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October - December, 2008

Gifts from Gustav and Ike

Rev. Myron Jones

In the last few weeks I have evacuated twice. On the level of form I was doing this because hurricanes were coming. But as with everything that happens in my life I get to be the one who gives meaning to each occurrence, and I give it all the meaning it has for me. The purpose I give it determines my experience of it. I noticed that it is a moment to moment decision. Each moment is an opportunity to decide what I value right now.

Gustav seemed to be coming our way and though it never made it to us we didn’t know that until after it actually touched down elsewhere. While we were still unsure about the direction it was taking, we decided to evacuate. I was pretty calm about the whole thing, just doing what I had to do to make it happen. But I noticed that it required constant vigilance not to join in the drama that was going on around me. There were lots of rumors flying around and it is hard to know which of them were true. I had to watch TV to keep up, but I hate to do that because TV is really big into drama. While searching for the elusive tank of gas (when everyone in town is gassing up at the same time the stations run dry) I heard a lot of ego chatter, many people expressing fear. In each of these moments I had to decide anew which voice I wanted to listen to. If I was not vigilant I would find myself joining in the drama. Panic is contagious.

Off and on during the day I would notice that I was thinking: “I hate not knowing where it is going to hit. I wish it would go someplace else. I sure hope it doesn’t hit New Orleans. That would be the end of them.” I became aware that I was wanting things to be different. This is the same as saying that I could not be happy unless things changed, and that I am the victim of the world I see. None of this is true. I was grateful that I have been practicing forgiveness and acceptance. This constant practice made it easier for me to notice these thoughts and to relinquish them.

My family and I actually enjoyed our evacuation. We went to Houston and stayed at a nice hotel. I traveled with my daughter and two grandchildren. My oldest son lives in Houston and we don’t visit that often so it was nice to have this visit. My youngest son lives in New Orleans and he and his girl friend joined all of us for lunch at a really good Mexican restaurant, so it was a pleasant family reunion. Later we took my two year old granddaughter to the children’s museum.

Still I began to notice my stress level increasing. It was because I was allowing my mind to engage in ego stories. I began to wonder when we could go home and if there would be damage. I worried about the cost of the evacuation and what if we had to do it again. I started thinking about how this was affecting my job and what I could do about it. I started planning for a future that was only happening in my imagination. I then remembered that I have committed to making no plans on my own, and that when I leave the future in God’s hands I can trust that I will be given the answers I need when I need them. It is only the ego that thinks I need to bank answers for future use. As I let go of my need to plan, I also let go of stress and went back to my evacuation vacation.

Gustav caused a lot of damage in Louisiana, but none in my town and I went home to discover that everything was as I had left it. I’m glad I didn’t waste too much time worrying and making plans.

In just a few days we had to evacuate again for hurricane Ike. Instead of getting a hotel room for me and one for my daughter and grandkids and then eating out three times a day for several days, we decided to get a cabin on Lake Bistineaux. It is at the top of the state and so would be much further from the hurricane wherever it hit. It is a beautiful place and the cabin was very nice. It was fully furnished and had a full kitchen so we did not have to eat out.

We had left everything packed and hurricane ready so there was not all the hard work of getting prepared for Gustav, and this evacuation would be much less expensive. It was also in a very peaceful and lovely area. This evacuation should have been a lot less stressful and yet, as I told my daughter on the second day, I had a migraine I just couldn’t shake. She said that it was probably due to the stress. I know that this is true, but like I told her, I just didn’t feel stressed. She said, “Mom, you’ve been through a lot in the last few days.”

When she said that to me I felt the prickle of tears behind my eyes. I was so surprised. I really did not know that I was feeling the stress of two back to back evacuations. I was failing to acknowledge my emotions. I was making the common error of going from “mistaken thoughts” straight to my destination of “healed thoughts” without stopping off to hang out with Holy Spirit for awhile. This is the ego trying to usurp the Holy Spirit’s job, but the ego cannot solve any problem. It can only conceal and that is what happened and the reason I didn’t realize I was experiencing stress.

I asked the Holy Spirit to help me. I was pretty cut off from the outside world as there was no Internet service and my phone seldom worked, but I could sometimes get and receive text messages. Very soon after I asked for help, I received a surprise message from Regina Dawn Akers (the scribe for The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament) which was very helpful. The first message I received said, “Let the storm pass. That’s what storms do.” How perfect that was! I was having my own personal storm going on and fighting it wasn’t going to calm it down. I went into acceptance and simply allowed everything to be as it was. I immediately felt more peaceful. The Holy Spirit, through Regina, helped me to return to sanity.

