feel resistance as I say this, but it is not my resistance, only the ego’s. I am not the ego; I am God’s holy Son.

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Study of Text, Chapter 13: IV. The Function of Time, P 3. 7-22-16

IV. The Function of Time, P 3

3 Under the circumstances, would it not be more desirable to have been wrong, even apart from the fact that you were wrong? While it could perhaps be argued that death suggests there was life, no one would claim that it proves there is life. Even the past life that death might indicate, could only have been futile if it must come to this, and needs this to prove that it was at all. You question Heaven, but you do not question this. Yet you could heal and be healed if you did question it. And even though you know not Heaven, might it not be more desirable than death? You have been as selective in your questioning as in your perception. An open mind is more honest than this.

Journal
I think that my mind is more open and more honest than this. I think that I have no fear of death, and that I have no belief in death. I think that I know that what we call death is just another stage of the illusion. I think that there is nothing to fear in this, just another waste of time. I think that I understand that there is Life and that I can remember it and return my awareness to it, and that this is what I am doing through the study and practice of A Course in Miracles.

I say, “I think” I know all this because I can only know for sure as I face each stage. It feels right to me, though. And by that I mean it feels right in my heart, not my head. I asked Jesus if there was more he wanted me to know about this. He brought to my mind that I am not experiencing death once per incarnation, but over and over. Each time I hold onto a grievance, each time I fall into fear or guilt, each time I attack or defend, I die to any idea of life. What is not of God is not Life. I move toward Life eternal as I use time to undo these beliefs in death.

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