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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-25-12

6-25-12
7 Remember you are His completion and His Love. Remember your weakness is His strength. But do not read this hastily or wrongly. If His strength is in you, what you perceive as your weakness is but illusion. And He has given you the means to prove it so. Ask all things of His Teacher, and all things are given you. Not in the future but immediately; now. God does not wait, for waiting implies time and He is timeless. Forget your foolish images, your sense of frailty and your fear of harm, your dreams of danger and selected “wrongs.” God knows but His Son, and as he was created so he is. In confidence I place you in His hands, and I give thanks for you that this is so.

Truly I still see myself as weak. I so easily fall back into ego thinking, and I spend long periods of time listening to ego chatter before I even notice I am doing it. I entertain judgmental thoughts, and I still project my fears and doubts placing blame outside my mind onto others and onto my body. I do all this less often and for much shorter periods of time so I see myself as getting better, but still.

What Jesus reminds me here in this paragraph is that my weakness is an illusion. Actually, I have the same strength in me that is in God, because He created me as an extension of Himself. Anything that is not like God must be an illusion. I made up the idea of weakness just like I made up the idea of pain. It was all part of my plan to have a experience that is different from God.

If you take out the mistaken belief that we have actually done something real and irreparable, then there would be no reason for guilt and so no reason for fear. Then this experience would simply be interesting, and even fun. After our forays into our made up world we would sit around and talk about how it feels to be afraid and what rage does to the body. And if we were no longer drowning in our guilt and fear, we would have been through with the game a long time ago.

Fear of facing our Creator has kept the illusion in place. We are like children who snuck out of the yard for an adventure in the nearby woods. We realized we were late for supper and were probably in serious trouble, and in our fear of our parent’s anger, went more deeply into the woods.

The longer we stayed the more trouble we expected to be in and the more afraid we became. Finally, we were in the woods so long we got lost and then decided, like kids everywhere today, that if you don’t think about something its like it didn’t happen. So we lost our way and lost our memory, and our fear keeps us in this sorry state.

Finally one of our brothers began to remember. He learned to listen to that Voice of Reason, the Voice of God that is still intact within our mind. He made it back to sanity and has made it easier for us to do the same. What we are doing now is getting in touch with our true Self. This Self is, of course, just as Its Creator. It is powerful and perfect. It is Love. It is everything our illusory self is not.

This Voice for God, the Holy Spirit, remembers all and whispers the truth into our Hearts all the time. When we are ready, when we feel strong enough to look past our fear, we begin to hear it. It takes courage and determination to do this. For me, it has been helpful to practice what I hear until my memory becomes stronger than my illusion.

So when I am in pain I remind myself that this cannot be true. I cannot be in pain because I am in God and God is not in pain. When I feel weak, I remind myself that this cannot be true. It must be part of the illusion, because I am in God and God is not weak.

This seems to be taking a long time, and sometimes I back off from it because the part of my mind that is still afraid starts to look at the illusion for proof that I am weak and sick and fearful. It always finds plenty of proof because it put it there. But I have also formed the habit, through my practice of listening to the Holy Spirit, and so I can now pull my attention away from the false proof and allow my mind to be soothed and comforted and healed.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-24-12

6-24-12
6 Never forget that the Holy Spirit does not depend on your words. He understands the requests of your heart, and answers them. Does this mean that, while attack remains attractive to you, He will respond with evil? Hardly! For God has given Him the power to translate your prayers of the heart into His language. He understands that an attack is a call for help. And He responds with help accordingly. God would be cruel if He let your words replace His Own. A loving father does not let his child harm himself, or choose his own destruction. He may ask for injury, but his father will protect him still. And how much more than this does your Father love His Son?

Jesus assures us that the Holy Spirit does not respond to the desire for attack. He understands that this desire is actually a call for help. Beneath the desire for attack is the true desire of our Heart, which is to know God. The desire to attack is simply a response to the guilt and fear that comes from our confusion about who we are.

There is a person in my life I have judged, and if anything, my strongest wish was for him not to be in my awareness at all. I wanted him to be out of my life, to not even show up on my radar, not even as a memory. I have thought he was contemptible and maybe even evil. I felt he was ruining the life of an innocent young woman and I felt helpless to do anything about it, and helpless to see it any other way. And I felt guilty for my thoughts.

