Realizing God's Will Is Oneness

Looking Through the Ego Webs for Answers

I ask for Peace, Joy, Understanding.  I ask for union with God - joint Will with Him.  I ask for knowledge of what I am and the means to obtain that knowledge.  I just ask to be what I am, my core identity, my authentic Self.  I don’t know how to make this happen.  I sit in willingness to know, to understand, to accept.  I also sit in trust that joining my will with Holy Spirit and Jesus unites my mind.  I feel Them on either side of me, supporting me, lifting me up.  I feel confidence in Their Will, Their union with God, and that if I unite with Them that God cannot fail to answer my call.

I ask to recognize the answer.  I so want the answer but I don’t want ego expectations to get in the way of seeing and hearing it.  My ego loves drama.  The answer may be very simple.  My ego is afraid.  The answer may be big.  I want a Teacher to show me the way.  I may be the Teacher.  I ask to see with Christ vision what I am and what way I am to follow.

I ask for a mind healing partner.  This may only be Holy Spirit in spiritual form, or it may be Holy Spirit speaking to me in physical form.  Perhaps it is just the concept of union that I long for and it is only the ego that desires confirmation and approval, a sense of “doing it right.”  Can there be a wrong way to unite with God?  Frustration and impatience can only be of ego in an attempt to measure time and accomplishment.  In God’s eyes I am only healed because I was never un-healed.  My desire is to look on my Self with this same vision, to see myself only healed because I was never anything but this, not really.

I can go so far and God does the rest - the final step.  There is the wanting of it in this instant, to be free of the pain of separation.  One must take comfort in the trust that this happens with certainty at some appointed time when we are ready.  We probably are not in the best position to gauge our readiness, beset as we are with ego concerns.  How can we ever gauge if we are laying ego concerns down as completely as we can?  It is impossible.  All we can do is focus on forgiveness of self for being in the soup.

Today I will focus on forgiving myself for being in the ego web of thought and for spinning a web of concerns around me.  I forgive myself for all ideas of not being good enough or doing good enough to achieve enlightenment or union with God.  I forgive myself for self recrimination, self judgment and guilt.  I forgive myself for blaming myself.  I forgive myself for at times being selfish and unloving, caught in attack and defenses.  This is all ego.  This is not of Self.

Self forgives my little self of little games in the little kingdom, seeing they are small and harmless - foolish but harmless- for they are not real.  They are little dream webs of fear.  Self forgives little self for being afraid.  I forgive myself for being afraid, for thinking I am in prison, for thinking that dream webs bind me in any way.  These webs are as threads of cloudy nothingness, cottony puffs so fine they can be seen through with eyes that can see with the eyes of Christ Self.  Help me today, Holy Spirit, see with the eyes of Love and Peace and Joy.  This is all I ask.  Is this so much to ask?  It can’t be too much to ask for this is my spiritual inheritance, my birth right as a Child of God.

And so today, I trust that answers are mine.  This is the promise given in ACIM and I trust the promise of Jesus that this is so.  I will to join the confidence of Christ that I am One with God for there is nothing apart from Him.  In my joining with the Will of Christ am I saved from my little kingdom of fear and allow the Peace of God to flood my mind.

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