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July-September, 2012

Defeated by A Course in Miracles

by Rev. Ken Gorman, O.M.C.

My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world. (W-pI.11)

This is one of the most important aspects of ACIM training yet one of the most difficult to accept, especially for ego that builds our image as individual life forms, separate from everything else with an entire universe constructed of and by thoughts. This concept is found in many other traditions such as Ramana Maharshi who said… “the degree of the absence of thoughts is your measure of progress on the spiritual path.” It has been said that Krishna Murti teachings can be summarized in two words… “Don’t Think,” despite producing reams of material on spirituality. Even the Buddhist canon could fill several libraries. This is also similar to the ACIM material many of us have studied for years which consists of words and more words, pages and more pages of text… why?

I was listening to Eckhart Tolle, who gave a great explanation of this in speaking about ACIM. He said, “It meets us where we are in the noise and then takes us by the hand out of the noise.” He also goes on to say that a good explanation of the experience of emptiness, enlightenment, realizing our true nature, unlimited spaciousness… whatever you want to call it is “Thoughtless Awareness.”

For me there was a moment a couple years ago when I realized after studying ACIM for almost 20 years that the Text had well and truly defeated me. No matter how hard I studied, I could not seem to stuff all of the concepts into my mind. I would stumble on sections I thought I had ‘mastered’ a couple years earlier only to realize I had totally forgotten about it. Others that I was sure I understood, would take on a totally different meaning months later, leading me to realize the everything I thought I understood today was at risk of having a totally different meaning in months or years. And then the Workbook… I started doing that again by the days of the year and it was like I was starting over again each time with a new Workbook. I am convinced there are thousands of Lessons masquerading as 365, one for each day that we decide to do them for the rest of our lives.

Oh yea… and then there was my favorite ACIM quote, the one I like to constantly forget — “I do not understand what anything, including this, means.”

Fortunately, I think what all of the teachers above are trying to tell us is that the answer does not lie in our thoughts and our thinking mind, in fact that is the problem.  They are pointing to a reality that actually surrendering ‘thought’ and the insatiable desire to ‘understand with my mind’ (which is always based in an imagined past) is the gateway to remembering; that my awareness without thought is always waiting for me in the present moment, and connecting with it leads to peace. I also have a feeling that this is pretty close to what forgiveness is all about.

My ego will tell me that if I don’t pay attention to its stories, analysis, judgments, fears, plans, etc. that I will be lost, like a paper cup blowing on a lake. What I think ACIM may be trying to teach us is that when I let go of this and rest in this awareness, the Voice of the Holy Spirit now has space and can fill in all the gaps I think I might experience with what things really mean… maybe this is Christ Vision?

On a practical level, I find (and am told) I cannot just stop thinking, but what I find I can do is gradually ‘de-value’ the thoughts that are passing through my mind and actually rest my awareness on the space in which they are arising. I like the passing clouds in the sky analogy. This takes continuous practice as my thinking mind is a giant flywheel made mostly of habit energy. I also think it takes continuous inspiration which I get through reading, study groups, fellowship and service.  But the good news is we are told we only need ‘Willingness’ and something in my mind (HS/Higher Self/Inner Guide/Power Greater than Myself/etc.) does the work for me. So now I am back to surrender, which makes a lot of sense as surrender is what normally happens after ‘defeat’ (also Step 1 of the 12 Steps) …a defeat I am very grateful for Jeshua engineering through many means and especially A Course in Miracles.

Rev. Ken Gorman, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in London, England.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July-September, 2012

Turn It Over

by Rev. Georgeann Medved, O.M.C.

My husband, Joe went for a routine cardiac stress test in late April. The results showed that he needed two stints and he was scheduled to go to Flint two days later for that procedure. That night I called neighbors and asked them to watch our house as we would be gone approximately five days. We traveled to Flint the next day and stayed in a hotel. He was told he would be able to drive three days after the procedure so he would be able to drive us home. That night we offered prayers for a successful procedure and turned our will and our lives over to the care of God.