Our thoughts are prayers so I was praying that this person be attacked and to be attacked in such a profound way that he didn’t exist and had never existed, at least in the sphere of my awareness. Definitely an attack prayer, right? So did the Holy Spirit answer my prayer? Of course not. He saw that what I really wanted was help.

I just wanted to be happy again, and at peace. In my confusion I thought that I had the answer to my unhappiness but of course I didn’t. Obliterating the perceived cause of my lack of peace was not the answer because he was not the cause. The Holy Spirit answered my confused call for help by giving me clarity.

It took a lot longer than usual for me to accept His answer because this man triggered some unacknowledged and long held beliefs, and forgiving this situation would mean letting down my guard against those beliefs. But I continued to do my part by asking for help and knowing that I would get it when I was ready for it.

So much of the real work and the real healing happens below my conscious awareness. I don’t even know it’s happening much less how it is happening. Evidently enough healing had taken place for the next step. I had been asked to be someplace where he was going to be and I said yes. That was not a planned response. I didn’t think, “OK, its time to do this.” Later I gave myself that story, but in the yes moment, I just opened my mouth and the words came out.

As the time approached for this meeting, I became nervous and had many ego objections going through my mind. I felt myself becoming resentful and feeling victimized. I gave my mind to the Holy Spirit and asked Him to give me His help. My next thought a prayer. I asked that God show me how He wants me to love these children of his. I didn’t ask why I should love them, or if they deserved my love. The ego wanted to talk about throwing pearls before swine, but I went back to the prayer the Holy Spirit had given me and asked how I was to love them.

There was all this background noise in my head about not wanting to do this and being uncomfortable. There were judgment thoughts tumbling all over the place, but I just kept moving forward like they weren’t there and soon we were having a conversation and I noticed that I didn’t plan a single thing I said, and that when I looked in his eyes I didn’t see the evil man I expected. In fact I saw a vulnerability that was completely unexpected.

I know when I left that man did not feel judged by me, and I think that is how God wanted me to love his child. I also saw how my ego mind asked for attack and the Holy Spirit reinterpreted my prayer as a call for help, and answered it. I had to wait for the answer until I wanted it. The ego was still dead set on attack as the only defense, but the ego is just a small voice in my mind. I turned my attention from that noisy little voice to the part of my mind that wants nothing as much as it wants God. As soon as I did that, the Holy Spirit’s answer was there waiting for me. 

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-23-12

6-23-12
5 Who assumes a power that he does not possess is deceiving himself. Yet to accept the power given him by God is but to acknowledge his Creator and accept His gifts. And His gifts have no limit. To ask the Holy Spirit to decide for you is simply to accept your true inheritance. Does this mean that you cannot say anything without consulting Him? No, indeed! That would hardly be practical, and it is the practical with which this course is most concerned. If you have made it a habit to ask for help when and where you can, you can be confident that wisdom will be given you when you need it. Prepare for this each morning, remember God when you can throughout the day, ask the Holy Spirit’s help when it is feasible to do so, and thank Him for His guidance at night. And your confidence will be well founded indeed.

This paragraph is a real treasure. First Jesus talks to us about the difference between the ego’s “gifts” and the true gifts of our Creator. The ego gave us the gift of belief in an unreliable power. We spend all of our life trying to learn to gain enough information, and experience using that information, that we can finally make good decisions.

Because the ego gave us the belief that we have power, we always think we will succeed, and often fool ourselves into believing we did succeed. If we become suspicious of the outcome, we quickly find someone to blame for it, so that we can bolster the belief we actually know something, that information is knowledge and manipulation of that information is wisdom.

All along we have true power at our disposal. God created us like Himself and nothing about our creation has changed, so we have the power of God. In order to use this power, we must acknowledge it, and we cannot acknowledge true power if we are holding onto the belief in its substitute.

