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Study of the Text 8-13-13

IV. This Need Not Be, Paragraph 10
8-13-13
10 The First Coming of Christ is merely another name for the creation, for Christ is the Son of God. The Second Coming of Christ means nothing more than the end of the ego’s rule and the healing of the mind. I was created like you in the First, and I have called you to join me in the Second. I am in charge of the Second Coming, and my judgment, which is used only for protection, cannot be wrong because it never attacks. Yours may be so distorted that you believe I was mistaken in choosing you. I assure you this is a mistake of your ego. Do not mistake it for humility. Your ego is trying to convince you that it is real and I am not, because if I am real, I am no more real than you are. That knowledge, and I assure you that it is knowledge, means that Christ has come into your mind and healed it.

I cried when I read the last sentence. Christ has come into my mind and healed it. It is done and I am healed. So what am I waiting for? Why do I still listen to the ego when it tells me how small and weak and vulnerable I am? The ego stands up and preaches fear and guilt and I just sit there in my wretchedness saying, “Amen, brother!” But I am healed and it is time to walk out on the ego’s sermon of misery.

I have, actually, walked out on the ego any number of times, but once in awhile I become mesmerized by its litany of judgments and suddenly I am right back there in its thrall until I again break free. All I have to do to be free is to want to be free, and the only thing keeping me bound to ego is my fear of freedom. The ego spins some story or another and for awhile I think that the answer to my problem is in the story, but eventually I always remember that there is only one problem appearing as many, and there is only one answer. My problem is that I have forgotten who I am and the answer is the Holy Spirit in my mind.

Jesus has not forgotten who I am and he has called me forward to take my place among his teachers. The ego, of course, is having a hissy fit about this. It keeps trying to bring me back into its fold with reminders of my many sins, and with dire warnings about lack of humility. Who am I to imagine I am a teacher for God? Who am I to imagine I stand side by side with Jesus? And yet, Jesus says he chose me and that he does not choose his helpers wrongly.

Just a very short time ago I would have cowered under the ego’s attack. I would have been willing to continue my practices and to commit to “someday” being ready, and the ego would have been there smirking at me as it pretended to go along with the plan knowing that someday would never come. But those days are over. I still practice, but I do so with conviction and passion.

I know who I am even as I act as if I am still an ego. I may be removing my costume a layer at a time, but I am removing it. I am stepping up and I am saying yes. Every morning now I am stopping for a moment to renew my commitment by saying yes, and by spending a few moments allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me. I don’t know what He is doing as I sit there, but I trust it is an essential part of the Second Coming.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 8-12-13

IV. This Need Not Be, Paragraph 9I
8-12-13
9 You are a mirror of truth, in which God Himself shines in perfect light. To the ego’s dark glass you need but say, “I will not look there because I know these images are not true.” Then let the Holy One shine on you in peace, knowing that this and only this must be. His Mind shone on you in your creation and brought your mind into being. His Mind still shines on you and must shine through you. Your ego cannot prevent Him from shining on you, but it can prevent you from letting Him shine through you.

I am so grateful to know that I am a mirror of God’s perfect light. I have been aware for awhile that everyone and everything my eyes show me is a reflection of what I believe about myself. But it is not the truth of what I am, only the ego’s dark dream of itself. If I am actually a mirrored image of God, what I see can only be an illusion born of idle wishes to experience something else. I am not that.

What does the ego’s dark glass show me? I see my brother or sister as guilty. How could this be? God created them innocent and what He creates is certain and never changing. When I see guilt in my brother or my sister I know this could not be true. Then I sit in peace and allow the Holy Spirit to shine on me and the darkness is gone. I see my brother and sister as they truly are.

When I seem to be in pain, or someone else I know seems to be in pain, I am looking at the ego’s dark glass and I can change my mind knowing that this could not be true. Pain is not part of God and so it cannot be. Let me sit in peace and allow the Light to shine away this dark vision. I feel rejected and abandoned. I know this cannot be a true reflection so I ask that the Light of God shine away the darkness. Rejection and abandonment are reflections from a sick mind, and I gladly accept healing from the Holy Spirit.

God’s Mind shone on me in my creation and brought my mind into being. If God’s Mind shone on mine then it must still shine on my mind because God does not take back His gifts. Everything in our world is unreliable, unpredictable, and unstable and so we have trouble envisioning something that does not vary. We have nothing with which to relate it. What in this world can we depend on? Even the earth itself is heading toward its own annihilation. But God is and that will never change. What God creates remains as it was created.

