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Study of Text, C 15: The Two Uses of Time, P 3, 9-1-17

I. The Two Uses of Time, P 3
3 The ego is an ally of time, but not a friend. For it is as mistrustful of death as it is of life, and what it wants for you it cannot tolerate. The ego wants you dead, but not itself. The outcome of its strange religion must therefore be the conviction that it can pursue you beyond the grave. And out of its unwillingness for you to find peace even in death, it offers you immortality in hell. It speaks to you of Heaven, but assures you that Heaven is not for you. How can the guilty hope for Heaven?

Journal
This is very simple to understand but when I read it the first time, I was relieved. At that time I had not yet put behind me the last vestiges of organized religion with its concept of hell. Reading this paragraph helped me to do that. I see now where this idea originated. Certainly, it was not God Who created it, so it makes sense that it was the ego. The missing piece for me was why the ego did this. I see it is just another attempt to preserve itself, while still upholding its primary belief, guilt.

It makes perfect sense that the ego wants me dead but not itself. How else could it have both my death and its life except to follow me into death and torment me there? And of course, the ego concept of guilt demands punishment. The only times I have ever had problems letting go of a grievance was when I couldn’t bring myself to let the guilty person off the hook. This is the ego mind insisting the guilty are guilty forever. If there were no punishment after death, then its foundational belief in guilt would be thwarted.

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