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Manual for Teachers, Introduction, P 1. 9-12-17

Introduction, P 1

1 The role of teaching and learning is actually reversed in the thinking of the world. The reversal is characteristic. It seems as if the teacher and the learner are separated, the teacher giving something to the learner rather than to himself. Further, the act of teaching is regarded as a special activity, in which one engages only a relatively small proportion of one’s time. The course, on the other hand, emphasizes that to teach is to learn, so that teacher and learner are the same. It also emphasizes that teaching is a constant process; it goes on every moment of the day, and continues into sleeping thoughts as well.

Journal
It is so typical that everything in the world that I think I understand I have backward. I used to think that I was afraid because something happened to me. Then, I learned I had it all turned around. Here is what was really going on. Something happened to me because I had fear in my mind. This fear is then projected outward where I would see its effects. Using what my eyes showed me I would convince myself that it just happened to me rather than acknowledging that I did it to myself. I know better now.

Jesus says I have had teaching and learning backward, too. I used to think that I knew something. Then I would teach that something to someone. Then I would stop teaching and go on my way, doing something else. But what actually happens is this. I teach something to someone and as I do so, I am learning what I teach. I noticed this is accelerated if I teach what is coming through me rather than using my thinking mind.

And when I am through teaching… oh, wait, I am never through teaching. I teach continuously. I cannot stop teaching and, therefore, I never stop learning. My only choice is what I teach. If I teach from love, I learn love, and if I teach from fear, that is what I learn. It never stops. Even while I sleep, I teach and learn. That’s why I ask the Holy Spirit to help me Awaken while I sleep.

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Study of Text, C 15: The Two Uses of Time, P 6, 9-11-17

I. The Two Uses of Time, P 6
6 How bleak and despairing is the ego’s use of time! And how terrifying! For underneath its fanatical insistence that the past and future be the same is hidden a far more insidious threat to peace. The ego does not advertise its final threat, for it would have its worshippers still believe that it can offer them escape. But the belief in guilt must lead to the belief in hell, and always does. The only way in which the ego allows the fear of hell to be experienced is to bring hell here, but always as a foretaste of the future. For no one who considers himself as deserving of hell can believe that punishment will end in peace.

Journal
We are being shown the two uses for time and the differences between the ego’s use of time and the Holy Spirit’s use of time could not be more apparent. The ego uses time to kill us without killing itself, and it does this by following us into death offering more guilt and punishment. No wonder I was so ready to give up the idea of hell. As soon as I found a spiritual teaching leading away from this belief, I got on that train.

It was a little harder for me to give up guilt. Ha ha. Let me rephrase that. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, actually. If it were easy, A Course in Miracles would be a very slim volume. Finally, however, I realized that guilt is hell and so if I want to give up hell altogether, the belief in guilt had to go. I’m still shedding some of that belief. Like the proverbial onion metaphor, I have peeled away a lot of it, and am near the core.

The ego tries to convince us that death is salvation. Since it plans to follow us into death it is ok with the ego if we die. I used to think that if I could just get through this life, I would die and then wake up. I don’t know what made me believe that. I suppose it is because I asked the ego what awakening was and that is what I was told. I understand now that it is here that we wake up and then we are in Heaven. No further travel needed.

That is the way the Holy Spirit has used time. I give Him my time and He helps me by removing the untrue thoughts in my mind, as I am ready to give them up. It used to be very crowded in there, full of useless junk, but now so much has been removed that I am seeing some light. I have begun to welcome all experience, even the ones that still feel painful, knowing that the Holy Spirit will use time wisely to undo that feeling for me. Heaven is here with me, right here in my mind. All I have to do is allow turn my awareness in that direction.

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Study of Text, C 15: The Two Uses of Time, P 5, 9-7-17

I. The Two Uses of Time, P 5
5 The ego teaches that Heaven is here and now because the future is hell. Even when it attacks so savagely that it tries to take the life of someone who thinks its is the only voice, it speaks of hell even to him. For it tells him hell is here as well, and bids him leap from hell into oblivion. The only time the ego allows anyone to look upon with equanimity is the past. And even there, its only value is that it is no more.

Journal
I was wondering how it is that the ego teaches that Heaven is here and now. I suppose that would be a special relationship when all is going well. Or maybe special talents could be considered a heavenly experience, a great singer or athlete, a successful artist or writer. Maybe having a great deal of money or stature within your world could make you feel like this was Heaven. As I am considering these possibilities, I am aware of how easily this kind of heavenly experience could turn into a hellish one. This is a typical ego gift, shifting and undependable.

I have experienced the ego’s attacks that could drive one to suicide or at least the wish for it to be over. And all of us here are moving inevitably toward death. This is when the ego switches tactics and tells us that this may have been Heaven for awhile, but now it is hell. It offers us heartbreaking loss, perhaps poverty or sickness. Without a doubt, it offers guilt and fear, sometimes to the point of debilitating mental illness. The only surcease that is offered is oblivion, which, I suppose, has an advantage over eternal punishment that is its alternative future.

