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July - September, 2009

I Accept My Father’s Gifts

by Rev. Mary Manke

I attended the “ON” workshop at Pathways of Light, Kiel. Holy Spirit was truly in charge of the weekend experience. 

In one process, we were shown a large tray covered with many small boxes, lovingly wrapped and ribboned. These represented God’s gifts to us. We were asked to take one, read the slip tucked under its ribbon, then return it to the tray, and write down our gift. Once everyone had their gift, we were to write what our life would be like if we completely accepted that gift.  My gift was trust. The following was what came to mind.

When I trust, I am filled with peace. With trust, there is no conflict in my thoughts. The valueless thoughts are recognized as the ego ploys/decoys to distract me. With trust, I need no defense. I remember that by myself I know nothing and with Holy Spirit I am given all that is appropriate and helpful and kind. With trust, I know I have exactly what I need when I need it. With trust, fear is impossible to keep. 

How would my life be?

With trust, life would not be struggle. My life would be without fear, without doubt. When I might notice another thought rising up to be healed, I would not push it away, for trust would give me the courage to look at that thought with Holy Spirit. I would remember that there is no loss with Holy Spirit. 

My life would be calm, not frantic with trying to anticipate what is needed “next.” Life would be seen as lessons and blessings in each experience. With trust, life is the experience of mind healing; one continuous blessing, miracle upon miracle, overflowing mind healing.

I would no longer have concern whether I am good enough/ worthy of all that is given to me. There would be no fear that I was guilty of some undefined “sin.” I would be free of the uncertainty of innocence in me and others. In trust I would recognize the godliness (holiness) in everything, no matter the form it takes.

How would I use the gift of trust?

I would share my healed mind, the blessing from Holy Spirit. I would see my brothers in their holiness (wholeness) and remember we are one. When I remember that my brother is one with me, there is no conflict, no difference, no fear. 

I learned that one gift is merely the symbol of All attributes of Love. When I totally, wholly accept one gift, it is the equivalent of accepting all God’s gifts. Accepting one gift completely is the remembrance that I remain as Love created me. I am thankful for this healing experience.

Rev. Mary Manke is a Pathways of Light minister who lives in Wautoma, Wisconsin. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways of Light web site.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July - September, 2009

Judgment and Self-Judgment — The Miracle of Reinterpretation

Nouk Sanchez and Tomas Vieira

When we began studying A Course in Miracles in 1990 we had a limited understanding of the nature of judgment and absolutely no idea just how destructive judgment was, regardless of the form it took. Despite the fact that the Course says there are no neutral thoughts, we would pass all sorts of judgments when watching TV, listening to the radio or observing passers by while having coffee. We just ‘tried’ not to judge the people we came into contact with and attempted to withdraw judgment when in conflict. We weren’t very peaceful then and we always felt threatened, but never put ‘two and two’ together. We didn’t realize just how insidious judgment was nor did we recognize then, the negative effects it had on us.

So, what is judgment? The ego uses judgment all the time. It’s the ego’s fuel because without judgment it could not survive. When we’re judging, we are making an unreal thought real in our minds. Every judgment is a belief we have that is uninvestigated, unchallenged. What occurs when you believe a thought? You don’t question it… in fact you justify and defend it. When you believe something, you will see your manufactured belief seemingly crystallize in front of you. Judgment is resisting ‘what is.’ It is a willful ego statement that something is wrong.

Most of us consistently, yet unknowingly use the ego’s judgment; just look at our daily concerns. Who doesn’t have concerns right now about their financial security, or perhaps, their health? Maybe we’re worried about our children’s education or state of mind. All these so called concerns are fears which are judgments (beliefs made real) in themselves.

We often make the mistake of thinking that judgment is limited exclusively to how we judge others. However its destructive element extends to all the judgments we make until we learn radical self inquiry and Quantum Forgiveness. The poison of judgment includes every belief (conscious and unconscious) that robs us of peace and we need to ask for the Holy Spirit’s help in this, because most of our judgments are made unconsciously. “He sees for you, and unless you look with Him, He cannot see.” (T-14.VII.6:1)

How do we know that we are making a judgment? Any feelings we have of “lack of peace” are an indicator that we’ve made a judgment; we’ve believed a thought. We cannot suffer if we question and withdraw our investment in the reality of our judgment. Anytime we experience suffering, pain, hurt, anger and resentment with people, self, things or circumstances, these are moments of judgment.

