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October-December, 2023

Growing into My Glasses

by Rev. Paula Richards, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

“Let’s see if we can help you to see more clearly,” the attendant said. I wasn’t at the ophthalmologist for a routine eye exam, but they quickly ascertained that one was needed. I’m in my seventies and my last appointment was over two years ago.

There is always an adjustment period when I get new eyeglasses. The frames might need some tweaking to feel comfortable, but there is also an adjustment to a different field of view. Even though the view is clearer, I usually experience a brief period of slight disorientation, a sense of being unbalanced.

Although my perceived physical vision seems to be declining, I equate getting a new eye prescription with my spiritual vision becoming clearer. And, though getting new frames can be a fun fashion statement experience, I believe it can also be an outward representation of an inner state of mind. Two years ago, physically, and emotionally drained from a five-year care-giving experience, I chose meek, mild-mannered, nearly invisible frames. A lot has changed in those two years. I moved across the country alone, leaving behind all I’ve known for the past seventy years. Nine months later, I dealt with my mom’s passing and having to relocate again. With all the turmoil, I also wrestled with several health issues, some of which felt life-threatening at the time.

I am now settled in my new life; calmer, steadier, more open, and more prepared to step into whatever and wherever Holy Spirit’s guidance leads me. The new frames I chose are bigger, bolder, and more defined than the old ones. I felt the inner shift as soon as I tried them on. My friend was grinning at me. Her shoulder-shrugging response to my hesitation was, “Well, you just might have to grow into them.” We both laughed.

I wore the new frames for almost two weeks with very positive responses from mostly everyone, though one person said she found them a bit intimidating. Even after eight adjustments, they proved to be too heavy for my face, but wearing them helped me readjust to my new inner level of confidence as a teacher of God. I knew this experience had nothing to do with getting anyone else’s approval and everything to do with stepping into my own. When a friend asked me to put my old frames back on for comparison, she said, “Wow, it’s almost like you disappeared!”

Now, I get that it’s important to stop identifying with the body and remember my true nature as spirit, but as someone who feels called to be a speaker, a messenger of God in this physical world, being invisible might not be the best approach! So, after all the futile attempts to make the new frames work, I surrendered. My prayer to Holy Spirit became, please help me find the best frames for the work you would have me do in this world; frames that would help me appear approachable, sure, and trustworthy; frames that would help me relate to and communicate with people in a calm, non-threatening way.

The replacement frames I chose are more middle-of-the-road. They are lighter-weight metal frames that highlight my eyes without overpowering them. They will be ready sometime this week. Metaphorically speaking, I believe I will be ready too. During the last few weeks, I’ve had more and more experiences of seeing some longstanding personal issues in a new, more enlightened way. Recently, I was brought to tears as I had yet another realization. An event I had felt great sadness about for years was seen in a new light. The new awareness came with a torrent of emotion. My beautiful spiritual partner waited until I had assimilated the lesson, and my tears subsided. With a gentle smile, she looked at me and said, “Looks like you are growing into your new glasses.”

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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