Finding Our Way Back to Love


The tumbleweed blows around in the desert after it dies it dries up and forms a big ball that rolls around on the barren dust at the winds command.  It goes wherever the wind takes it, and as it tumbles around it drops little seeds in its path. Aimlessly it tumbles to and fro without any direction of its own.
How I can relate to that feeling as a tumbleweed.  Growing up I often felt dry, un-nurtured, and without direction.  The wind reminds me of how I felt that I had no direction of my own. I would often give my power away trying to please others. I didn’t trust myself and I definitely didn’t know how to love myself or care for myself.  I knew how to give but I didn’t know how to receive. 
I think I felt like someone else would come along someday and make me feel whole.  I thought my husband could save me from my lack of self-esteem, he could make me feel special and loved.  And when that didn’t work out I felt even more unlovable.  I was unacceptable as a human being.  Everyone in my life had proved that to me.  When I married again I thought, I just had a bad first experience, this time I will feel better about myself.  But no matter how much he showed me he loved me, I couldn’t believe him.  I didn’t trust him, people have already shown me what to expect from them and I was not about to let myself be vulnerable again.
Through many tears and heartaches I learned that I wasn’t an island. If I didn’t learn to trust I would not find life worth living.  Depression was hanging over me like a veil, I felt weighed down and so alone in my pain.  Until one day I heard a voice say to me, “Peggy, I love you”.
It didn’t take long until I realized that the voice I heard was Holy Spirit calling to me.  Letting me know that I was loved.  I found a book called A Course in Miracles, and as I read my world began to change.  I learned that I am Love.  No matter what the external world appears to say, none of that is true.  I have learned that when I feel anything but Love I am experiencing the fears of the ego.
Recently I was feeling left out in a situation.  I again experienced that feeling of rejection and self-loathing.  I cried out to Holy Spirit to help me with what I was feeling. Sometimes I get messages from Holy Spirit as if I were talking to someone I can’t see, but other times I get the message I need in other ways.  This time I received what I needed from a book.  Anita Moorjani, wrote a book called, Dying to Be Me. She had lymphoma and when she went in to a coma she found herself in a state of awareness where only love exists.  She healed from her cancer and she gives talks about what caused her to develop cancer in the first place.
She also was a people pleaser.  She spent her life trying to be something she wasn’t and she became hopeless.  She said unresolved emotions can eventually lead to illness and the path to healing is learning to replace all that fear with love.  Fear causes a big whole in you that needs to be filled and you have to fill it with Love.
I realized that no matter what my external circumstances were, I will always be Love.  Sometimes the world we see with our human eyes feels so real that it is so easy to forget that this is only make believe.  Anita said if we could see how magnificent we really are we would be blown away.  In this life we are to let our true light really shine.  To Love everyone and everything, even the earth is alive.  When we accept false beliefs about ourselves it dims our light and we begin to hide who we are. We have to find a way every day to remind ourselves what is really true.  Never let the world diminish our true light.
In A Course in Miracles, Text Pg.19, 1.10,11 it says, “This peace is totally incapable of being shaken by errors of any kind. It denies the ability on anything not of God to affect you”.
Thank you
Rev. Peggy Rivera
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Reminding Myself Who I Am

When I opened the Lesson for today I was so grateful that what I read was really what I needed to hear today.  In ACIM Workbook for students, Lesson 56, pg. 92.  “My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.”  I had been feeling a little down because of some family misperceptions.  I say misperceptions because I know from the course that whenever I am unhappy about something I know it isn’t real, it is my perceptions from an unhealed mind.  If I get into the drama of picking apart all of the feelings of injustice that I feel I can get lost in a dark and lonely dream.  I have to remind myself who I really am and who we all are, and how we all get sucked in to the rolls that we play here on the earth plane.  When I remind myself that the truth is we make up these rolls as we go along, but the truth of who we are as eternal Love is never changing.  I can see there really isn’t anything to be upset about.
I realize that I have to go to Holy Spirit continually to help me see things differently, I need to let go of the image that I have created of myself so I can easily see the truth.  As I let go of the image that I see in the world I make room for seeing the reality of God and His Love for all of us, I see He doesn’t see the darkness I get wrapped up in because darkness does not exist in the light.  In God’s Light there is only Love, Joy, Peace, Beauty, Creativity, etc.  And He wants all of this for us.  He gives all of this to us.  When we get lost in the drama of the world, we don’t recognize it.  What a shame it is to miss out on all of these gifts.  I ask for my eyes to be opened to see only Love.  I ask to be released from my fears and insecurity.  I know that every time I begin to let myself fall back into the thoughts of the ego I will be judgmental of others and myself, it feels like being depressed and full of darkness.  I Love when I call on the help of Holy Spirit, my Higher Self I am quickly and pleasantly reminded to see the beauty in everyone, everything and know that I get to choose how to live.  In peace and Love or in dark depression, I think that’s a no-brainer.

