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April-June, 2012

Recognizing When self Overtakes Self

by Rev. Barbara Siegel, O.M.C.

Yesterday, I went to an all day workshop with Rev. Jennifer Hadley. It was a wonderful day of fellowship and learning. Rev. Hadley had us do an activity where we wrote all the things we judge ourselves for and then shared our list with another person. Without going into detail, what I learned from this valuable activity was that we all pretty much judge ourselves for the same things: not being worthy, not being loving enough, not letting go of judgments, not being as good or smart as others, etc. The real value of this activity was that I truly saw how we are all one, you are me and I am you. I also saw how I have been playing “small” — not living up to what I truly could be because I let these judgments stand in the way. I mean, I really saw it! It wasn’t just a little recognition, but a true “Ah ha.” Fear, of course, also plays a part. After all, if I live up to my real potential, what will people expect of me? 

After this activity, we did another where we identified our true purpose, our skills, and our spiritual qualities. Again, a very worthwhile activity. I saw that my purpose is to awaken, teach, and counsel others. I left the workshop feeling good, feeling that I had touched my true Self and that I no longer wanted to keep the mask of playing my small, insecure, little self. It was a wonderful feeling. But, as soon as I got in the car for the ride home, I felt it start to slip. When I came in the front door and my husband told me how the realtor who was supposed to show our condo no showed, I felt it slip even more. Then the whole discussion about where to go for dinner, when should we leave, etc., took me back to that little self. It was a physical feeling. I felt it slipping away until I hit bottom just like you would see a child at the top of a slide come down and land on his tush. “What the heck happened?” I wondered.

I got up this morning and still felt down. I went into my morning study time and sat in prayer. “Please, Holy Spirit, please, Mother/Father God, show me what happened. Why did I lose that feeling of being in-touch with Self so quickly and so fully?” Thankfully, an answer came: “The self was threatened and so all the thoughts of not being smart enough, good enough, etc., came right back in through the door of your mind. You didn’t stop them, you didn’t block the entrance, you just let them all come back and get comfortable again. If you want to stay in the Self, you can’t open the gates and let any thought that wants to come through the mind just go through. You wouldn’t let a herd of cattle roam through a field of beautiful flowers, would you? You left the gates opened without any regard for what was going through. Close them now!”

“How do I do that?” I asked.

“Prayer, use of your mantra, discipline and willingness” I heard.

“Okay, I will use all of those,” I said. In my prayer, I told Spirit that I was willing and asked for help in releasing these old, useless judgments of myself that had flooded in. When I was done, I started repeating my mantra, “I am that I AM.” I am the higher Self, I am capable of all that God has endowed in me. I kept watch on my mind. When one of the old thoughts tried to enter, I went to the mantra or to the thought that I am lovable and loving and no longer want that thought of smallness to enter my mind. It took a large part of the day, but I feel I have returned to the knowing I had after the workshop yesterday. I am very grateful for this knowing and hope that by sharing my experience, you might see how you let these thoughts of judgment trample down your field of beauty. If so, I hope these simple practices of prayer, mantra, discipline and willingness will help you to get back on track. We are one! We are all capable of being the Self God meant us to be.

Rev. Barbara Siegel is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Louis, Missouri.
Web site:Btheblessing.com

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this copyright notice and website address are included.

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April-June, 2012

An ACIM Inspired Perspective on Alzheimer’s

by Rev. Curtis Graf, M.D., O.M.C.

Question: I would love an ACIM-inspired interpretation of Alzheimer’s. I am living with and caring for a relative who has been diagnosed. I’ve gotten good support from a group but it doesn’t feel adequate. I am a long time Course student and would like help with a perspective on this ‘disease.’ 

Rev. Curtis Graf, M.D.: I am a retired Neurologist and a Course student. As you know any attempt to explain an illusion within an illusion is like trying to explain a dream while still dreaming, but I’ll try. I saw many patients with Alzheimer’s disease and there always seemed to be a sense of withdrawal from life. This was associated with a lot of denial and the biggest denial of all was that anything was wrong with them. This often led to paranoid delusions where they would accuse family members of affairs or care givers of theft. They had fixed beliefs that they could not seem to let go of.