The next day, during surgery I became weary. I had been having severe muscle spasms for a month and the hospital provided only hard chairs and benches to sit on. I laid down on a bench and prayed and fell asleep. I was awakened and summoned to the recovery room where Joe’s cardiologist explained to us that he would need double bypass surgery as one artery was completely blocked and the other 70%.

Two days later he was sent to the hospital for pre-surgical testing. His surgery was to be four days later on Tuesday. When he left, I prayed as we had much to do and not a lot of time.

The next morning we went home and dumped our dirty laundry and packed for a three week stay. We left again on Monday for his Tuesday surgery. Relatives and neighbors prayers and promises of help were with us.

Tuesday brought the peace of Christ for Joe as he was wheeled into surgery and the same horrible waiting room conditions for me. I spent his time in surgery praying for him, our family, friends, neighbors and hotel staff. I again turned my will and my life over to the care of God.

After four and a half hours he was safely out of surgery and I would be able to see him in two hours. Thank God! When taken to Joe’s room, I was told I could see him for 10 minutes, then leave. I was left in there for over an hour. I lightly touched his right shoulder several times and talked to him and prayed. He slept peacefully.

At 5:30 p.m. I returned to the hotel and reported to the manager then started phoning people to report that he was alright. At 9 p.m. I peacefully fell asleep in Holy Spirit’s arms and slept until 4 a.m.

Four weeks after the bypass surgery we are safely nestled in our home, thanks to very helpful hotel personnel, family, friends and neighbors who prayed for us, drove for us, brought us food, mowed our lawn and did other heavy work for us. They are true heroes and we love them. We ask God’s blessings on them in our daily prayers.

I am still working on the muscle spasms. Hopefully they will stop soon. Meanwhile, I am baking cookies for all of the neighbors who helped us and writing letters of gratitude to family and friends for their help. Joe is back to his routine of walking a mile a day and started cardiac rehabilitation.

God does work miracles! God does work in mysterious ways. Without Him we could not have done this.

Rev. Georgeann Medved is a Pathways of Light minister living in Columbiaville, Michigan

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July-September, 2012

The Purpose of My To Do List

by Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan, O.M.C.

Today I started feeling overwhelmed with my to do list and I asked for help. First, Holy Spirit revealed to me a bit about self-hatred and how the ego goes to great lengths to preserve self-hatred, for it keeps the ego in charge. I wrote a whole article on that experience!

Then Holy Spirit said, “Mary the ego tries to make life meaningful by giving you a to do list. Your activities today are not a to do list. They are your ministry. Don’t be in a rush to finish your to do list. Be with your to do list. It is an opportunity to do God’s work. That is its only purpose. It is like having a ‘street ministry.’ The disciples walked from town to town among the people, empowered by Holy Spirit so people could meet Holy Spirit. That is what all of your activities in the world are for — so people can meet Holy Spirit. Stop feeling like this daily stuff is getting in the way of your ministry; that you have to get it all done as soon as possible so you can get back to work. This is your work. It is your ministry! All of it!” Then I remembered awhile ago asking for help with all of this and Holy Spirit opened up to Lesson 353: “My eyes, my tongue, my hands, my feet today have but one purpose; to be given Christ to use to bless the world with miracles.”

When I opened up to that a couple of months ago, I felt I had been given my purpose. Thank you for being willing to step back and let Inspiration guide. It isn’t the popular path, but is the path that I can trust.

Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Louis, Missouri. She is author of the books Visions of Illumination, The Mentor Within and the inspiring new CD Album WNYHOO Now!. Web site: http://www.pauseforinspiration.org

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July-September, 2012

Divine Mother and Divine Father as Symbols for Transformation

by Rev. Dennis Gaither, M.D., O.M.C.

Symbols can be so helpful as bridges that can help us reach from the world of form we find ourselves in to the formlessness of our true Reality, but they can also become an obstacle when they become an end in themselves. Symbols can help us focus, help us quiet our inner chatter and remind us of the sacredness that is within us.