Because God created us like Himself, we are free and so while we cannot undo creation, and so we cannot prevent God from shining on us, we are free to deny it. When we deny the light we are unaware of what it would show us. This is the reason I can pretend to feel something God did not create and then convince myself that it is really happening.

My denial blocks the light that reveals the truth, and heals the mind that has blinded itself. But since I am the one who chose to be unaware of the perfect light that never ceases to shine on me, I am also free to change my mind. I do this by looking away from the dark reflection, refusing to believe it in spite of appearances. I look away from what I have done, and toward what God has done.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 8-9-13

IV. This Need Not Be, Paragraph 8
8-9-13
8 Have you really considered how many opportunities you have had to gladden yourself, and how many of them you have refused? There is no limit to the power of a Son of God, but he can limit the expression of his power as much as he chooses. Your mind and mine can unite in shining your ego away, releasing the strength of God into everything you think and do. Do not settle for anything less than this, and refuse to accept anything but this as your goal. Watch your mind carefully for any beliefs that hinder its accomplishment, and step away from them. Judge how well you have done this by your own feelings, for this is the one right use of judgment. Judgment, like any other defense, can be used to attack or protect; to hurt or to heal. The ego should be brought to judgment and found wanting there. Without your own allegiance, protection and love, the ego cannot exist. Let it be judged truly and you must withdraw allegiance, protection and love from it.

“Your mind and mine can unite in shining your ego away, releasing the strength of God into everything you think and do.” This is my job, my purpose, my goal. This is what I do all day, every day. I am alert for the ego thinking and am willing to step away from it when I notice it. Often it is my emotions that let me know I am thinking with the ego mind rather than with God. Jesus says that judging how well I am doing in my vigilance is the right use of judgment.

Last night I had an opportunity to do this. I was part of a group text with my girls and one of them said something that triggered a reaction in me. It seemed to me she was being critical and unkind, and her comment felt like a knife piercing my heart. I felt angry and hurt. At the same time I felt these emotions, an “ego alert” went through my mind and so as I was experiencing these feelings, I also watched my thoughts.

I questioned my reaction. My daughter seemed to be deliberately rude and unkind. Is that true? I don’t know but it seems unlikely since normally she seems to love me. Maybe she was simply expressing herself in the same way she does to other people. Maybe sarcasm and sharply pointed words are just her way of making a point. Actually, I think these things are true about her, and I think maybe I had touched on something that triggers fear in her and she doesn’t like it so she tries to shut it down quickly and completely. It is not about me, but about her.

So why is it that I reacted so strongly to her comments? I didn’t know and had to ask the Holy Spirit what He wanted me to see. Suddenly I remembered that I used to do this to my mom. Also, I remembered how I thought I knew so much more than her when I was younger and I often spoke to her disrespectfully and unkindly. Two things were being triggered by my daughter’s comments to me.

One was the guilt I obviously still carried concerning my mother. I let that guilt come up and had a good cry. Such strong emotion! I could have sworn I had forgiven all that, but there it was, undeniable in its strength of emotion. I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief in guilt. This is how we shine the ego away.

The second thing that was triggered was a result of the guilt I felt about my behavior to my mom. I was always afraid that my kids felt the same contempt for me that I had sometimes felt for my mom. This was why I had such a visceral reaction to my daughter’s comments. I was afraid I was guilty and deserving of punishment, and my daughter’s words seemed to prove I was right. This fear is very strong in me. When my kids treat me with the love and respect that I don’t believe I deserve I am at the least, surprised, and sometimes even suspicious.

Once the Holy Spirit helped me to look honestly at my feelings and my thoughts I asked Him to help me see differently. I had wanted to change the way my daughter speaks to me but now with the Holy Spirit joining with me I felt the strength of that joining and right minded thoughts came to me. The solution to my problem was not going to be in blaming my daughter or changing her mind. The solution was to forgive myself and to accept the truth that I am that I am, and that does not change according to someone else’s judgment of me, or even my own judgment. I can choose to feel bad about myself, but I remain forever innocent.

After giving myself time to accept God’s judgment of me, I was able to see my daughter differently. I was able to see her need for me to be different with compassionate understanding. Didn’t I just go through the same thing with her? I had wanted to make her see me differently, or at least to talk about me behind my back where I wouldn’t have to look at my own fears and guilt. It always amazes me that simply forgiving something takes all the sting out of it. Suddenly hurtful words are just words.

