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October-December, 2007

Course Koans

by Rev. Jean Weston

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines koan as follows:

A paradox to be meditated upon that is used to train Zen Buddhist monks to abandon ultimate dependence on reason and to force them into gaining sudden intuitive enlightenment.

A Course In Miracles has an abundance of statements that fit the description of a koan.  It’s one of a number of qualities of the Course that convinces me that it truly is a divinely inspired writing. As a relatively new student, it has been helpful to contemplate these koans to open myself to deeper levels of my True Self. I will list a few of these, and state what comes to me when I really think about them.
Infinite patience produces immediate effects.  (T-5.VI.12)

Patience can be a tough one. But what is infinite patience? Well, infinite means ‘without end.’ So if I am infinitely patient, I am not waiting for an end at all! Therefore, I am released from some future expectation and living in the now. Without a future expectation, I no longer need patience.  Viola! Immediate effects!

Easier said than done. But the next time you find yourself in a situation that you want changed (children are a great place to start!) think about this: We all need to learn our own lessons. We all change over time. We all need to go through the process. So what is the point of being impatient with another’s (or our own) learning process? Trust God (in them and in us). It will come. Will it be tomorrow or twenty years or another lifetime? In the ‘tiny tick of time’ that is our lifetime as compared to eternity, it really doesn’t matter.

Does this mean we should not be helpful? No, but we should not be attached to an outcome that will cause us to lose our peace. Otherwise, we are really adding to the problem instead of being helpful. The young (in age or spirit) need to find their own truths from within and the process really gets compounded when we try to ‘knock sense into them.’ By trusting infinitely, we are at peace, and by only seeing their True Selves we actually help them to see It, as well.

In my defenselessness my safety lies.  (WB Lesson 153)

Defenselessness?  The image congers up images of a mouse in a corner, a deer in the headlights, an infant of any species; something helpless in its own right. This is where our safety lies? Well, even in the examples given here — don’t most of them make it through? Certainly the infants that are dependent on their nurturers can depend on the nurturers to meet their needs. Most cars stop for the deer to unfreeze and continue across the road.  Even the cornered mouse can shriek, and make a mad dash between the cat’s legs!  But, even if they do not survive on this earth plane, we know from our studies of the Course, this is not their end.

But how is this Course Koan helpful to us here and now? Well, if we feel attacked and start to feel defensiveness rising within us, thinking of this koan can help us to re-center. How can becoming defensive help the situation? It stops communication and increases our judgments about the ‘other.’ This only makes us more closed to the ‘other’ in future encounters. And, if the ‘other’ senses this, they start their own defensiveness about us!

Then, sometimes, because we (or they) want to be seen as the one taking the high road, we lie! We pretend to others and ourselves that we are not upset. We aren’t thinking the things that we are sure the ‘other’ is thinking that we are thinking… and on and on the old ego weaves it’s web!

Yet, if we simply stayed in defenselessness from the beginning, so much time and energy would have been saved! When we felt attacked and started to feel defensive we could say, “Why is this feeling coming up in me? Why does what ever he/she did/said bother me so?”

When we can see why it bothers us, we can be compassionate with ourselves, yet, not let this past pain control us now. Also, we can realize that the ‘other’ has issues which may be what caused them to do or say whatever they did that started this process in us. We can be compassionate with them, yet, not let their past pain control us now, either!

It is important not to simply ignore these feelings because that is a way of ‘covering them over’ or ‘letting them fester.’ By seeing them as remnants from our past, and gently letting them go (at least for the present moment — which is all we need to concern ourselves with), we can remain open to what is truly the situation at present. We can be defenseless. Then we can see ourselves and the ‘other’ truly, as the Holy Son of God that they really are, rather than the ‘S.O.B.’ our little selves want to impose on them!
Do you prefer that you be right or happy?  (T.29.VII.1.9)

When I first heard this quote, I thought ACIM students must be a shallow bunch! If they used this quote to settle differences, they must just give up caring about anything, become avoiders of any kind of pain or conflict so that they and their brothers can be happy. I’ve heard the term ‘blissninny’ used to describe this picture.

In further study I came across this helpful quote:  ‘All real pleasure comes from doing God’s Will.’ (T.1.VII.1.4)
 
In applying this to the difficulty I was having with the idea of being right or happy, I realized I would remain in a peaceful or happy state if I trusted more in God’s Will.  Often, my need to help get the ‘other’ to a certain understanding, on deeper examination, shows my lack of trust of the following: My brother — he won’t get there if I don’t help him. God — it is up to me to ‘fix’ this. Time — it has to be fixed soon or else. Yet, by staying with the idea that, ‘All real pleasure comes from doing God’s Will,’ I can release myself from all this angst. I can state what, to the best of my understanding, is God’s Will, and then I have done His will. The rest is out of my hands and I simply can trust that outside of time it is already corrected.

So now to me, “Do you prefer that you be right or happy?” does not mean to deny my feelings in order to ‘keep peace, or to call my desire for things to be different an ego ploy. It is simply a reminder to not get caught up in the disagreement or to lose my peace.

Stay clear to hear God’s Will, state what I understand It to be, and then move on in peace.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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