Realizing God's Will Is Oneness

Holy Spirit’s Curriculum

In the sum of a person’s life there are many experiences of all types.  These range from feelngs of sadness to joy, feelings of displeasure and feelings of unbridled contentment.  What do they mean in the end?  What were they for?  Only Holy Spirit has the meaning for them.  For some these candles of experience gently light the way to greater vision.  For some these candles light a fire of flames so bright they can be confusing.  Are they flames of new vision or so real they burn?

The other day I attended a meditation service given by another minister.  During it we were guided to go twenty years in the future to meet our Future Self and receive a message.  When I anticipated this experience, I expected to meet a wise and wonderful self full of peace and bliss.  Instead I met with sadness and confusion.  It was most puzzling to me but I went with it.  We were to travel to a future home.  I saw my current home which was filled with overwhelming sadness, and I was overcome by the sameness of it.  I had expected change.  After the meditation, we went through several other processes to come to a descriptive statement about self.  As I let Holy Spirit guide me, I was amazed that from the words of sadness and confusion describing the experience, came a most beautiful affirmation of it being my function to question sadness and confusion in order to lead my mind to its sameness in God.

For these last few days, I have been open to the healing that Holy Spirit brings me in looking at sadness and confusion.  It was almost as if deeper layers of ego beliefs were brought to the surface now instead of over the next twenty years.  It was like a confused thought cluster being brought to the surface of my mind for healing in order to let go of seeing form as real.  My ego thought system cajoles me into thinking its time for a holiday, time to take a break from looking at the layers of sadness and confusion.  It says sweetly, give it to me, I’ll take care of it,  I’ll hide it deeper where we won’t have to look at it.  Of course, this is a holiday of hell and of no help whatsoever.

As deeper layers of false but entrenched beliefs come to the surface, it can be disconcerting and temporarily painful.  The ego loves to hide the unforgiveness, confusion and guilt that is the result of accepting it as real.  And when this comes up for healing, it is not so pleasant to look at and experience, and can at moments feel overwhelming.  It is at these moments that I must really look at the stubborn ego and pride that I made real for myself over eons of time.  But if I don’t let the sadness bubble up, look at it and own it, I cannot let it go completely.  Holy Spirit does bring beliefs to my attention so that I can stand in the fire with them and Him so that they can be burned away.  If I am willing to look without judgment at what I see and feel, giving all to Holy Spirit, then the conditions of my mind can be changed.  The deeper levels that were hidden to me can come to light and disappear in truth.  The ego wants to hold onto grievances forever, holding them to me with the glue of guilt.  Only Holy Spirit can undo this and clean my mind of all traces of belief in separation.

Others in the group meditation all had a lovely trip.  I joked that I was the only one that needed to go to the bad trip tent with Holy Spirit, but in fact I am quite grateful that I experienced deeper layers of my unhealed mind.  Holy Spirit never says to me that my mess is too messy for Him.  When I look at my experiences with Him instead of ego, there is always true help.  Holy Spirit tells me to come on into the healing tent where my life experiences, with all their feelings, can be let go of with ease.  The healing tent shows me the truth that comes from looking at everything with Holy Spirit in a light-hearted way.  I made the judgment that illusion is real, but what I made has no force and Holy Spirit undoes it.  As I honestly admit that I hide ego junk in my mind, but am grateful when it is shown to me, I allow Holy Spirit to do His healing work freely.

My life is my cirriculum, the circumstances where I practice letting go of the barriers to love.  I used to think the cirriculum to learn was the words and concepts in ACIM.  I see now that it is not just the words but also the circumstances of my life.  It is in my relationships with self, others and things where I learn to let go of the barriers to the awareness of love’s presence.  The story of my life is my cirriculum to remember love.  As I embrace the cirriculum, I see it’s for my benefit and my healing.  It is not fearful, nor too stressful, and not suffering and sacrifice.  It is a blessing in disguise of illusion.  As I learn to let go of my rigid ego expectations and beliefs by remembering to admit I have no answers and ask for help, I feel peace and acceptance.  Hiding never helps because its a game of separation.  Opening to what is and placing it unashamedly on my inner altar unifies.

Yes, I am grateful to be shown sadness and confusion in my meditation.  It is a golden opportunity to practice giving it to Holy Spirit for healing.  All mistaken thinking can be let go when I admit my mistake without judgment and surrender it to The Healer.  The sum of all the experiences of my life, and all their feelings, add up to my healing journey.  Holy Spirit sometimes gently lights my way and sometimes I seem to stand in the fire with Him.  The happy news is that only the illusion is burned away.  I am not burned in the flame, I am saved.

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