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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-23-12

Day 83
3 Certainly this seems to be a long, long while away. “When not one thought of sin remains” appears to be a long-range goal indeed. But time stands still, and waits on the goal of God’s teachers. Not one thought of sin will remain the instant any one of them accepts Atonement for himself. It is not easier to forgive one sin than to forgive all of them. The illusion of orders of difficulty is an obstacle the teacher of God must learn to pass by and leave behind. One sin perfectly forgiven by one teacher of God can make salvation complete. Can you understand this? No; it is meaningless to anyone here. Yet it is the final lesson in which unity is restored. It goes against all the thinking of the world, but so does Heaven.

I am bending over in my little patch of garden pulling weeds and planting seeds. My focus is on looking at and letting go of wrong minded thinking as it occurs to me. I see this person or that who seems to be guilty. My job is to bring this belief to the truth and let it be corrected. It seems that I will never get to the end of it because just as I rejoice at a sudden and massive shift in my thinking, I see that it is not complete, as I notice that guilt appears in a different story. There is more work to be done.

“When not one thought of sin remains” appears to be a long-range goal indeed.

Really? Is Jesus trying to be funny? It appears to be a long-range goal? How about completely out of reach? I can’t seem to go a single hour without another thought of sin popping up in my mind. When all the “big” ones are gone, I begin to notice the smaller, more subtle ways which show me I still believe in guilt. And yet, I am told that it is possible and that it is accomplished and only waiting on my acceptance. He says that time stands still and waits on me.

Jesus also says that there is no order of difficulty in forgiveness. I can forgive all wrong minded thoughts as easily as any one mistaken thought. It is hard for me to understand this because I have more trouble with some grievances than others. I know that this is because I want some of them more than I want others but that is a difference that gets lost to me when I am angry and fearful.

So if I have created an order of difficulty in my grievances, how am I going to make the leap that, one sin perfectly forgiven by one teacher of God can make salvation complete? And when I ask, the Holy Spirit reminds me that the truth does not need my understanding, only my acceptance. I will give my willingness to pass by and leave behind the belief in order of difficulty in miracles. I will rest in the certainty that what Jesus tells me is true no matter how it appears to me while I am still in the grip of the illusion.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-22-12

Day 82
2 Until forgiveness is complete, the world does have a purpose. It becomes the home in which forgiveness is born, and where it grows and becomes stronger and more all-embracing. Here is it nourished, for here it is needed. A gentle savior, born where sin was made and guilt seemed real. Here is His home, for here there is need of Him indeed. He brings the ending of the world with Him. It is His Call God’s teachers answer, turning to Him in silence to receive His Word. The world will end when all things in it have been rightly judged by His judgment. The world will end with the benediction of holiness upon it. When not one thought of sin remains, the world is over. It will not be destroyed nor attacked nor even touched. It will merely cease to seem to be.

I love the way this paragraph begins.

Until forgiveness is complete, the world does have a purpose. It becomes the home in which forgiveness is born, and where it grows and becomes stronger and more all-embracing.

For a long time I have laughed at the preachers who warn that everyone is going to hell. I wanted to ask them where they thought they were. “This is hell, guys.” I felt this way (and sometimes still do) because I believe my thoughts that are constantly separating and condemning. I saw the world as hell because that is what my mind projected.

Now that I have begun to forgive, the world is beginning to seem like a different place. Instead of being the receptacle for my garbage thoughts, it is becoming the home of forgiveness, the place where I nourish forgiveness through my growing commitment and willingness. The world transforms through a changed purpose.

Holding this purpose in my mind is easier as I embrace this new vision of the world. I am motivated to a greater awareness of the need to forgive, and a stronger desire to see differently. I see the world as a vast garden that has been overrun with the weeds of guilt, and fear. I have been pulling them, but only haphazardly and with some reluctance. It has been a discouraging job because I saw no end to it.

But I stuck with it and now I am beginning to see what the weeds were hiding. I am beginning to see the flowers bloom. With the weeds gone, the light can reach them, and my continued forgiveness feeds them and they multiply and grow stronger and more vigorous. The fruit of my work encourages me and I feel less of a grim determination, and more of a happy anticipation. It is still work, but it is cheerful work.

Something I’ve noticed is that late in the day I sometimes feel discouraged and this is when I tend to judge myself and others. In the past I thought this was because I was tired. Now I see that it is because I am tired of pretending. The ego mind doesn’t really want to give up its judgments and will sometimes hide them, deny them, stuff them down. By the end of the day I’m tired of the effort and they rise to the surface.

