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April-June, 2015

Where Am I Putting My Faith?

by Rev. Rosemarie Tropf, O.M.C.

I am currently studying the Pathways of Light Ministers Courses. I was working on course 901: Introduction to Miracles Practice at the time I participated in a call with Robert and Mary and other pathways ministers. Mary suggested we write down the following quote, and ask Holy Spirit how we can apply this in our lives:

“Put all your faith in the Love of God within you; eternal, changeless and forever unfailing. This is the answer to whatever confronts you today.” (W-p1.4:3-4)

I sat in silence asking Holy Spirit what this meant for me.

What was confronting me that day was chronic pain from fibromyalgia and arthritis. Some days are good and some are not so very good.

The answer I received was that my physical pain was really a cover for worry and anxiety, which has deep roots in my thought system, not in my body. Those roots are like tendrils and they wind through my day in my body parts like heavy energy beams. This energy is magnetic energy attracting particles in my mind forming a picture at a cellular level that I call physical pain to explain my emotional state to myself.

This label called, “pain” also justifies to me my avoidance of others because I do not spend much time with other people anymore. I tell myself this is due to physical pain but Holy Spirit had me see that’s not putting my “faith in the love of God within me” as it says above in our meditation. Staying away from others while feeling pain is an attack on others but Holy Spirit cautioned me here, saying tread gently, be gentle with yourself… no judgments. Focus not on judgment but on the love of God within me as this meditation says.

I realized that rather than focus on the love of God within me I have been focusing on my solutions. My solutions are physical remedies such as vitamins, acupuncture, chiropractic, naturopaths, doctors and dozens of books on healing with dozens more solutions. All these remedies lead to more and more solutions. These solutions lead to other problems such as when some vitamins give me acid stomach then I need a remedy for that. My solutions also lead to problems such as the cost of the natural doctors leading to bills that cause more anxiety.

Holy Spirit had me see that this is all mental machinery. This mental machinery is composed of my own thoughts and it is a self-perpetuating machine. My thoughts glide and slide through the gears of my machine from problem to solution to another problem and another solution and this thought machinery has never resolved the issue of physical pain one iota.

I had a visual of this mental machinery in another way. I saw how my mind is building a wall using that machinery to lift thoughts that are like flat stones. One problem is a stone and I lay that stone in the wall, then my machinery lifts another solution and lays another stone beside it, then another problem is lifted onto another stone and soon the wall is looming higher and higher.

Now the wall needs to have those spaces between them filled in with anxieties, more thoughts lifting buckets of sand sized thoughts about physical pain and physical solutions or trying to figure out the cause of the physical pain or what pill caused what.

Then those spaces grow tendrils of related thoughts like feeling judged, judging others because I feel they are judging me about being in chronic pain and now I have a solid wall of thoughts the are as solid as rocks, but it is all made from this mental machinery that I operate. This wall blocks the light rays from the Love of God just like the darkest cloud before a storm would block the sun.

Holy Spirit says the answer today is the above meditation. Put all my faith in the Love of God within me. That Love is eternal, that Love is changeless, and forever unfailing. God’s Love is the answer for whatever confronts me today.

How could I possible compare my constantly changing solutions based on the anxiety spitting out from my perpetually grinding mental machinery.

My ego mind created the problems so how could my ego mind resolve them? As the course states the purpose of the ego is to “seek but do not find.” The only way to overcome the ego mind is living and thinking with all my faith in the Love of God that is within me. Yes, the Love of God is within me. 

This meditation changed my life. I have not gone back into that mental machinery since that day. My gratitude is immense. I feel blessed to have found these Pathways of Light courses. Thank you Robert and Mary. I am eternally grateful.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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