Reverend Peggy Rivera,
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Gratitude for my Friend

    I love this time of year, the weather has cooled off a little bit even though I live in Florida we still get a break from the extremely warm temperatures of July through September.  And at Thanksgiving time I am always reminded to pay attention to the things I am so grateful for.  Even though sometimes we lose the very things and people we love.  This is the time of year that we reflect over the past year and acknowledge all that we have learned.  Some people really struggle during the holidays because it is a reminder of the people that are no longer with them.  This year we lost a wonderful and lovely friend, she was my teacher for the Pathways of Light 900 courses, Linda Wisnieski.  I loved her dearly and I will miss her tremendously and I know everyone who knew her feels like I do. Her light could brighten a room.  It is no wonder that she left us during this time of thanksgiving.  Because she is such a light that anyone who shared time with her would find themselves inspired by her, and grateful for the opportunity to know her.  I am so thankful she came into my life.  She was a wonderful teacher, she was so loving and kind.  She never failed to let you know she was happy to even hear your voice. 
    Linda really taught me about loving unconditionally.  She often laughed and said “no guilt, I’m innocent”.  She really brought home what it means to be non-judgmental.  She reminded me that God doesn’t judge, we do.  But that is also why we are here, learning to accept everyone as they are because we are all one. Sometimes I think I have gotten past something that I held a grievance over and I will feel really good about myself, thinking I have really come far.  Then something will trigger an old feeling and suddenly I think “whoa” what happened there?  I have learned that often times there are layers to my feelings.  And I realize that when I have been triggered it is another opportunity to heal at an even deeper level.  Our emotions are like diamonds, they have many facets and for the diamond to really sparkle you have to clean all the facets.  This doesn’t mean you have to dwell on old feelings and keep them alive, it just means you can acknowledge them so you can understand and heal.  Living with buried feelings really does keep you imprisoned but looking at them and shining them off sets you free.  Because if you don’t look at them, the tendency is to bury them and keep acting out from that place.  If you don’t want to live in the past then you have to set it free.  We do that by looking at how the emotions have created patterns that keep repeating themselves through-out your life.  Then we ask Holy Spirit to show us how to see differently.  This is how we really heal, we see what needed to be learned in this earthly sojourn.  And every time we allow ourselves to really look at what lies beneath the surface we gain clarity and the ability to love deeper than we did before.  We realize there is really no need to forgive anyone because what we have experienced is an illusion that we created that actually brought to a deeper healing.
    With all this said, I feel so happy to have had the people in my life that have been my teachers, some taught me my lessons through very painful relationships and experiences and others like my beloved Linda taught me through more love more understanding and more kindness.  And even though I will miss her physical presence I know she is one of the guiding stars that will forever be near guiding me and all of us who need her.  Thank you Linda for being my teacher, and thank you God for bringing us together.

Peggy Rivera O.M.C.

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Learning to Forgive Promotes Healing

Relationships are a very good place for opportunities for us to see where we need to heal our minds.  How often do we hear ourselves or our brothers complain about something someone else said or did to make us unhappy?  It is our thoughts that get out of control and when we believe our unhappiness is caused by some outside force we fall deeper and deeper into the perception we are alone and afraid and separate from our source.

If we listen to the voice of the ego, we have chosen fear and pain and sickness.  These are blocking us from the healing thoughts of our true nature.  I like to imagine having those two little beings on my shoulders, the devil (ego) on one side and an angel (Holy Spirit) on the other.  We have to choose which one to listen to on a regular basis.  In A Course in Miracles,(page451) in the Workbook for students, it says, “I can obscure my holy sight, if I intrude my world upon it. Nor can I behold the holy sights Christ looks upon unless it is His vision that I use.  Perception is a mirror not a fact.”

