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Excerpt from 905: Special Relationships VS Holy Relationships. T-15.IX.P7

T-15.IX. P 7
7 When the body ceases to attract you, and when you place no value on it as a means of getting anything, then there will be no interference in communication and your thoughts will be as free as God’s. As you let the Holy Spirit teach you how to use the body only for purposes of communication, and renounce its use for separation and attack which the ego sees in it, you will learn you have no need of a body at all. In the holy instant there are no bodies, and you experience only the attraction of God. Accepting it as undivided you join Him wholly, in an instant, for you would place no limits on your union with Him. The reality of this relationship becomes the only truth that you could ever want. All truth is here.

“When the body ceases to attract you, and when you place no value on it as a means of getting anything”
How do I do this? When I think I need a particular body to be in my sphere of influence or when I think I need it near me for the purpose of getting something, such as attention, affection, respect, proof that I am loved, comfort, stability, friendship, satisfaction, gratification or anything else, this is when I am attracted to the body and am placing value in it for what I can get from it.

This is the basis of the special relationship and this will not bring me happiness or peace because it places limits on communication. It is actually an attack. I might as well grab you up and imprison you because that is what I would be trying to do. I would imprison you to my needs. I can remember thinking and at one time in my life even saying, “If you loved me you would ________.” I can remember using guilt to control. “After all I have done for you, _____.”

I might as well have said, “You must keep your body here and use it to give me what I think I need from you. I will use you until I use you up and then I will trade you for a different body.” If that is not an attack I don’t know what is. Then my attacks became less frequent and more subtle. An “idle” thought, “Where are you when I need you?” “If only you were here.” “I wish you were here.”

By valuing someone as a body, which means valuing that one as a separate individual who is prized above others for what he/she can give me, I am attempting to separate that one from the whole and thus from God. Now I begin to see the scope of the attack! This attack continues as long as I look at a body and say that one is mine or is necessary to my happiness, for a moment or for a life time.

What happens as my relationships have been transformed? I don’t have need of a special love object. I simply love, as I have said before. I love fully and completely without any perceived needs or demands interfering with communication (which is the flow of love).

Not needing a particular body is what is meant by there will be no bodies. Bodies are a limit we place on God’s Son. So, if I think I need a special body onto which I will place my love and receive love in return, then I am trying to limit love (communication). I am saying that love goes only as far as the body I am interested in, and no further. If that body leaves me or disappoints me it takes away love and I hate it for my loss, and so love becomes something fragile and shifting and undependable and therefore fearful.

There will come a time when we know this in our hearts and we will truly have no need for bodies at all and the illusion will end. In the meantime, I can come closer to unrestricted communication as I allow the Holy Spirit to purify my relationships. The less neediness I bring into the relationship, the freer the communication, the closer it is to real love.
I was thinking about Byron Katie talking about relationships. She said something like this. If her husband thinks he loves her he is having a happy dream about her. If he decides he is not happy with her anymore then he is having a bad dream about her. She said if he wanted to leave her, she would let him go because she loves him. (Not anywhere near her exact words, but the general idea is right.)

She doesn’t need a particular body to be her love object and so she is free to love that particular body and to enjoy love without fear of loss. It is a way I test my assertion of love. If my child were to hate me for something I said or did, would that affect my experience of the relationship with him or her? Would it affect my love? Would it devastate me? Would it feel like a loss? It is my ultimate test of how close I am to true communication (true and holy relationship) as opposed to separation and attack (special relationship).

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What Happens When I Oppose God with My Thoughts.

What happens when I oppose God with my thoughts. (Question from Pathways of Light course 904)

I thought of a few ways that I try to make real what is not real. These are times when I believe my story is actually happening now and that I must control it in some way. When that happens, I feel stressed because, really, what can I control? My ex-husband spent his life being financially responsible, saving, and investing so that he would have a pleasant retirement. Then there was a crash and he lost half of his retirement right before he retired.

Who plans to get cancer? Who thinks they can control their adult children? No one can control what Congress does or the decisions made by the president. No one can control whether we go to war or stay at peace. I can’t control whether or not I will get robbed. I have no control over whether I get a headache or if I will sleep well on any particular night.
The point is that I cannot control this life. The script is written and certain things are destined to happen within the story, but I am not in the story. In Lesson 168, Jesus says this about us.

“The mind can think it sleeps, but that is all. It cannot change what is its waking state. It cannot make a body, nor abide within a body. What is alien to the mind does not exist, because it has no source. For mind creates all things that are, and cannot give them attributes it lacks, nor change its own eternal, mindful state. It cannot make the physical. What seems to die is but the sign of mind asleep.”