I suspect some of these beliefs represented their deepest fears in life which they could not let go of and which worsened with time. But the memory loss of their disease gradually lessened these fears and the beliefs associated with them. I believe this condition is chosen by their ego mind to reduce the guilt and fears (mostly unconscious) that have plagued them in life and for most of them I think they are successful. I was always impressed by many of the patients who eventually became peaceful and docile. They had no more thoughts, guilt or fears that plagued them.

In this world of illusion we eventually get to a point where we start looking for a way out. Without the right guide (Holy Spirit), we choose insane ways to escape and I believe Alzheimer’s disease is just one of these ways. Many people just choose to leave the world early by dying, but Alzheimer patients may be scared of death and therefore choose a more protracted way out.

These patients deserve only our love, compassion, and acceptance. As we try to see the face of Christ in them, I believe it will help them to see that they have another choice and that is to choose their right mind. Fortunately we are all children of God in Spirit and these illnesses we invent are unreal, harmless, and neither good nor bad.

Rev. Curtis Graf, M.D., O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Mobile, Alabama.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2012

Holy Spirit’s Study Group

Rev. Julieanne Paige, O.M.C.

It has been three days since my ordination. I have been busy catching up with friends and family that wanted to congratulate me, setting up my website, filing and organizing.

As I was sorting through my filing I came across the sign up form for the ‘ACIM Study Group Leader Program’. I currently meet once a month with a friend over the phone to study ACIM, and we love this time together. I have also received a request from someone in another county that would be interested in joining a Book Study.

The form has been filled out for a few weeks. I just thought I would wait until after my ordination to send it. I placed it in my scanner and the thoughts started.

‘Who are you to start a Book Study? There are many other people that are far more qualified and familiar with ACIM than you.’

‘What if someone comes and asks questions you don’t know how to answer?’

These thoughts kept coming. I stopped and asked Holy Spirit – ‘What is this? I want to see this differently.’

Holy Spirit guided me to the Manual for Teachers, page 5, 4th paragraph. What was standing out to me was the 4th sentence (M-5.4:4)... ‘The pupil comes at the right time to the right place.’

There it was. I had forgotten that Holy Spirit is the one in charge. Anyone in a Book Study has been assigned by Holy Spirit to be a part of that group.

Holy Spirit guided me further by reminding me that the Introduction to A Course in Miracles clearly states in sentence 4: ‘Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum.’

So the curriculum is not my concern either. My thoughts have now turned to the excitement of meeting those that Holy Spirit will send to me. I know today that all I need is a willingness to let Holy Spirit take the lead. I am grateful for Holy Spirit’s reinterpretation today and will now email these new thoughts along with my form, asking to please sign me up for ‘Holy Spirit’s ACIM Study Group Leader Program’!

Rev. Julieanne Paige, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Torquay, Devon, United Kingdom.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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April-June, 2012

The Spiritual Gift of Now

by Rev. Linda Ledbeter, O.M.C.

Now is the center of all that was:
all the experiences of disappointments,
joy and laughter; it is the
All of that was, seen and unseen.

Now holds the key stepping into
tomorrow, your next thought,
next action, and next choice.

Now is this moment in time.
It is all you have.

Now is the point you choose to forgive
yourself for actions taken, actions that
were driven by a state of unknowing.

Now is the time to look at the
unknowing with a new Light,
a new Thought,
rather than from a state of judgment.

Now is the time to ask to see
others as God sees them.

Now is the time to raise the vibration
of gratitude of all your experiences,
allowing the Light of Love
to shine upon the Truth

Now is the time to choose to see
the glorious truth in All.

Now is the intersection of your life.
Life choices that are motivated by
thoughts; thoughts that become emotions
that affect choices in your health,
relationships and prosperity.

Now is greater than yesterday
and the engine into tomorrow.

Now is learning the importance
of forgiving the past.

Now is the time to bless the past
and present with gratitude and love.

Now is the accumulation of the All,
resting in the palm of your hands.

Now is the time to choose from the heart
of forgiveness; forgiveness opens the
Hearts’ door to Love —
Love opens the door to Peace.

Now is the time to allow Love
to flourish with abandon.

Now is the time to accept
your Greatness.

Now is all you have and all there is.

Rev. Linda Ledbeter is a Pathways of Light minister who lives in Plymouth, Wisconsin

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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