I spent the rest of the time giving my thoughts to the Holy Spirit for healing and Regina’s messages continued to help me do this. Regina posts her Single Quiet Thoughts from the Holy Spirit daily at her yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NTIDiscussionGroup/. The one that was most helpful to me was:

The mind will tell you stories to defeat the peace within. That is only because the mind was made to deliver the experience of something different. The mind is not bad. It is not scary or frightening. It is simply distracting you with stories so you may choose to have an experience. To return to the peace that resides within, remember that peace is your reality and stories are just a game you play. (From our Holy Spirit)

This message was really helpful to me because I was starting to feel like a victim to my own mind. I knew I was indulging in ego stories but I couldn’t seem to stop. Reading this helpful message reminded me that the ego is just doing what I designed the ego to do. It is not bad or scary and even though it was my desire at one time to make an ego, I do not have to continue to believe what it tells me.

Also helpful to me is that the peace which I am in truth is not changed when I play the ego games. Sure, I lose my awareness of peace when I listen to the ego stories, but I do not change. Peace, love, joy, all are my true nature. I cannot destroy or even alter that because it is true creation and cannot be lost. So I can stay in the ego all I want and love remains what I am and waits patiently for me to return my awareness to it.

Once again, I have been given the opportunity to use what is happening in the illusion for the purpose of awakening. At times during the evacuation I felt as if I were failing in my purpose and sometimes lost awareness of that purpose. But always I came back to it and when I did, I realized that I never failed at all; I simply chose an experience and then decided it was not worthy of the Son of God and made a different choice. I am in gratitude to Gustav and Ike for the forgiveness opportunities they brought to me.

Rev. Myron Jones is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Charles, Louisiana. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways of Light web site. Web site: http://www.forgivenessisthewayhome.org

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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October - December, 2008

The Face of God Is in Everyone

Rev. Gail Hamley

With the recent ups and downs of the financial market, job losses, home losses and general chaos that seem to be taking place in the United States, how does one overcome this illusion? ACIM tells us “not by force or anger, nor by opposing them in any way.” The Course continues, “You are the strong one in this seeming conflict.” (p. 478) That’s all very nice and I certainly do want to be strong, but with everyone around me complaining, criticizing and make strong judgments, sometimes it is difficult to cultivate that strength.

But Spirit hears every question and every prayer so I got an opportunity to practice being strong in a very significant way recently. My workplace was reflecting the general chaos of our country: There was upheaval in management, the finances, near dissolution, transition of senior management, lay-offs, not to mention the political and resulting emotional turmoil. I remained calm through all of this. I knew that because I am a student of the Course, I have been and continue to be groomed to see above and through the illusion. “God is here,” I would remind myself.

But when it came to laying people off, I was shaken. Now this is not a new task. As a human resources manager, I have had to fire, lay-off, counsel and do whatever it takes to get results in the workplace. But I guess I was fooling myself into thinking I was not being affected by all of the changes going on all around me. All of the meetings I had to attend where names were chosen and, ultimately, I was the one who prepared the documents and delivered the message. It caught up with me and I was shaken.

In meditation on the evening of the first lay-off, I found myself buzzing and my mind was crazy. Yet, I knew this was exactly what I needed to do. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me. Before I got the prayer out, I calmed down. Yes, it was that quick and because it was so quick I was reminded about what is True! I read, “For in his sight your loveliness is his salvation, which he would protect from harm. And you will be your brother’s strong protector from everything that seems to rise between you both. So shall you walk the world with me…” So in these times of chaos, I realized that this is the moment I have been prepared for.

Recently, I sang a Navajo song at a Peace prayer ceremony called “Walk in Beauty.” To walk in beauty means to be in harmony with nature and the earth, to be in peace with our brothers and our sisters and to be in alignment with our Creator. Isn’t this what Jesus is telling us? To walk in beauty is to walk the world with Jesus.

When I don’t react to what is going on around me, I become a messenger of God. It isn’t easy to lay people off. But now I am steadfast in knowing that the face of God is in that person and the face of God is in every part of their lives and in mine. No harm will come to us. Miracles are both beginnings and endings and they don’t show up the way we think they will. I may not be able to change what is happening. But I can change my perception to see the face of God and walk in beauty. That’s the way Jesus walked. And He is my Teacher.