I used to tell myself that I was too tired to deal with it and would distract with a book or something. Now with more light in my mind, I have seen this denial for what it is and have stopped pretending. I can look at my thoughts without judgment and allow them to be transformed at night just as easily as I can in the day. I see that it is not forgiveness that wears me out, but the failure to forgive that tires me. Thank you, Holy Spirit.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-21-12

Day 81

14. HOW WILL THE WORLD END?

1 Can what has no beginning really end? The world will end in an illusion, as it began. Yet will its ending be an illusion of mercy. The illusion of forgiveness, complete, excluding no one, limitless in gentleness, will cover it, hiding all evil, concealing all sin and ending guilt forever. So ends the world that guilt had made, for now it has no purpose and is gone. The father of illusions is the belief that they have a purpose; that they serve a need or gratify a want. Perceived as purposeless, they are no longer seen. Their uselessness is recognized, and they are gone. How but in this way are all illusions ended? They have been brought to truth, and truth saw them not. It merely overlooked the meaningless.

Everything I see and experience in this world is a reflection of guilt. It is an illusion because guilt is not part of God and so cannot be real. So what I need is an illusion that will end the illusion of guilt. The answer given me is forgiveness. When that illusion, that is forgiveness, is accepted completely by all, and with no exceptions, the world of guilt will disappear.

Why do we have illusions and why do we keep them? It is because they seem to have some purpose. We want them. As we question that purpose and that need, that is, as we bring the illusion to truth, we see that we were wrong. Our illusions have no purpose and we no longer want them. Yesterday I brought the grievance I held against my brother and the situation he was part of to the Holy Spirit.

I carefully explained why this man was guilty. I showed Him all the evidence against this man. No matter how high I stacked his sins, the Holy Spirit saw only his innocence. He gave me His Vision and I practiced the possibility that the Holy Spirit was right. All day when the man or any other guilty person or circumstance came to mind, I tried out the Holy Spirit’s Vision. I reminded myself that the Son of God in innocent.

Each time I did this I felt peaceful and happy. When I chose to return to my illusion, I felt contracted and anxious. I thought I needed that man to be guilty. I thought I needed that situation to be wrong. I could look in my story for reasons that I felt that need, but that would not be particularly helpful as the story is only the effect of my belief in guilt and unworthiness. My fear of God, the desire to be separate, these are the cause of the story, the reason I made the story to begin with. Forgiving the story is only useful because it stands as symbol of the true cause of my unhappiness; the belief that I am separate from God and guilty for this separation.

So I let go of the analyzing and just accepted that I felt the need to make this man guilty for my own purposes. I forgive that. I now accept that this man and the situation is innocent. I am innocent. This acceptance of innocence is limited. If you show me a different person or a different situation, I may believe for awhile that I have use of guilt again.

This is because I am not yet fully convinced that I am not guilty and have no reason to fear. But, if I could forgive the belief I needed that man and myself to be guilty yesterday, and if nothing awful happened as result of seeing us innocent, maybe I have nothing to fear after all. I am not yet convinced, but neither am I fully convicted in my belief in guilt and the necessity of projecting that guilt. Today I will again bring all guilt thoughts to truth. I am ready to practice forgiveness again.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-20-12

Day 80
8 Teacher of God, do not forget the meaning of sacrifice, and remember what each decision you make must mean in terms of cost. Decide for God, and everything is given you at no cost at all. Decide against Him, and you choose nothing, at the expense of the awareness of everything. What would you teach? Remember only what you would learn. For it is here that your concern should be. Atonement is for you. Your learning claims it and your learning gives it. The world contains it not. But learn this course and it is yours. God holds out His Word to you, for He has need of teachers. What other way is there to save His Son? 

I had supper with my friend Alisha last night. What a teacher of God she is! Her life is the lesson she holds out to the world. When I am with her I learn serenity, peace, acceptance, and consistency. When I leave her my mind is calmer and I am happier. It is our lives that teach. Our words are just the caption under the picture. Sometimes the words are congruent with the picture and sometimes not.

I don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “Today I will be a good teacher of God as I do only this and this and this.” I don’t wake up thinking, “Today I will be a teacher of God so I will say only these words or those words.” I wake up thinking, “I choose to be God’s Teacher today. What would You have me do? What would You have me say?” I give my willingness. It is not a matter of self-will, of efforting. It is about surrender. I choose to surrender my self to my Self. Then I get to watch the show. Will Myron remember her purpose today? Will she live that choice?