Before I became aware that I could choose to listen to another Voice, I heard mostly ego, and thus suffered from depression. I was suicidal at times, and that doesn’t surprise me. I am only surprised that I was able to function at all, and that I chose to live. I still hear the ego encouraging death and oblivion sometimes, but now I know the Voice for God and I don’t pay a lot of attention to the ego’s voice. In fact, recognizing the ego for what it is, I find its attempts to entice me to death uninteresting.

The ego doesn’t seem to care if I focus on the past. Probably this is because the past doesn’t exist and so when my mind is on the past, it is on nothing. There is no threat to the ego while I am living in the past because that means I am not waking up to the present moment, the only time that exists. More and more, I realize that as long as I am lost in my story, I am living in the past. This is an old story, long over. I am just thinking about it, reliving it in my mind. What could that be but living in the past and this is where the ego would have me.

The ego’s use for time is depressing and unproductive. It has only one purpose for time and that is in keeping the separation idea going. It wants to preserve the stories we made up not heal the mind that thought them. This is why I stay connected to the Holy Spirit throughout the day. I am learning to hear His Voice rather than ego, to look at the stories as ways to awaken from the dream of separation rather than as problems to be overcome. We made time and the ego uses it to preserve what we made, but the Holy Spirit has a different use for time. He uses it to undo the idea of time, and return our awareness to eternity where we are.

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Study of Text, C 15: The Two Uses of Time, P 4, 9-5-17

I. The Two Uses of Time, P 4
4 The belief in hell is inescapable to those who identify with the ego. Their nightmares and their fears are all associated with it. The ego teaches that hell is in the future, for this is what all its teaching is directed to. Hell is its goal. For although the ego aims at death and dissolution as an end, it does not believe it. The goal of death, which it craves for you, leaves it unsatisfied. No one who follows the ego’s teaching is without the fear of death. Yet if death were thought of merely as an end to pain, would it be feared? We have seen this strange paradox in the ego’s thought system before, but never so clearly as here. For the ego must seem to keep fear from you to hold your allegiance. Yet it must engender fear in order to maintain itself. Again the ego tries, and all too frequently succeeds, in doing both, by using dissociation for holding its contradictory aims together so that they seem to be reconciled. The ego teaches thus: Death is the end as far as hope of Heaven goes. Yet because you and the ego cannot be separated, and because it cannot conceive of its own death, it will pursue you still, because guilt is eternal. Such is the ego’s version of immortality. And it is this the ego’s version of time supports.

Journal
Back in the day when I was Catholic, what I liked about the Church was that the rules were clear. I knew what was a sin and which ones would send me to hell, and all I had to do was to steer clear of those. And yet, I didn’t. I really bought into the whole Catholic theology and still, I could not avoid those mortal sins. So, what is the chance that I would go to Heaven when I died? I could always hope that I would die right after confession just to be safe, but otherwise, I was doomed.

If I managed to avoid all mortal sin, I still had all those venial sins that would send me to purgatory for some undecided length of time where I could hopefully work off my sins. The weirdest thing about this theology is that I believed it. This is typical of what the ego offers us. We will die, but even in death, we will be punished.

What I think is most important for me to realize is that the ego teaches that guilt is eternal. How very strange, but what else could we expect from this upside down world? We, the eternal beings God created, will die and then in death continue to suffer. And guilt, which is of the ego will be eternal. I think my daily mantra will be this. There is no guilt. I will say this to myself frequently, and I will use it to answer all problems.

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Study of Text, C 15: The Two Uses of Time, P 3, 9-1-17

I. The Two Uses of Time, P 3
3 The ego is an ally of time, but not a friend. For it is as mistrustful of death as it is of life, and what it wants for you it cannot tolerate. The ego wants you dead, but not itself. The outcome of its strange religion must therefore be the conviction that it can pursue you beyond the grave. And out of its unwillingness for you to find peace even in death, it offers you immortality in hell. It speaks to you of Heaven, but assures you that Heaven is not for you. How can the guilty hope for Heaven?

Journal
This is very simple to understand but when I read it the first time, I was relieved. At that time I had not yet put behind me the last vestiges of organized religion with its concept of hell. Reading this paragraph helped me to do that. I see now where this idea originated. Certainly, it was not God Who created it, so it makes sense that it was the ego. The missing piece for me was why the ego did this. I see it is just another attempt to preserve itself, while still upholding its primary belief, guilt.

It makes perfect sense that the ego wants me dead but not itself. How else could it have both my death and its life except to follow me into death and torment me there? And of course, the ego concept of guilt demands punishment. The only times I have ever had problems letting go of a grievance was when I couldn’t bring myself to let the guilty person off the hook. This is the ego mind insisting the guilty are guilty forever. If there were no punishment after death, then its foundational belief in guilt would be thwarted.

