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Study of Text, Chapter10: I. At Home in God, P 3. 5-7-15

I. At Home in God
2 You are at home in God, dreaming of exile but perfectly capable of awakening to reality. Is it your decision to do so? You recognize from your own experience that what you see in dreams you think is real while you are asleep. Yet the instant you waken you realize that everything that seemed to happen in the dream did not happen at all. You do not think this strange, even though all the laws of what you awaken to were violated while you slept. Is it not possible that you merely shifted from one dream to another, without really waking?

Journal
This morning, I lay in bed thinking about my dream. I remembered it clearly, but I did not for a moment become confused about it. It was a dream I had while asleep, and while it sure seemed real, now I am not asleep and I know it wasn’t real. It was kind of interesting to think about but I am not going to suddenly believe it actually happened.

How do I know for sure it wasn’t real? For one thing, it violated all the laws of the world. In it gravity was only a suggestion and easily ignored. I was driving a car and then I was still moving along, but there was no car. I was me, then I was someone else.

Jesus is asking me to consider this: what if I didn’t really wake up at all? What if I just went from one dream to another? I am pretty certain now that this is all that happens. I am dreaming right now as I write in my journal. How do I know I am dreaming even while I tell myself I am awake? My experience of being awake ignores all the laws of Heaven.

In this story I am separate from my brothers; I am not perfectly happy: I suffer and I die. None of this makes sense in Reality, so I must be dreaming. Have you ever experienced lucid dreaming? A lucid dream is any dream in which one is aware that one is dreaming.

Several years ago I had a very bad dream, a terrible nightmare. Since then I have had that dream try to replay, but when it does, I either wake myself up or I redirect the dream. I say no, and the dream changes. That is an example of lucid dreaming. I have also had a simple awareness that what is happening is a dream. I have told myself in my dream that I am just dreaming.

This is beginning to happen in my waking dream, that state that I call life. I am dreaming this story of Myron and it is becoming a lucid dream. Not all the time, but sometimes. And if it is happening sometimes, I know that it will begin to happen all the time. I encourage that progression as I practice the Course.

Doing the Lessons this year is extremely helpful. I seem to have shifted into a sharper clarity and the lessons are clearer and more meaningful than ever before. Reading “The End of Death” by Nouk Sanchez has helped a great deal. Now I am also reading “A Course of Love” and that is helping as well. The Holy Spirit is leading me to whatever will help me realize that I am dreaming and it is time to wake up.

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Study of Text, Chapter 10: THE IDOLS OF SICKNESS, I. At Home in God, P 1. 5-6-15

Chapter 10: THE IDOLS OF SICKNESS
I. At Home in God
1 You do not know your creations simply because you would decide against them as long as your mind is split, and to attack what you have created is impossible. But remember that it is as impossible for God. The law of creation is that you love your creations as yourself, because they are part of you. Everything that was created is therefore perfectly safe, because the laws of God protect it by His Love. Any part of your mind that does not know this has banished itself from knowledge, because it has not met its conditions. Who could have done this but you? Recognize this gladly, for in this recognition lies the realization that your banishment is not of God, and therefore does not exist.

My ACIM group and I were discussing our creations, and as most of us do, wondering about them. In one section of the Course they are referred to as our Extensions. So we decided that since God is Love and He created us through extending Himself, we are Love and we created through extending ourselves. Our creations must be Love also.

To be honest, it is hard to relate to this because I don’t know what I am, really. I can say I am Love, but what does that mean? I have read in the Course that my creations love me and I love them, and this touches something in me and feels true. It makes me want to remember them and return to them. But as long as I am attached to the illusion I made, which is the opposite of Reality in every way, I cannot know my creations because I would reject them as I do all of Reality.

To reject is to attack and Jesus says that it is impossible to attack what I created. This is why I cannot know my creations now. My creations are perfectly safe because they are part of me and it is not possible for creation to be harmed. Just as I cannot harm my creations, God cannot harm me. This alone, if I could completely accept it, would undo guilt in my mind, and undo the fear of God, which keeps us bound to this illusory state.