Rev. Gail Hamley is a Pathways of Light minister living in Tustin, California.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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October - December, 2008

The Graduation Party

Rev. Melinda Kurka

It is so easy to get all wrapped up in our everyday life, with its problems and all the things needing to be done. Sometimes we get so busy, we forget how truly blessed we are. Then suddenly, something happens to remind us of how far we have come on our spiritual voyage and what a miracle that journey has been. That is exactly what happened to me a few months ago, and it happened at a graduation party for my husband’s nephew, Stephen. 

The party was held on Sunday at my brother-in-law’s house in Kent, Ohio, about a 45 minute drive from our place. The month was early June, the time for graduation parties, and the day was clear and warm. Their yard was stunning with iris’s, peonies and day lilies in bloom. The food was terrific and, as usual, I ate way too much. Afterwards, I just wandered around talking to family and friends I hadn’t seen for a while.
 
Then the big meal caught up with me and I decided to sit down for awhile. There was a vacant chair next to Bob’s cousin Mike, so that was where I parked myself. Mike began telling me that he and his wife had just moved so they could be closer to the church that they are very involved in. The cross he was wearing was quite unique and looked to be hand-made. As I admired it, he told me about a talk he recently gave regarding his former drug use and how turning to God had saved his life. “You and I have a great deal in common,” I told him. Mike looked at me in surprise. “I didn’t know you had a drug problem,” he said. “I didn’t. I am a recovering alcoholic.” He had no idea. I went on, “I also had a serious nervous breakdown eleven years ago. I was as lost as you were. And just like you, faith in God has saved my life.”

I was aware that he had a drug problem as a younger man, but until he started sharing details with me, I hadn’t known the extent of the problem. His drug of choice had been heroin. At one point, he sank so low that he was robbing people for money to pay for his drug habit. In one month, Mike told me, he had spent $38,000 on drugs. “At that point, I didn’t care about who I hurt or what I did. I just had to have that fix,” he stated.

I didn’t go into quite as much detail as he had about my own addiction, but I did tell him that I was very secretive about my drinking. I had never gotten a DUI or lost a job, but I was a full-blown alcoholic regardless. It started me thinking about all the times I would rush the kids to bed so I could drink myself into oblivion. I would spend the whole next day anticipating drinking that night. It was the only thing that made the hurt inside go away for awhile. I became a genius at hiding the bottles, so no one knew how much I was drinking. My husband worked nights, so he really had no clue. Anyway, as Mike and I continued talking, he told me he had tried to commit suicide twice and showed me the scars on his wrists. “I tried twice as well. I was a cutter,” I told him and showed him the scars on my arms. He told me that he found God while in a jail cell, waiting for an arraignment hearing. Someone had left a Bible in there and when he picked it up, it just happened to open to a verse that spoke to his heart (imagine that). “That was the beginning for me,” he said. I replied that driving the car one afternoon, I suddenly started talking to God. “Please help me find peace. I need peace. I just can’t go on living like this.” A few days later, I met up with a woman named Amy, who recommended that I buy the book, A Course in Miracles. That was my beginning.

Eleven years later, here I am, a new Minister through Pathways of Light. Healing physically, mentally and spiritually has taken an immense amount of work on myself. I am a more healed, balanced, peaceful person than I have ever been my whole life. Part of what helped me was working with a good psychologist. That helped me understand why I felt the way I did. But, somehow, it never helped me get rid of the pain — the fear, guilt, grief and anger inside. It has been the spirituality, developing a relationship with the Divine that has allowed me to make peace with and let go of that pain. Letting go of hurt from the past has felt like bricks coming off my back. What a terrible load I had been carrying most of my life.

Does this mean that I am totally healed, that I am on the verge of enlightenment? No. I still have issues I am dealing with. I am still an imperfect human being. However, I now have a lifeline to hold onto. That lifeline is the love of the Divine and it is the most important thing in my life. With my hand in God’s, I continue to heal. I am returning home where I belong.

Bob’s cousin and I both survived through faith in God, the Divine Source. It was the only thing that could give us the courage, love and hope we needed to begin healing; the only thing that gave us a reason to live. He found God in a traditional Christian Church. I have found God through a non-traditional, spiritual approach which has unfolded with A Course in Miracles at the core and Native American Spirituality, Buddhism and Taoism mixed in. It doesn’t matter. There are many paths to God. We each need to find the path that is right for us.

The Love of God is the miracle that heals us, as soon as we are ready and willing to open our hearts to that Love.

