Miracles News

Tweet

July-September, 2011

Learning to Surrender and the Miracle That Occurred

by Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C.

I experienced a genuine miracle, a miracle in every sense. Here is how it came about.

I’ve been practicing full surrender, becoming the empty shell. I am letting go of the self so that I can know Self. It’s a full time job requiring constant vigilance.  A Course in Miracles begins by teaching me that my thoughts do not mean anything, and are showing me a meaningless world. It helps me to understand that there is another way to see, and that I can have that experience if I will allow the Holy Spirit to correct my thoughts and heal my mind.

The Course tells me that the thoughts in my mind are not my real thoughts because they are not the thoughts I share with God, and that I can become aware of my real thoughts if I want to. I cannot hold both thoughts in my mind at the same time, so I have to choose between my ego thoughts or the thoughts I think with God.

I could understand this as a concept, but it was very hard for me to make that shift. I did the work, though, as I practiced being mindful of my thoughts and being willing to allow the Holy Spirit to correct them. Then I started reading The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament, and was drawn to 1 Corinthians, which talks about the empty shell. It says, “Choose not to cling to your self as you perceive yourself to be. Choose instead to lay your self aside and to become like an empty shell. That which is emptied shall be filled by Me, and one who is filled by Me shall know his own fullness.”

The Holy Spirit also says that to become the empty shell we should lay our thoughts aside and in this way we will be free to hear our real thoughts. He says that these are the thoughts that we will recognize as Him. Up until now I had been focused on sorting through my thoughts, judging which of them are false and then learning that they are not worth keeping so I can allow them to be corrected. When I read the words in NTI 1 Corinthians, I felt a fierce desire to be that empty shell. I felt a longing to be through with judging altogether, and to be free of that burden. I realized the way to that freedom was in giving up thinking.

It seemed so impossible that the ego had no trouble convincing me that this was crazy, but as often as I gave up, I returned to my practice. Then Regina Dawn Akers, the scribe of NTI (The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament) published a book called The Teachings of the Inner Ramana, and in this book and its accompanying CD’s I found the help I needed to get a few steps ahead of the ego. 

I have always wanted a quiet mind but had never had one. In fact I have had a very active mind that seemed to never slow down. After working with this book and the CD’s for a couple of months I find that my mind is much quieter, and I am more at peace than ever before.

In the past I had learned that the more I was willing to put aside what I think I know and listen to the Holy Spirit instead, the happier I was. Now I understand that to be happy, and to experience true peace it is necessary that I put aside everything I think I know, and in that empty peaceful place the Holy Spirit will be the only Voice I hear. I have encountered a lot of resistance to this. I thought that those several years of learning to be vigilant for the ego had made me an expert, but I was to discover that I was just a baby when it came to surrender.

I journaled with the Holy Spirit in Lesson 159 and what I said describes perfectly the difficulty I have with this process, but also my determination to follow through.

I get lost in the ego thinking. It is like standing in a jungle thick with vegetation and surrounded by paths all leading to places I cannot see. Which do I take? Each seems promising, but each has its own objections. Could it be that I am confused because I don’t want the only answer that leads out of confusion?

One of the paths has a sign at its entrance that says “Christ’s vision is the miracle in which all miracles are born.” I am drawn to that path because it seems the straightest, the simplest, and the most peaceful. On this path there is nothing for me to think about. No decisions to be made. I surrender fully on this path. I surrender all questions and all answers. I ask that my mind be filled only with Christ Vision. I wish for nothing because I don’t know what to wish for. I surrender all wishes. In my trust I am carried.  

The ego really, really wants to go back to thinking about this, but I am willing to be empty, at least for this moment. I am willing to be filled with knowledge that is not of me. The ego is a little buzzing sound that seems to be saying, “But, what about…..” And, “But, what if…..” But, but, but. This moment I am still willing to be empty, still willing to be filled. And in this moment. And this one.

From The Teachings of the Inner Ramana, I have found a process that I use to do this work. I become willing to let go of my thoughts, and then, as I have done in the past, I practice all day noticing when I am listening to my thoughts. The Inner Ramana says that the reason the mind chatters is because we listen to it. So when the mind gets wound up and starts its incessant chatter, I use a mantra to stop the noise. I usually say, “I am that I am.” Sometimes I say, “I am as God created me.” Then I ask the Holy Spirit to take me to the Heart, to that quiet peaceful place where I can hear only Him. It seems so easy I thought it would be a cinch. But the ego mind does want to think, and so I have had lots of practice.