We always have the choice, that is our freedom.  Our call is to hear the Voice and share it.  To share makes it increase.

We use the body for communication.  We listen to the Voice for God and he guides us gently back to our wholeness.  It takes our focusing on hearing only that voice so that we can heal.  We heal through each other, we teach what we learn and we learn what we teach.  If we are listening to the Holy Spirits guidance we expand the Love and joy that promotes healing for all of us.  So when someone is really down in the depths of despair, we can see what they have forgotten the truth.  That is all we really need to do.  We do not judge, we support, we offer our unconditional love, kindness and prayer.

I am aware in my own mind that as I go to Holy Spirit whenever I have symptoms I receive flashes of insight in my mind.  For me it is a process that takes time.  I think sometimes healing takes time.  Healing is not something we rush through.  We all will heal, we focus on forgiveness of ourselves and each other.  I think that’s what I am being made aware of when I experience the flashes of images from my past, I am seeing the opportunity to see differently.  Forgiving the dream is essential for all healing.  I think it feels really wonderful to know that God has already forgiven us, we just have to accept that forgiveness for ourselves.  And to teach that to others so it can expand to more and more people everywhere, that way the whole is healed.

Rev. Peggy Rivera O.M.C.
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We say I love you all the time.  I love my children, I love my spouse, I love my friends.  We feel like we have lots of love to go around.  And for the most part I think we are sincere about that, but are we?  What is love really?

There are different kinds of love, at least on the earth plane.  The love we have for our siblings is different than the love we have for our friends.  The love we have for our spouse or lover is different than the love we have for our children or our parents etc.  We compare our love.  We feel people have to prove love.  We sometimes feel a shortage of love.  Well is this real love?

I think we can be sure that if what we are calling love has any demands, it isn’t real love, it is ego representation. I have seen people spend atrocious amounts of money on someone out of what they call love.

I know it is so hard to discern the difference when we feel so strongly about the subject of whom we are devoting all of our attention on.  But if you realize that real Love is not a verb but a state of being it feels a little easier to recognize.  You see when we put demands on love we are adding fear to the equation.  Because we think that if our demands are not met we experience a lack of love.  Just what the ego revels in.

In my healing process I recently had to search my own heart about this.  In my social circle someone spends a lot of money on someone that I love.  They go to Europe and many places of entertainment, they buy them expensive gifts.  Anything they wish to have is given to them.  I was so upset and I thought how I resented them because I thought it wasn’t fair or right.  I thought to myself that they are doing all of this for their own self-gratification and not out of love for this person.  I felt a lack of love.  I felt like I wasn’t enough, and totally unloved.
Then I took it to Holy Spirit; with guidance I realized that my belief system was different than there’s and my judgement was showing me where I needed to heal.  I forgot that we are Love.  That is what our true nature is so there is no lack of Love.  I realized that I was looking to the ego for justification, and it was so easy to fall into the trap of looking in the wrong place for guidance.  It’s true I may be right about their motives.  But even if that is the truth, judging them is not helpful.  Whenever we take an ego stance we will be disappointed in the outcome.
Holy Spirit made me aware of the fact that Love doesn’t have a price tag.  There is no shortage of Love, it is the air we breathe, and it is our inheritance.  We have no control over the choices others make.  We can see them in their wholeness and remember for them who they really are.  Love makes no judgement no demands, it just is.  Now that I have come to the truth I am free to share the Love that we are freely.  It is easier to Love without all the complications the ego would have imposed.  I am so thankful for my healing.

Rev. Peggy Rivera
Palm Bay, Fl.
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I Am Happy To Remember The Truth

