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April-June, 2014

Excerpts from a Spiritual Journal

by Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C.

Mind Watching

So, I’ve been diligently watching the thoughts in my mind and asking Holy Spirit to judge them for me and to sanction the true thoughts, correct those with some truth, and to take away the ones that are not salvageable. I have been doing this for years. Lately, I have been identifying with the truth more than the ego and my mind watching is evolving.

What I am doing now is visualizing myself sitting on this big chair watching the play of thoughts through my mind. Sometimes I find an untrue thought that still interests me and suddenly I am no longer observing from my big chair, but instead I seem to be in the body, in the story, in the drama. Sooner or later, because it is so painful to be in that place, I realize what I have done and choose again.

Sometimes it makes me laugh to hear the ego chatter away, looking for someone to blame for some perceived attack. Always I remember to ask for help and it is like I popped back in my chair and now I am the audience again, watching a long running play. These visuals help me because I can use them more quickly and more readily than an affirmation or anything with words.

Reading the Course

One of the things that has made the Course easier for me to understand is realizing that Jesus seems to be speaking to us on three different levels. He speaks to me as if I really was Myron and new to these ideas. He speaks to me as my soul/spirit, and He speaks of the ultimate, the Self that is with God.

Something else that has made the Course really come alive for me is that I have put aside all the concepts and beliefs I have developed or learned about over the years. I started reading with the Holy Spirit the parts of A Course in Miracles from the beginning, a paragraph at a time, as if I were reading it the first time.

In doing this I see where I got it wrong in the past. I thought I understood something, and maybe I did, but now my understanding is deeper. Also I see where I accepted what others told me and re-reading this now, I am able to see with more clarity. I do this by putting aside what I learned from others and allowing the Holy Spirit to give me what I need to know now.

Listening to the Holy Spirit

Over the years I have developed a connection with Spirit and as I read the Course I ask that He guide me to see as He sees, at least to the level I am able. I write these words of wisdom and the explanations that seem to come to me in my journal and I share them in case others find them helpful, too.

I really, really recommend this process of asking for correct channeling to everyone. The Holy Spirit knows our level of understanding and speaks directly to us if we listen. We can receive words from an enlightened master but if we are not ready for them it might as well be written in Greek, as they say. That is why we have the Holy Spirit. He knows what we are ready to receive and how to give it to us in a way that is helpful.

Gratitude

I notice that when I am not focused on my purpose, I am focused on ego instead. When I am focused on ego I feel the effects of ego; I am angry, I am fearful, I feel guilty, frustrated, or sad. I don’t feel grateful because my life doesn’t feel like something to be grateful for. When I become tired of this feeling and do something to break the cycle, I return my attention to God.

I begin to feel light and happy. I feel expansive as gratitude fills my heart. I begin to see everyone differently. Instead of seeing my boss as difficult, I think how lucky I am that he took a chance on me when I was new to the job and didn’t know anything. I begin to see his behavior as a call for love, and think what I could say or do that would be helpful.

When I feel grateful I see situations differently. If I am not feeling gratitude for each thing in my life it quickly becomes just another problem in an endless line of problems. Instead of seeing something as a problem or as a frightening situation, I see it as the next step in my awakening. This changes everything.

The World

The world has one purpose; that is to hide my sense of guilt from myself by providing a place to put it. I keep the world in place every time I look outside myself for someone to blame, or for a solution to an inner problem. I keep the world in place through seeing myself as victim. As long as I think I need the world to be the repository of my guilt, I will not be willing to give it up.

There is another solution. I can look at these guilty, fearful thoughts with the Holy Spirit and let Him reinterpret them for me. I can do this instead of trying to hide them in the world I see. The Holy Spirit will never fail to respond to my request for help because this is His function.

Belief in Lack

I looked at my thoughts about retirement. I saw a lot of fear and I realized that I have a belief that retirement is another word for poverty. My ego mind doesn’t see a way to correct this problem and so thinking about it makes me anxious. I tried to relegate it to the back of my mind but what I noticed is that the belief in lack, when not questioned, gets projected into my life in many ways.

I lost a customer and this means a loss of income. There was a change in the payment structure at work that created an upper limit on my possible income. The tile in my sanctuary is peeling up and needs to be replaced. I need a crown for a cracked tooth. I am seeing less income and more expenses.

I even noticed that it was showing up in my non-profit, The Way Home. There has always been plenty of money in that account for whatever projects we were funding. Suddenly we didn’t have enough money to fully fund a scholarship for a ministerial student that we were providing for. I spoke to my Board of Directors and offered them the opportunity to join me in healing the mind of the belief in lack.

This is the way it worked for me. I watched my thoughts about retirement. I saw that I felt guilty for letting this happen. I should have planned. I should have saved. I felt embarrassment to admit that in 65 years I have failed to learn anything about financial planning. I saw separation as I talked to people who were enjoying their well-planned retirement and knew that this would not be my story.