How much clearer can it get? The mind cannot make a body, nor abide within a body. So this story is just that – a story, imagination, a hallucination, an illusion. If I cannot be a body or in a body, I am not in this story. I can only be dreaming it.
When I believe in my story, I become anxious and rightfully so. But when I realize that this is not reality and I am not actually living it, I can use the story to further my purpose. Instead of trying to think of some way to change the story, I can focus on the question, “What is it for?” I can use the story to undo the story. When I do this, I am stress-free. It is a much happier dream and as a lucid dreamer, I experience it without fear.

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Manual for Teachers, 7. Should Healing Be Repeated? P 2. 7-28-20

2 Whenever a teacher of God has tried to be a channel for healing he has succeeded. Should he be tempted to doubt this, he should not repeat his previous effort. That was already maximal, because the Holy Spirit so accepted it and so used it. Now the teacher of God has only one course to follow. He must use his reason to tell himself that he has given the problem to One Who cannot fail, and must recognize that his own uncertainty is not love but fear, and therefore hate. His position has thus become untenable, for he is offering hate to one to whom he offered love. This is impossible. Having offered love, only love can be received.

Here is a an entry from an earlier journal on the Manual for Teachers. I am leaving it because it is an excellent example of what Jesus is teaching here. It is also a good example of how I learned what it means to be a healer.
Jesus reiterates that an offer of healing is complete. If I doubt it has worked, there is no reason to repeat the healing, but rather, it is reason to return to my own healing. Doubt has arisen because I forgot Who it is that does the healing. I have forgotten that I am only the channel, through which healing occurs.

Still, it seems harsh to say that I am now offering hate rate than love, but if I think about it, I can see how this is true. If I think I have failed, this throws me into fear, and fear is hate. I have a friend with a chronic illness and I have prayed for his healing. There is little obvious sign that healing is taking place if I look at his body. When I begin to doubt that I did anything at all, I feel guilty as if it is my fault and I feel that if I were more worthy, the healing would occur.
In this frame of mind, I notice more ego thoughts creeping in. I have thoughts that it is really his fault. He is stubborn and doesn’t want to accept the healing. It’s his fault he got this way. If he had a better life style, he would never have gotten sick. If he were more worthy, had been on a spiritual path, or would get on one, he would do better.

I feel ashamed of these thoughts and recognize them for the attack that they are. I see that I feel like I must attack this good friend of mine, because I must defend myself against the guilt I feel when I look at him. I began with the loving thought that I know he is not his story, and I know that he is perfect because of who he is. I know that he is healed because that is God’s Will. Then when I did not see the proof of healing I expected, that love became hate. It is the ego way.

Sometimes the patient needs time to accept the healing so as not to create more fear in his mind. Perhaps there are still lessons he is learning from this situation. I cannot know what is best for this person. Holy Spirit please heal my mind of these false thoughts. My brother does not need my hate, and neither do I. I am happy to disregard appearances and place my full trust in You.

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The Goal of Special Relationships

Pathways of Light Course 905: Special Relationships VS Holy Relationships describes the goal of a special relationship: In truth, love in this world of bodies really means, “I want to be special, but I also feel alone, lacking and unworthy, which I can’t stand. Will you be my special partner and promise to keep your body around and help me feel special? This will help submerge my pangs of loneliness, lack and unworthiness. I will get the specialness, acknowledgment and attention I want so desperately. In return I will shower you with specialness. I will agree to give special attention to you and shower you with my exclusive ‘love.’ Through our alliance in being special partners, we will avoid the side-effects of loneliness and guilt that our desire for specialness brings. We will be happy our way, in our little world of specialness. We will be each others idols and replace the Love of God.”

This doesn’t have to be. We can choose differently. We can recognize our oneness in God and by setting a clear intention to express that truth of our selves; we open our mind to the Holy Spirit for the healing of those specialness thoughts. We don’t have to do it alone, and in fact, cannot do it alone; to receive His help we need only to look honestly at what we are doing and ask for correction.

The point is that whoever is saner at the time can stop the cycle of attack and defend. It doesn’t matter who does it because no one is trying to win on a personal level. They recognize that unless both of them win, neither wins. They are in this together. No one is trying to get something from the other.

Just recognizing that we are trying to complete ourselves through our relationships and that this never works is enough to open our mind to another possibility. There is a way to be in relationships that honor our self and our partner by honoring God as our Creator. We can achieve this by looking honestly at our relationships and asking the Holy Spirit to correct our errors.

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Manual for Teachers, 7. Should Healing Be Repeated? P 1. 7-25-20

7. SHOULD HEALING BE REPEATED?
1 This question really answers itself. Healing cannot be repeated. If the patient is healed, what remains to heal him from? And if the healing is certain, as we have already said it is, what is there to repeat? For a teacher of God to remain concerned about the result of healing is to limit the healing. It is now the teacher of God himself whose mind needs to be healed. And it is this he must facilitate. He is now the patient, and he must so regard himself. He has made a mistake, and must be willing to change his mind about it. He lacked the trust that makes for giving truly, and so he has not received the benefit of his gift.

