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April-June, 2012

Moving Our of the Darkness into the Light: It’s Called Awakening

by Rev. Linda Wisniewski, O.M.C.

I don’t know if you ever experience this, but after faithfully practicing ACIM lessons, giving my willingness to Holy Spirit to look at everything that didn’t bring me peace, I suddenly went into a deep funk. Call it disillusionment, despondency, crashing. It felt horrible, lonely, scarey and disorienting to say the least. I went into a panic. What if all that I am learning is not the truth? What if God isn’t real? What am I to do?

I’ve been so diligent in my practice and have been giving my willingness to Spirit, and look at me. What’s the use? Nothing seems to be working. Poor me. If I can’t trust Holy Spirit and I learned not to put my trust in the illusion, then what?

Well this is how I felt, but not for long. I thought that no matter what I am experiencing in the present, Holy Spirit has been my Guide. Why would I think Spirit would abandon me in this darkest of moments?

So I did the only thing I could and cried out, “Help me Spirit. I feel so lost, so alone, so confused, so unsettled.”

And I waited. What else could I do? Oh sure, I could find something to distract me. But I knew from past experience that would only delay the awakening process and probably end up sending me into a deeper funk.

Then I seemed to get an inner prompt to go to the section in the Manual for Teachers on Trust in the section titled, “What are the Characteristics of God’s Teachers?” So I did and lo and behold my eyes focused on the seventh stage of Trust in the Development of Trust on page 11 of the Manual for Teachers:

“…’A period of unsettling.’ Now must the teacher of God understand that he did not really know what was valuable and what was valueless. …Yet his own sorting out was meaningless in teaching him the difference. The idea of sacrifice, so central to his own thought system, had made it impossible for him to judge. He thought he learned willingness, but now he sees that he does not know what the willingness is for. And now he must attain a state that may remain impossible to reach for a long, long time. He must learn to lay all judgment aside, and ask only what he really wants in every circumstance.” (M-4.7:1-8)

Believe it or not, this was comforting for me and got me out of the funk. The development of trust section in the Manual seems like a blueprint for the awakening process — the stages of awakening from the dream. For the past few years I have been, with the help of Holy Spirit, sorting out the valueless from the valuable and have been relinquishing the valueless.

Did I really think I was done? Am I free of judgments and attachments to all that is not real? Not yet. I am still mindful of the judgments I have toward a brother and the attachment I have to holding onto this body. There is still much fear to the thought that I have to one day let this body go. And I have a choice; I could either fight it all the way and suffer or, I can also ask Holy Spirit to work with me on this, my greatest fear.

Again, I was comforted by Section 12, paragraph 5 in the Manual for Teachers titled,
“How many Teachers of God are needed to save the World?”

“The central lesson is always this; that what you use the body for it will become to you. Use it for sin or for attack, which is the same as sin, and you will see it as sinful. …Use it to bring the Word of God to those who have it not, and the body becomes holy. Because it is holy it cannot be sick, nor could it die. When its usefulness is done, it is laid by, and that is all. The mind makes this decision, as it makes all decisions that are responsible for the body’s condition. Yet the teacher of God does not make this decision alone. …God’s Voice will tell him when he has fulfilled his role, just as it tells him what his function is. He does not suffer either in going or remaining.”

Reading this was also so helpful and comforting in letting go of the attachment I have had to making the body my home. I see how I have used it for attack and how that made me sick. I see that I can use it for Holy Spirit’s purpose — to extend God’s Word into the world and serve in the awakening of the Sonship. What a holy function that is.

Because my only purpose is to awaken from the dream and return to my true Home, I can wait with patience and without anxiety because I am promised by Spirit that the outcome is certain. And the period of unsettling is only another stage in the awakening process before the period of achievement. This is cause for joy, not fear. Thank you, Holy Spirit.

So the next time I am in a funk, I will know not to panic; it’s only another period of unsettling which gives me another opportunity to give up what’s valueless and know that I am waking up.

Rev. Linda Wisniewski is a Pathways of Light minister living in Plymouth, Wisconsin.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2012

The Guilt and Forgiveness Things

by Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C.

