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October-December, 2023

Transforming Our Relationships with Holy Spirit

by Robert and Mary Stoelting, founders of Pathways of Light

The only way we can transform our relationships is to let the Holy Spirit guide our thoughts toward seeing innocence and unity instead of letting the ego’s false beliefs of being separate, alone and guilty guide our thinking.

When we are following the ego, we identify with this world because we like the differences we have made up and we want to make it understandable. We want to make it appear to be our reality. We value the dream of having a unique identity. We value competition and specialness.

The good news is that we can’t separate from the Holy Spirit, Who is always there in our mind, waiting to help us receive the truth. When we are willing to let the Holy Spirit transform our thoughts, we learn that everyone was created holy. We are guided to the truth that everyone is an extension of God’s Love, because everyone is included in God’s wholeness or oneness. We see that everyone is really the same Love of God, even though we have chosen to make up stories of differences and uniqueness.

The Holy Spirit is the Thought God gave us in our mind to lead us to our eternal Home in God’s universal Love. This Thought is our best Friend, for Its purpose is to awaken us to God’s Love. The Holy Spirit is always present in our mind. It cannot leave us because God placed Him there. With the Holy Spirit we come to recognize that the differences we see in illusions of separate bodies are all equally unreal.

All our distress and unhappiness in the world comes from believing we have separated from our Source. The Holy Spirit’s purpose is to help us undo our mistaken beliefs. As we are willing to accept His help, we learn to see the Love that surrounds us and is in us. We let the Holy Spirit transform our relationships. As we open our minds to His loving correction, we find peace and happiness that is part of the Love we have always been.

“This year determine not to deny what has been given you by God. Awake and share it, for that is the only reason He has called to you. His Voice has spoken clearly, and yet you have so little faith in what you heard, because you have preferred to place still greater faith in the disaster you have made. Today, let us resolve together to accept the joyful tidings that disaster is not real and that reality is not disaster. Reality is safe and sure, and wholly kind to everyone and everything.” (T-16.II.8:2-6)

Because the ego is the idea of being separate from Love, of course it relates to stories of suffering, sacrifice and deprivation. It loves these stories because they increase its sense of a separate ‘self.’ They increase its sense that it has really made its world of specialness, of individuality, real. If we consistently practiced seeing past these stories with the help of the Holy Spirit, the ego would disappear.

Jesus tells us very specifically how to do this when he says, “…if you will merely sit quietly by and let the Holy Spirit relate through you, you will empathize with strength, and will gain in strength and not in weakness.” (T-16.I.2:7)

To receive the Holy Spirit’s guidance we need to be in peace; we need to take time to quiet our minds and be receptive. The ego’s first impulse will always be to reinforce separation. Our vigilance to not follow this first impulse but to step back and open our minds to the Holy Spirit’s guidance allows us to be taught how to heal all our relationships.

He tells us, “Focus your mind only on this: I am not alone, and I would not intrude the past upon my Guest. I have invited Him, and He is here. I need do nothing except not to interfere.” (T-16.I.3:9-12)

As we diligently practice this stepping back and not interfering, we will experience the Holy Spirit’s insight through us and thus learn what it is. The form in which this perspective is expressed will vary according to each situation but the feeling of unity will be the same. As always the Holy Spirit will use every situation to teach us of the reality of oneness, if we let Him.

The ego thought system is belief in weakness — separation from the strength of Love. The ego uses relationships in order to reinforce belief in weakness and loss. But we are told here that the opposite is true.

“The meaning of love is lost in any relationship that looks to weakness, and hopes to find love there. The power of love, which is its meaning, lies in the strength of God that hovers over it and blesses it silently by enveloping it in healing wings.” (T-16.I.6:1-2)

The Holy Spirit remembers we are all one and that we all still remain the same as we were created by God. We could never be weak in truth and we could never get sick and die. As we learn to step back and not think we know anything on our own, we leave room for the Holy Spirit to work through us.

That is why Jesus gives us this advice in reference to all of our relationships: “What you give through Him is for the whole Sonship, not for part of it. Leave Him His function, for He will fulfill it if you but ask Him to enter your relationships, and bless them for you.” (T-16.I.7:8-9)

Mary and Robert: For well over 40 years we have joined together with one purpose in mind — to step back and let Holy Spirit lead the way with every problem we perceived. Together we were also able to reinforce that it is through stopping and listening to the Holy Spirit we learned to pay attention to God’s Answer regarding healing all our relationships.

Over these many years of practice, we have found that the Holy Spirit is a very good Teacher. Our trust in remembering that we know nothing on our own has brought us both peace and a very happy life.

We have learned that if we allow the Holy Spirit to show us the holiness in every brother, we will see it. We cannot see wholeness and separation at the same time. When we let go of believing in what we see with our physical senses, we leave an opening for the truth of wholeness or holiness to enter.

“Bid Him welcome, and honor the witnesses who bring you the glad tidings He has come. It is true, just as you fear, that to acknowledge Him is to deny all that you think you know. But what you think you know was never true.” (T-16.II.6:5-7)

We discovered that it really works. It is here that we find certainty. It is here that we find peace. It has been worth the effort. Through this consistent practice we return Home to the oneness of our Father.

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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