Yesterday I asked for a way to loosen my hold on a stubborn grievance and I was given the reminder that the Son of God is innocent. This is true no matter what the story seems to indicate. That proved to be a very helpful practice and applied to so much more than the one person and one situation.

It was helpful, not because I said the words, but because I desired to be free of the grievance. You wouldn’t have guessed that considering how tightly I was holding onto it, but I did truly desire release. The ego part of the mind wanted to be right, but the Heart desired freedom. If I had not really wanted to let go of the grievance the practice would not have brought me release. It is the prayer of the Heart that is answered, not the words.

Holy Spirit, when I first became aware of a desire to surrender, my willingness was just a tiny seed. My practice has watered that seed and it has grown. I am grateful. This morning you have helped me to see that I have seen surrender as a willing sacrifice. I didn’t realize this. Thank you for the clarity. I know that God does not want my sacrifice. I am willing to do this in joy instead. I am willing to surrender happily. I may need a little help.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-19-12

Day 79
7 Do not forget that sacrifice is total. There are no half sacrifices. You cannot give up Heaven partially. You cannot be a little bit in hell. The Word of God has no exceptions. It is this that makes it holy and beyond the world. It is its holiness that points to God. It is its holiness that makes you safe. It is denied if you attack any brother for anything. For it is here the split with God occurs. A split that is impossible. A split that cannot happen. Yet a split in which you surely will believe, because you have set up a situation that is impossible. And in this situation the impossible can seem to happen. It seems to happen at the “sacrifice” of truth.

I have a forgiveness lesson that I have tried to avoid. Because I do not want to forgive this man I have avoided any situation that puts me in proximity with him. I have told myself that I can forgive him some other time, that since I don’t have a lot to do with him it doesn’t matter if I put off forgiveness. I have told myself that it is just this one person, and that’s nothing compared to all the people I have forgiven. I have been kidding myself, obviously, since Jesus is telling us that sacrifice is total and that the impossible split happens when I attack anyone.

Why would I ever separate myself from God? Well, I’m doing it right now. The split didn’t just happen one time, it happens again and again and again. I keep the split in place every time I attack. My attack against this man is that I see him as guilty. His behavior seems to prove my judgment against him. I look at his behavior and I want him to be guilty, then I don’t want to be anywhere around him. I have split him off from the Sonship and decided that he is the one who really is guilty and not deserving of forgiveness. Now the Sonship is no longer whole, and so the truth is not true.

Oh jeez, Holy Spirit, I cannot keep this grievance and be at peace. Even though I see that this grievance is an attack on God, that it is keeping me in hell, that it is completely opposed to my one purpose, I hate the thought of giving it up. I need help.

Holy Spirit: You do want to give up this grievance, dear one. That is why you have asked me for help. You also want to keep the grievance. That is the nature of the split mind. This conflict in your mind is exhausting. Rest in me awhile and let your mind be still. (I did this and when I was comforted and at peace I heard more)

When your desire to return to your purpose is complete, the grievance will be gone. You know I cannot pluck it from your mind and save you from your self. You must give it to me because you do not want it anymore. Your decision to forgive keeps getting derailed as you return your attention to the ego story you created to justify your anger and keep it in place. There is only one thing true about this man and this situation; the Son of God is innocent. As your mind wanders to the story again, return it to the truth.

Do not become confused and distracted by the story. This is not about this man’s behavior. This story is just a symbol of the guilt you imagine to be in your mind. It is just another attempt to project it outward. It is your attempt to distract God from your guilt by showing him the guilt in someone else. You don’t want to give up the grievance because it seems to be your salvation.

There is no guilt, Myron, but you make yourself feel guilty through your attempt to displace the imagined guilt. Your efforts to project the guilt actually make you feel guiltier and the need to hide your “sin” from yourself makes it impossible to forgive it. The story is just a device. The man is just a place to put the guilt you believe in so that you can pretend you don’t believe the guilt is yours. So forget the story.

Bring your mind back to the truth. The Son of God is innocent. Let your mind linger here. Let the truth fill you and bless you. Each time you feel the grievance try to reestablish itself in your mind, remember that the story of this man is not the truth. He is innocent. You are innocent. Put your trust in God rather than the ego attempt to protect you from your guilt.

Me: Holy Spirit, I keep returning to the story and when I do I can’t see innocence and I forget that the story has the purpose of providing me with a way to defend against God. The story, when believed, becomes very important to me. It seems wrong to discount the story, and my mind becomes confused again. But already it is so much easier to shift my attention back to the truth.