The Course urges us to forgive over and over; in fact forgiveness is the way Home. Yet many of us studying the Course and practicing forgiveness do not realize one very important point and that is: “Yet no one can forgive a sin that he believes is real.” (T-27.II.2:4) If you still believe that a past abuse or betrayal really did harm you and continues to have an effect, then it will be impossible to apply the Course’s forgiveness. Why? Because how in the world can you forgive something that you still believe (now) you suffered from?

“What you remember never was. It came from causelessness which you confused with cause. It can deserve but laughter, when you learn you have remembered consequences that were causeless and could never be effects. The miracle reminds you of a Cause forever present, perfectly untouched by time and interference.” (T-28.I.9:1-4)

“Only the past is held in memory as you make use of it, and so it is a way to hold the past against the now.” (T-28.1.6:7)

Anything that has ever seemed to happen was but an illusion. Memory is used by the ego to separate and hold grievances against God and is only valuable to the degree we ask Holy Spirit to reinterpret it for us in the awakening process. There are never any victims or victimizers and to take offense is the exact same mistake, as is to give offense.

Self-Judgment

One of the most prolific forms of judgment that seems to plague us particularly as we study the Course is self-judgment. The ego is perpetually judging outside and we’re being asked to apply the Holy Spirit’s forgiveness to it all. What many of us do when we catch ourselves judging is to turn inward and continue the ego’s judgment by judging ourselves for making the judgment. This is insane! The ego thrives on judgment, no matter what it judges. Judging yourself or another amounts to the identical illusion… a way to keep you from the peace of Holy Spirit. “… as blame is withdrawn from without, there is a strong tendency to harbor it within. It is difficult at first to realize that this is exactly the same thing, for there is no distinction between within and without.” (T.11.IV.4-6)

The Course’s objective is not to cease making judgments on self and others. It is to learn not to judge ourselves for judging! In other words, if you judge yourself and realize this, then do not compound (make more real) the insanity by judging yourself for judging.

When tempted to judge another, yourself or a situation; whenever your peace is threatened…

1. Stop and Recognize! First recognize your lack of peace in this moment. The source is always the ego; your own split mind and never something or someone outside you. This is the signal to stop and recognize. Simply “observe” that you made a judgment. Do not judge again. Recognize that it could only be ego judging itself. And never judge a self judgment as it seeks only to make it real. Recognize your emotional charge, ie: anger, frustration, physical discomfort, etc. Rather than suppress it, just recognize it.

2. Look! Now look with Holy Spirit. This is where the real healing takes place; it’s in the looking without judgment. The miracle occurs in an instant when we courageously look without judgment. In this now instant, the Holy Instant, the ego disappears,
being the block to the awareness of Love’s presence, leaving Spirit to reinterpret the present and past; undoing all effects of our illusion. Every present moment of conflict that is reinterpreted by Holy Spirit undoes a chunk of our perception of past trauma. There is no need to rehash or revisit the past. All present suffering is caused by our conscious or unconscious past revisited and re-presented in another form by the ego. Allowing an instant of non-judgment weakens the ego’s investment in the reality of the judgment thus weakening its affect in you.

3. Release! Let it go. Say this: “I accept the Atonement for myself,” which means you are accepting the correction of error in your perception in that instant. If judgment or self-judgment arises again… If fear, guilt, shame and more judgment appear? Remember the purpose of the ego’s judgment is to separate you. That’s its goal of course, but it does help to remind ourselves consciously of this fact every time we catch ourselves judging.

The Cost of Judgment

What is the cost of judgment in your life? What are the costs concerning your health, happiness, joy and sense of abundance? Un-relinquished judgments cost you the peace of God. Do you want to be right or happy? What do you want more than the remembrance of Who you are in truth? The first judgment we ever made was to prefer separation over Oneness or fear over love.  We really cannot judge in truth. All that we can do is to choose, that is to choose to be right-minded. “You have often been urged to refrain from judging, not because it is a right to be withheld from you. You cannot judge. You merely can believe the ego’s judgments, all of which are false.” (W-pl.151.4:2-4)

