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April-June, 2014

All Are Called

Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan, O.M.C.

Holy Spirit, my Inner Teacher, Helper, Comforter, I look to you for help with writing this article for the Pathways of Light Miracles News. Much has transpired in this still short year.

The following are timeless experiences in time, clearly connected, one opening into the one that follows. The sequence began in a pause: Jesus’ presence at my side, telling me “Accept the Atonement for yourself.” > I begin practicing being present to Presence during my daily activities >

Days later feeling out of sorts, I hear “Find Mary” > turning inward I am aware of this Stable Presence > there is a clarity of my moment-to-moment choice for unawareness or Awareness > in choosing Awareness, Awareness is witness, showing the ego as a tiny bubble of pain and suffering, housing ego stories > in seeing this bubble I see it is not reality, not who I am, not who anyone is > something new is rising up on the inside and I hear, this is “true compassion” > true compassion releases my judgments >

During a Sunday morning Pathways ACIM teleconference we are reading about Innocence; I experience true compassion and see compassion is Innocence looking upon the ego bubble > In this we are all absolved from guilt > my “double vision,” seeing “two” resolves in these moments > I experience healing > We all rest in Innocence. All this given through Inner Wisdom is undoubtedly available to everyone. Shall I share about these experiences? What would be truly helpful now?

I want to hear from you Holy Spirit. You know my heart, you know my mind, you know my thoughts about the body and you are living inside of my life. I want to learn.

I also heard you thinking, “I want to teach.” You did not type it out – why?

I want to teach others how to truly open to connecting more deeply with the loving Teacher Within. I didn’t write it down because ego peaked up with a feeling of embarrassment. Telling me to hide. The teaching I am called to teach is the reality and absolute practicality of the Teacher Within, who teaches truth. The ego feels embarrassed by truth.

What is happening in “embarrassment”?

Some part of me is trying to hide this other part of me that she doesn’t want anyone to see. The hider thinks she is protecting the one she is hiding, who actually is my True Self. Meanwhile the hider, as the front person, comes out to mingle.

What does this hider think she is protecting the hidden one from?

Being seen.

What is the ego telling you will happen if you step back from the hider and let “this hidden you” be seen?

I feel free at the very thought! But ego tells me I am risking everything; risking protection.

In letting one’s SELF be seen no longer is one in need of hiding for protection. It is not who was being hidden, your True Self, who was ever in need of protection. It is the one doing the hiding.

When I let my SELF be seen, freedom flows, joy bounces all over the place. It’s glorious!

So what’s stopping you?

Unawareness telling me that I should be spouting out truths and sounding all wise and everything so that I will be looked at as a wise teacher; in this I will finally have achieved a sense of personal value. My ego wants to be the authority! But who I am experiencing as SELF, is not at all drawn to appearing wise and being put up on a pedestal. I am letting the ego stop my SELF from being in the service of Spirit in helping others access their Inner Wisdom, with God as the authority.

Resting here now, trusting you — this is the experience I am called to call others to, as nothing else compares. Walking today, looking back over my life — all the education, trainings, jobs, career, interests — I eventually became bored with everything the world had to offer. In The Mentor Within, “The Holocaust Vision” the man had “lost his taste for this world.” This has been my experience for years. Then I saw what I have never grown weary of or experienced boredom over – that is God, listening to you and my relationship with Jesus. Each moment I focus on this, I feel connected. This experience brings a sense of purpose and meaning and I become enthusiastic about helping others experience a higher purpose in the midst of everyday life. I may not always want to accept what the Inner Teacher teaches, but I have no doubt deep within that it is true.

So, what’s the problem? You don’t think it’s worthwhile to share this with others?

Oh, I think it is worthwhile, but it seems few truly want to invest their lives this way. A Course In Miracles says, “All are called but few choose to listen.” (T-3.IV.7:12) There is much talk about the Inner Teacher. Yet, I observe so many who are more interested in finding an outer teacher or making up an inner teacher. It is not that “outer” teachers cannot serve a helpful purpose, for surely they can — for that matter we are all teachers, all students.

Tell me about accepting the Atonement. What is it doing to you on the inside?

I am experiencing a moment-to-moment unfolding awareness of this Stable Presence extending innocence — true compassion in which everyone is absolved of all guilt and judgment falls away. In this, I am finding “Mary” my True Self. I am not in this experience permanently, but now the choice for Awareness is so close in sight, I see it is the only true choice. I choose Awareness more frequently now, but not consistently.

What is Awareness doing for you?