It is important for me to know that I but do this to myself. I choose what I believe, and I have chosen a belief that I am banished from God. The reason it is important to know that I did this to myself, is that as long as I think God banished me I will be reluctant to accept that He loves me. I will remain afraid that I did something unforgivable and the idea of returning to God will be a fearful thought in my mind. The truth is, God could not have banished us, and therefore we are not banished. We only dream of banishment. It is time to wake up.

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Study of Text, Chapter10: THE IDOLS OF SICKNESS, Introduction P 3. 5-5-15

Introduction P3
3 God does not change His Mind about you, for He is not uncertain of Himself. And what He knows can be known, because He does not know it only for Himself. He created you for Himself, but He gave you the power to create for yourself so you would be like Him. That is why your mind is holy. Can anything exceed the Love of God? Can anything, then, exceed your will? Nothing can reach you from beyond it because, being in God, you encompass everything. Believe this, and you will realize how much is up to you. When anything threatens your peace of mind, ask yourself, “Has God changed His Mind about me?” Then accept His decision, for it is indeed changeless, and refuse to change your mind about yourself. God will never decide against you, or He would be deciding against Himself.

Journal
I, as Myron, cannot actually wrap my mind around the idea that I am like God, and part of God. But I, the I that is not the ego, is beginning to accept this. No matter how much sense this paragraph makes, the thinking mind can only understand the concept, but cannot know it. I am beginning to know it because I open my heart to it. I step back as a thinker and I allow the Holy Spirit to awaken me. I am beginning to remember.

I still fall back into the ego. In fact, I feel like I jump back and forth all the time. But I know something monumental is happening. I read a paragraph like this and I believe what it says and I feel joy rising up in me. I go into the world and I fail to live it, but I am aware of it and that awareness changes everything. I get angry, but only briefly. I get worried or upset, and then I laugh at myself. So I know the healing is taking place.

I love the idea that today I am going to question anything that I allow to rob me of peace. “Has God changed His Mind about me?” That is all I need to do, I just question and choose to be wrong about whatever it is I brought into my life that threatens my peace of mind. Because I know now that I am the cause of all that happens in my world, I know that I am the one that chooses against it. Then the Holy Spirit can then undo what I have done.

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Study of Text, Chapter10: THE IDOLS OF SICKNESS, Introduction P 2. 5-4-15

Introduction P 2
2 God created nothing beside you and nothing beside you exists, for you are part of Him. What except Him can exist? Nothing beyond Him can happen, because nothing except Him is real. Your creations add to Him as you do, but nothing is added that is different because everything has always been. What can upset you except the ephemeral, and how can the ephemeral be real if you are God’s only creation and He created you eternal? Your holy mind establishes everything that happens to you. Every response you make to everything you perceive is up to you, because your mind determines your perception of it.

Journal
I am as God created me, and I am this eternally without exception. I am like God because God created me like Him. Nothing that is unlike God exists. “Nothing beyond Him can happen, because nothing except Him is real.” So all the things I see and do and believe cannot be real if they are unlike God. I must be dreaming, living an illusion.

Because of what I am as God’s Son, I can choose to experience even that which is not real. If I am experiencing something, it is because I chose to do so.  My holy mind establishes everything that happens to me. My responses to what happens to me are determined by my perceptions and my perceptions are determined by my mind. I am completely responsible in every way for all that I see and how I see it.

Perhaps at one time this would have felt oppressive. I do remember feeling overwhelmed at times and asking Holy Spirit to help me. Two things happened that helped me to see it all differently, and to accept the responsibility that is clearly mine. The first was that I realized I am responsible for the world I see, but I am not guilty for it.

The only reason I was running from the responsibility, trying to project it onto others is because I thought I was guilty. It was the guilt that was oppressing me, not the responsibility. Once I realized that I could not be guilty, and could accept at least to some degree that I am the completely free Son of God and can have any experience I want, I felt the burden of guilt lift and I could breathe again.

Once I was not afraid of my responsibility I could see that this knowledge was my salvation. If I am responsible for everything that means I can change my mind and undo what has been done. If my holy mind established everything I presently see, it can establish that which I now prefer to see. I do this through the Holy Spirit in my mind.

