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April-June, 2020

Ten Years After

by Rev. Larry Glenz, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

When I hear the words “ten years after,” I always think of the rock band of the same name that played at Woodstock over 50 years ago. I remember little about their music but the name always intrigued me. Things are usually different ten years after.

In a few days from this writing, it will be February 14, 2020 — Valentine’s Day. It will be ten years after my son’s transition following a fatal heroin overdose. And things seem different ten years after.

The years before Kevin’s passing were tumultuous. Heroin addicts cause enormous problems for family, friends, and community. I have no desire to revisit those difficult days now.

I know that both sides of Kevin’s family — my family — will connect with each other on February 14 in some way with texts, phone calls, emails or personal visits. Every Valentine’s Day since has been a day of sadness but also a demonstration of love and forgiveness in our family.

I remember during the time of my greatest sorrow that I felt Holy Spirit’s presence telling me that I “would not be left comfortless.” I have since met with many people who have lost their child in such a way. Many never expect to know any comfort, any happiness ever again. They don’t believe they can recover from the heartache and pain. And so they don’t.

I do not believe this is the case for Kevin’s family. Although we all might be in vastly different stages of a spiritual awakening, we all feel strongly connected by our love for Kevin. That supersedes any anger or pettiness that existed among us during the seven years that accompanied Kevin’s addiction. I refer to those years as “the Terror.”

During the Terror, we all fought with each other over issues concerning how to handle Kevin’s addiction. His mom and I particularly were at loggerheads. There was no peace between us and that set a bad tone for all.

Since his passing, however, both sides of Kevin’s family have forgiven each other and forgiven ourselves for not being able to save Kevin’s life. This didn’t happen immediately, but we gradually let go of the guilt. We let go of the blame. The resentments have eased considerably.

My ex-wife and I are now kinder and more tender to each other. That in itself is amazing. We fought constantly during the Terror. We were scared and confused about how to change what was happening to our son.

My wife, Laura, and Kevin’s mom are now supportive of each other. They go to lunch and they buy each other presents on holidays. This is a very positive change in our lives.

My son Matt, Kevin’s only sibling, had his first child exactly 9 months after we lost Kevin. He now has two daughters who have helped him to heal from the pain of losing his only brother.

Kevin’s daughter Olivia is now 10 years old. She is surrounded with the love of Kevin’s family. She is a beautiful girl who plays sports and has A’s all over her report card. Kevin’s mom has taken her all around the country to establish her roots with family members in NY, California, New England, Florida, and West Virginia. And she looks so much like Kevin.

When I wrote my book, Forgiving Kevin, neither Kevin’s mom nor brother wanted it published. They did not want the family’s privacy violated by me telling this story. I had breached the anonymity of my family members.

Somehow, through God’s grace, they have changed their mind. They are both comfortable with the idea that our story is helping other families suffering during this opioid epidemic. I have been speaking to high schools, middle schools, colleges, and community groups about my family’s experience with dealing with a loved one in the throes of opioid addiction. We receive much feedback that Kevin’s story — our story — is helping others who are in the Terror.

Ten years after, there has been a gradual but powerful healing. Kevin’s spirit has connected us and strengthened us. I personally give all the credit to Holy Spirit Who guided us throughout the difficult times.

Ten years after, I feel Holy Spirit’s love surround my family. We are kinder, gentler and more loving. And I am so very grateful for all of it.

Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2020

Loneliness

by Rev. Joyce Peebles, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

In the epilogue Jesus ends the workbook by talking about not being alone and comfortless. By the end of the workbook, hopefully we have made the choice to choose a different teacher, realizing that everything the ego has taught us is not going to make us happy or feel safe or fulfilled. One lesson we learned from the ego was loneliness. It is painful. If someone does not give us the affection or time we think we need, we feel lacking or not loved. ACIM tells us, “You have so little faith in yourself because you are unwilling to accept the fact that perfect love is in you, and so you seek without for what you cannot find within.” (T-15.VI.2:1)

Our ego equates loneliness with lack of love. The Holy Spirit tells us the opposite, that we are love and just are unaware of who and what we really are. Jesus’ last words of the workbook are, “You do not walk alone, God’s angels hover near and all about. His Love surrounds you, and of this be sure, that I will never leave you comfortless.”

