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October - December, 2009

Finding the Gift in Illness

Rev. Therese Anne Ward

It happened that for about three months I had noticed that my bowel evacuation was gradually getting smaller and smaller, along with lots of gurgling in my belly. So off I went to the doctors to have my first colonoscopy. After the procedure the doctor met with me and my two daughters and explained that there was a tumor blocking the colon and it would have to be surgically removed and the colon re-sectioned and possibly a temporary colostomy while the re-sectioning healed.

Having arrived at age sixty-seven without ever having any surgery, I was naturally shocked and full of anxiety about the whole process. An appointment to see a surgeon was set up for me before we left the colon-screening center. Things were moving fast.

Linda, a lifelong friend of mine, is a retired nurse practitioner, so I asked her to come with us to the surgeon. I felt more comfortable with her along because of her training; I thought her ears could catch what I missed and explain what I didn’t know. I was apprehensive, and did not know what to expect. Except for giving births, the last of which was forty-three years ago, I had not been one to seek out doctors.

I prayed as always, in the quiet, turning it all over to Holy Spirit, affirming Spirit’s guidance through every step.

I liked the surgeon almost immediately as she entered the room. We had never met before. In fact, I had never heard of her. There was an aura of peacefulness about her. She was direct, unhurried and answered every one of my two pages of written questions, plus the ones my daughters and Linda had asked. I could not have been made more at ease.

Before we left the room, my fears were gone. I can only say the Holy Spirit was certainly working in and through her too.

Well, the surgery went off without a hitch. One week in the hospital, every day 100% improvement from the previous day! I played Jonathan Goldman’s CD’s: “Holy Harmony” which is the YHSVH chant (Yod Heh Shin Van Heh) the name for Jesus spelled in Hebrew, and “Ultimate OM.” Never once did I desire to turn on the TV.

I felt I was being palpably held in the vibration of Holy Spirit.

After the seven days, I was sent home to recooperate for six weeks. One of my sisters took two weeks of her vacation time to stay with me, since I was now living alone, being only five months into widowhood. Another sister came and helped with my care and did yard work. Family and friends and untold hundreds of others in prayer circles, supported me with love, care and prayers.

I was experiencing how thoughts make their effects in form; and the thoughts I was holding were ones I was getting with Holy Spirit. I noticed I was changing, getting more peaceful, being kinder, definitely much more appreciative of each person with whom I came in contact. And life, life is more precious in the NOW of living.

Just today I was discharged from Home Health nurse visits, after only fifteen days; three weeks ahead of schedule.

This past week I have revisited on DVD, the movies “What The (Bleep) Do We Know” and “Down The Rabbit Hole” which have been very good reminders of how thought is creative — infinite possibilities — and all is One and One is many.

There is one more surgery scheduled for me to complete this whole process. I can only say that this whole experience daily being turned over to the Holy Spirit, is indeed healing my thoughts which seems to be healing my body and making me shine.

I am reminded in ACIM, “I am not a body I am free, I am still as God created me”

“All healing is self healing” and “We are never healed alone.”

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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