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Study of Text, C 15: The Two Uses of Time, P 2, 8-30-17

I. The Two Uses of Time, P 2
2 One source of perceived discouragement from which you may suffer is your belief that this takes time, and that the results of the Holy Spirit’s teaching are far in the future. This is not so. For the Holy Spirit uses time in His Own way, and is not bound by it. Time is His friend in teaching. It does not waste Him, as it does you. And all the waste that time seems to bring with it is due but to your identification with the ego, which uses time to support its belief in destruction. The ego, like the Holy Spirit, uses time to convince you of the inevitability of the goal and end of teaching. To the ego, the goal is death, which is its end. But to the Holy Spirit, the goal is life, which has no end.

Journal
I am glad that Jesus is talking to us about the idea that awakening takes time. I have believed this myself. Recently, I have considered the idea that this might not be true, that it could happen in any moment, in the blink of an eye. It has not seemed that way to me in the past and if I look at the past to define the future, then I will be waiting a long time yet.

But what if I just believe what Jesus is telling me here? Maybe the reason it has taken so long up to now is that I have clung to the ego identification. That is the only thing standing between me and Awakening. I think that I am spirit, but I also think that part of me is ego, which I am defining here as body and personality, that is, concepts that make me special and separate from others.

I have come a long way with letting these concepts go. I used to think I had to be good at what I did, whatever that was, and excelling at it defined me. Sometimes, failing at it defined me. At one time, I used the success of my children to define me as a good mother. Earning money, nice car, good clothes, all of these were defining elements of my life.

Most of that has fallen away. Occasionally, I see some of those thoughts make a brief appearance, but I don’t care about them so they have no power. But there are other elements of my “self” that I still believe in. I treasure them and Jesus says that we defend what we treasure. If I defend anything that I think of as “me,” I am letting time waste me. I cannot know my true self until I let go of the self I made to take its place.

There are days when I am certain that this lifetime will not be enough time to get the job done. Yes, a lot has been accomplished so far, but there are so many little ways in which I see that I still value my self. I just had my 68th birthday. How many more do I have left? Is there enough time to accomplish my goal? If I were responsible for this, then I would have something to worry about.

But the Holy Spirit uses time in His Own way. Time is His friend in teaching, and I am listening to the Holy Spirit more and more. I am surrendered more than I am not. I am dedicated and I learning not to compromise. My Awakening will happen when it does and when is not my business. The Holy Spirit is my Teacher and my Guide, and the Holy Spirit knows how to use time. My part is to give my heart to this process and to follow my guidance. I will do that. I no longer seek death, but life.

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Study of Text, C 15: The Two Uses of Time, P 1, 8-28-17

We are starting a new chapter today. I am almost sorry to leave Chapter 14. It is one of my favorite chapters, but I am sure we will find some wonderful instruction in this chapter as well.

Chapter 15: THE HOLY INSTANT
I. The Two Uses of Time, P 1
1 Can you imagine what it means to have no cares, no worries, no anxieties, but merely to be perfectly calm and quiet all the time? Yet that is what time is for; to learn just that and nothing more. God’s Teacher cannot be satisfied with His teaching until it constitutes all your learning. He has not fulfilled His teaching function until you have become such a consistent learner that you learn only of Him. When this has happened, you will no longer need a teacher or time in which to learn.

Journal
So that is what I am here for? I am here to learn how to be carefree, calm and quiet all the time. That would mean that once my learning is complete, I can be in the middle of a hurricane I won’t be worried. I will be calm and quiet. When Jesus tells me things like this, I understand that he means I will learn from the Holy Spirit how to be carefree and calm and it will be natural, and honest.

He doesn’t mean I am supposed to try to be calm. My only part in this process is to want it, to listen to the Holy Spirit for instruction, and to practice what I am given to do. It is absolutely not my part to heal my own mind or to try to be the things I am promised I am. What I try to do is to listen for guidance and follow it.

I have access to God’s Teacher for as long as I need Him. His function is to teach me until I become such a consistent learner that I learn only from Him. I am pleased to report that this is truer for me than it used to be, though not complete, yet. I listen to the Holy Spirit far more often than I do the ego, but I still turn to the ego sometimes. I generally catch it pretty fast, and I change my mind as soon as I can, so Holy Spirit is doing a good job as my instructor. Way to go, Holy Spirit!

As for my part, I am doing what I can as often as I can. I forgive myself for my errors and I move on, leaving any guilt behind. I am a far better learner if I don’t allow guilt to be part of the process. I am not guilty because I give into fear or anger. I am successful when I notice that I did and choose again. Guilt slows the process. It is like taking three steps forward when I notice an error with a willingness to be corrected, and then taking two steps back when I feel guilty for my error. That is not efficient learning, and I have learned not to do it. So, yay for me!

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