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October-December, 2014

Forgiveness Offers Everything I Want

by Rev. Peggy Rivera, O.M.C.

Last year my husband decided that we needed to bring his parents to our area to live so we can look after them. I was happy to do so because I believe strongly in caring for our parents as they get older. However I was a little apprehensive because I have had a rocky relationship with them.

At one point we had gone for twenty years without speaking at all. One day we made up. It happened in the twinkling of an eye. She apologized and then I apologized. Then it was done; we were good again after all those years.

Today I remind myself every quarter hour of the gifts I receive for forgiveness. “Morning and evening do we gladly give a quarter of an hour to the search in which the end of hell is guaranteed.” (W-pI.122.10:1)

“Open your eyes today and look upon a happy world of safety and of peace. Forgiveness is the means by which it comes to take the place of hell.” (W-pI.122.8:1-2)

“Forgiveness offers everything I want.

Today I have received the gifts of God” (W-pI.122.14:3-5)

The gifts of God I have received are so beautiful, I see my mother and father-in- law in a different way than I ever could have before studying the Course. I feel so joyful when I am visiting them, taking them their lunch everyday. My old ego thoughts were more judgmental; I felt victimized and unacceptable. I thought they would never think I was good enough for their son. I felt like I was compared to his previous girlfriends. My mother-in-law once told me that she didn’t know how I got her son because he preferred blondes. Boy that really got me because at the time I was a brunette and my younger sister was a blonde who I had felt compared to all of my life.

Looking back now I can see how my ego kept me in turmoil with my perceptions of unworthiness. Regardless of what they may have been thinking, it was my projections that kept me unhappy. I realize that when I give fuel to those thoughts, I create a prison for myself and others. How can I have happy, loving relationships if I am projecting all my guilt and self loathing onto others? I am going through a wonderful healing process now.

I enjoy being with my husband’s parents and they are very loving towards me. It really amazes me how transformed my life has become. There isn’t anything that I need to face alone anymore. Holy Spirit is there guiding me every step of the way and I feel the Love of God all around and through me. “Forgiveness offers everything you want.”

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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