I thank you for helping me to see what it is actually happening. I will use every return to attack as an opportunity to remember the truth. I trust that my mind will be healed because I trust You.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-18-12

Day 78
6 You may believe this course requires sacrifice of all you really hold dear. In one sense this is true, for you hold dear the things that crucify God’s Son, and it is the course’s aim to set him free. But do not be mistaken about what sacrifice means. It always means the giving up of what you want. And what, O teacher of God, is it that you want? You have been called by God, and you have answered. Would you now sacrifice that Call? Few have heard it as yet, and they can but turn to you. There is no other hope in all the world that they can trust. There is no other voice in all the world that echoes God’s. If you would sacrifice the truth, they stay in hell. And if they stay, you will remain with them.

What is it that I would “sacrifice” to answer the Call to service? What is it that I want and will have to give up? Special relationships, of course. The “right” to righteous indignation. I would have to give up being a victim, seeing guilt in others and myself, and feeling sorry for myself, and of course there goes all that delicious drama. I will have to give up all those hours of rehashing past stories of my life. I would have to give up the hope that I will finally think of the one story that will bring me perfect happiness. I would have to give up sickness, pain, and death. The belief that letting these go is sacrifice is a sickness in my mind. Holy Spirit, please heal me.

I have heard God call me to teach, as have each of you who are reading this. Our teaching is essential to the plan of salvation. We are the voice of hope in the desert. Would we sacrifice that trust for another go at the illusion? We began this experiment in separation so long ago that the memory is lost to us. We have nothing else to gain from staying. Surely, we tire of it now, and that is why we answered God’s Call. I will not turn my back on that Call now. I will not stay in hell, nor leave any part of my one self in hell.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 3-17-12

Day 77
5 What is the real meaning of sacrifice? It is the cost of believing in illusions. It is the price that must be paid for the denial of truth. There is no pleasure of the world that does not demand this, for otherwise the pleasure would be seen as pain, and no one asks for pain if he recognizes it. It is the idea of sacrifice that makes him blind. He does not see what he is asking for. And so he seeks it in a thousand ways and in a thousand places, each time believing it is there, and each time disappointed in the end. “Seek but do not find” remains this world’s stern decree, and no one who pursues the world’s goal can do otherwise.

As I have thought that giving up self requires sacrifice, I have missed the point. It is the illusion that asks for my sacrifice. To believe in illusion I must deny the truth; that is, I must sacrifice truth. The special relationships I have been talking about are an example of this. I hold tightly to them because I think they are my salvation. I think they are the source of my happiness.

In order to maintain the belief that my special relationships are the source of my happiness, I must sacrifice the truth, which is that the special relationship is not pleasure, but pain.  What do I sacrifice in the embracing of specialness? Well, the special relationship demands that I give up my Self, my unity with All That Is. I must pretend to be small, fragile, vulnerable in every way. I must suffer inevitable loss, and in fact, have come to accept that crushing loss is the price one must pay for love. The greater the love, the more awful the loss when it finally comes.

I suffer great pain to bring the child into my life. I watch in fear as the child lives its life; fear it will be hurt, will be sick, will be snatched from me by a vengeful God, as surely I deserve since I snatched my self from Him. I give less than is asked of me and suffer crushing guilt all my life. I give the child my all, and watch as he spends that life moving further and further from me, taking with him the love I have dedicated my life to building.

I watch each of his accomplishments with pride and love, but also with fear as each accomplishment brings him closer to independence, and so further from me. If the child manages to navigate the dangers of the world and grow into an adult, I then feel that I have “sacrificed” years of my life to his constant and vigilant care and am now reduced to staring at the phone in hopes of a call.

This is the ego’s idea of love. It centers on fear, sacrifice, and loss. And yet, the ego insists that God who is asking for the sacrifice when He asks that I give up my special relationships. The ego warns me that God wants to leave me with nothing.

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that the true sacrifice is believing in the ego version of love. This belief strips me of the memory of Love so completely that I am afraid of it. Who really remembers what it means to love without fear, without sacrifice of any kind? Who is it that does not associate love with loss? Who can remember that love is eternal and unchanging and that nothing that is done or said or experienced can affect it in any way? Who can remember what it is like to know ones self as Love? This is the true sacrifice, this memory, this certainty, this Self.

I have misunderstood sacrifice, and like everything else in the illusion, have seen it upside down. I have clung to sacrifice and called it salvation. I have turned my back on salvation and called it sacrifice. Thank you God for clarity. Please help me to be vigilant for the confusion in my mind so that I can let it go. Now that I am more aware of the true order of things, I am also more sensitive to the discomfort of my confusion and more ready to be corrected.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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