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Study of Manual for Teachers 1/31/12

Day 31
IX. Faithfulness
1 The extent of the teacher of God’s faithfulness is the measure of his advancement in the curriculum. Does he still select some aspects of his life to bring to his learning, while keeping others apart? If so, his advancement is limited, and his trust not yet firmly established. Faithfulness is the teacher of God’s trust in the Word of God to set all things right; not some, but all. Generally, his faithfulness begins by resting on just some problems, remaining carefully limited for a time. To give up all problems to one Answer is to reverse the thinking of the world entirely. And that alone is faithfulness. Nothing but that really deserves the name. Yet each degree, however small, is worth achieving. Readiness, as the text notes, is not mastery. 
2 True faithfulness, however, does not deviate. Being consistent, it is wholly honest. Being unswerving, it is full of trust. Being based on fearlessness, it is gentle. Being certain, it is joyous. And being confident, it is tolerant. Faithfulness, then, combines in itself the other attributes of God’s teachers. It implies acceptance of the Word of God and His definition of His Son. It is to Them that faithfulness in the true sense is always directed. Toward Them it looks, seeking until it finds. And having found, it rests in quiet certainty on that alone to which all faithfulness is due.

It seems impossible not to try to place myself within the characteristics of God’s teachers. How faithful am I? How close am I to giving up all problems to one Answer and thus to reversing the thinking of the world? I’m not sure that exercise is helpful, but I seem unable to resist it.

“Does he still select some aspects of his life to bring to his learning, while keeping others apart?” This question used to haunt me because when I would find an aspect that I was holding separate from healing, I felt terribly guilty and condemned. My mind would tell me that its one thing to leave something out because I don’t recognize what I’m doing, or just don’t see it, but how could I deliberately say, “God, I don’t want you to have this part of my life. I don’t trust you with it.” 

This brought up all the old “fear of God” stuff in my mind. At the least it made me feel selfish. I’m holding back the salvation of the world because I don’t have enough faith to give over some little part of my life. I felt dishonest because I say I want to wake up, that this is my single purpose, but obviously I have another purpose. I want to be in charge of this bit of my life.

I just don’t trust God to do as good a job as I will. Oh my goodness, that is just ridiculous. I suppose that the reluctance is that there is still a deep down, hidden fear of God that has not been healed, and of course this is true. Its not a little fear, but a seemingly bottomless pit of terror that I suspect is there. The fear of God is the last obstacle to peace.

An example of something I have held back from God is my relationship with my children. When my son was sick I told God exactly what needed to be done. It was weeks of agonized begging and awful fear before I realized the faithlessness I was showing.

In a moment of healing I gave Him my son. I gave God my son completely. I didn’t say, just don’t let him suffer, or just don’t let him die. I gave Him my son in absolute trust that whatever happened was perfect even if I didn’t understand.

I trusted that God knows how to love my son even better than I do. I trusted that God knows me and knows my needs and loves me. Whatever happens, it will be for me, not against me. This surrender was not one of ultimate sacrifice, but of complete trust and brought with it peace. Since that experience, it is always easier to let go now.

I still need to be vigilant for those moments when I would hold back some part of my life. I remind myself often during the day that I would only follow. I do this by asking, “What would you have me do now?” When I notice a desire to keep a problem or a decision to myself, I quickly become willing to choose again. If I need help to make my desire complete then I ask for it.

I have one part of my life I have not trusted to God. Looking at it logically, I know I am being foolish, and yet there is still fear of giving it to Him. I no longer feel afraid God is going to punish me for my lack of faith, nor do I feel like a failure. I do feel uncomfortable because I know I am putting my faith in the ego and that’s a big mistake, but I am where I am with this, and while I do not doubt my desire to be of one mind, I also know I cannot make this happen through ego will. So I trust that my true Self will prevail and I practice patience while I wait.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 1/30/12

Day 30

VIII. Patience
1 Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. Patience is natural to the teacher of God. All he sees is certain outcome, at a time perhaps unknown to him as yet, but not in doubt. The time will be as right as is the answer. And this is true for everything that happens now or in the future. The past as well held no mistakes; nothing that did not serve to benefit the world, as well as him to whom it seemed to happen. Perhaps it was not understood at the time. Even so, the teacher of God is willing to reconsider all his past decisions, if they are causing pain to anyone. Patience is natural to those who trust. Sure of the ultimate interpretation of all things in time, no outcome already seen or yet to come can cause them fear.