Jesus understands what a huge motivating factor loneliness can be. People get and stay married to avoid loneliness. They tolerate abusive relationships to avoid loneliness. They even commit suicide. Somehow our egos feel safer, loved and more acceptable when we “have someone else.”

Real safety and knowing you are loved do not come from special relationships. They come by knowing who you really are — loved and completely safe as the separation never happened. Egos want their love and comfort “with skin on it.” How safe is it to trust in an illusion? Jesus tells us “not for one instant does the body exist.” All our pain comes from believing in the idea of separation and not remembering we are Love. I am not saying we do not need other people. I am saying we find lasting love when we remember those people are spiritual beings having a human experience. When we see them as the Love they are, we see it in our self.

When the ego is loudly shrieking about loneliness, it is hard to hear the Holy Spirit. Quieting our self is necessary to hear and feel the love and comfort that surrounds us. It is a choice we each make. Our happiness depends on it. We need to learn to trust the Holy Spirit more than we trust our ego thoughts. This Comforter can teach us to stop seeing ourselves as victims, alone and loveless, as though the world and people were doing things to us. Rather we can start seeing ourselves as students who have it all to learn. Then we see that the lessons life offers are our purpose for living.

Ending loneliness has nothing to do with understanding anybody else or fixing a situation. It is not achieved by getting someone to approve of us or be physically present. Healing loneliness is a release from fear. We can move away from loneliness by moving toward more healing thoughts. Decide you want the peace of God, get still. Remember that you do not perceive your own best interest.

To be peaceful means giving up being right and being willing to let go of suffering and victimhood. There is nobody to blame, the focus is not outward but inward. Dwell on thoughts of all you are thankful for now. Focus on the Love and Oneness we all are a part of. In reality there is nothing else. Not feeling lonely is a choice we make.

Rev. Joyce Peebles is a Pathways of Light minister living in Hot Springs Village, AR Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2020

Listening to the Still Small Voice

by Rev. Gina Lucia, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

In this world of opposites, the ego will always speak first and speak the loudest. The first step is to identify whose “voice” you’re hearing, the ego or Holy Spirit’s.

A question I recently asked while facilitating a training course is, “Do you know how to identify if you’re hearing ego or Spirit?” I received beautiful answers: “I feel peace, calm, receptive, at ease, … I hear a still, small voice, when I hear Spirit.”

Some replies for hearing ego were, “I feel anxious, confusion, uncertain, loss, fear.” I myself have paused and asked myself while ping-ponging on the horizontal plane, “What am I thinking right now?” Usually if I find myself there, I most likely was either in the past or the future, a telltale sign. “I’m not thinking with the mind of God right now (pause). Phew, I get to choose again.”

Moment to moment thinking with God is where we find the miracle, simply a change in perception. In the moment is where we find peace, a place where ego would rather keep us from being, for there is where we find God, in the present moment. There is a swinging back and forth between letting go and holding on when we become aware of the two thought systems, Love and fear. Holy Spirit is always here to assist. We need just ask, but we must be willing to receive.

Lesson 49 in A Course In Miracles, “God’s Voice speaks to me all through the day.”

While we are identifying with the ego, we are constantly searching, usually seeking within the perimeters of the five senses (the material world). The Course teaches that the ego seeks but does not find. We never have enough in this material world, an endless mirror of lack, when in fact what we are truly seeking in our hearts and souls is our deepest connection to Source, God, Which is Love. We are searching for our deepest innate LOVE, something we can only achieve through a true communion with God. This is an experience one has.Prayer is the medium for this, proven to take us into a theta state quicker than even meditation. Holy Spirit is always just right there, patiently waiting for the slightest invite to escort us; we must ask… and again be willing to receive.

“The Holy Spirit will respond fully to your slightest invitation.” (T-5.VII.6)

It has been said the lowest form of love to experience in the human condition is romantic love, the highest form to experience being compassion. We were created by Love as Love. We do not need to seek for what we already have. The Course teaches us we do not need to seek for Love but to seek for the barriers we hold in our mind that deny Love’s presence.

“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” (T-16.5:6)

What we perceive in the world through the body’s eyes is not seen full spectrum, because ego denies the truth that only the oneness of Love is real. This is where the dualistic thought system comes in, fear or Love. We can only inhabit one thought system at a time, we are either in one or the other, moment by moment. Only one is “real.” I find that the only way to get me into “reality” is with the assistance of the Holy Spirit, not just to see with the eyes of Christ, but to listen for that still, small Voice.