I have had my share of trouble getting a grip on the “guilt” thing in A Course in Miracles. I am being clearly taught that:

• There is never a good reason to feel guilty.

• I feel guilty because I falsely believe I have separated from God.

• Only the ego believes in guilt; Holy Spirit knows I am totally innocent.

• I’m just dreaming that I’m guilty and, therefore, I need to awaken.

• I need to bring all my feelings of guilt, sin, and fear to Holy Spirit.

• Holy Spirit will remove my unconscious guilt from my mind.

• This brings about a happy dream and then ultimate awakening.

Oh, and there is the “forgiveness” thing that I have struggled with as well. I am taught:

— Forgiveness is the key to happiness.

— When I think I am forgiving another, I am really forgiving myself.

— What my body’s eyes see is a lie; so I forgive what never really happened.

— Any grievance that I do not forgive will result in my suffering.

So how can I apply these principles to my life? 

It has been two years since I lost my beloved son to a heroin overdose. We battled his addiction to opiates together for more than seven years. For most of that time I was in the grip of fear; I call it “the terror.”  Every ring of my phone held the potential of announcing a terrifying consequence for my son, Kevin. 

I turned to my Higher Power continuously for help. His constant message to me was to “just love him anyway.” I was not to judge or condemn him for his behavior. I was directed to love and forgive him.

Despite his many efforts at recovery, one night the dreaded phone call came. Kevin was gone at the age of 27. Among those he left behind was his four-month old daughter, Olivia. It was a tragic ending for the one time all American boy.

During the long cycles of addiction, recovery, and relapse, I followed a process of turning to Divine Guidance — my Higher Power — Holy Spirit — for advice. I wrote in my journal to ask Him specific questions about how to handle Kevin and his disease of addiction. Spirit’s answers to me were consistent. I was told that I have no idea what Kevin needed to go through. I was to demonstrate unconditional love. Nevertheless, I was inconsistent in following His directions. I often responded out of fear — using anger, guilt, and shame to try to get him to change. Those times I regret.

I have used this experience to better understand the Course’s teachings about guilt and forgiveness. I believe what ACIM teaches: Only the love is real in this world; all else is an illusion made of thoughts from my unconscious guilt. The story about the “terror” I experienced was never real.

I am practicing forgiveness of myself, forgiveness of Kevin, and of all those connected to the story. This practice is strengthening me spiritually and emotionally. I am learning to keep all the love and to forgive all the rest. 

My Higher Power sustains me and gives me encouragement to help others through His guidance. Sometimes this guidance comes through to me in Kevin’s voice.  Those times bring a smile to my face and a warm rush to my heart. 

I believe I am stronger than ever before. I credit my belief in these principles and Holy Spirit’s guidance for this. The “guilt” and “forgiveness” things about ACIM are coming in stronger now. I can feel an inner peace with Kevin. And I am grateful.

Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York.
You can purchase Rev. Larry Glenz’s book or audio book, “Forgiving Kevin: A Son’s Addiction Becomes a Father’s Greatest Teacher” at the Pathways website store.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2012

Be Silent. Be Still

by Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C.

There is a devotional song I like, called Tapping by Rickie Beckwith. In part it says:

You are tapping on my heart. Tell me what is the plan. Tell me how to heal my mind. Tell me how to walk this land.

These words resonate deeply with me because I am aware of that tapping all the time. Holy Spirit is tapping in my Heart, tapping on my shoulder, on my head. He gently taps to get my attention. Sometimes I acknowledge His taps, sometimes not, but always the tapping is there. My desire for His Guidance grows stronger and stronger as I practice listening.

Tap tap… Wake up! Tap tap… Say this. Tap tap… Go here. Tap tap… Do that. Tap tap… Are you tired of the chatter in your mind? Listen to me. Tap tap… Read this book. Tap tap… Watch this video. Really? Okay. Tap tap… You feel sad. You must be listening to the ego. Tap tap… You are loved. Tap tap… You are never alone. Tap tap… You belong to God.