The future: When I think of all the time I spent contracted around the idea that I need to do more and do it faster if I ever want to wake up; and when I think of how much time I spent thinking I wish I could wake up now, and I must be doing something wrong since I’m not so I must be guilty, I just laugh.

I guess that was just a step on the path, but if you are there, I suggest that you don’t tarry any longer than you have to. Its painful to think that you should be someplace you are not, and being in pain won’t get you to the end of the journey any faster. Instead, just take the next step and the next step. Remember your purpose. Do your practices. Live in gratitude for each moment of the awakening process. This is what brings us to the memory of Self.

The past: When I think of all the time I have spent, and sometimes still spend, wishing the past were different, regretting past actions, feeling guilty for my ignorance, I laugh. I visit the past only to forgive what I find there, and that is the only use I can see for the past.
Here is a quote I found on facebook that I put on my remember board.

Forgiveness. Giving up all hope of a better past.

My suggestion for the past; Don’t tarry there. If you find yourself reliving a past moment forgive it and leave it. The past doesn’t exist so every moment spent there is not living; it is a moment spent doing nothing, and often it is a moment spent in pain. If a past regret surfaces in my mind, I would forgive that moment and then go back to living. If a happy moment surfaces in my mind, I would feel gratitude and then go back to living.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 1/29/12

Day 29
VII. Generosity
1 The term generosity has special meaning to the teacher of God. It is not the usual meaning of the word; in fact, it is a meaning that must be learned and learned very carefully. Like all the other attributes of God’s teachers this one rests ultimately on trust, for without trust no one can be generous in the true sense. To the world, generosity means “giving away” in the sense of “giving up.” To the teachers of God, it means giving away in order to keep. This has been emphasized throughout the text and the workbook, but it is perhaps more alien to the thinking of the world than many other ideas in our curriculum. Its greater strangeness lies merely in the obviousness of its reversal of the world’s thinking. In the clearest way possible, and at the simplest of levels, the word means the exact opposite to the teachers of God and to the world. 

2 The teacher of God is generous out of Self interest. This does not refer, however, to the self of which the world speaks. The teacher of God does not want anything he cannot give away, because he realizes it would be valueless to him by definition. What would he want it for? He could only lose because of it. He could not gain. Therefore he does not seek what only he could keep, because that is a guarantee of loss. He does not want to suffer. Why should he ensure himself pain? But he does want to keep for himself all things that are of God, and therefore for His Son. These are the things that belong to him. These he can give away in true generosity, protecting them forever for himself.

Once this section is understood it is easy to know what it is that I want, and what has no value to me. I lay awake this morning at 3 am waiting for a migraine to subside and wishing I could go back to sleep. I was placing great value on being able to sleep. Is this something of God? Or is this something of the body, therefore of the ego? Since it was not of God it was of no value to me.

I had a hard time convincing myself that this is true because I have always had a rule about how much sleep I need, and must remind myself that this is no longer true for me. I let my mind wander and watched my thoughts. One of the reasons I believe I need to get back to sleep is that I want to wake up in time to do exactly what I am doing now. I want to do the next section of the Manual for Teachers. After worrying about this for awhile I just laughed at myself, got up and did it. Will I go back to sleep afterward? I don’t know.

I am glad to be reminded of what is of value. This study seems to be important to me. It seems to have value, not for the sake of the study itself, but for where it seems to be leading me. Perhaps also because in my study and my sharing we are given an opportunity to join in our single purpose of awakening. It is not the only way, but it is a helpful way to do this. This is of God.

I can give this away. I give it through the words I write and through the sharing that occurs as you who read it comment, or even if there is no comment. That we have shared in this study is enough. I give it through my intent to follow guidance and through what I learn as I open my mind to Spirit. What I gain is gained by all, so it is a generous gift. Giving it is the way I keep it.

Someone calls for counseling and I put aside what I thought I was going to be doing, not out of an ego sense of sacrifice, but out of the desire for union, and because that is my guidance. I give my full attention, and I set aside the little self and wait for words to be given. This is of God and is a gift that is truly given both to the one I speak to and to myself.

