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Study of Text, Chapter 11, I. The Gifts of Fatherhood, P 2. 8-6-15

I. The Gifts of Fatherhood, P 2

Journal
Jesus is appealing to my common sense. God is the universe, and has no limits. I am of God and in God, so I am the universe and I am limitless. There are no beginnings or endings in God and so God always was and always will be and therefore I always was and always will be. Can I undo this? Do I really believe that is possible?
What is this that seems to be happening to me and all around me? This does not appear to be God. It is not eternal and limitless. Did I actually succeed in destroying Reality and setting up my own world and my own rules? If that were true then I really did destroy God and my guilt and fear are justified. And yet, can I really believe that I have the power and will to do that?

This is the error we make, this belief that we are something outside God and that we have power separate from God. We are told that of ourselves we can do nothing, but through God all things are possible. So what I have done is nothing. I did it through the power that is God, but I did it of myself so I did nothing. I dreamed I did something. I made an illusion of something. But I did nothing, and so the fear and guilt are not justified, because nothing happened.

This nothing I am experiencing as if it is something, feels amazingly real because it is a real experience, but it is not Reality. However, the feeling of it, is what confuses me, and makes me think I have done this thing. I like to think of it like this. I (the Son) extended myself into an illusion of reality and am experiencing it as if it were reality. Can you imagine that? Can you see it in your mind?

I extend myself into the illusion. It is as if I am watching the best 3-D movie ever, and have the additional ability to put myself into one of the characters, to extend my being, my awareness, into that character. Now the movie is even more astounding, more realistic. In fact it is so realistic that I am lost in the character and the action and the story. But I cannot stay lost in it because that would be insanity and I am in God Who is not insane.

What is happening now for me, and for you, is that I am waking up from this dream story, and I am withdrawing my awareness from this character I am playing… from all the characters I have played and all the stories I have experienced. It is perfect that I do this, and perfectly natural. It is the only natural thing I have done since I started this, eons ago, and yet, not eons, since there is no beginning and no ending in God.

From within the story, timelessness and eternity are not understandable, but the story is not in eternity so it is coming to an end. I don’t need to understand how all this occurred or even what it all means in order to wake up from it. I only need to accept it is possible (and I think that is why Holy Spirit gives me these metaphors; he is helping me to understand and accept just enough to allow a gentle awakening.) When I am submerged in the story, Reality seems like a dream, but as I emerge, even a little, I glimpse a possibility of my true Self, and start to understand that I do not live in this story, but in eternity.

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