When Regina Dawn Akers got back from her pilgrimage to India to visit Ramana Maharishi’s ashram with the message that she is to spend a year in silence, I felt the Holy Spirit taping on my heart. Tap tap… This for you, too. I’ve been following in Regina’s steps for years now, so I wasn’t surprised that my Heart answered her desire for silence, but I was uncertain that I could do this.

I have a very full time job that calls for a lot of verbal communication. I facilitate ministerial courses, teach, counsel, perform weddings, mentor students of the Course. I didn’t see how I could spend a year in silence. And yet… there was that tapping.

So instead of saying no, I asked how. How would You have me do this? The Holy Spirit helped me to see that this, like everything we do together, is not about what I do, but how I do it.

I began by looking with the Holy Spirit at my obligations one at a time to see if there was anything I should drop. I also remain open to guidance in the moment about my schedule. I recognize a tendency in myself to use “worthwhile” activity, even spiritual activity as a distraction from what I am guided to do.

Since I was on vacation this week between Christmas and New Years, I thought it would be an excellent time to practice silence and get a feel for what this coming year will be like. I didn’t have guidance to drop anything in my schedule, so I didn’t see how I was going to fit silence into it, but I figured Holy Spirit had a plan and I was excited to see it unfold.

Holy Spirit gently led me to ways this will work for me. I would be writing and would feel that familiar tapping. Be still now. And I would stop what I was doing and sit in silence for a bit, maybe no longer than a couple of minutes. It was a good two minutes, though. It was like turning off my iPhone for a minute or so. When I turn it back on, the glitches are gone and it runs faster and better. I turn myself off for a brief time and when I return to my work, I am refreshed and working more efficiently and absolutely more peacefully.

While I was washing dishes, I was deciding what to do next and allowing the ego to be entertained with stories from the past. Tap tap… Be quiet. Oh! He wants me to practice silence in my mind as well. Good one, Holy Spirit! I need this practice anyway, as I’ve been working on letting go of the thinking mind and obviously I have more work to do on this.

I was driving to the store and listening to a CD. When it ended, I reached for the next one and felt that tapping again. Silence now.

I was listening to my friend talk and felt the tap. What? Holy Spirit showed me that my friend’s voice was not the only one in my head. In fact, now that He called it to my attention, I realized it sounded like a whole convention was taking place there. I was listening the wee voice that was preparing my response to her words. I was listening to the voice that was reporting back on the level of my physical comfort. It is too hot in here, the chair too hard.

There was a voice that was commenting on her new haircut. Another was reviewing our past visits. I was listening to the voice that was making out my shopping list, for heaven’s sake. So Holy Spirit was asking me to be silent as I listened. When I did that, I was surprised at how silent my mind was with only the one voice speaking.

I was listening to a student, and when I started to respond, I felt a tap. Be quiet and listen. So I did. And before I tried to respond again, I asked for both timing and words. I am to be quiet even when I speak, it seems. Fewer words, and only His words.

When I fixed my breakfast yesterday, I was trying to decide whether I would read or check my email while I ate. I’m big on multi-tasking. I felt the familiar tapping. Just eat. Eat in silence.

I am amazed at the number of ways I have used business and distractions to avoid silence. This morning I went through my usual ritual: Get coffee, turn on computer, read lesson, journal, post. Tap tap… Be still. Be silent. And I remembered that silence is not just something else I am to do this year, rather it is the defining element. I think Holy Spirit is asking me to begin and end my day with silence. I am to make silence my priority, to have dedicated time for silence as well as learning how to be silent in my activities, my words, and my listening.

In Workbook Lesson 221 we learn: Peace to my mind. Let all my thoughts be still.

Father, I come to You today to seek the peace that You alone can give. I come in silence. In the quiet of my heart, the deep recesses of my mind, I wait and listen for Your Voice. My Father, speak to me today. I come to hear Your Voice in silence and in certainty and love, sure You will hear my call and answer me.