I have a meditation space in my bedroom; there is an altar there with a candle and picture of Jesus, one in which he looks out with very piercing eyes. There are times, especially when I am feeling some upset and needing to focus, that I find sitting before that image, meeting that gaze, to be very centering. Do I absolutely need this? No, certainly not. Is it helpful? Sometimes yes. Why is it helpful? I feel it reminds me of my intention to focus, come into presence, and deeply connect with the inner Teacher. Is there anything truly special about the picture, the altar, and the candle? Not really, but because of the intention with which I placed them there, they are helpful to me as bridges.

Recently after a very lively conversation about Divine Mother and Divine Father as both symbols and felt-sense presence, I asked for some guidance, some clarification, about the previous evening’s discussion. What follows is an offering based upon what I received in response.

Symbols always represent something beyond themselves — this is obvious. In using them it is important to always keep this in mind, as they can easily become idols that are “worshipped” in their own right. And yet the act of honoring what a symbol represents will reinforce that which is honored. Every symbol is filled with the meaning we give it, not less so if that meaning is given automatically based on past conditions or if in full consciousness of choice. The difference is that the less awareness there is about the nature of symbols, the more compulsory they will be in terms of the reactions they evoke.

All symbols carry dual meanings within this level of experience that we feel ourselves to be in now. It does not matter whether it is an object, a name, a word or grouping of words, or even an abstract idea. They are all icons for either the thought system of ego, of separation, or that of the Voice for Love. The symbol itself is within the ego’s framework, and initially will most readily point to that which maintains itself within that thought system. But every symbol can also be used for another purpose when our meaning for it is surrendered, and the Voice for Love is allowed to replace it with a new meaning. This is the process of forgiveness. Whenever we find a symbol to be disturbing or limiting, there is a gift of healing present as well. What disturbs is from within us. It takes great diligence and commitment to practice continually turning our own meanings over to that Inner Voice, but it is the most direct path that leads us beyond all symbols to our true Home in and of God.

Divine Father and Divine Mother are both symbols that may help or hinder. As symbols of male and female, they can reinforce the idea of separation along gender lines as that polarity forms the basis of our special relationships. We project upon them the fantasies and dreams of specialness, power, grandiosity and self-hatred that we carry within our own minds.

They can also be used by the Voice for Love to help us see and forgive our projections and thus heal our hidden self-hatred. As we begin to open our hearts to Love, either Divine Father or Divine Mother can be the portal through which we most readily allow in that experience. As we deepen along our Path, the polarity no longer serves us and the desire to seemingly turn from the one more familiar to the one less so for a time becomes a useful stepping-stone. We can use the love connection more readily appreciated with one to look at the resistance — which is always based in fear — we hold towards the other. Whatever the apparent form may be, it is a small gap of ego that is clung to out of fear of loss of self in the fathomless sea of God’s Love. It is the self afraid of Self. Its utter formlessness terrifies that which has become identified with form; yet as we begin to remember our True Nature, we cannot help but be drawn like a moth to that flame that will disintegrate all that we think we are.

If we allow ourselves to be guided through this process by Holy Spirit, what seems to be a violent disintegration by fire is but a gentle warming that allows us to shed layer upon layer of that which “protects” us from what we think is fearful, but is really what we most deeply desire. The path is not a rejection of anything that we or anyone else has made, but simply a turning toward that which we truly are and can never not be. Used in this way, the symbols we have made can become wonder-full devices that help us cross the obstacles we seem to encounter but that really we have made, and gently lay them aside when they no longer serve a purpose. And for that we are very grateful for the Divine Mother/Father for the help they lend us in opening our hearts to the Divine within us.

From A Course in Miracles:

We say “God is,” and then we cease to speak, for in that knowledge words are meaningless. There are no lips to speak them, and no part of mind sufficiently distinct to feel that it is now aware of something not itself. It has united with its Source. And like its Source Itself, it merely is. (W-pI.169.5:4-7)

Rev. Dennis Gaither, M.D., O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Mt. Vernon, Washington.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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