Rev. Melinda Kurka is a Pathways of Light minister living in Lodi, Ohio.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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October - December, 2008

Specialness — A Disguised Gift of Fear

Tomas Vieira

Whenever we try to be special, to get something from someone, or harbor an attachment to an outcome or thing, we will experience pain and suffering and usually cruelty towards the other party and self.

Recently, I was trying to make myself ‘special’ to someone when I realized that the more I tried, the worst I felt. Trying to be special always involves seeing yourself and the other as individuals, different; more special than others. This immediately produces fear because the hidden belief behind specialness is that we are alone and need to get and protect what we want, though this agenda is often hidden beneath the driving desire to win over the other. The exhilarating emotions of trying to be special, the fantasies that play-out in the mind all disguise a growing fear of loss.

This growing fear eventually surfaces as a need to defend against that fear. The ego, being insane and working from its mantra of seek and do not find, then begins to subtly judge (or attack) the other in the absurd notion that finding fault in him/her will somehow protect them from the very fear that began within their own ego mind.

Typical of the ego, it makes up a fear and then sees (projects) it outside in the other and justifies attack as a means of defending a potential loss. This can manifest as seeing fault in another and trying to correct them. So back to my story, I was actually trying to hurt someone I cared deeply for. Is this madness or what?

There is no way out of here. The paradigm is now a closed circle. We (ego) begin by seeing the fault outside, then by making it real in the mind, we follow with attack which leads to defense from the other which seemingly confirms the initial fear and generates more fear and round and round we go! The internal altar of worship to God has been displaced by the idol of fear.

A Course in Miracles in Lesson 170, titled ‘There is no cruelty in God and none in me’ clearly explains this mistaken belief.

1. “No one attacks without intent to hurt. This can have no exception. When you think that you attack in self-defense, you mean that to be cruel is protection; you are safe because of cruelty. You mean that you believe to hurt another brings you freedom. And you mean that to attack is to exchange the state in which you are for something better, safer, more secure from dangerous invasion from fear.

“How thoroughly insane is the idea that to defend from fear is to attack! For here is fear begot and fed with blood, to make it swell and rage. And thus is fear protected, not escaped.”

The lesson goes on to explain the ultimate fear behind this is the fear of God Himself; the fear of a God of vengeance who is after us for our ‘sins.’ We still believe that we are guilty and, conscious or not, every time we attack or defend, we generate guilt and believe God will persecute us. This of course is ridiculous as this seeming life is just a dream, one that is over already. All we have to do is wake up to who we are to see that we are already home, safe, beloved.

I only discovered my mistake when I came to my knees begging for the peace of God. I was so over myself and prayed for right-mindedness. I prayed for the correct perception so that I could return to peace. Having turned my life over to the Peace of God, I was shocked to find that here was the ego again, trying to hurt me.

And then I saw it clearly! I saw how the ego in its deception used the desire for specialness to make up fantasies which, if followed through, would have turned out to be conditions for a future generation of pain, suffering and sacrifice.

Love is free and limitless, given freely without restriction or expectation. We all know sexual love and emotional love but know nothing of Conscious Love; the Love that is given solely to mirror back the perfection of the other. Conscious Love is about practicing giving is receiving; this is the only way we can know this experientially. There is no room for ‘getting’ here. Conscious Love does not see error and abandon a brother. It seeks not to correct error thereby compounding the mistaken belief that we are separate individuals. Conscious Love does not judge and does not seek to place limits on self or others. In the mirroring back of the perfection of the other is our memory of Who and What we are restored.

Having already learned and practiced this with Nouk, I was dumbstruck to find myself lapsing back into specialness. I supposedly teach this stuff!!

When we lapse into specialness, we are unable to see the beauty and perfection of our brother, thereby increasing the fear in us that we are alone and isolated, with a vengeful God after us.

As the Course states, at any instant we can be reborn and given life again. All we need do is forgive ourselves for the mistake we made and ask the Holy Spirit to shine away what was never there! Here’s to the end of specialness.

Australians Nouk Sanchez and Tomas Vieira are the authors of best-seller Take Me to Truth, Undoing the Ego. Initiated by A Course in Miracles, their seventeen year spiritual awakening journey led to the almost total deconstruction of their lives and belief systems before emerging from the process together. The result is this profoundly practical guide that clearly defines the blocks and the stages involved in apiritual awakening.
Web: http://www.takemetotruth.com

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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