If I feel the desire to repeat a healing, if I doubt the first healing worked, I must be judging from appearances. I would have approached the healing with a set outcome in my mind and then tried to achieve that outcome. Now when the outcome does not match my idea of what it should look like, I am disappointed and think something went wrong.
I asked Holy Spirit for a way to see this that would be clear to me. I see in my mind that I am standing before the patient. I have the desire to be a healing instrument and I start by telling the Holy Spirit how he should heal this person and what that healing should look like. Then I kind of (metaphorically) shove Him out of the way so I can make this happen. Oh my, this is hysterical!

Show me another one, Holy Spirit.
I’m standing before the patient with a desire to be a healing instrument. My mind is clear and I allow light to fill it. The Holy Spirit rises in my mind to meet the Holy Spirit in her mind and I am filled with joy to be used in such a miraculous way. I feel only love in this holy instant of joining, and gratitude that it is done.

Then I shift my awareness back into time and the body, and begin to doubt that such a thing could happen. I look at the patient and she seems the same to my body’s eyes. Did I do anything? Who do I think I am that I could heal anyone? What would people think if they heard me make such claims? And where is my proof?

I see, Holy Spirit, how this happens, and I also see that the healer needs healing. I recognize these thoughts and these feelings. I know what to do with them. Having seen them in my mind and looked at them with you, having felt the fear and guilt, the shame and discouragement that they produce, I ask you to heal my mind. I long to return to the ease of surrender. I long to be the clear and open channel of healing.

The Holy Spirit shows me one more picture. Its like I am looking at a split screen. On one side I stand in light with my brother. We are holding hands and are at peace. Our minds are being healed. On the other screen, I stand facing my brother. I want to heal him but there are so many things to consider and I am confused and uncertain.

Thank you, Holy Spirit. I gladly surrender the desire to be the one in charge. To understand my part and to trust past all appearances is what it means to have a healed mind.

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When a Brother Acts Insanely

Instead of trying to figure out why I was attacked, and who shares what portion of blame; instead of trying to work out an appropriate defense and so attack in return; instead of filling my life with anger and fear, I have another choice. A Course in Miracles says, “This calls for salvation, not attack.” As I choose the Voice for God I am shown how to save the world through forgiveness. I am free to overlook what I thought was hurtful to me by seeing that nothing anyone says to me can hurt me. It is only how I feel about what they say that is hurtful, so there was no attack by that person. I attacked myself and I forgive myself for that attack. As I recognize my own invulnerability, I teach that person his invulnerability. As I teach him his invulnerability, I convince myself of my own. As the Course says:

“When a brother acts insanely, he is offering you an opportunity
to bless him. His need is yours. You need the blessing you can
offer him. There is no way for you to have it except by giving it.
This is the law of God, and it has no exceptions.”

True forgiveness is such a lovely, elegant solution to all the misery we cause each other through our endless attack and defend reactions. And, best of all, it is so simple; not many solutions to many problems, but one solution to all problems. Simple, simple, simple.

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Manual for Teachers, 6.. Is Healing Certain? P 4. 7-16-20

6. IS HEALING CERTAIN? P4
4 It is the relinquishing of all concern about the gift that makes it truly given. And it is trust that makes true giving possible. Healing is the change of mind that the Holy Spirit in the patient’s mind is seeking for him. And it is the Holy Spirit in the mind of the giver Who gives the gift to him. How can it be lost? How can it be ineffectual? How can it be wasted? God’s treasure house can never be empty. And if one gift is missing, it would not be full. Yet is its fullness guaranteed by God. What concern, then, can a teacher of God have about what becomes of his gifts? Given by God to God, who in this holy exchange can receive less than everything?

What stands out for me in this paragraph are lines 3 and 4.

Healing is the change of mind that the Holy Spirit in the patient’s mind is seeking for him. And it is the Holy Spirit in the mind of the giver Who gives the gift to him.

The healing is accomplished through the union of the Holy Spirit, in both minds, for a single purpose, which is to accomplish a change of mind. So, the Holy Spirit in the patient’s mind determines what is needed. The Holy Spirit in my mind offers this gift. What is my part? It seems that I am to step back and allow it to happen. Stepping back means I will not try to direct the healing or make it happen. I will not decide what it should look like and if it is successful. I will not decide what the gift is, or how it should be accepted.

I will simply be the willing instrument of healing. No wonder I don’t have to be concerned about what happens to my gifts. Once again, I realize that while my part is vital, it is very small. I used to be distracted when the ego resented this, and wanted to do more and wanted credit. I don’t even hear the ego’s complaints anymore. I am only grateful to know my part and to know that I can do what is asked of me. There is nothing for me to be concerned about. As Jesus reassures us, “Yet is its fullness guaranteed by God.”

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