And that brings me to the second really important understanding. I do not heal my mind; the Holy Spirit does that on my behalf. I have an essential role to play, and that is to understand I need healing and then to desire and accept that healing. The rest is accomplished without my help. I think of this as setting aside all thinking, all active participation. I sit quietly in God and invite healing to take place. I open to healing and I allow it to happen.

It sounds so easy, and it is easy. Yet, I still see lots of resistance. I see the ego mind trying to take a bigger part. I see fear that nothing this easy could be valuable. I see myself choosing to stay in the story, find a solution there, being the one who succeeds. But I also see myself returning, over and over, to that quiet place in my mind, inviting the truth to join me there.

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Study of Text, Chapter 9, VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 11. 4-29-15

VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 11
11 Yet if truth is indivisible, your evaluation of yourself must be God’s. You did not establish your value and it needs no defense. Nothing can attack it nor prevail over it. It does not vary. It merely is. Ask the Holy Spirit what it is and He will tell you, but do not be afraid of His answer, because it comes from God. It is an exalted answer because of its Source, but the Source is true and so is its answer. Listen and do not question what you hear, for God does not deceive. He would have you replace the ego’s belief in littleness with His Own exalted Answer to what you are, so that you can cease to question it and know it for what it is.
Journal
I don’t know what to say about this. Jesus wants me to ask the Holy Spirit what I am and to believe His answer rather than my own. I cried as I read this. I cried because I want the answer. I want to know what I am. I cry that I am not the little self that the ego wants me to believe in. In fact, I am something else altogether, something very different. Mostly I cry because I am afraid to ask. What if I don’t hear anything at all?

Jesus told me to ask anyway, and suggested I simply allow the answer to come as it will and when it will. He said to open my heart to the answer and then step away from both question and answer. Step away and trust. I trust that the answer will be exalted because of its Source and that it will be true, because of its Source. I trust that I will receive an answer because it is my true desire to know my Self.

I see the wisdom in stepping aside now that the question has been asked. It is still too easy for me to slip back into the ego thinking mind and that is not going to bring me an answer. It will only interfere with it as the ego adds its own confused thoughts. I know the concept of what I am, but what I want is a true knowing, not just an idea I am willing to embrace, but a knowing that goes all the way to the Heart, to the center of my being. I gladly release the personal self I made so that the Self can take its place. I am willing, and where my will is not strong, I am willing to be willing

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Study of Text, Chapter 9, VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 10. 4-28-15

VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 10
10 You are altogether irreplaceable in the Mind of God. No one else can fill your part in it, and while you leave your part of it empty your eternal place merely waits for your return. God, through His Voice, reminds you of it, and God Himself keeps your extensions safe within it. Yet you do not know them until you return to them. You cannot replace the Kingdom, and you cannot replace yourself. God, Who knows your value, would not have it so, and so it is not so. Your value is in God’s Mind, and therefore not in yours alone. To accept yourself as God created you cannot be arrogance, because it is the denial of arrogance. To accept your littleness is arrogant, because it means that you believe your evaluation of yourself is truer than God’s.

Journal
I think this paragraph is the clearest yet. Jesus tells us that it is not arrogance to accept myself as God created me. Quite the opposite, actually. True arrogance is insisting that I have changed Reality. I have made myself different than God created me. I used to think that this was possible because God gave me free will.

Now I understand that I am free to have any experience I want, but I am not free to change the unchangeable.  I think of it like this. I am free to break the law, but I am not free to change the law. I am free to jump off a mountain, but I am not free to suspend gravity. In the same way, I am free to play the part of a separate body in a world of separation, but I am not free to change God.

Jesus is helping us to remember that God is whole and indivisible. He is eternal and unchangeable. We are so accustomed to the shifting changing nature of the world we made, that it is hard for us to grasp the unchangeable, but this is the nature of Reality. We are part of God, and there is nothing that can alter that. We are irreplaceable in the mind of God. The Voice for God reminds us of this truth.

Our extensions are held safe in the Mind of God as well. They wait for our return. Do you begin to understand what you are as you read this? Do you get just a tiny taste of your grandeur? I sit here in the quiet and peace of early morning and I contemplate my grandeur. It seems odd to think of myself this way, but if this is God’s Will for me then it must be true.