Having seen the thoughts in my mind, I became ready to allow them to be healed. I brought all my dark thoughts to the Holy Spirit Who holds the Light that dispels darkness. As my mind was healed, the Holy Spirit gave me new thoughts.

Nothing I say or do or fail to say or do can affect my Self. I remain as God created me.

I am not guilty because my mind is part of God and there is no guilt in God.

God does not Will I suffer and He certainly does not Will I suffer for my “sins.”

I began to relax and accept the Atonement for my mistaken thoughts and beliefs.

My Board of Directors and I have shared about our processes and everyone feels blessed by this opportunity. What I have seen since this healing is that The Way Home is once again receiving donations. We were able to meet our obligation to our ministerial student and we are building our reserve for the next scholarship. We did nothing to create this funding other than to heal our own minds.

For myself, I am still working on this healing of my mind. I am no longer living with constant anxiety about retirement, but I still notice thoughts of lack in my mind. I am grateful for the opportunity to allow deeper healing of that belief.

Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways website. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) Myron’s website is: http://www.forgivenessisthewayhome.org

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2014

Safe in God While I Heal

by Rev. Peggy Rivera, O.M.C.

For the past two weeks I have struggled with what started out as a virus and then soon became a lung infection. I have had asthma for many years along with several other health conditions I have been concerned about. One night I became so distressed over not being able to get any air I considered calling 911.

My husband works away and commutes so I am alone part of the time. I cried out to Holy Spirit, “What do I need to learn from this? Where do I need to heal my mind?”

When I ask for help, it doesn’t always come as words; it is often symbols that appear to me. I saw flashbacks of my younger sister nearly dying from asthma and then I saw my father being put on a ventilator. I said, “Holy Spirit I am so frightened, I cannot breathe and I am afraid I may not make it through the night.”

That night we had a teleconference class for ACIM Practitioner Course 910: Living I The World While Waking Up. When I shared about my experience to the group, some of the students understood and offered Love and Light to me. I felt held in that cocoon of Love and Light all night after that. After the teleconference session, our mind healing partner (facilitator) emailed me to tell me that I didn’t need to believe I was bound to what happened to my family.

I again thought about the flash backs I experienced before and asked Holy Spirit for help again. I repeated from the Text, I do not know what anything, including this, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now. (T-14.XI.6:7-9) This is what we had been discussing during the teleconference session. I was just listening because of the circumstances, but I am so glad I did.

I went to pray and I told God, “I Love you Father and I know you Love me and I will bask in your Love through the night. I am safe in your Love.” Soon I felt calmer and I noticed I was breathing more rhythmically and relaxed.

I continued to have flash backs throughout the night. I remembered my brother Jimmy taking his last breath as I held him in my arms and my mother struggling as she took her last breath. I thought, “I wonder if this is about fear or loss?” The flash backs continued, but now they were about grievances I had held about being mistreated. My thoughts felt like a part of me was in conversation with Holy Spirit about feeling like my life has been a little bit of a battle ground and I have had to fight to survive. Then I heard, “Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.” Wow! No wonder I haven’t received some miraculous healing. I would not have grown through it. I realized the pictures were stimuli to show me what was in my inner world. I will heal, but it may not happen overnight. I will use every chance to learn how to heal my mind.

If I just woke up one day and didn’t have asthma anymore, I might not have been able to heal my thoughts, so I don’t think the healing would be complete. It is not easy, but I did not receive a promise that it would be. As long as I keep in mind that God only wants what is good for me and He Loves me, I am willing to keep working on the goal.

Rev. Peggy Rivera, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Palm Bay, Florida.  Website: http://www.rev.priveralifeministries.com

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2014

Teaching All the Time

by Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C.

“The power of witness comes from your belief. And everything you say or do or think but testifies to what you teach to him.” (T-27.II.5:4-5)

We are all teaching — all the time. So truly, what is it that I desire to teach?

It seems that this has been the question in my mind ever since I retired from teaching history at Lynbrook High School on Long Island. As I continue my study of A Course in Miracles, I am becoming more aware that we are always teaching something to each other. I just need to keep asking, “Is it love or fear that is guiding my thoughts right now?”

I lost my son Kevin four years ago on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday but it also feels like it was a dream that happened long ago. That day does split time for me in my mind into things that occurred before his fatal overdose and events that took place after.

During the seven years of Kevin’s opiate addiction, I was full of fear thoughts. At the same time, I was trained and focused on letting Holy Spirit change my thoughts and guide my behavior as the father of an addict. I have often told this story to others and wrote a book, Forgiving Kevin, to describe my experience. I often had difficulty following Spirit’s advice but I made a strong effort to put Him in charge.