Last night I withdrew my allegiance and my protection from the ego. I accomplished my one goal. I did this because I have learned to be vigilant for the ego, and I have carefully nurtured my willingness to be healed. I gladly joined with the Holy Spirit for this purpose and together our strength overcame the part of me that was still attached to the story and the ego thinking in this situation. I am grateful.

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Study of the Text 8-8-13

IV. This Need Not Be, Paragraph
8-9-13

7 The habit of engaging with God and His creations is easily made if you actively refuse to let your mind slip away. The problem is not one of concentration; it is the belief that no one, including yourself, is worth consistent effort. Side with me consistently against this deception, and do not permit this shabby belief to pull you back. The disheartened are useless to themselves and to me, but only the ego can be disheartened.

I remember what it feels like to be disheartened, and I remember it because occasionally my mind goes back to that state. I have a hard time letting go of some grievance, and after trying a few times and failing I begin to feel disheartened. I begin to feel like I can’t do this and there is a part of mind, familiar with this feeling, that says its no use. This is the part of my mind that used to believe I wasn’t worth the trouble.

I approached a customer about buying a new product that he needs for his water system and I am pretty sure that I failed to explain myself clearly. I sense that I did not gain his confidence and that he may not buy it or may buy it from someone else who inspires his confidence. Every time I think about this I feel guilty and fearful. I did not do a good job for my company or my customer. I feel like I have been doing this job for a long time now, and I should not have made this error. I feel bad about myself.

I knew that I was not thinking clearly and that my thinking was not in alignment with God’s Will. I knew this from the very beginning, but knowing this didn’t seem to help me let go of the thought that I was guilty for my failure. I have tried and failed to forgive myself. I feel like I have failed both as a sales person and as a spiritual student. This morning, I noticed the feeling is still popping up, but I noticed two other things.

I noticed that while I feel frustrated, and while the ego wants me to feel disheartened, and to give up, that is not happening. Instead, I am following those feelings and noticing the thoughts that create them. In so doing, I have realized that I became confused about what I was forgiving. The fact is that I might have failed to do my job in the way I thought I should. That is the only fact in this story and I am not sure that it is true. It is too early to tell.

Everything else about the story is something I made up. It is the ego interpretation of what the situation means. The ego says that if I did fail to make the sale it means I am unworthy and guilty. This interpretation is not in alignment with the Will of God. And it is this interpretation that I forgive. I accept the Atonement instead. I allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief that convincing my customer to buy from me is what makes me worthy and failing to do this makes me unworthy.

The same is true about the feeling that taking days to come to this conclusion makes me an unworthy student of the Course. If it took me the rest of my life to let this go and accept the truth in its place, my reality would remain unaffected by that. I would still be innocent. I would still be exactly as God created me. In other words, and this is the second thing I realized, only the ego can feel disheartened and I am not the ego.

I stand outside these feelings that come and go and are based on mistaken beliefs, and am untouched by them. I see that the ego is disheartened and I realize that there are beliefs in the mind that need to be healed, but I also see that I am not the ego and I have nothing to fear because I belong to God. As my mind clears of its confusion, I am filled with gratitude. I am grateful I stuck with it and did not allow myself to succumb to the ego desire to give up. I am grateful for the clarity. I am grateful to let this craziness be undone for me and for all of us.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 8-7-13

IV. This Need Not Be, Paragraph 6
8-7-13
6 Watch your mind for the temptations of the ego, and do not be deceived by it. It offers you nothing. When you have given up this voluntary dis-spiriting, you will see how your mind can focus and rise above fatigue and heal. Yet you are not sufficiently vigilant against the demands of the ego to disengage yourself. This need not be.

Over time I have been vigilant for the ego beliefs I still hold in my mind, and I am becoming more and more willing to let them go realizing they cannot be true. This has been quite a job! I keep finding layers and layers of belief. For instance, I have learned that I can do this writing in the mornings without worrying about the time. Jesus said he will take care of time for me and so I allow him to do so. It is such a relief not to be constantly watching the clock and worrying about time. The ego keeps trying to drag me back into the fear of time passing too quickly, but I remind myself that Jesus has got this.

