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January-March, 2006

How a Spiritual Perspective Can Change Your Experience

by Dennis Gaither, MD

We live in a world seemingly determined by events around us and experienced through our senses. We see before us many separate objects and separate bodies with a mind or will of their own. Everything our senses tell us seems to remind us, to convince us, that we are alone and separate in a world of scarcity, competition and danger.  A world in which what we have, what we have worked for, can be taken from us in an instant.

We try to buy some sense of security in this world in countless ways:  relationships (or in the avoidance of them!), through our jobs and roles, through bank accounts and insurance policies. We try to protect ourselves from a perceived threatening world in many other ways. We seek safety in isolation, personal and national weapons, keeping our guard up, and joining with others in alliances against persons or groups.

This perspective has us imbeded firmly in this world, which seems like our only “reality.” From this perspective, our sufferings and our moments of pleasure seem to come from outside of ourselves. We identify ourselves as bodies, with all of the body’s limitations, including, inevitably, its death. We feel a need to protect the body’s vulnerability and take revenge on those other bodies that we feel have harmed us in some way.

We constantly — whether consciously or not — strive to define ourselves and others in terms of the body, by what it looks like or what it does. We use terms like beautiful or ugly, fat or slim, man or woman, successful or a failure, victim and rescuer, hero and villain. We categorize ourselves and others by job, gender, status, income, family situation, sexual orientation and countless other ways.  All of these we use to define a self-concept for ourselves and others. 

We defend our self-concepts vigorously and constantly. There is no surer way to trigger anger or upset than to have our self concepts challenged or questioned.  Even a self concept that obviously causes much pain, such as that of the victim, will be defended and held onto as if it were something essential to the person.

This thought system of separation we call the ego.  From within this thought system our prospects seem bleak indeed, a life of constant struggle, one problem after another. The best we can hope for is some compromise in which we limit our lives to manage our pain as well as possible and get what enjoyment we can.  But even in our moments of pleasure there is always lurking within us the fear that it can be taken away in an instant.

According to A Course in Miracles, our tolerance for pain may be great, but it is not without limit and eventually each one of us realizes that “there must be a better way.”

This is a crucial step because, until we are willing to see that our suffering comes from within us through our thought system, we will continue to play out our ego-based self concepts, feel helpless, betrayed, angry and in pain. It is through our willingness for “a better way” and our willingness to take responsibility for our own experience that we can begin our journey to true healing — a healing of the perception that we are beings separate unto ourselves.

If this ego perspective of the world is not all there is, then what else is there? And how can we see that world instead of this world that seems so real to us?

Whatever this other perspective is, it is not one that we can see with our eyes in the usual fashion. Traditional religions speak of a spiritual perspective, but often through the filter of the ego so that we are separated into believers and non-believers, saints and sinners, the “faithful” and the “infidel.” The ego perspective of separation can use spirituality to divide and separate, justify crusades and holy wars, banishment, judgment, guilt and to sanctify sacrifice. This perspective may be useful at some stage of our spirit’s journey, but it does not bring the deepest healing that we seek. For this we must move on to a deeper experience.

Beyond this world of form there is a world of spirit. It cannot be perceived with the senses, but it can be experienced when we are willing to question and let go of all that stands in the way of it. The defining emotional state of the world of form and separation is fear, while that of Spirit is Love. Our path of healing is one of letting go of all of our blocks to the awareness of Love’s presence. “Perfect Love casts out fear.” (From A Course in Miracles.)
As we are here today we are having an experience of being in this body, in this world.  But we also have an experience of spirit, not at all confined to this body, this place, or this time. Our awareness may be limited only to our bodily experience, but we are having a spiritual experience nonetheless.

In a sense you could say that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  And there is in each of us a part of our mind that does remember our True Nature as Spirit, our Oneness with all that is. It is called by many names, such as: Higher Power, Higher Self, Holy Spirit, Christ Consciousness, Buddha Nature, Atman. The words themselves are not important except as symbols that point toward an experience of oneness and Love that does exist within each of us, no matter how deeply it can seem to be buried at times.