Since that day four years ago, there seems to have been a transformation in my thinking. I have been able to better understand what ACIM has been teaching me for two decades: There is no death. Kevin’s love pours into me when I turn to him for help. I see him as Holy Spirit’s lieutenant — perhaps as a guiding angel. That might seem like a big stretch for someone who is not practicing this program of spiritual mind training. But I am certain that my son sends me messages in my thoughts that resonate with me as if I was hearing his voice.

Most important, I trust he, like Holy Spirit, has my best interests at heart. The “voice” is playful and usually brief. The personality in it is distinctly like Kevin’s except it never seems to take anything seriously. He seems to laugh at me a lot as if he were shaking his head at me in amused disbelief. It is almost as if he were saying, “Hey Dad, you might want to think about this and choose differently.” I can feel the laughter in his voice. It is a signal for me to pause and step back a moment. It is a gentle invitation to let inspiration in to guide me.

I find it very comforting to know that Kevin’s story was in truth just an illusion. The love we shared and continue to extend to each other since his transition is palpable. Because I have learned that only the love is real in any situation or circumstance, I have received much love from so many. I know this outpouring of love I feel comes from my choice to see it. These days I feel like I am being carried through life’s difficulties by my Higher Power. It brings with it a feeling of peace and confidence.

Spirit guided me in a process of forgiveness both before and after Kevin passed. The fear that gripped me often then has now disappeared. I regret the times that I used anger, guilt, and shame to try and change his drug habit. And sometimes I followed the advice of Spirit to just love him anyway. Those times when I got it right are especially meaningful to me now.

I have forgiven myself for my fear-based thoughts and actions. I have been able to let go of the nightmare of Kevin’s addiction. I have forgiven Kevin and those associated with the nightmare. And I am heartened by the ACIM concept that it never really happened. It was a dream — a play — a video — not real at all. This type of forgiveness — forgiving what never really happened — is the cause of my healing. I could not have healed as quickly or completely any other way. “Forgiveness is not real unless it brings a healing to your brother and yourself.” (T-27.II.4:1) I am still working on this with all my brothers.

I think back to my question, “What is it that I desire to teach?” I feel like I am being guided to teach that great strength comes from connecting to my Inner Guide. I trust that I can be a demonstration of how well forgiveness works. My conviction that only the Love matters is the message that I choose to teach.

We are all teaching — all the time. I am choosing to hold Spirit’s hand and I am grateful for His strength.

Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2014

Don’t Complain — Reclaim

by Rev. Linda Wisniewski, O.M.C.

Isn’t it ironic that, in an instant of time, a thought came into our mind to make a world separate from our Creator; a world where we wanted a separate identity; a world where we could feel special. Now doesn’t that sound like a teenager in rebellion against his parents?

And guess what, we got what we asked for, but did we really?

We made a body where we can hide from our Creator and then all we do is complain about the body we made: It’s too short. It’s too tall. It’s too skinny. It’s too fat. It’s too frail. It’s in too much pain… complain, complain. So here we are, complaining about what we made.

And then we complain about where this body lives. If you live in the Midwest — It’s too cold and snowy. If you live in the Northeast — It’s too rainy. If you live in the South West — It’s too hot and why doesn’t it rain? …complain, complain, complain.

We left our home in God because we craved for specialness, but then we complain: Why does my spouse not appreciate me? Why does he/she act so insane? …complain, complain, complain.

Why do my friends attack me? Why do they ignore me? Why don’t they ever call me? …Complain, complain, complain.

We made a world because we wanted to feel valued for what we do, but then we complain about the drudgery or meaninglessness of our work. Our bosses don’t respect us. Our bosses don’t promote or protect us. So we spend more of the day complaining.

We say we want to live happily ever after but then we worry about death and spend millions of dollars to ward off death. And guess what — only in the Real World is there happily ever after.

So how great can the world we made as a substitution for our home in God be, if we continually complain and hold grievances against it and everyone in the world.

Lesson 155 in the workbook of ACIM says: Love Holds No Grievances.

So what would a world look like if we were to refrain from complaining. What does the Real World look like, our true Home? When I step back from complaining, when I step into stillness, I experience a deep peace, innocence and joy. ACIM says this is Heaven. There are no grievances; only the I AM.

Holy Spirit truly works with us when we forget where we came from, the Real World. Holy Spirit will transform our complaints into seeing the truth and help us remember our wholeness; our Oneness; our Innocence; our Purity.

Holy Spirit showed me a 3-step process to work with when I am tempted by complaints; ACIM would say this is the process of Forgiveness.

1. When the temptation to complain is strong, step back and Refrain.

2. Ask the Holy Spirit to Reframe: Holy Spirit, help me see this differently.

3. Reclaim the Truth: I am not a victim of the world I made. I AM the Holy Spirit of Love.

And one more step was revealed to me.

I express gratitude for the gift of the miracle received by Holy Spirit; Love holds no grievances and I am Love.

Rev. Linda Wisniewski is a Pathways of Light minister living in Plymouth, Wisconsin.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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