The way to regain the use of the power that is in us, is to turn from the made up power of the ego, and ask the Holy Spirit to decide for us. This gives us access to knowledge and true power. It is ours and has always been ours, but we cut off access to it when we turned our back on it in favor of something else. The Holy Spirit is the memory of that power and knowledge, and our way back to it.

Do I have to ask the Holy Spirit every single time I make even the smallest decision for this plan to work? Jesus says no, that this would not be practical. Here is the way I have done it. At first I learned to notice when I was making decisions and I learned to realize that there were times when I really didn’t want to turn those decisions over to the Holy Spirit.

An example was when my son was sick. I thought I knew what should happen, even what I should pray for. I hated the thought of surrendering the whole thing. I was afraid to let go of my yearning for him to be well. Yeah, I know, that was pretty crazy. As if I could know better than God, what my son needed. As if God would ever want anything less than absolute joy for his child.

But that was the ego’s belief that it has knowledge and power. I gave it that belief and now I was now experiencing the consequences. The gift I found within this experience was that I now had the opportunity to see that it was an insane decision, and so choose differently. I chose differently through acknowledging the error by asking Holy Spirit to choose for me. I would never have gotten to that choice if I had not been willing to look at how much I didn’t want to do it.

Once I understood the mechanism the ego uses, and my reluctance to let go of my false power, it was just a matter of vigilance. I paid close attention to my thoughts and my choices. I gave all the willingness I had to allow my mind to be changed. It was all about practice and, honestly, it felt like work. A lot of work. But that was because I did not entirely want the change and so I was conflicted, which is always a painful state to be in.

But the work did pay off and I began to truly change my mind about the gifts I wanted to accept. I learned through contrast that the ego gives false gifts, and that God gives truly. I learned that I wanted the Holy Spirit to decide for me, as I began to realize that I lost nothing when I gave up the ego belief in personal decision-making. It had no value, and therefore its absence was not a sacrifice. The conflict began to fall away and the process became easier, and even joyful.

The result of this is that there is a true desire in my Heart for Holy Spirit to choose for me and so I don’t have to notice every little thing. The Holy Spirit answers the prayer of my Heart, and my Heart wants the gifts of God. My vigilance now is only to protect this desire. The ego self does not give up so easily and is always offering me its gifts.

This is why I begin and end my day in gratitude for God’s Love. It is why I think of God often during the day, and ask for healing often. This is the way I protect my desire. Evidently, I will have to always do this while I am living an experience of separation. It is a small thing, though, for the peace it has brought me.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-22-12

6-22-12
4 Here again is the paradox often referred to in the course. To say, “Of myself I can do nothing” is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. As God created you, you have all power. The image you made of yourself has none. The Holy Spirit knows the truth about you. The image you made does not. Yet, despite its obvious and complete ignorance, this image assumes it knows all things because you have given that belief to it. Such is your teaching, and teaching of the world that was made to uphold it. But the Teacher Who knows the truth has not forgotten it. His decisions bring benefit to all, being wholly devoid of attack. And therefore incapable of arousing guilt.

I gave the self the belief that it knows, and now I have to let that misconception go. It is a stubborn idea and in spite of accumulated evidence that proves it wrong, the ego continues to insist it knows something. Even though I have accepted that this is an error, I see proof the belief remains fixed in the mind as I notice the idle thoughts that chatter away. I see it in the thoughtless automatic responses I make on a regular basis.

When I notice that I still believe the ego has power and knowledge I remind myself of the truth. Of my self I can do nothing. As I let go of the idea of self, I gain the memory of my true Self, and with it the power of that Self. The way I let go of self is to turn to the Holy Spirit often during the day. I ask Him for the answer because He has not forgotten the truth.

This is the reason I will make no decisions on my own. I have no reason to trust such a decision. Because I believe I am separate from everyone and everything else, I will always make decisions based on what will benefit me alone. This is an attack on everything else and will always arouse guilt.

I do not acknowledge where the guilt came from because that will create a paradox I cannot afford to look at if I am to maintain the belief in this separated self I am so attached to. So I make up stories to explain the guilt, always placing the source of it on someone or something I see as outside me. This keeps me safely deluded and protects the idea of separation. But it also creates more guilt and keeps me in fear.