I can imagine this life of Myron as a story unfolding in my mind. I can participate in the story while remembering that it is not a true story, just imagination. Then I get up from my desk to get dressed. I realize I can’t wear my favorite pants because I gained weight, and I feel like an idiot for eating every desert in front of me. I wonder what is wrong with me that I think life isn’t worth living without ice cream.

And once again I have embraced my littleness, forgetting all about my grandeur, which now seems like a faraway dream of something impossible. I opened a document at random earlier this morning, and this is what I read.

“I looked in the mirror and instead of thinking, “This is my body,” I thought, “This is an image I have made.” Then I followed it back to the source of the image. “This is an out picturing of a desire I have.” I had a desire and I made an image of that desire and I projected the image as the body of Myron. Looking again at the image I made, I had to ask myself a different question; “What was I thinking!”

I giggled at that thought, but it is a good question and the key to my second way of using this lesson. (Lesson 325) What was I thinking? If I look around at my world I can ask myself this question about each image. Is the image I made a reflection of the Love that I am? Is it worthy of the Son of God?

It is perfectly ok for me to project a body, but the body I project tells me something about the beliefs I am holding. If I want a slimmer, healthier body and that is not the image I have made there must be a disconnect someplace. Do I think I am not worthy of the body I want? Do I think I am too guilty to have that body?

Evidently I still need to be convinced of what I am. I am the holy Son of God. I am perfect in every way because this is how I was created. In my creation God gave Himself to me, so I must be worthy. Guilt cannot be real because it is not what God gave me as Himself; it is not part of God. So it must be an artifact of the separation idea, and therefore I am free to let that idea go. It is a false idea that I have been renting space to in my mind. It is a bad tenant and its time to evict it.

Now when I look in the mirror if I am not happy with the image I made, I know that there is a belief in my mind that is obscuring my reality. I know that it is guilt that must be undone. This is the same thing I knew before. I have been looking at guilt thoughts and asking for healing for a while, but now that I understand how all things I see reflect ideas in my mind, I can see in some of these images the guilt that colored them. “

That was pretty good guidance to read this particular writing today, Holy Spirit. Thanks.  I need to think about these things to remind me that what I look on is not reality. It is just an idea in my mind. What I am is an eternal, divine being. I am part of God. I am irreplaceable in the Mind of God. What could that body in the mirror be but a strange idea I thought to experience. As I watch it play out I invite the Holy Spirit, the Voice for God, to gently wake me up from this dreamy experience I am having.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, Chapter 9, VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 9. 4-24-15

VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 9
9 Can your grandeur be arrogant when God Himself witnesses to it? And what can be real that has no witnesses? What good can come of it? And if no good can come of it the Holy Spirit cannot use it. What He cannot transform to the Will of God does not exist at all. Grandiosity is delusional, because it is used to replace your grandeur. Yet what God has created cannot be replaced. God is incomplete without you because His grandeur is total, and you cannot be missing from it.

Journal
Jesus is going to a lot trouble to convince me that it is ok for me to claim my grandeur. He must know that I will be uncertain about that. I have been taught that it is arrogant to think of myself in those terms, even sacrilegious. If I see myself as the Son of God; if I claim my holiness and use that holiness; if I accept that I am, indeed, the savior of the world, will I be slapped down and put into my place?

Will I be taking a huge chance in drawing attention to myself? After all, I have spent all of time hiding from God, keeping a low profile so I won’t be noticed. I have pointed to my brother as the guilty one. Now I suddenly stand up straight and claim my inheritance. That is quite a difference, and the ego is warning me against this. But Jesus says that not only is this acceptable, it is my function. I am to be the light of the world. By fulfilling my function I am saving not only myself but all of the Sonship with me.

I am irreplaceable in the Mind of God. I am loved forever. I begin to remember this is true as I allow my mind to be healed and as I allow my brother’s grandeur to be revealed to me. As I see my brother in all his glory, I finally accept my own grandeur. I return my awareness to the Mind of God where I truly exist.

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