Your job right now is this: to offer your willingness to let Holy Spirit reinterpret the past fully. This is done, not by consciously reentering past trauma, but by being vigilant every present moment that you feel threat; moments where you feel inadequate, fearful, resentful or physical pain, etc. Your job is to be the impartial “observer” of whatever feelings and memories surface and to be present with Spirit. This means that you are to watch without further judgment. When you decide to be the non-judgmental witness only, watching uncomfortable feelings arise… you leave a miraculous gap. In this “gap” the ego disappears! In this gap Spirit is revealed and the miracle of reinterpretation occurs. You don’t have to know how or when. All you need is the little willingness to be present and to allow that instant of non-judgment; to allow the suspension of doubt. Love is Who you are. Trust that the Holy Spirit is right there with you waiting patiently for you to allow Him to reveal the absolute and invulnerable security that lay at your core. All you’re asked for is a little willingness….

About the Authors: Nouk Sanchez and Tomas Vieira are the authors of best-seller Take Me to Truth, Undoing the Ego. Initiated by A Course in Miracles, their seventeen year Spiritual Awakening journey led to the almost total deconstruction of their lives and belief systems before emerging from the process together. Their uniquely dynamic family experience of learning the Course, as a couple, and then with their daughter, is quite unprecedented. No amount of theory can hold a candle to experience. Amidst much lightness and laughter, these authors share a profound dedication to learning and living the Course, without one iota of compromise to its principles. Please visit http://www.takemetotruth.com.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July - September, 2009

Healing My Inner Child

by Jack Hartog

“Classes? I don’t need no stinking classes,” I pronounced in my best mock-Mexican bandido accent. My Pathways of Light Reverend wife, Johannys, had just proposed that I participate in Pathways’ “Healing the Inner Child” class that she was about to facilitate in our home. I was only half-joking.

When I graduated law school, many, many years ago, I vowed that the only classes I would take were those that were either required to keep my license to practice law or that everyone had to take because hell had frozen over. I just have never been a “go to class and listen to a lecture” type person. You know my type: I was the kind of grade school student that the teacher made sit in the front of the class to maximize the chances of preventing mischief. While I do gladly sit through church services, I go more for the music and fellowship than for the sermons, being reassured that they usually last only 20 minutes or so, which falls well within my self-declared and admittedly immature threshold for sitting in a chair and pretending to pay attention.

“But you’ll like it,” my wife, the Reverend, implored, “…its participatory, and there’s meditations, and you’ll get a lot out of it – and there are no lectures.” With this clarification, and knowing that trying to get out of this class was as unlikely as getting out of my regular chore of taking out the garbage, I faced my fate and said simply what all happily married men use as a survival skill in moments like this: “Whatever you want, my love.” (She is originally Spanish-speaking, so I said this in Spanish, because it was the first phrase I ever learned in Spanish, taught to me by my best friend when I started to date Latin women, as the only Spanish I really needed to be able to say to women: “Lo que tu quieras, mi amor.” It is a running joke in our relationship. )

In truth, I knew I really wanted to do the class. I had heard so much good testimony about the curriculum, and I was aware that I had some issues that needed attention. And my wife is a spectacular facilitator.

So, a few weeks later, there I was, being a well-behaved student, sitting in a circle, and doing a meditation, trying to get in touch with my “inner child.”

Now, you have to understand, I have tended to be the analytical, left brain over-thinking-everything kind of person. I am intellectually skeptical, naturally contrarian, and innately untrusting — in short, typically male. With years of practice, however, I have learned to put aside certain childish things and have become able to still my rambling and rambunctious mind to get in touch with the Infinite. But I am not the type that can mentally dance through heavenly fields, hear angels sing, taste rainbows or converse with Jesus. I do get inner knowings, but not glorious inner recreations of experiences of the five senses that impart a sense of our ethereal origin. So when I was told during the meditation that I was now walking mentally down a path in a fantasy woods to meet my imaginary inner child in some phantasmagorical surrounding, my inward reaction was a sincere and heart-felt, “Are you kidding?”

I fully believed in the viewpoint of the Healing the Inner Child Course: the present tapes we run in our minds stem from the miscreations of our childhood, and that by learning we have them, witnessing them and releasing them to the nothingness from which they came, we can heal ourselves. Our egos are developed unknowingly and unconsciously when we are young, so any process that brings their origins to our consciousness and facilitates their release is very emotionally, psychologically and, of course, spiritually rewarding.