My carefully constructed plan for self-delusion may be insane, but it has been effective for eons of time. Because I designed the whole plan myself and put it into place through the creative power of my mind for the purpose of keeping the ego in place, I cannot undo it from within the system. I need outside help. I need to be reminded of the truth, to be gently led to reality. This is the purpose of the Holy Spirit within my mind.

I think of the Holy Spirit as the safeguard, placed within my mind to be sure that I would not be forever lost in the confusion of the game. When the Holy Spirit begins to sense an awakening desire to return to God, He responds to that desire by quickening my memory. He does this at the perfect pace, and in just the way that will be helpful and not frightening.

I am not in charge of my awakening. I gladly surrender my mind to the One Who knows. There will be hundreds of little decisions to be made today. I would make none of them on my own. Holy Spirit, again today, I ask that You choose for me.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-21-12

6-21-12
3 There is another advantage,-and a very important one,-in referring decisions to the Holy Spirit with increasing frequency. Perhaps you have not thought of this aspect, but its centrality is obvious. To follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance is to let yourself be absolved of guilt. It is the essence of the Atonement. It is the core of the curriculum. The imagined usurping of functions not your own is the basis of fear. The whole world you see reflects the illusion that you have done so, making fear inevitable. To return the function to the One to Whom it belongs is thus the escape from fear. And it is this that lets the memory of love return to you. Do not, then, think that following the Holy Spirit’s guidance is necessary merely because of your own inadequacies. It is the way out of hell for you.

This is a very important paragraph for me.  I had not thought of following Holy Spirit as a way to avoid fear. I know that A Course in Miracles is a sure and certain path out of fear, and I have accepted that I want to let go of the idea of making decisions on my own and making plans. I have even realized that I feel much more peaceful and happy when I ask for guidance in all things, big and small. But I never considered why this is so.

When I make plans and make decisions on my own, I am usurping functions that are not mine, and this causes anxiety. Now that I think about it I realize that fear would be an inevitable result of doing so. When I am at work and doing what I know how to do, I feel confident and enjoy my job. Sometimes I get stuck in a situation that is unfamiliar to me and there is no one to consult. This is very uncomfortable and I feel anxious and concerned that I made a mistake. This is natural and entirely expected. If I don’t know enough about the problem, how can I be confident in my answer to it?

If there is anything I have come to fully accept as I have studied A Course in Miracles, it is that I don’t know very much. I am in a self-imposed state of amnesia. I don’t remember being created. I don’t remember my Creator. I don’t remember anything that happened before I started this life, nor do I remember any other life I am living. I don’t even remember the purpose of this life, the whys of all the relationships and circumstances that are my lessons. It seems that with the passing of time I can figure some of it out, but I don’t really know.

Why on earth would I think that I could know enough to make decisions on my own? What is there in my memory that would make this a good idea? My experience has been that as I let go of what I think should happen, and accept that there is One Who is planning this life and that He wants only my good, my life becomes more peaceful. I am more relaxed and happier. Things go so much more smoothly, and without much effort on my part.

The more often I step back and let Him lead the way, the easier this becomes. I am learning to recognize His Voice above the chatter of the ego mind. I am no longer reluctant (or seldom am reluctant) to follow His guidance, even when I absolutely do not understand it or want to go in that direction. He has taught me to trust Him.

Jesus says that as I allow myself to be led, I let go of fear and that allows the memory of love to return. This too is my experience. I have been given a taste of this love and it is worth all of my sad little treasures. I will gladly give up the right to decide what I will do now, where I will go, how I will live. All of that is meaningless next to that memory of love. I will gladly give up deciding what should be said and to whom.

Holy Spirit, please, decide for me, today and every day. Thank you.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-20-12

6-20-12
2 Which is for which? Who would profit more from prayers alone? Who needs but a smile, being as yet unready for more? No one should attempt to answer these questions alone. Surely no teacher of God has come this far without realizing that. The curriculum is highly individualized, and all aspects are under the Holy Spirit’s particular care and guidance. Ask and He will answer. The responsibility is His, and He alone is fit to assume it. To do so is His function. To refer the questions to Him is yours. Would you want to be responsible for decisions about which you understand so little. Be glad you have a Teacher Who cannot make a mistake. His answers are always right. Would you say that of yours?