    Today I feel so happy, because I realize that no matter how often I get distracted and focus on things of this world, God is always waiting with loving arms for me to find my way back.  Recently I was ill and I decided to have a surgical procedure to relieve the symptoms I was experiencing.  I prayed a lot about it because I was feeling fearful and was in a lot of pain.  In my mind I tried to analyze why I had these particular symptoms and in my haste the ego gave me plenty of information.  I asked Holy Spirit for guidance and I talked it over with my mind healing- partner.  I believe when we ask we receive and we have to listen for whatever form that help comes from and make sure it is Holy Spirit and not our own ego thoughts.  We talked about my guilt in getting medical help and it led into my guilt in having needs of my own.  Ever since I could remember I took care of everyone else but I didn’t feel like my time was worth much. I realized that this was self attack, we don’t allow ourselves to receive, then the percieved deficit causes us to feel resentment then guilt which we project and then we recycle those feelings over and over throughout our lives.  Until we realize the truth,  and that is what is making me feel so happy today.  The truth is that all of that is the illusion that we somehow are apart from our source.  And that we believed we could attack ourselves.  Today I am reminded that, “My Godlike mind can never be defiled, (text pg.99). The ego never was nor ever will be part of my Godlike mind but it does teach you what is not true.”  We are only Love and Love is stronger than any force anywhere. With the Holy Spirit I choose to believe what is true, I see the perfection in everyone including myself.  I don’t need to take care of everyone else from an ego stance because that would make them less than they are. That would mean that I am more powerful than they are. Instead I remember to see them as whole.  It doesn’t mean I don’t need to help others, what I am talking about is the perception in myself that I need to deny my own needs to take care of the needs of others.  Being helpful is not consuming.  When I start to feel overwhelmed I think that is when I really need to take it to Holy Spirit and see where there is a need in me. Then I am free to lovingly support my brothers and sisters in a way that is truly helpful for the whole.

Rev. Peggy Rivera OMC
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How Can We All Get Along

When we incarnate into this earthly existence it becomes our nature to fight with each other,  attack, discriminate and disregard those that we associate with every day? It isn’t uncommon to have a smile on our faces while under the mask we are seething. If we are all the, “Son Of God”, how can we be so cruel to each other?
From the time we are small children fighting with our siblings and throughout our lives with our classmates and then spouses and others we seem to have continuous strife with our brethren.  So why do we seem so compelled to continue to manifest war in our lives?
The Course in Miracles tells us that because we believe we separated from God, we believe we deserve to be punished. On page 84 of the text paragraph 3 it says, “The ego is the part of the mind that believes in division.  How could part of God detach itself without believing it is attacking Him? The ego believes that this is what you did because it believes it is you. If you identify with ego, you must perceive yourself as guilty.”
And the truth is the ego doesn’t want to acknowledge Gods Love for us.  To the ego Love means defeat and annihilation. On page 242 para. 2 it says, “Your fear of attack is nothing compared to your fear of Love. You would be willing to look even upon your savage wish to kill God’s Son, if you did not believe that it saves you from love.  For this wish caused the separation and you have protected it because you do not want the separation healed…..  For still deeper than the ego’s foundation and much stronger than it will ever be is your intense and burning Love for God, and His for you. This is what you really want to hide.”
We set ourselves up early on in life. By identifying with a tiny thought that we were separate and powerful on our own, then we began a journey of self-contempt, projection, and retaliation.  In this journey we lost ourselves, our true selves. The ego thinks itself is God It feels that love is weakness and hate is strength so when we identify any sign of weakness in your brother we attack to gain power for ourselves.
Lucky for us we are all safe in the mind of God; and he has left us a clear pathway back home.  Through our connection with Holy Spirit we are taught to see past the illusions that we created.
When we feel insulted by someone we can ask Holy Spirit what needs to be healed in our own mind.  So if I get in an argument with a neighbor or a friend felt I had insulted them, or if I get insulted for some reason that is an indication that there is something that needs to be healed in me.  So then I can take it to Holy Spirit for healing.
When we remember that in God there is nothing else we will realize there is no room for anything else but peace. The ego thought system is so terrified that it will be rendered helpless in the presence of God”, we believe that God’s Love would crush us, but in truth it will make us whole. I have learned there is no peace without the Love of God, because without God we are left to our own devises where hate and guilt and chaos reside.
In lesson 183 of the Workbook for Students it says “God’s name is Holy, but no more Holier than yours, to call upon His name is but to call upon your own.  A Father gives His name to his son and thus identifies His son with Him.  His brothers share His name and thus are united in a bond to which they turn for their identity.  Your Fathers name reminds you who you are, even in a world that does not know even though you have remembered it.”  Therefore, it is our job to see that in our brothers, we can remember it for them until they can remember for themselves. This is how we all begin to get along, holding the light for each other.  For me it is a daily walk, taking time in my day to remember not to judge anyone else, to accept them where ever they are on the path, we will all find our way home, God forgets no one, we all heal together.

Rev. Peggy Rivera O.M.C.
Palm Bay, Fl.
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