It is that experience that guides us along our path, helps us release our blocks to Love’s presence — our grievances, resentments, guilts, hurts and wounds, and our perceived need to be separate and special. We have all had glimpses of that experience. Special moments with a loved one or child, with nature, in prayer or meditation, with some sacred symbol (such as a cross, an altar, Star of David, a church, mosque, synagogue) or with sacred scripture that connects us with the sacred in us.

Through those glimpses, those instants of deeper awareness, we begin to see that we are part of a larger reality. We notice the contrast between the quiet inner peace of Spirit and the noisy clamor of the ego world.  And it awakens in us a deep, long hidden desire to return Home, to reconnect with our true Essence, our Source.

As we awaken, the journey Home becomes more intentional, more directed to that one purpose. We find that we can use every situation we encounter as a way to realize our goal, to help us awaken from the dream of sickness and separation. We become more willing to take responsibility for our ego thoughts, look honestly at them and their results, and realize we have another choice.  We learn that we can offer them to our Higher Self perspective to be transformed and healed. This process of healing, we call forgiveness.

In our confusion and pain we have all said and done unloving things. This does not change the Essence of who we are, but it does greatly affect how we feel about ourselves. Our attack thoughts and actions do affect us. They lead us to feel anxious, depressed, guilty, exhausted, alone, separate and physically ill. Through the defense mechanism of dissociation we do not connect the cause of our symptoms with its effects. The belief in guilt in our minds is mostly kept unconscious and projected onto other persons or situations. This keeps the sense of guilt out of our awareness, but does not protect us from its effects. On the contrary, by keeping the guilt unconscious we guarantee that it will continue to produce effects in the form of physical and emotional symptoms. Undoing the unconscious guilt in our minds by first bringing it into our awareness, releasing the emotional energy of it and then being willing to allow a new understanding from our Higher Self perspective is an essential part of real healing.

With each forgiveness we experience a sense of peace, of healing. We see that forgiveness is really not something we are doing for someone else, but something that heals us, brings us peace and frees us from our own limited perceptions. As we forgive others, we free ourselves. As we see the innocence in others, we see it in ourselves. As we extend the peace of God to others, we experience it for ourselves. As we offer healing, we receive it. 

As we learn to see this world through the eyes of Spirit, we recognize that we are all on a journey together, despite the many forms this may take in each individual. As we forgive we feel less angry, fearful and alone. Instead we see the love, peace and joy that we extend out into the world reflected back to us. We feel more complete within ourselves, more at peace and less in need.  We recognize that our real Home lies within us and that It can never be taken away.

Dennis Gaither, MD is a Pathways of Light minister who lives in Bellingham, Washington.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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January-March, 2006

Accepting Holy Spirit’s Plan Brings Peace

by Rev. Barbara Kraetsch

I recognize today just how often I make plans in advance for myself and others. I think of things I will say and do, and how others will say and do. I make expectations in my mind by scripting in advance. I plan how people will act at family events and parties, meetings, holidays, work schedules — really, almost every situation or event I can think of. I script interactions and moods. I plan it out to meet my needs or what I think would be best, not only for me but others, as well. Sometimes these expectations get locked into my mind and if they don’t happen, I feel keenly disappointed.

I remember receiving my high school graduation gift, a watch. My parents, especially my mother, picked it with care, one she thought would last a lifetime. (Of course, that was in the days when wind-up watches still did!) She saw elegance. I looked at it and saw an old-fashioned, old ladies watch. I wanted something bright, modern and quirky.

The level of disappointment I felt was so strong, I can feel it today as I write this. Part of its strength was also the terror I felt about how I was going to hide my level of disappointment and thank them for the gift in front of all gathered. I knew I wasn’t doing a good job of it. My heart just sank as I opened the box, and I felt no joy. I could not enthusiastically say thanks. I am sure they knew, as did all present, that I didn’t like it as I issued my perfunctory thanks and said it was lovely. I’ve never been very good at hiding my feelings, I’m told. There they are for everyone to see clearly no matter how hard I try to disguise them. 

This scenario has repeated itself many times over in my life. I can think of many disappointing gifts on disappointing birthdays and holidays. I can think of many disappointing conversations during meetings with friends and family, meetings long anticipated with excitement. Yes, I plan details — how things will look, what people will say, even how the food will smell and taste at a holiday dinner. I have been doing this since I was a child.  I can remember vividly the times in my life when my expectations were met or exceeded because the are so rare, and were so fleetingly temporary.

