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Gentle Healing Journal Lesson 92 2-4-19

LESSON 92
Miracles are seen in light, and light and strength are one.

Wednesday, I worked my way through a significant grievance, the content of which began when I was quite young. It felt really uncomfortable when I was in the grievance but it was worth it to release that unhealed belief that had been taking up space in my mind for my whole life. When I went to my Al Anon meeting, the first two people I greeted commented on how good I looked, like there was a glow about me. I told them that was just happiness.

So, Thursday night more stuff came to my awareness. I suddenly felt this overwhelming sadness about the state of the world, the divisiveness, the completely unfounded fear, the anger and even hatred. I just sat there and choked out sobs, that was how strong the feeling was. I let it out without trying to control it or even think about it. When I thought it was done, I asked what this was really about but the answer didn’t come at first.

Added to the extreme emotional reaction was the fear of not knowing what was going on and the realization that it was not over. Every time I thought I was through with the feeling part, strong emotion moved through me again. I wanted to let it have its way, but I didn’t want to wallow in it. Too much focus on the ego response tends to harden it in my mind. I go from simply watching it, to being lost in it.

Finally, I gave up dealing with it and decided to see how I felt this morning. Much to my dismay, the feeling was still there, not as strong, but then the day was still young. Again, I had another “come to Jesus” moment in which I asked him to help me understand what this was really all about. I must have been ready for the answer because I felt the word hopeless burst out of my mouth on another sob. Good! Now we are getting someplace!

I also heard the word helpless. I was looking at the belief in hopelessness and the belief that I was helpless to do anything about it. So, I reminded myself that this could not be true and I did my best to release it. I was having a hard time, though. I did this over and over and then decided to just do my next lesson for the Gentle Healing group, although I wondered if I would be able to do a good job considering how I felt.

And of course, here in the lesson was my answer and my healing.

3 It is God’s strength in you that is the light in which you see, as it is His Mind with which you think. His strength denies your weakness. It is your weakness that sees through the body’s eyes, peering about in darkness to behold the likeness of itself; the small, the weak, the sickly and the dying, those in need, the helpless and afraid, the sad, the poor, the starving and the joyless. These are seen through eyes that cannot see and cannot bless.

4 Strength overlooks these things by seeing past appearances. It keeps its steady gaze upon the light that lies beyond them. It unites with light, of which it is a part. It sees itself. It brings the light in which your Self appears. In darkness you perceive a self that is not there. Strength is the truth about you; weakness is an idol falsely worshipped and adored that strength may be dispelled, and darkness rule where God appointed that there should be light.

It was like a light came on in my mind and I saw everything in crystal clarity. It seems I was fooled by the strong emotional response into believing that because it was so intense there must be something real behind it, that it must have meaning. I immediately shifted my awareness to my right mind and all the emotion faded away and happiness returned with no other effort on my part.

I feel just a little bit of a lump in my throat thinking about the sad state of the world right now. That is the ego mind wanting to think about the illusion as if it is real. It wants to go back into the story. I release that to the Holy Spirit, too. I want always to be in my right mind because it is as close to God and to the state of Heaven as I will manage while I am still in time.

Regina’s Tip
Today’s lesson also introduces a new opportunity to pay attention to awareness, a method that can be practiced throughout the day everyday no matter where you are or what you are doing.

If you pay careful attention to yourself, you will see when you believe “I am a body.” Some of the symptoms of this belief are judgment, condemnation, fear, attack, self-hatred and a sense of being separate from everyone and everything outside of your body.

Today’s lesson asks us to shift our attention from that weakness (“I am a body”) to strength (awareness). We are asked to repeat today’s workbook lesson to our self throughout the day today. To really maximize the benefit, it is helpful to linger for a few seconds after repeating the workbook lesson. Simply linger in a relaxed state and notice awareness (isness, aliveness).

My Thought
It is helpful to realize that our judgment, condemnation, fear, attack, self-hatred and a sense of being separate from everyone and everything outside of your body are indicative of a belief we are a body. I watch for this stuff all the time and I release it when I find it. Sometimes it feels like I will never get to the end of it, but all of those many thoughts represent the one thought that I am a body, so I will succeed eventually.

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