It’s a cold February night and I can hear the pellets of rock salt crunching between the soles of my shoes and the sidewalk as I walk quietly across the parking lot. Distant, amber flood lights cast a mix of dim, golden illumination and streaks of shadows along my path. I can hear distant city traffic quietly flowing on a throughway in the valley. I was alone and the atmosphere of the lot seemed very peaceful. I stopped short of my car to take it in. Noticing each breath condensing into a cool cloud of white as it wisped into the night air.
Some days I wake up filled with a sense of wonder that God created me like Himself, that I am His beloved child and that He loves me. But some days I wake up feeling kind of blue. Some days all I can think of are the mistakes I have made and the people I have hurt. On some days my body is in pain. On other days I feel anxious and on edge and then it seems like everyone I know woke up with the sole intention of getting on Myron’s nerves today.
Peace, like soothing sunlight, dawns
As softening beauty within
the surrendering heart.
I would like to share a few of the many times when I was open and willing to listen to Spirit. The first of which I remember happened when I was a mere babe, less than six months in my body. (I confirmed the outer conditions with my mother when I was in my early forties.) When I was about 3-4 months, I had a conscious OBE (out-of-body experience). I remember my dad, my mom and myself cruising in a sky blue color ‘55 Chevy. My dad was in the front while my mother and I were in the back. I was securely snuggled in a blue blanket, simply laying still inside a wicker-like bassinet. Then IT happened! The real me, the part of me that knows, the aware part of me, shifted its point of view from being inside this little, gentle baby body to a much larger field of vision outside of the body.
This morning I am asking for assistance from Jesus. When I call to Jesus I can “hear” His Voice. This Voice, this Presence, is very real to me. I call this taking a “Light” break and try to remember to stop several times a day to do this for the insurance and assurance of my sanity.
There is really only One Thought, and that is God. This One Thought extends Itself endlessly. It is the Thought that says, “I AM” forever and ever. There is nothing other than this. There is only God proclaiming Himself, extending Himself. There is only Love proclaiming Itself, extending Itself. Love says, “I AM.” There is nothing else. It is inconceivable to Love that anything else could be.
There is a motion picture that is said to show the passion of a man who lived 2,000 years ago. Talk is, it is an extremely violent and bloody movie. From past experience I have learned that when I see such things, I have nightmares and flashbacks for weeks after. Yet this was supposed to be the story of God’s Son’s death and resurrection. I was conflicted; to go, or not to go. I affirm, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Taking my partner, Holy Spirit, I affirm, “Spirit go before me, make straight and easy my path; translate my perceptions to truth.” I seat myself in theater number 9.
I was introduced to the book “The Disappearance of the Universe” at Pathways of Light. I was fascinated by the radical concepts it presented. In fact I can say, “It blew my mind.” What does it mean the universe is an illusion; the body is not real; the world is a projection of ego’s thoughts, feelings and beliefs? What does it mean that the only reality is the presence of the Holy Spirit, Who is within us to remind us of God’s Love and lead us toward our true home? What does the book mean that our only job is to practice forgiveness and allow the Holy Spirit to lead us to true healing?
I feel guided to share with you about my journey with Pathways course 2010: Spiritual Relationship Counselor Training. When I took this training, I received more than I ever imagined or hoped to expect. It is simply structured, highly intuitive and most importantly, honest. If we are willing, we can bring to Light some of our most profound fears for healing and continual growth.
Starting with this issue of Miracles News, we will be highlighting Pathways of Light ministers and the work they are doing here at the Center in Kiel, Wisconsin or in their communities. We will also explore what they are doing to continue with their practice of stepping back and following the lead of the Holy Spirit. We would like to begin by highlighting Reverend Nancy Schilli.
I have been working on course 905: Special Relationships vs Holy Relationships. It is a wonderful course and I’ve experienced several shifts in perception. One of the sections points out how we project our own sense of guilt onto others. It asks that I think of ways the errors in my brother seem to be hard to understand. I am asked to make note of these errors. Immediately I thought of my ex-husband. We have been divorced for very nearly four years now and I can still list his errors in pretty impressive detail, so I used him to do this exercise.
On October 11th, 2003, a neighbor asked me if I would tutor his eighth grade son, whom the father was afraid might become a high school dropout. The school had been thinking about keeping him in seventh grade for an additional year.
A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson 332 was a good one for me. I had decorated a wicker pumpkin for the Thanksgiving holiday and took it to work. I put it on the front desk as a decoration, with the intention of taking it back home when the holiday was over. With all the flowers and other stuff I put into it, not to mention my time and effort, it turned out to be costly.
Pathways of Light ministers are taught from the first group encounter to “hold the space” for each other. Psychotherapists and counselors are also taught this important concept but not quite so extreme. It is very hard not to want to verbally or physically comfort someone during a painful experience. Holding the Space is so important that we are strongly discouraged not to let ourselves (ego, really) get in the way of some else’s healing. This is a very good spiritual and therapeutic practice.
Putting all trust where it belongs.
So much strength in knowing
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