During my last few years as an ACIM student, I have practiced changing this old habit. It is a tough one to break. I thought I was making good progress, but all of a sudden I have come to realize how deeply embedded in my unconscious is this habit.  I am planning details before I even recognize I am do it. Out of the unconscious comes thoughts of fear in a steady stream.  I underestimated what comes forth from this mysterious place or force at a never ending pace. Today I sit in amazement at the vast undertow that is present there, like the force under the waves coming to shore that can, once caught, suck someone far out into the ocean. Once caught in the undertow of the unconscious mind, I am sucked into a world of illusive expectations set up to keep me feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled because they cannot be met. They cannot be met because they are false, only a dream of something grand but not grand themselves.

What to do when recognizing one is caught, yet again, in the undertow of expectations, is to, yet again, ask to be released. We have to be willing to let go of expectations and come back to the present, listening to Holy Spirit, and leaving all planning to His capable hands.
As I listen now, with Holy Spirit, I can choose trust and find peace. And, also, find forgiveness of myself that there are these thoughts streaming from the unconscious that invite separation. I cannot change my unconscious, I don’t even know what is in it! I must leave this all to Holy Spirit. As in the conscious mind I choose to be joined with Him in truth, the stream of unconscious thought can come forth to be looked at in the light of truth without fear. 

As I consciously join with Holy Spirit, I forgive myself for the world I think I make with my mind. Right now I choose to give plans and expectations to Him, for I no longer wish to make a future that is designed to bring me only pain. As I open my mind to that which Holy Spirit will provide me, I open my mind to pleasant surprise. As circumstances and events unfold, there can only be delight for me if I give all my expectations to Him, and only expect to find Him everywhere in everything. This is a conscious choice I make now and it brings me peace. In this, there is complete forgiveness of all I think I project, and also forgiveness of what yet lurks in the unconscious, waiting to stream forth in my unmindful moments to sweep me out to the sea of fear, and the fear of being lost in the sea of fear. Yes, this happens over and over again until my mind is completely healed.

I am recognizing I need not have any fear of being lost in fear. Holy Spirit is always there in His rescue boat, ready to lead me to the harbor of peace, safe and secure, as I always was in truth. My expectations sink me.  Holy Spirit helps me walk on water to the safe shore of truth. All I need do is take His hand and by so doing, let go of my thought, for I cannot hold both in my hands. I can only hold one or the other. Only Holy Spirit’s thought uplifts me.

So, for today, I let go of my expectations and plans.  I grab Holy Spirit’s hand, His thought, and His plan. I can only know this by staying in the present moment with Him. This is the only way I can remain untroubled about the future, expecting nothing but His love and His help, and trusting it will be there always.  This is a good day, a Godly day, when I let Holy Spirit look ahead for me and I follow Him to joy, knowing I can never get there on my own.

Rev. Barbara Kraetsch is a Pathways of Light minister living in Hartford, Wisconsin.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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January-March, 2006

Do We Have to Suffer to Grow Spiritually?

by Rev. Marie Hanson

This question was asked at our A Course in Miracles discussion group recently.  What a great question! My mind immediately went into its busy-ness and monkey business. It would go to a back burner, and then come to the front.  It intrigued me. It eluded me. It deserved meditation and reflection.

I am aware of a part of me that always knows. It is joyful, peaceful. Then, there is the part of me that can be nosey and argumentative. It is noisy and brings my mind evidence to contradict Truth. My split mind!  How clever it is. Holy Spirit’s help is always at hand.  And invite Him in I did.  Ahhh…

Let’s look at suffering first.  What is it for you?  There are many things on the level of the body and mind that may cause suffering.  Perhaps an attachment, a special relationship or thoughts of separateness steal away your attention of the here and now.  But does suffering exist on the level of the Spirit?  I don’t believe it does.

At the level of the Spirit there is only perfection. Spirit, being perfect, is changeless, constant. It does not know suffering. Suffering is not understandable and insane to the Spirit. Spirit does not grow. We can not add to it. 