I’ve discovered that what the mind thinks about all the time is “I” and “me” as separate from everyone else and everything else. “I want this. I don’t want that. I think, I care, I need, I should,” and on and on. This is of course the ego making itself at home as if it owns the place. This is what I want to give up as I stop listening to the thoughts in the mind. The ego gives me the thought that not only is this impossible, but if I did succeed I would cease to exist. But I ask, “Who would cease to exist?” It is the ego and I am not that.

In order to completely surrender as my own creator, I am practicing surrendering the everyday things, the things the ego uses to reinforce itself as tyrant of my kingdom. I now ask the Holy Spirit what He would have me do, what He would have me say, think, share, understand, even what he would have me eat and what he would have me wear when I choose my outfit in the morning. The ego says the Holy Spirit isn’t interested in these things. I say the ego is using those things to remain in charge of my life.

Recently I had some physical symptoms that could indicate a minor infection, or something more, so I went to the doctor for tests. A cat scan and several x-rays showed that I had a kidney stone and the doctor expected it to pass soon. He sent me a large bottle of pain pills. Looking at all that Vicodan clued me that this was going to hurt, so I looked it up on the Internet. It said that people say passing a stone is the most painful thing you can experience. Oh well, that was not good news. I spoke to people who had done so, and they all pretty much agreed with that assessment.

I took off from work because I travel in my work and didn’t want to be on the road when the stone passed. I also didn’t want to be more than an arm’s length from my medicine! What I began to notice as the week passed and another began is that I was obsessing over this whole situation. I was thinking non-stop. My thoughts went along the lines of, “I don’t want to be in pain. I don’t want to miss more work. I wish this were not happening to me.” There were many thoughts like that.

I saw that they were all “I” thoughts, all about me, separate from all of you. I saw that I was deciding for myself what should be happening and what the outcome should be. I was making plans on my own to assure the outcome I wanted. I did a mental head slap as I realized I had taken over instead of surrendering.  I stepped aside and asked Holy Spirit to lead the way. I surrendered the whole thing to him. I did not decide what should happen and ask Him to make it work for me, but rather told Him I trusted Him fully. I was willing to experience whatever would be helpful to my awakening. I then added, without forethought, that I would also be willing to experience it without pain.

That thought really surprised me, and I had a vision of the stone being gently crushed into dust and passing harmlessly through me.  The ego immediately jumped on that bandwagon insisting that was not possible, then claiming it as the only acceptable conclusion. The ego is nothing if not inconsistent. But it was too late for the ego. I was fully into surrender again. I felt the most peaceful I had in over a week. I knew that I really meant it when I was willing to resign as my own teacher. I don’t know what anything is for.

Another week went by and no stone passed, so the doctor scheduled me for a surgical procedure to have it removed. I really didn’t want to do this because I don’t like how anesthesia affects me. Then I realized I was doing it again. I was deciding what should happen. So I laughed at myself and asked the Holy Spirit to show me another way to see this even though I couldn’t imagine how it could be different.

I went up to the office to do some last minute paper work and ran into a colleague. She heard I was going for surgery and started telling me about her recent (and first) experience with it. She said, “This is going to be so neat for you! They put you under and you don’t feel a thing, and when you wake up you feel all lala. It’s really great!” Well, there you go. Another way to see it.

When I got to the hospital I was in complete acceptance. I was even looking forward to the procedure! I felt so grateful for this new outlook. I knew that when the doctor removed the stone he would put in a stint and that would be uncomfortable but I decided that I was willing to see that differently too. I had the thought that I should ask for another x-ray because maybe I didn’t really need the procedure, but I dismissed the thought. I shouldn’t have done that. When the doctor went in for the stone he didn’t find one. It had dissolved itself and left my body painlessly!

I was grateful for the miracle of the stone passing without pain, but even more grateful for the miracle of the mind change. Everything that happens to me can be a way of making more illusion if I listen to the ego, or it can be a way of helping me awaken from the illusion if I listen to Holy Spirit. The miracle is a change of mind, and sometimes it manifests as form in a startling way as it did for me. But I am not confused; the real miracle is the change of mind.

© 2011, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this copyright notice and website address are included.

Tell a Friend

Printable Page

Back to main page of Miracles News.

Has this page been helpful to you?
Your contribution to support this site is greatly appreciated. To make a tax deductible contribution with a credit/debit card, click here.
Click here to donate from your PayPal account.
Or send a check to Pathways of Light, 12530 Lions Chase Court, Huntley, IL 60142.