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July-September, 2013

Reboot!

by Rev. Barbara Goodman Siegel, O.M.C.

The other day, I turned my computer on and got a blank screen. My husband was gone and not being at all technical, I was at a loss as to what to do. I tried pushing the start button again and a message appeared on the screen asking if I wanted to run a “Trouble shooting” program. Not knowing where the program came from and being afraid of hackers, I thought I better not. I thought I pushed the cancel option, but the program started to run anyway. I pushed “Cancel” again and another message came up that said: “You can’t cancel this program once it has started.” As the program ran, a line kept moving across the screen and a note above it said: “This may take several minutes. It will not erase any personal files.” I must admit that the running of this program was causing me some anxiety, but I couldn’t see any way of stopping it.

About 20 minutes later, the program stopped and a message appeared that said: “This program could not fix the problem, will need to take it to a technician.” Then a window came up that gave me two options: “reboot or cancel”. I hit reboot. Then the message in the window said: “Are you sure you want to reboot?” I figured I couldn’t mess it up more than it was already messed up, so I pushed “Yes” and prayed: “Please let this fix it.” I watched as the normal icons came up on the screen, then it went to the same dark screen I had when the computer seemed broken. I just kept looking at the screen and praying. All of a sudden, things started happening and Internet came up. Everything was all right. I truly felt I had witnessed a miracle!

As I thought about what happened with the computer, I realized that it was a perfect allegory for life. A problem comes up, we feel overwhelmed, and we push what we think is the trouble shooting button, the button we call “mind.” Our programed responses start to run and the mind goes through all the solutions it can think of. Some anxiety occurs while it is running, but once started, we don’t seem to make the choice to turn the program off even though, unlike the computer program, we do have the power to cancel the “mind” program. When the mind is done running its program (which may even involve trying to implement some of its solutions) it (often) says: “I don’t know how to fix this, take it to a Higher Power.” 

Now we earnestly turn the problem over. We have thought of every solution our mind can give us and we have gotten nowhere. In desperation, we sit in prayer, quieting our mind and allowing Higher Power to take over. In other words, we “Reboot” and, in this place of surrender, a miracle happens. It may come as an unexpected phone call, a thought to do something we hadn’t thought of before, etc. Miracles come in many different packages. The trick, as I see it, is not to try to define how the miracle should show up, but to be awake enough to recognize it when it comes.

So what is most important here? I think it is to “Reboot” sooner! We don’t need to run the entire “mind” program first – the program that has us running with anxiety in non-productive circles. Instead, turn it over to Higher Power immediately. Higher Power certainly has much better “programs” then we do! And, after turning it over in prayer and in trust, listen and watch for the solution.

Computer Hope.com (yes, it is a real website) says: “Rebooting is sometimes necessary to recover from an error.” OK, I really can’t say it better than that.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this copyright notice and website address are included.

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July-September, 2013

All Is Well

by Rev. Cathy Wright, O.M.C.

The gates of the cemetery were just ahead. I could already feel the anxiety creeping over me. “Mom,” I said to myself, “this is not going to be easy.”

Soon the line of cars parked near my dad’s grave came into view. I could feel my heart beating more quickly than usual.

“This is not where I want to be,” I mumbled to myself as I got out of the car and wandered toward the grave site.

A group of mom’s friends, cultivated over the years, were huddled in small bunches chatting in low somber tones. My eyes soon fixed on my dad’s partially opened grave. On top of his casket and wooden box rested the small urn, enveloped in a velvet bag. My thoughts, more than once, flashed by as, “My mom has been diminished to this little box within a bag.”

It was almost too much to visualize. I glanced off into the distance in order to regain composure. Then, as if by cue, the Universe provided calmness in the storm. I pictured in my mind’s eye, a framed embroidery work which read, “Peace and Joy.” It created a “safe spot” where I could go whenever the pressure of the occasion threatened to overtake me.

As the urn was placed into the ground and flowers were placed on top of the site, she realized “Peace and Joy” were not just words — they were aspects of life available to us all.