Let’s look at what we mean by growth now: “to develop more fully.” Based on the Spirit being perfect and changeless, this must refer to the level of the body and mind.  Bodies and minds grow and develop. It makes sense then, that at this level of the body and mind, we can experience our perceived suffering and growth. So, what do we mean when we say “spiritual growth?”

I believe that it refers to our experience of Spirit. When we suffer, we forget Who We Are.  We perceive our self as limited and in a body, unable to escape. Our mind is insane with nonsensical thoughts. Our suffering continues until we are ready to remember the Truth and invite the Holy Spirit in. Ah-ha!  This is where spiritual growth resides!

It is there in our experience of the Spirit at the level of the mind and body. This moment, the undoing, the miracle of the present and our Truth that we are not a body or mind, but Spiritual Beings having a human experience. This is the point where we “develop more fully” our awareness that we are Spirit. So, does this require our suffering?

That is up to us. Our perceptions of suffering can lead us to grow spiritually. As we chose again, we may not necessarily suffer, recognizing our Truth more quickly as we “develop more fully.” Happy Growing!

Rev. Marie Hanson is a Pathways of Light minister living in Carson City, Nevada.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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January-March, 2006

How Am I Victimized?

by Rev. Myron Jones

Thanksgiving was more meaningful to me this year than it usually is. I have so much to be thankful for. That I am still here after the hurricane season is at the top on my list. In fact, my life is one blessing after another. My home is undamaged, my family safe, my town getting back to normal. My life is so good that you would think I would have trouble finding things to complain about, but not so. In fact, I was thinking about something just the other day.

I have a new vehicle. Having a new car is good, but I really don’t like the process of buying one. This time it wasn’t all that bad, though. However, after the purchase was complete, I realized that they had not included a package that was supposed to be part of the deal.

I wasn’t really that upset about not having the package which was designed to protect the vehicle long term, and I seldom have a car long term, but I was charged for it and felt like I had been taken advantage of. As I sat there fuming over the situation, I realized that I felt like I was a victim of an unscrupulous dealership.

Hearing myself think the word victim brought me up short. There is a lesson from ACIM that I have found very helpful. It says, “I am not a victim of the world I see.” Since I started working with this idea, I have seen the value in it over and over. When I hear the word victim, my mind sends up a red flag, as it did this time. As I sat there thinking about how I had bought into the idea that I am a victim, I realized that I have done this too often lately. I laughed at myself as I thought. “How am I victimized? Let me count the ways.”

Well this promised to be a long list as I recognized that I often feel victimized even though I don’t always think of it that way. Take the dealership victim story. I felt like a victim because I paid for something I didn’t get, and it certainly looks like this is the case. It did actually happen, after all. However, there is a difference in what happens, and how I feel about it. Sometimes I don’t have a lot of control over what happens. I do have absolute control over how I think about it, and how I think about anything determines how I feel about it.

Knowing this is true, I could try to change how I feel by changing the world. For instance, I could call the dealership and complain until someone did something about it. But changing the world doesn’t always work, does it? Maybe they would comply, and maybe they wouldn’t. It is not something I can depend on. I cannot have peace around anything if I cannot depend on it.

So a better way to do it is to work with the only thing that I do have control over, and that is my own mind. I can always change my thoughts. What I chose to do about the dealership was to forgive the whole situation. I had to do this more than once because at first, I didn’t mean it. I wanted peace of mind, but I also wanted to be angry with them. I can’t have both, so I had to choose. Finally, I decided that I wanted to be happy more than I wanted to be right.

This does not preclude taking action, but it does mean that I can act from a place of empowerment, and of love rather than of victimhood. If I am peaceful when I take action, I will make better choices. Since my goal in life is to extend peace and love, I have already succeeded regardless of what happens with my car.

There is definitely an attraction to victimhood. I always prefer that my problems be someone else’s fault. It requires vigilance on my part just to be mindful of when I do this. I am not going to take each individual instance and try to convince myself that I am not a victim. I choose to know that I am never a victim.

An interesting thing happened after I chose forgiveness in this case. A couple of days later, I received a phone call from Honda taking a survey on my buying experience. As part of the survey I told them about the package. They assure me that I will be getting a phone call from the dealership about having it installed. If they do, it would be great. If they don’t, I am not going to waste any of my life worrying about it. My goal is to have peace and happiness, and that is my only goal. I have no desire to be a victim.