Jesus could not be any clearer. It is not my job to decide what to say or do for anyone. I don’t have any way of knowing what a person needs. My responsibility is to ask the Holy Spirit what I am to do, what I am to say. It is His responsibility to give me direction. From time to time I think I know the answer on my own, or more likely, I am attached to an answer and want it to be right. This never works out.

I always regret taking this responsibility. The ego is never interested in setting its own separate interests aside. It doesn’t believe in unity of purpose because it doesn’t believe in unity. Its only goal is separation so it will always see separate interests, and so its answer will not be foster oneness, but separation. But, oh, how it argues for its answer, insisting that, this time, the answer is obvious. It especially hates silence, so when I am not directed to respond, the ego is very uncomfortable and brings out its most clever responses to tempt me.

It is not hard to get an answer from the Holy Spirit because He wants you to have it. I thought for the longest time that I couldn’t find the key to that secret. I accepted that He was answering me, but I couldn’t figure out how to hear Him. I knew it was possible because I knew so many people with Pathways of Light that heard the Voice all the time and took it for granted everyone could hear it.

It was very frustrating and upsetting to me. The ego insisted that I wasn’t worthy and at the same time, that I was guilty for not being able to hear the Voice for God. But I trusted the Voice was there and, in spite of my doubts and fears, I kept trying.

The Holy Spirit brought me exactly what I needed as I became willing to accept it. The Holy Spirit will meet us exactly where we are, wherever that might be. One morning as I tried once again to become meditative and to hear that small quiet Voice in my mind, and once again heard nothing, I just sat and cried and cried. I felt desolate and alone and so afraid that I alone would never know God’s Will for me.

I had a lovely crystal pendulum. I didn’t know much about pendulums, but I had seen someone do remarkable things with one so I had been I had been playing with it from time to time, and found it responsive. When I finally stopped crying, I reached for the pendulum. I asked a question or two, then without thinking about it, I said, “God, I love You.” The pendulum began to swing in a large emphatic circle. I knew in my heart that it was God saying He loved me, too. I cried again, more than ever, but in happiness. I could hear the Holy Spirit, and God did love me!

I tried using the pendulum again for that purpose but it didn’t work for me. The Holy Spirit didn’t want our communication to be limited in that way. So I asked for more help and that very day I got a call from a man who said his name was DavidPaul Doyle and that he and his wife, Candace, had written a book, The Journey That Never Was, about hearing the Holy Spirit. He asked if I would like to have a copy.

Their book was instrumental in helping me to gain confidence in myself and their matter of fact acceptance of that Voice and their trust that everyone could easily hear it, helped bolster my confidence as well. I think I identified with DavidPaul because, like me, he struggled with it, but he did succeed and so I took that to be a message from Holy Spirit to take heart, that it would be ok.

I found that Voice in me through writing. I would ask questions and then begin to write and the answers I got did not come from anything I knew or would have said. Writing was a very helpful tool for me because my very active ego thinking mind would not be still long enough for me to get an answer if I just sat there waiting for it. It would wander off in the middle of a thought. Writing helped me to hold my focus. The more I did this the better I became at listening, and at being able to differentiate between the ego and Holy Spirit.

I still use this method when I am having trouble accepting an answer and want to get the ego out of the way. I still ask Holy Spirit to guide my words when I do my writing for my posts and when I write a book. But now I also ask for His guidance when speaking to others, and often during the day for whatever decisions I make, even the little ones that seem unimportant.

Regina said one time that there are only two voices so I am always either asking the ego or Holy Spirit. That makes perfect sense and I want to get into the habit of calling on only that One real Voice. I want to learn to step aside from the ego and allow my entire life to be lived by God, not by ego.

Looking back on the whole process I see that I don’t have to learn to hear His Voice, I just need to want that Voice more than I want to hear the ego. I must trust that His Voice wants to be heard and so it is possible. Then it’s just a matter of practice as I become more proficient at doing so.

