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April-June, 2013

The One About the Good (?) Thief

by Rev. Stephan Mead, O.M.C.

A couple of months ago, the day after I returned from a fabulous Hawaiian vacation, I discovered a man whom I had trusted stole about $30k from me. I remember sitting at a coffee shop looking over some financial records thinking, “This cannot be happening to me.” And, “after all the help I have given this person, this is how he shows gratitude?” I thought I was going to vomit.

Pictures of police reports, lawyer visits, depositions, and courtroom scenes flooded my mind. “No matter the cost, this thief is going to find out he stole from the wrong person” was my new mantra. I looked over the evidence again, and confirmed that I had been grievously harmed. Opening up my briefcase, I removed a pen and pad to make a list of the next steps to take in order to right this terrible incident that never should have happened.

“Never should have happened?” That statement replayed again in my consciousness, except this time I heard it in Byron Katie’s voice. “Never should have happened?” “Oh, sweetie, do you know that is true?” I put my pen down on the coffee shop table.

Deeply I breathed a couple of times, my feeling of nausea was subsiding. In addition to Byron Katie’s sing song voice spoiling my resentment, some ACIM workbook lessons were also invading my mental battle plans. #5, I am never upset for the reason I think. #32, I have invented the world I see. Then, for the knock out punch, #34 I could see peace instead of this.

An unexpected calmness settled my thoughts. “What if there really was another way of looking at this?” “Can I really experience peace instead of the rage going on in my mind?” I suspiciously asked the Holy Spirit for help and immediately received an answer, “Go home, settle down and then go to your real Home.” I followed my instructions.

As I began to re-state my undeserved situation (for the 100th time,) that feeling of calmness once again enveloped me. I was being guided to “rise above the battlefield” and look at life differently. The invitation to “trust” was now the strongest thought in my mind.

So, a couple of months have gone by…What has happened that I can attribute to making a decision to “trust?” A very good friend of mine, who was in line for a liver transplant, fell ill. On Christmas Eve, Nancy (my mighty companion) and I went to visit him. We found him in a coma on his living room floor, called an ambulance and followed him to the hospital. Our friend never recovered.

Nancy and I spent most of Christmas day and the next couple of days with him until he passed. Listening to Nancy sing him carols, watching my friend dying, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of “all is well, the hatred and anger I still harbored towards the man I judged a thief means nothing.” I was being reborn in thought; perhaps that is what Christmas is about?

Several other powerful situations showed up in my life too, each one I participated in, in a manner that could not have happened if I hadn’t made the decision to “trust.” I know that if what I call a “theft,” hadn’t happened, I would have been shopping Christmas Eve, not driving 15 miles out of my way to check on my friend.

Two days ago I heard this man I called a thief, was experiencing some serious difficulties, very serious difficulties. My first thoughts were “good!” And, “I hope his whole family suffers and realizes he is getting his just reward for what he did to me.”

Then I smiled at myself thinking, “what did he really do?” He made it possible for me to make a choice between living in an illusion or living in truth. What if it turns out I owe him?

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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