Now do we wait in quiet. God is here, because we wait together. I am sure that He will speak to you, and you will hear. Accept my confidence, for it is yours. Our minds are joined. We wait with one intent; to hear our Father’s answer. (W-pII.221)

Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Charles, Louisiana. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways website. Myron’s website is:
http://www.forgivenessisthewayhome.org

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2012

I See

by Rev. Sherry Jonckheere, O.M.C.

It has been clearly and methodically proven to me over the years that everything I see is a total creation of my mind. I have a world inside my head that I can choose to see as my truth, and be a slave to its whims and crazy circumstances or I can see the truth as shown me through ACIM. My study of quantum theory and other sciences, as well as energy methodologies have given me the understanding of the concept that there is nothing out there. ACIM has taken these studies to another level by offering further explanation about the nothingness that lies beyond energy.

I took a day recently to sit with and study Lesson 132 from the Course again, as it challenges my beliefs in this world of form and brings to mind the truth of what I am seeing and all that I have created. The idea that, “I loose the world from all I thought it was” allowed me to practice really freeing myself from the chains of this world. It offered me the opportunity to look again at the hologram I have created.

As I sat with the idea and felt myself squarely in the moment, I could see the edges of what I had made. Having an understanding of this mad idea, with the time to work and ponder its intricate illusion, I am now more keenly aware of the flimsiness of what I think I see. I feel that as I back away from my dream of this world and move toward what is real, I have the feeling of having one foot in the dream and one foot in reality. The dream we look upon each day is often likened to a play being acted out on stage that allows us to see our dream from an observer perspective.

The vision I had while working with this lesson was a picture of myself peeking out through a curtain, watching a dream play out. Behind the curtain, which is where I want to go, is where truth lies and so I love this perspective. Although there are still areas where I am still connected to the dream, I am more and more aware of the illusion that is happening right in front of me.

In a previous Course lesson I went into meditation with the idea for the day, and what was coming up seemed blurry to me. I have always had great eyesight, but for the past couple of years I have found that there are times when I have trouble seeing things as clearly as I once did. These times come and go and usually get worse during times of stress or hormonal imbalance. So, although it is frustrating at times, I have a pair of light reading glasses that help me and I just accept.

Many times a thought has come to me that, as I do the work to loosen the grip of the world, I see that my body’s eyes are less clear in what they are seeing because there is nothing here to see. Real vision has nothing to do with the body’s eyes. And so, in yesterday’s blurry meditation (and for a moment I was frustrated that everything seemed unclear even there) I heard that my inner vision is adjusting to see clearly while my outer sight is becoming more and more out of focus to symbolize the inner clarity and understanding of what is real vs. what is an illusion.

I would like to move towards clarity in both worlds as I grow in my understanding, but appreciate the symbolic nature of what is happening. I love the visions and thoughts that I receive that show me where I stand right now as I continue to trust and have faith in the knowledge and understanding of what lies beyond the dream that I have made, and the energy that makes up everything that I think I see. I get it. Thank you.

Louise Hay writes that eyes “represent the capacity to see clearly — past, present and future.” Her corresponding affirmation is: “I see with love and joy.” She goes on to say that eye problems are “not liking what you see in your own life,” and offers a beautiful affirmation, “I now create a life I love to look at.”

One of the challenges I find as I do this work is functioning in the dream as life’s seeming little glitches arise. I keep Louise’ book, Heal Your Body close by and refer to her mastery when I need to reboot or tweak my thinking about something that may be going awry in my body.

So as much work as I am doing in loosening the grip of this world I think I see, I am clearly still dreaming and so I take care to stay healthy and understand all of the strange and wonderful happenings taking place in and around me. What fun!

“Yet if you are as God created you, you cannot think apart from Him, nor make what does not share His timelessness and Love. Are these inherent in the world you see? Does it create like Him? Unless it does, it is not real, and cannot be at all. If you are real the world you see is false, for God’s creation is unlike the world in every way. And as it was His Thought by which you were created, so it is your thoughts which made it and must set it free, that you may know the Thoughts you share with God.” (W-pI.132.11)

Thank you. I see.

Rev. Sherry Jonckheere, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Brighton, Michigan.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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