But I don’t have visions. I don’t follow guided meditations that tell me what to experience. I simply don’t do this kind of thing. Please read the “I” in these two prior sentences as heavily underscored, said with very almost supercilious emphasis and dripping in cynicism. Not me. Oh no. I am the hard-nosed, critical-thinking lawyer. I am not Mr. Granola. I do not do New Age kinds of things.

So you can imagine my surprise when during my meditation, I really did experience meeting my “inner child.” Wow. In addition to seeing him plain as day, the setting was equally unmistakable: it was a 50-50 mix (kind of an overlay) of a Disney Bambi in the woods drawing and a real pine forest from camp where I had chased frogs, gathered firewood for campfires, played mumbletypeg and avoided mosquitoes almost big enough to put advertising on their wings. It was an awesome place.

My inner child, however, was not happy, despite the bucolic setting. The meditation lovingly said that, after we reassured our inner child, we should envision our Higher Self as someone with whom our inner child would be comfortable and then invite our Higher Self to join us. Just as my ego started laughing at the thought of me putting the Divine into physical form… Bang! the thought hit me… When I was young, I used to read, really devour, baseball books. My hero was Babe Ruth — the Babe Ruth in the first Babe Ruth movie: bigger than life, a grown up fun-loving child with such incredible baseball skills that he could down a mountain of hotdogs (with chasers of beers and whiskey, as I learned when I grew older) and within hours go out and break home run records.

So why not bring my inner child to meet the Babe as my Higher Self? To my shock, upon this imagining, I heard, really heard, my inner child exclaim and inquire simultaneously, “Babe Ruth, you are on my team?” He smiled, the big grin I associated with him, all heartfelt and warm. My inner child just lighted up, and all the joy of my youth came flooding back to me. “You are on my team!” My inner child simply melted in the Babe’s warmth and genuine affection.

Meanwhile, a part of me is thinking, “Wow. Am I really having this kind of experience? Wow!”

And then the thought occurred to the adult in me, “I am on Babe Ruth’s team!” I am on the team of greatness and infinite possibilities. I am teamed with joy and fun and big thoughts and big dreams, all the qualities as I child I had placed in all my heroes. I knew, because I had just fully experienced it, that both my inner child and I have all the love we need always accessible in my mind and heart.

Classes? I really did need this class. Thank you Pathways of Light…

Jack Hartog is a Pathways of Light member and student of A Course in Miracles who lives in Miami, Florida.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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July - September, 2009

Healing Through Forgiveness

by Rev. Diane Bucaro, M.S.W.

Two Healings around forgiving a partner of six years:

I had been living with a doctor in Mexico on and off for six years. Six times I left him and went to live elsewhere and all for the same reason—he just had too many other things going on in his life and I didn’t feel ‘special.’ Five times he brought me back and we got got back together. The sixth time he didn’t.

Now it was my turn to go through all the emotions of being rejected and abandoned. However, I felt justified that I didn’t leave because I didn’t love him, but because he didn’t love me enough. Conventional forgiveness would say that I have to forgive him because he is doing to me now what I did to him five times. We are both guilty of the same thing and I am projecting my angry feelings at him to relieve my guilt. At one level, this was absolutely true, however it didn’t give me any relief.

In desperation I decided to apply ACIM forgiveness and was: 1. Willing to look at the cluster of ideas/beliefs/perceptions around this situation;  2. willing to see things differently, and 3. asked the Holy Spirit to give me a new perception.

The next morning as I continued to read Robert Perry’s Return to the Heart of God, chapter 14 on special relationships jumped out at me, especially the words ‘unmerited, undeserved, and unconditional.’

What I found out was I wasn’t upset at X for not loving me. I was upset because I failed to love him the way God loves us. After this, the hateful, angry feelings left.

The second healing occured about a week later when I got to thinking about giving our relationship one more chance and asked X if I could return home (his home).

He said no, and of course this brought up sad feelings. However this time I didn’t dwell on them, knowing that this was not the real reason for my upset. I again requested a new perception and this is what I got: I was like the prodigal son and even though X did not welcome me back with ‘a fatted calf, rings and robes,’ our Heavely Father does.

I now see the real reason for this relationship — nothing has gotten me closer to undoing the ego system by practicing Course based forgiveness.

Rev. Diane Bucaro is a Pathways of Light minister currently living in Mexico.

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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