There are many opportunities to reject victimhood. When my computer got a virus, I felt like a victim of the malicious actions of the person who created the virus. I could have stayed there blaming that person for my anger and frustration, but I chose not to be a victim. I gave my feelings to the Holy Spirit and asked Him to join me in this forgiveness process. I forgave the writer of the virus, the person who inadvertently sent it to me, and myself for my brief foray into victimhood. Asking the Holy Spirit to join me in my forgiveness process allowed any unconscious guilt I might be harboring to be healed at the same time.

There are clues to let me know that I am falling into the victim trap. If I blame someone else for what has happened to me, or for how I feel, then I am setting myself up to be the victim. That someone did do something to me is not the issue. I cannot change what people do. The issue is that what I feel or do is in my control.

Forgiveness is the process given me by God to awaken from the dream that I am at the mercy of the world. I am not. In the crucifixion in which Jesus forgave his tormentors, he was showing us that, even in the most extreme of circumstances, forgiveness is the answer. Did Jesus choose victimhood by blaming the Romans for crucifying him? No, he used it to teach that our only answer to attack is forgiveness.

Of course the hardest thing about giving up the victim stance is that I am left with no one to blame. Who is responsible for how I feel if the other person isn’t. Oooh! It must be me! No wonder I would rather be the victim. Who wants to be at fault? And how unfair is that? Someone does something to me; I feel bad; I am at fault? That’s not right! And yet, I cannot be happy as long as I am a victim. I get some small satisfaction from seeing someone else at fault, but that hardly makes up for my lack of peace, and lack of happiness.

So if victimhood isn’t the answer, why do we so often choose it? What’s the payoff? Well, for one thing, if someone else is responsible, I don’t have to do anything about it. If I am in pain because you treated me badly, then what am I supposed to do about it? You are the one who is to blame. You have to apologize, or in some way make up for your behavior for me to be happy again.

Isn’t this a common reaction in many relationships? Your partner takes her bad day out on you. You, of course, feel abused, and the victim of her bad temper. So what is more natural than to be angry with her until she apologizes? You have just put your feelings into her hands, and made her responsible for your well being. Not being responsible is the hook that pulls you into victimhood. And not being responsible is the pay off. If you are not responsible, you don’t have to do anything about it.

On the other hand, not taking responsibility for your own feelings is also the cost of victimization, because it leaves you in misery with no way out. Oh, you may have developed a system to manipulate her into accepting responsibility for your feelings. Probably a liberal application of guilt will get you what you think you need. But now you owe her because the guilt you seemed to have placed on her is making her miserable, and of course now you’re at fault. She is now the victim of your actions. What a vicious circle! And where does it end? The whole thing is insane.

It ends when one of you is sane enough to see what you are doing. Whichever one is most sane in the moment decides that the payoff of victimhood is not worth the cost. One person in the relationship decides to take responsibility for him or her self. This breaks the cycle. When anyone calls on the Holy Spirit to join them in forgiveness, then it is done. No more victim, no more perpetrator. No more need for someone to blame. It is never a question of who is really to blame. It is always a question of what do I really want? Do I want to be a victim? Do I want to find someone to blame, someone to make wrong, and so avoid the responsibility of taking action? Or do I want to be happy? What is my goal here?

If I choose happiness, the next step is easy. I decide that I am never the victim, and that forgiveness is always the answer. I form the habit of forgiveness, always inviting the Holy Spirit to join me in that process. After that, it is just a matter of making this my new way of doing things.  Like all habits, it only requires practice, and believe me, life will supply me with plenty of chances to practice.

We all play the victim sometimes, and we all play the victimizer at other times. What I propose is that we give up both roles. The only way for me to give up the role of victim is to forgive your role as victimizer. The only way for me to relinquish my role of victimizer is to stop seeing you as victim. I gladly forgive us both, because forgiveness through the Holy Spirit is my only ticket out of this mess. Because this solution is a “God solution” it will work for both of us and it will work every time. Hallelujah!

Rev. Myron Jones is a Pathways of Light minister living in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways of Light web site.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this copyright notice and website address are included.

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