As usually happens in like situations the sadness and pain of mom’s death was slow to heal. When asked how I was coping I replied, “A book titled, A Course in Miracles has a passage which says, When your body and your ego and your dreams are gone, you will know that you will last forever. Perhaps you think this is accomplished through death, but nothing is accomplished through death, because death is nothing. Everything is accomplished through life, and life is of the mind and in the mind. The body neither lives nor dies, because it cannot contain you who are life.” (T-6.V.A.1:1-4)

“That,” I quietly affirmed, “is what I know for sure and that is sufficient for me.”

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July-September, 2013

Anxiety’s Crafty Compadre

by Rev. Andrea Sassa, O.M.C.

In the last Miracles News issue, April-June, 2013, I shared how Spirit guided me from living in days driven by task-lists to being in days guided by Spirit’s creative flow. In Spirit’s flow, my ego’s driving anxiety to maintain and complete those lists was gone, or so I thought. After surrendering “lists” to Spirit, that ego-mind of mine revealed just how crafty it is at trying to keep anxiety in my life.

I live in the mountains outside the city of Santa Fe in New Mexico. I regularly hike with my dog Bella on the lovely trails around our home. On these hikes, I started paying mindful attention to my thoughts. I observed my mind spending a little time noticing nature’s magnificence in the trees, rocks, and sky or feeling the wind or sunshine on my skin, maybe savoring the sweet smell of pinon and juniper berries. But, what I observed most often was my mind going into thought-loops that brought anxiety right back into my days.

My crafty ego-mind entered a thought-loop by focusing on a situation that it perceived created conflict with another person or with myself. There was the unhappy neighbor because Bella chased his car on our rural roads. My step-daughter who was ignoring me because I set boundaries requiring her to be responsible for her behavior. My crankiness with myself because I was not making time to turn my creative ideas into short stories.

I watched my ego-mind strategize how to defend itself in each situation. It planned and rehearsed what I would say if “he” said this or “she” said that or if “I” would just do this. Instead of refreshing myself on the hikes, I fatigued myself. I held the door wide open to the anxiety I thought I relinquished and said, “Please, hurry, come right back on in!”

Spirit tells us in A Course in Miracles that, “Problems are not specific but they take specific forms, and these specific shapes make up the world. And no one understands the nature of [her] problem. If [she] did, it would be there no more for [her] to see. Its very nature is that it is not.” (T-27.V.8.1-4) (Emphasis in original) (Italics added) “Now you are being shown that you can escape. All that is needed is you look upon the problem as it is, and not the way that you have set it up.” (T-27.VII.2.1-2 Emphasis in original, Italics added) 

Spirit led me to shifting my perception of these perceived conflicts by showing me, yet again!, how craftily my ego-mind was imposing separation on the world and denying the unalterable truth of Oneness — my Oneness with my sisters and brothers and my Oneness with Spirit. My perception that conflict existed with the neighbor, my step-daughter, or with myself arose when I decided I needed to defend against “attacks.” I rose to defend only because I decided “attacks” even existed. I created at-War-ment in each situation which inevitably ushered anxiety right back into my days.

With Spirit’s grace-filled guidance, I softly returned to Peace by remembering, “There is nothing you could attack that is not part of you. And by attacking it you make two illusions of yourself, in conflict with each other. And this occurs whenever you look upon anything that God created with anything but love.” (T-23.I.8.1-5 Italics added) For, “llusion meets illusion; truth, itself. The meeting of illusions leads to war. Peace, looking on itself, extends itself. … Where one abides the other cannot be; where either goes the other disappears. For …far beyond [any] senseless war [Spirit’s Oneness] shines, ready to be remembered when you side with peace.” (T-23.I.12 Italics added)

Whether the “problem” appeared to be a supposed conflict with another person or a never ending task-list, the effect was the same — I was consumed in anxiety and separated from the unalterable Peace of Oneness. Thankfully, I am learning not to be harsh with my ego-mind when I discover it at work; that would only reinforce it. Instead, I love it, bless it, and thank it. Because through a curious mystery that I cannot claim to understand, by gently observing and then blessing my ego’s insanity I get closer to knowing Spirit — the living God that I am — and rest more often in Peace.