Bringing rest, healing and discernment. Awareness taught this on discernment:

Discernment is not yours to figure out. The irony is that in your willingness to choose Awareness over unawareness, Awareness will discern for you. This Vast View does the discerning within you. Awareness communicates with you through your heart and mind. It is through This Knowing that you will know, in your willingness to lay your self at the feet of this Knowing. To put faith in your own power of discernment is limiting — it may get you some temporary answers to some temporary problems,  but you will not receive the Vast View. Unawareness does not have access to the Vast View. No matter how well read, well studied, well achieved, well spoken or “spiritual” …Awareness is out of sight to unawareness so how would unawareness detect Awareness.

And what is that doing in you?

I experience who I am differently. I know this ego Mary. She is a good person, a good daughter, responsible, hard working, contributes to the wellbeing of others, well educated, myriad life accomplishments, etc. All this and she still feels “not enough.” I know this Mary well.

As I practice pausing for Inspiration in the midst of everyday life, I come into Awareness and I am coming to know “Another Mary.” This Mary is an inner rest being present. She is not whom hardly anyone has ever wanted me to be. But she is who some part of me has always wanted to be. I am watching her and wondering.

Wondering what?

Will I let her be seen.

You are doing that now. What is this like letting your SELF be seen?

Quiet inside; A Strong Quiet. Quiet outside. A Stable, Present, Inner Focus. The Ground for meaning and purpose.

If your Inner Teacher is revealing all this to you, how much more do you think will be revealed to the few who are willing to listen? These few are your teachers as it is in your teaching them to listen that they are teaching you to listen. If these few can do this for you, certainly you can do this for them. As for all those still gripped by unwillingness to turn around and come face to face with their Inner Teacher, what is your plan for them?

Will you let your judgment of them stop you in your True Self tracks?

I will turn that question back on you.

There is your answer. Your having all this experience at your disposal and still are not fully willing in your mind to follow your Inner Teacher all of the time, how much more do you expect those who have not these experiences, to choose such.

Remember your sleeping dream 22 years ago when you saw the face of Christ looking back at you as you knelt at the water’s edge peering into the depths? The light coming off Christ’s face was so brilliant it blinded you and you had to turn away. So too will I blind you. I will blind you so you can see.

Synchronicity strikes. As I just typed about seeing, I look up and John and I see the most amazing spontaneous fireworks display igniting outside our large 11th story picture window!

I told you I love you. Teach the few, teach anyone choosing to listen. Teach because you really want to learn.

Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Louis, MO. Websites: http://www.pauseforinspiration.org www.thementorwithin.com

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2014

True Healing Is a Change of Mind

by Rev. Gail Hamley, O.M.C.

The world you see but shows you how much joy you have allowed yourself to see in you, and to accept as yours. And, if this is its meaning, then the power to give it joy must lie within you. (T-21.Intro. 2:7-8)

This quote is particularly interesting to me because I notice how one moment I can be in the throws of judgment and the next I can be laughing and full of joy or vice versa and nothing has changed except my perception! Certainly an extraterrestial being looking into my mind would declare me insane. Yet this is how I (and all of us) live our lives, moment by moment. To bring this home a bit, I will share a recent experience. Truly, God works in miraculous ways and uses everything for our healing!

January is my birthday month and I was gifted with many opportunities to go out to dinner and celebrate. To my surprise, many of my men friends from years ago returned to visit over dinner in honor of my birthday. Dinner after dinner after dinner, I was celebrated. After the flurry of activity, I went into a deep depression. Wow, so unexpected. Was I having too much fun? But in this darkness I began to judge and find fault with them and with myself. They were too critical, too self-absorbed, too this or too that. Then one night I had a dream. In the dream were two men. Each man held all of the characteristics I had attributed to the men in my ‘waking’ life. In the middle was me. Without going into all the details of this extraordinary dream, I began to understand that the men in my dream were me. (Carl Jung would be proud). All the characteristics I had attributed to them were aspects of myself.

The dream was so deep and meaningful that I could not forget it. This experience caused me to recall Jesus’ words about our sleeping dream and waking dream being the same. I saw how I was judging the dear men who had come back into my life and that their true gift to me was to heal me. This was the crux of the entire scenario: My entire life I had the opinion that I needed to heal my relationships with men. After three painful marriages and a number of unsuccessful dating experiences, I believed that the men I chose in relationship were unhealthy and unsafe. I gave up. Healing was not going to happen in this lifetime.

I had forgotten to ask myself what healing meant to me. That may have been the first step in true healing, for it is always a change of perception, a change of mind. But, I continued to blame others instead. However, in a flash of insight, I Realized that this healing had to take place within me! Duh! How long had I been studying ACIM?? As long as I perceived that there was something wrong with them (which is what I had been doing to protect myself from love), then my perception would always be cloudy with fear.

The veil dropped. Only love is Real. I recalled all of the wonderful things the men in my life have done for me — all of the small considerations like opening the door for me, or fixing a broken towel rod, or painting a white room red. I remembered their hand on my back, their hand reaching for mine, and their voice as they read to me when I was sick, the movies that made us laugh, the walks… so many beautiful memories.