I become upset about something that is happening in my life and I ask for healing; I return to the Holy Spirit for help as many times as it takes to fully convince myself I want healing. This is of God. This practice is of value and I give it as I receive it because the only mind being healed is ours.

I forgive. I am kind. I am patient. I am loving. Usually these are easy choices and the value is obvious. Sometimes it seems to go against all reason as the world sees it, and I have to ask for help to change my mind. Either way these are true gifts, of great value because they are of God, and as I give them I gain them. My generosity is to self.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 1/28/12

Day 28
VI. Defenselessness
1 God’s teachers have learned how to be simple. They have no dreams that need defense against the truth. They do not try to make themselves. Their joy comes from their understanding Who created them. And does what God created need defense? No one can become an advanced teacher of God until he fully understands that defenses are but foolish guardians of mad illusions. The more grotesque the dream, the fiercer and more powerful its defenses seem to be. Yet when the teacher of God finally agrees to look past them, he finds that nothing was there. Slowly at first he lets himself be undeceived. But he learns faster as his trust increases. It is not danger that comes when defenses are laid down. It is safety. It is peace. It is joy. And it is God.

I am being told that a teacher of God does not defend his illusions, but rather looks past them to the truth. I have often done this with others. I see their behavior, recognize it is not who they are and that it doesn’t ultimately matter. It certainly doesn’t make them guilty or prove they are not what God created.

I find this harder to do with myself. I tend to judge my own behavior and to believe it defines me. I am very vigilant for this and ask for correction when I see it. Holy Spirit, please help me with this.

Holy Spirit: You have been doing this, Myron. You could not see your brother as innocent if you could not see yourself in that way. Just as you sometimes judge others, you still sometimes judge yourself. Do not overlook your healing simply because you notice that there is still healing to be done.

Continue to ask what it is you are. This is helpful, because you are becoming willing to know. Ask what you are through asking what your brother is. When you see a brother and notice his behavior and notice that you want to judge it, ask instead, “What is my brother?” If you do this you will be putting aside what you think you know so that you can be taught. When you know what your brother is, you will know what you are.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of Manual for Teachers 1-27-12

Day 27
V. Joy
1 Joy is the inevitable result of gentleness. Gentleness means that fear is now impossible, and what could come to interfere with joy? The open hands of gentleness are always filled. The gentle have no pain. They cannot suffer. Why would they not be joyous? They are sure they are beloved and must be safe. Joy goes with gentleness as surely as grief attends attack. God’s teachers trust in Him. And they are sure His Teacher goes before them, making sure no harm can come to them. They hold His gifts and follow in His way, because God’s Voice directs them in all things. Joy is their song of thanks. And Christ looks down on them in thanks as well. His need of them is just as great as theirs of Him. How joyous it is to share the purpose of salvation!

Joy as described here is not something I can achieve through my efforts in the world, and is not connected to something I own, or have. It is not the result of winning the lottery or owning a lovely home, or being in love. It is not the result of anything that I can see or touch, or hear. It has nothing to do with the body or the world.

When I am centered, when I have withdrawn my projections and there is no defense or attack in me, joy is simply there. Sometimes it rises up in me so strongly that I laugh out loud. Sometimes I cry tears of joy. It is just too much to keep in and has to come out in some way. Sometimes it simply feels like peace and is so lovely.

So far I have not sustained this state for too long before I begin to pay attention to my thoughts and to question my safety. When I do this, my mind begins to plan defense strategies and I lose my peace and my joy.

Of course they haven’t gone anywhere because they are my true nature, but I have lost all sense of them because I have chosen to withdraw from God. It might be something as simple as judging the person standing next to me or wondering if I will run out of money before I run out of month.

One thought follows another and pretty soon I’m stepping away from the person next to me. (That’s an interesting symbol of the separation I created with my judgment.) Or I am making plans on my own to protect against a financial shortfall, and at the same time teaching myself lack and loss. Maybe I will think of someone or something that is responsible for my predicament because I don’t like how I feel when I judge myself for my carelessness.

It’s easy to see how I lose that sense of peace and the joy that was so lovely just moments ago. I cannot be joyful if I am being harmful, through judgment, attack, and defense or any form of separation. When the mind detects danger and begins to build its defenses I have forgotten the purpose I share with Christ, and so I have forgotten my joy.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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