Recently, I was worried about time because I was moving too slowly getting ready for work, getting distracted by things, many unimportant. I had the thought that I could give time to Jesus in this case as well, but didn’t do it. I felt that gentle tap on my shoulder and stopped to question my decision. Why not give all my time to Jesus and trust that it will be manipulated to my advantage?

As I watched my mind I saw that I felt like it would be wrong, because I could take care of this by myself if I just tried. I felt like I didn’t deserve help because I was goofing off. I felt like I deserved help while doing my writing because the work itself made me worthy. I questioned these thoughts and opened my mind to the Holy Spirit. He reminded me that I am not worthy because I do something and I am not unworthy because I do something else.

He asked me to imagine a world where I drifted through life without concern because I knew I belonged to God. I try to imagine that. I try to see myself looking at the clock and instead of being afraid, simply knowing that everything will work perfectly for me, not because I did something to deserve it, but because it is God’s Will that I be perfectly protected at all times. Could it be that I never have anything to fear unless I choose to believe in fear? Truly, am I volunteering to live in fear?

Living by the ego’s dictates is dispiriting. It wears me out and leaves me limp and listless at the end of the day, and that end comes earlier and earlier. I am willing to know that this need not be. As I wrote this the Holy Spirit spoke to me about another layer I had missed.

Holy Spirit: Dear one, you have heard Me when I spoke to you about fatigue and its cause. You understand that you become tired, not because the body wears out or because of lack of sleep, but because the mind engaged with ego beliefs and fears drains you of joy and robs you of peace. You have been very vigilant for the many opportunities to see this in your life, and you have taken advantage of these opportunities to let go of many of these beliefs.

What you have not seen is that you still believe that the failure to do this perfectly means you must accept the consequences of being dispirited and fatigued. This is not so. Could it ever be the Will of your Father that you suffer? You have glimpsed what I am saying to you, because you have asked me to help you see this differently, but then you allow the ego to persuade you to guilt and fall back into exhaustion. You but do this to yourself, my friend.

Let me tell you clearly, this need not be. When your day begins to wind down and you start to feel tiredness and discouragement in your mind, ask Me to intervene. I will undo this feeling for you if that is your choice. Already you have begun to see this differently and now you sometimes make a deliberate choice to focus on gratitude instead of fear and guilt.

Listen closely to what I say to you right now. You can do this every time. You can choose healing, gratitude, and joy every single day. At no time is it necessary that you indulge the ego and fall listlessly into your chair or enter sleep in a discouraged state. Joy is not something you earn. It is your right and nothing you do or fail to do can strip you of that right. Joy is yours simply for the asking. Ask Me to heal your mind when you think otherwise. It is My delight to do so.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 8-6-13

IV. This Need Not Be Paragraph 5
8-6-13

5 When you feel guilty, remember that the ego has indeed violated the laws of God, but you have not. Leave the “sins” of the ego to me. That is what Atonement is for. But until you change your mind about those whom your ego has hurt, the Atonement cannot release you. While you feel guilty your ego is in command, because only the ego can experience guilt. This need not be.

Earlier in the Text, Jesus said that I could entrust my ego to him, and now he is telling me to leave the “sins” of the ego to him. This is why he made the Atonement, to wipe out the sins of the ego. I’m reminded of when I was Catholic and every week I would go to confession. The idea of confession is that you tell the priest what you did wrong, he gives you a little punishment to Atone for your wrong doing, and after its complete you leave knowing you are alright with God again.

The Atonement process is a little different though. I tell the Holy Spirit what it is that I think I did wrong and He tells me nothing happened and that I am still innocent. As I become open to forgiveness without blame, guilt or punishment, and as I begin to truly want to change my mind about this, it is done.

I’ll make a little confession now. I hated going to confession. Even though they were relatively minor in nature, I dreaded laying out all my sins to the priest. I hated being judged and I felt small and sinful every time. I felt so much relief at it being over that I gladly did my penance, and I did feel some relief to know that I was once again sinless. The priest always ended the session with the words, “Go and sin no more,” and I felt guilty because I knew I would sin again, and hopeless because I would never live up to that admonition. I felt like a fraud accepting my forgiveness.

That is where the Atonement is different. I am not going to the Holy Spirit with a behavior and telling Him I am sorry I did it and want to be forgiven for my sin. I am talking to Him about my behavior and asking Him to show me what it is I believe that caused me to act like that. Then I am asking Him to correct my thinking and heal my mind so that the incorrect thought will no longer inform my behavior.

