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October-December, 2007

My Healing Journey

by Rev. Mary Manke

I have had many lessons, and opening to mind healing, which I am certain is just the beginning for me. I seem to have begun this experience of Lupus and transverse myelitis, on July 16th, 2007.

On Monday morning I couldn’t stand, I could not crawl. There was a constant tingling or buzzing from my feet up to my abdomen. Later it seemed to have crept up to just under the breasts. As I looked at my body’s ‘history’ and at the symptoms of Lupus, I saw that I have had many of the signs over the years, but so sporadically, over a long span, that they could not be tied together.

I was not afraid that morning. I thought, “This is interesting.” To me, I finely had reached the point of having had enough unhappiness (pain), so I chose this dream experience as a way to keep the ego occupied and allow space or time for me to stop all the “doing” and simply listen.

I had been asking for my mind to be healed, not sure how long or often I had asked for healing.

These are the words that Spirit gave me, “You might call this a wake-up call. It is the accumulation of thoughts from guilt and fear of retribution. The mistaken perception that you could abandon Love and then Love would abandon you.”

“When you choose to let go of the fearful thoughts manufactured by an insane belief, then Holy Spirit removes them. You have tried to unload guilt in whatever way the sick mind has offered you. You are understanding the senselessness of this. You can also understand that there is no guilt. You can and will let go of the past learning (that the world deems ‘necessary’). You will let go of the past learning of your ‘own’ dream. Your goal for the moment is to ‘see’ the innocence and harmlessness of everything.”

On July 26th, 2007 I received this message: “I said before that you could call this experience a ‘wake-up call.’ It is a call for you to accept the Self that you are.

“It is your willingness to change that has brought you here, for without this period of non-doing, you would not take the day to ‘study’ the Course, to listen to the Voice of Love and to go within your mind. This is a call to heal. It is healing your mind that can save the world and your self.

“You did indeed choose this experience so that ego would be ‘disabled’ in the physical form. You were willing to do this because you want your mind healed and are unwilling to delay your full acceptance of truth.

“You have all that you ‘need’ within your mind. Yet you have tried thousands of solutions, teachers and roads to fill your only need. Forgiveness in this world is the love that all minds seek in dreams. ‘Being Love’ is forgiveness in this world. This is your desire to let go of the idols you made and let truth replace the dark.”

At 3:00 p.m. that day I received this message: “I want you to accept that you are able to ‘hear’ the Voice of Love without limit. You can hear this Voice regardless of what the body seems to do. This Voice speaks to you all the time waiting only your invitation. You have capacity to ‘hear’ your Inner Voice. It has never dissolved. It is only your choice not to listen that makes the Voice seem unreliable. Your attention is focused on the body for the moment. You can attend to the dream form, and still listen to the Voice of Love. You will learn to be in the dream, but not of the dream.”

I have been reading the Course Text, and Workbook, with Guidance. I then paraphrase what stands out to me. This brings more and more clarity, more Love into my awareness.

On July 22, I woke with Course words flowing through my mind, and I came to realize that I was happy. “I am perfectly happy, because I have no cause not to be; I am as God created me, and that must be perfect happiness.  I felt like laughing out loud! Laughing at the silliness of my little dream.

I have been told that my ‘job’ for now is to maintain my physical exercises each day, which is helpful in the dream world. I also know that my ‘job’ is to be a messenger for Love, and to me, this means to communicate what I am learning or unlearning in my dream. (New entries are on their way to this page!)  Blessings to All.

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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