It got easier as I let go of the idea I had to be careful or I would listen to the wrong voice, that I would make a mistake, that I would become confused. I just ask for guidance and expect it. If I get it wrong sometimes, that’s ok. I got it wrong most of my life prior to this so that’s nothing new. ~smile~  I have built more perfect trust as I practiced and now I simply expect His answer and so I receive it.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 6-19-12

6-19-12
29. AS FOR THE REST…
1 This manual is not intended to answer all questions that both teacher and pupil may raise. In fact, it covers only a few of the more obvious ones, in terms of a brief summary of some of the major concepts in the text and workbook. It is not a substitute for either, but merely a supplement. While it is called a manual for teachers, it must be remembered that only time divides teacher and pupil, so that the difference is temporary by definition. In some cases, it may be helpful for the pupil to read the manual first. Others might do better to begin with the workbook. Still others may need to start at the more abstract level of the text.

When students new to the Course come to me, they inevitably ask where to start. Back in the old days, when I thought I knew something, (not really that long ago, truth be told) I would tell them. What I told them, of course, was what I was guided to do, and what has my guidance to do with them? We each have the Holy Spirit within us to be our guide and no one needs someone else to do that. We each have a specific path to follow and only the Holy Spirit knows what that is.

When I started the Course, luckily, I didn’t have anyone to advice me. I picked up the book and started at the beginning like any good little Virgo would. And that was absolutely perfect for me. I was completely enthralled, and couldn’t have put it down if I wanted to, at least until I got to the part where I didn’t understand anything I was reading, but that was ok, too. At this point there was nowhere to go but to the lessons, and that was perfect, too.

I had a lot more trouble with the lessons. I redid the first two sections over and over again because I would come to my line of resistance. I didn’t see it like that at the time. The ego said I was lazy, I didn’t want it bad enough, I shouldn’t be doing it, I couldn’t do it, I should be ashamed. I believed it all, and would put the book down in guilt and fear, but I could not undo what I already knew, and so would pick it up again. I eventually pushed that line of resistance back further and further, but still did not do the lessons all the way through for a very long time.

It wasn’t until I did get through the lessons that everything began to change and so I highly recommend doing them, but I no longer presume the Holy Spirit’s role and tell anyone how or when. I also no longer look back on my journey and think that there was anything wrong about the way I did it, or even my timing. It was obviously perfect for me, and while I can see from the perspective of time the how and why of a lot of it, that doesn’t matter either. However, I have noticed that it can be helpful to others who are faltering to share my experience of stumbling through it, not to mention it keeps me humble. ~smile~

What helped me to finally get through the lessons was finding Pathways of Light. They had a forum at the time that allowed the opportunity to do the lessons with others and to share our experience. I was so happy to have someone to share this journey that I never wanted to get behind, so I was motivated to stay on course. Another thing I learned through Pathways was that anyone can communicate with the Holy Spirit. So I asked the Holy Spirit to help me go through the lessons again with His help, and I began to journal as I went. Again, everything changed.

Listening to the Holy Spirit, learning to trust that Voice, has helped me to reach the point where I can say with certainty and humility that I am a teacher of God. I am an imperfect teacher, but then, aren’t we all. I also understand and completely accept that this does not make me special. We are all teachers, and eventually we all become teachers of God. It is just a matter of time, and time doesn’t really exist. One person seems to be there while another seems to still be in resistance, and the important word in this sentence is “seems.” The difference is temporary, and as unreal as time itself.

6-20-12
2 Which is for which? Who would profit more from prayers alone? Who needs but a smile, being as yet unready for more? No one should attempt to answer these questions alone. Surely no teacher of God has come this far without realizing that. The curriculum is highly individualized, and all aspects are under the Holy Spirit’s particular care and guidance. Ask and He will answer. The responsibility is His, and He alone is fit to assume it. To do so is His function. To refer the questions to Him is yours. Would you want to be responsible for decisions about which you understand so little. Be glad you have a Teacher Who cannot make a mistake. His answers are always right. Would you say that of yours?