The Holy Spirit offers me the healing I want. If I want the grievance more than I want to be at peace, more than I want to awaken, that desire creates a block that prevents the correction from taking place. If I don’t really want the healing yet, it waits for me until I change my mind. There is no sense of being judged and there is no penance because I was already innocent when I called on His help. The ego does sin, but I am not the ego and that is what I am ultimately learning through this healing process. That is why the Atonement doesn’t correct behavior but heals the mind that thinks it is that behavior.

The Holy Spirit is not wiping out my sins, He is wiping out the belief I could sin. I cannot accept this correction if I am attached to my grievance. As long as I still project onto the one I have a grievance against, the Holy Spirit cannot show me I am guiltless. My desire to make the other guilty holds the belief in guilt in place and keeps me from believing in the truth of innocence. As long as I feel guilty I know that I have not accepted the Atonement, but I also know that it is mine when I am ready for it.

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Study of the Text 8-5-13

IV. This Need Not Be Paragraphs 3,4
8-5-13
3 When you are sad, know this need not be. Depression comes from a sense of being deprived of something you want and do not have. Remember that you are deprived of nothing except by your own decisions, and then decide otherwise.

I used to be depressed pretty much all the time, but A Course in Miracles changed that for me. The more I practiced the Course the less I experienced depression until one day I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I was depressed. Once in a while I will suddenly feel sad or mentally tired, but when I do I realize that I have made a choice for sadness and I ask for help.

Here is what I discovered about sadness. I don’t get rid of it by trying to not think sad thoughts. I get rid of it by realizing that I am deliberately choosing to think sad thoughts and then asking the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief that those thoughts could be true. The result is often immediate, and if it is not I know that I still find some value in my belief and I ask for clarity.

In every case I see that I feel deprived. I think I need something I don’t have. For instance, maybe I feel lonely and think I need someone to be with me. I am one with all there is. How could I feel alone? Alone is a word, a state of being, a feeling that I made up. It is not possible for me to be alone. To feel alone requires that I suspend reality. Loneliness is not something that just happens to me, it requires my active participation. In order to feel lonely, I must decide to feel lonely and then I must be vigilant against the truth in order to have that experience.

All that is required to stop feeling lonely is to no longer want that feeling. Having made that choice a number of times I am very familiar with the process and something I noticed is that the more I do it the more aware I am of the any resistance to letting it go. I have seen my mind argue for the loneliness. Now that I have seen my resistance I understand that I did, after all, make the choice for sadness. Once seen, it is easier to choose differently.

4 When you are anxious, realize that anxiety comes from the capriciousness of the ego, and know this need not be. You can be as vigilant against the ego’s dictates as for them.

Anxiety is a choice I still make, and more often than I do for sadness. But like sadness, anxiety requires my full cooperation. First I have to leave the present. Anxiety occurs when mentally I am in the past or in the future. If I am thinking about the past I go over my old stories and try to rewrite them. It is like the past wasn’t bad enough the first time and I have to go back and relive it. It’s like self-torture. This could only happen because I want it to.

When I dwell mentally in the future I imagine possible stories that I could write. It seems they all lead to anxiety, even when they start off as pleasant stories. For instance, I used to fantasize about winning the lottery and imagine what I would do with all that money. Inevitably I would run into trouble in my stories. I would become anxious about how I would divide it up and what if I squandered it or what if my wealth changed my relationships with my family. There was often an uncomfortable element to those fantasies.

I have a workshop to present in Arkansas later this month. Sometimes when I think about the workshop I feel anxious. What if I don’t do a good job? What if something goes wrong? The ego mind starts thinking of ways to prevent disaster. I should stop what I am doing and make plans, prepare talks, whatever it can think of to fix this problem. In actuality there is no problem, but if I stay with the ego thinking, I will believe in the problem and will be very uncomfortable no matter what I decide to do.

The ego mind is always going to create stories that bring us discomfort because its stories are always about separation so they are based on fear and fueled by guilt. But they are all just stories. Nothing is happening. Yet the ego cannot let the mind be still because it is afraid that in the stillness we will discover the truth about the ego and make that final choice for reality. So it keeps the stories coming. When I notice that I am feeling anxiety, I do the same thing I have done for sadness. I realize that I am choosing anxiety and make another choice. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the beliefs that are driving the anxiety.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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