Join with me this moment in a song of prayer: “Be still an instant. Underneath the sounds of harsh and bitter striving and defeat there is a Voice that speaks to you of Me. Hear this an instant and you will be healed. Hear this an instant and you will be saved.” (S-3.lV.7:4-7)

A spiritual life is not a mental, intellectual experience through the body’s eyes. It is a prayerful, contemplative, mystical, reflective journey that will bring question to your ever changing mental world. Your mind is the last place you want to be as you contemplate the mystical nature of what is real in your life and what is of value. Take with you this: “Nothing Real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exits. Herein lies the peace of God.” (T-in.2:1-4)

Gina Lucia is a Pathways of Light minister living in W. Sacramento, California.
Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2020

Mission No Longer Impossible

by Kathy Croy, Pathways of Light Miracles Practitioner student

The “Mission Impossible” TV series originated the year I graduated from high school. It was an intriguing plot that involved individuals willing to put life and limb on the line to avert crime and expose the bad guys. It was interesting enough that I watched whenever my schedule permitted, and I was always amazed at the clever ways the characters accomplished those missions.

Fast forward 50+ years, and the concept revisited me as I contemplated Lesson 106 recently.

“Let me be still and listen to the truth.

I am the messenger of God today.

My voice is His, to give what I receive.”

There is an individual who deeply hurt me several years ago. I won’t share details other than to say the only worse thing that could have happened would have been for this person to take my life — which, honestly, at the time probably would have been an act of mercy. In the years since, I’ve experienced a veritable rainbow of ego intent towards this person — everything from hate and resentment to bitterness. Now I have moved to the unthinkable:

Pure love.

Over the past year, following years of Course-led forgiveness practices — mainly of myself, surprisingly enough, because it all starts with me — I can honestly say I hold nothing but intense, pure loving thoughts towards my former nemesis. I pray intentional blessings, prosperity and goodness from a heart that has completely released offense.

However, this did not come without a cost. Ego perpetuated a niggling sense of personal guilt. Why would I be feeling such intense love towards this individual when I have no contact, no future, no personal gain other than peace, finally? Was I hiding ulterior motives? I asked Holy Spirit for clarification, correction, and direction. Each time the question has been met with another sense of consuming, blazing love.

Again, this morning, as I read Lesson 106 again, it became clear that this is my opportunity to accept “The Mission.” This isn’t about me or a former enemy; it’s about the Sonship and salvation of the world. It’s doing my small part to redeem a former hate the Course talks about. Holy Spirit knew I probably wouldn’t get the message — or the invitation — unless it was engraved with His handwriting.

Paragraph 5 of Lesson 106 brought this to light:

“Hear Him today, and listen to the Word which lifts the veil that lies upon the earth, and wakes all those who sleep and cannot see. God calls to them through you. He needs your voice to speak to them, for who could reach God’s Son except his Father calling through your Self? Hear Him today and offer Him your voice to speak to all the multitude who wait to hear the Word that He will speak today.”

While I was extremely relieved to have released the egoic attacks toward this person, the overwhelming love felt inappropriate, self-serving, terrifying, and just plain wrong. But this morning as I stated my Rules for Decision, I was inspired to take a closer look at this “wrongness.” Could the ego be throwing its selfish veil over this love, trying to hide God’s intent in using my experience as a tool for salvation and not a weapon to silence me?

In Manual for Teachers, Section 4.A.4:5-7 we are told,

“It takes great learning to understand that all things, events, encounters and circumstances are helpful. It is only to the degree which they are helpful that any degree of reality should be accorded to them in this world of illusion. The word “value” can apply to nothing else.”

I have now realized my previous perception of this devastating past experience has been miraculously transformed into an opportunity to extend love. The individual whose likeness is the inspiration for understanding that love is not the sole target. God intends this not only help me understand the intensity of His love for me, but His love for the world. I now have a clearer understanding of the Oneness I’ve been reading about.

At the end of Lesson 72, paragraph 13:3-4 the Course is clear about the alternative.

“Holding grievances is an attack on God’s plan for salvation. Let me accept it instead.”

Instead of ego tempting me to guilt and hiding away the intensity of God’s love for the world, I am accepting His Mission; no longer impossible.

Kathy Croy is a Pathways of Light student living in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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