Jesus could not be any clearer. It is not my job to decide what to say or do for anyone. I don’t have any way of knowing what a person needs. My responsibility is to ask the Holy Spirit what I am to do, what I am to say. It is His responsibility to give me direction. From time to time I think I know the answer on my own, or more likely, I am attached to an answer and want it to be right. This never works out.

I always regret taking this responsibility. The ego is never interested in setting its own separate interests aside. It doesn’t believe in unity of purpose because it doesn’t believe in unity. Its only goal is separation so it will always see separate interests, and so its answer will not be foster oneness, but separation. But, oh, how it argues for its answer, insisting that, this time, the answer is obvious. It especially hates silence, so when I am not directed to respond, the ego is very uncomfortable and brings out its most clever responses to tempt me.

It is not hard to get an answer from the Holy Spirit because He wants you to have it. I thought for the longest time that I couldn’t find the key to that secret. I accepted that He was answering me, but I couldn’t figure out how to hear Him. I knew it was possible because I knew so many people with Pathways of Light that heard the Voice all the time and took it for granted everyone could hear it.

It was very frustrating and upsetting to me. The ego insisted that I wasn’t worthy and at the same time, that I was guilty for not being able to hear the Voice for God. But I trusted the Voice was there and, in spite of my doubts and fears, I kept trying.

The Holy Spirit brought me exactly what I needed as I became willing to accept it. The Holy Spirit will meet us exactly where we are, wherever that might be. One morning as I tried once again to become meditative and to hear that small quiet Voice in my mind, and once again heard nothing, I just sat and cried and cried. I felt desolate and alone and so afraid that I alone would never know God’s Will for me.

I had a lovely crystal pendulum. I didn’t know much about pendulums, but I had seen someone do remarkable things with one so I had been I had been playing with it from time to time, and found it responsive. When I finally stopped crying, I reached for the pendulum. I asked a question or two, then without thinking about it, I said, “God, I love You.” The pendulum began to swing in a large emphatic circle. I knew in my heart that it was God saying He loved me, too. I cried again, more than ever, but in happiness. I could hear the Holy Spirit, and God did love me!

I tried using the pendulum again for that purpose but it didn’t work for me. The Holy Spirit didn’t want our communication to be limited in that way. So I asked for more help and that very day I got a call from a man who said his name was DavidPaul Doyle and that he and his wife, Candace, had written a book, The Journey That Never Was, about hearing the Holy Spirit. He asked if I would like to have a copy.

Their book was instrumental in helping me to gain confidence in myself and their matter of fact acceptance of that Voice and their trust that everyone could easily hear it, helped bolster my confidence as well. I think I identified with DavidPaul because, like me, he struggled with it, but he did succeed and so I took that to be a message from Holy Spirit to take heart, that it would be ok.

I found that Voice in me through writing. I would ask questions and then begin to write and the answers I got did not come from anything I knew or would have said. Writing was a very helpful tool for me because my very active ego thinking mind would not be still long enough for me to get an answer if I just sat there waiting for it. It would wander off in the middle of a thought. Writing helped me to hold my focus. The more I did this the better I became at listening, and at being able to differentiate between the ego and Holy Spirit.

I still use this method when I am having trouble accepting an answer and want to get the ego out of the way. I still ask Holy Spirit to guide my words when I do my writing for my posts and when I write a book. But now I also ask for His guidance when speaking to others, and often during the day for whatever decisions I make, even the little ones that seem unimportant.

Regina said one time that there are only two voices so I am always either asking the ego or Holy Spirit. That makes perfect sense and I want to get into the habit of calling on only that One real Voice. I want to learn to step aside from the ego and allow my entire life to be lived by God, not by ego.

Looking back on the whole process I see that I don’t have to learn to hear His Voice, I just need to want that Voice more than I want to hear the ego. I must trust that His Voice wants to be heard and so it is possible. Then it’s just a matter of practice as I become more proficient at doing so.

It got easier as I let go of the idea I had to be careful or I would listen to the wrong voice, that I would make a mistake, that I would become confused. I just ask for guidance and expect it. If I get it wrong sometimes, that’s ok. I got it wrong most of my life prior to this so that’s nothing new. ~smile~  I have built more perfect trust as I practiced and now I simply expect His answer and so I receive it.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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