Perhaps they were not to stay in my life any longer than they did. I had labeled them toxic in some instances. Now I have a deeper understanding of them and of myself. The only toxicity is of a judging mind that thinks it must protect. The next part of Chapter 21 is called “The Forgotten Song” and I am grateful that the rhythm of joy and gratitude have been recalled within me. The Song of Love is always there and never really forgotten.

Rev. Gail Hamley is a Pathways of Light minister living in Tustin, California.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2014

Love Never Gets Empty

Rev. Gail Tola, O.M.C.

Recently my daughter-in-law’s mother passed away. For her six year old granddaughter, I thought it would be very confusing. Her illness lasted about four weeks before her death. Quite a short time for the adults in the family to come to grips with her loss.

At her mother’s birthday party a couple of weeks later, Ellie (granddaughter) went around to all the adults with a heart shaped can her Grandma Barb had given her. She asked me if I wanted to see inside. I said, “Sure.” The can appeared to be empty. Ellie said, “Can you feel her and see her in Spirit? Her love fills this can.”

I said, “Oh you better close it so it doesn’t get away.” She said, “No, it never gets empty. There is always more.”

She went around and showed all the adults and the children. Some adults were not too attentive and some cried, but all the children (ages 4-6) got all excited.

I myself had forgotten there is never a shortage of love. We just need to connect more to feel it. As adults we may spend more time in our heads and need to spend more time moving our thoughts and feeling down into our hearts.

I thought it was a wonderful thing for her to do. You could see she was nervous about telling everyone, but she did it because she thought it needed to be told. I was prompted to write her a letter of thanks for sharing her feelings and her heart can full of her Grandmother’s love. I was just so proud of her that I wanted to share.

Rev. Tola is a Pathways of Light minister living in Wixom, Michigan.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2014

Let the Past Go or Hold On to It?

by Rev. Mary Wongwai, O.M.C.

This movie awards season has brought together two coincidently similar yet contrasting movies. Both are true stories, both have major events happening in the middle of last century, both involve travel between the UK and America, and both feature women and the traumatic life events they have experienced as young people. And yet, even with all these similarities they offer two clear examples of the effects of forgiving the past or not forgiving the past.

In the movie “Saving Mr. Banks” the main character is P. L. Travers the Author of Mary Poppins. Mrs. Travers has an opportunity to work with Walt Disney on making her children’s book into a motion picture. In the telling of her story we are shown flashbacks of her childhood revolving mostly about her father. He was a fun and empowering father and also at times a moody unreliable father. Her father was both a very good father and an inadequate father. In addition, her father died when she was young. One can imagine the deep emotional abandonment she experienced during her formative years.

The movie “Philomena,” her story is no less tragic. She had keep the secret of having had a child when she was a teenager. With help of a reporter, she sets out on the search for this first born child 50 years after his birth. This movie also uses flash backs in the telling of her childhood. We see her enter the convent as a pregnant, naive, very young woman. She has been left at the convent by her only remaining parent, her father. He had not told her about sex and how women get pregnant and now he has dropped her off and disowned her for becoming pregnant. We see how the young mothers at this convent became indentured servants and their children are put up for adoption. One can imagine the feelings of deep emotional abandonment she too has experienced.

Undoubtedly, both of these women have a past that could create a lifetime wound.

In the adult depiction of Mrs. Travers, sadly, she seems to be stuck in an angry state of mind. Mrs. Travers is working at Disney, immersed in what is arguably a lifetime opportunity instead she is resistant and begrudgingly involved. Her behavior is defended and self-righteous and frankly she seems to loath everyone she encounters. She is not able to be at peace. It seems that she has very few moments of joy.

In contrast the adult Philomena does not seem to be carrying resentment about her early life experiences. She is on a difficult search for her long lost child and she remains open to people along the way. We see her enjoying experiences, being thankful for simple pleasures and we see her forgiving. She is embarking on an emotionally difficult journey and she is able to access peace and she is open to joy.

These two examples can clearly show us how we have a choice. We can hold on to our view of being a victim or we can make another choice. We can be angry or we can choose peace. I know that we teach what we most need to learn, so I am talking to myself here too.

In ACIM it says, To be born again is to let the past go, and look without condemnation upon the present. (T-13.VI.3:5) It can seem important to hold onto hurtful memories of the past as if it offers some defense. If it offers any defense at all, it offers a blanket defense that keeps you from experiencing the now with fresh new eyes. Holding on is not a pathway to peace. This quote form ACIM simply says, “let the past go.” I can do that. Instead, I choose peace, I choose love, I choose joy.

Rev. Mary Wongwai, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Pflugerville, Texas.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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