Realizing God's Will Is Oneness

Ask.  Listen.  Follow.  Trust.

I had such an interesting experience lately while facilitating a weekend group.  The first day, some women in the group were into silly giggling with each other.  I felt guided by Holy Spirit to ignore it and felt peaceful about ignoring it, while realizing at the same time that others members of the group might be disturbed by their behavior.  After the group session, some members did come to me and ask why I had not addressed silly behavior that had disturbed others.  Then, I started to wonder about the wisdom of the guidance, but told them that I had gone to Holy Spirit during group time and I just followed what I had received.

The next day, one of the gigglers and I had a wonder healing conversation about the happy circumstances in her current life.  She related to me that some encouragement I had given her almost two years earlier had been very helpful to her.  She remembered well the loving words I had previously shared with her and I really felt the love she was sharing with me on this morning.  I immediately felt that Holy Spirit’s guidance the previous day had been entirely correct.  Then during the morning session, another of the gigglers sought me out for sharing and we had quite a conversation of healing insights.  Again I felt that the beauty and value of following Holy Spirit’s guidance was shown to me.  If there had been public attention given to their behavior the previous day, I’m not sure these healing sharings would have happened. 

Then in the afternoon of the second day, a young man was eating during the meditation.  I was unaware of this until afterwards when members of the group mentioned it during the group sharing time.  Some members of the group had incorporated this distraction as part of their practice of seeing Christ in their brother.  Later, I had a long conversation with the “cruncher” during which many wonderful healing insights came about.  Again, I do not believe this would have occurred if there had been any negative attention given to his behavior during group time or after.  Again, I felt confidence in Holy Spirit’s guidance to just let go of all silly behavior as no big deal.

The next day, I learned that some members of the group had given a negative impression to others about events that had happened during group time.  When I heard this my ego kicked right in.  I felt attacked.  I felt guilt.  I defended myself.  I immediately questioned whether in any way I had been acting from fear while facilitating the group - fear of disapproval, fear of seeming unloving or harsh, or fear of confronting others.  I wondered if I really had been listening to the voice of Holy Spirit, or had it been filtered by unconscious fear.  I felt like a poor facilitator.  I felt like a poor listener or a mistaken listener.  When I arrived home, I talked about the weekend with my husband as if the ego drama was all quite real.  I overate on suggary treats.  I drank two glasses of wine, and then couldn’t sleep all night.  Ego had me on a guilt trip.

In my wakefulness, I spent time meditating.  I watched TV.  In the morning I took a nap.  Then in late morning, I determind to sit with Holy Spirit until the truth would be shown to me, and it was.  I learned that in all of my doing, the most important part was the practice of asking, listening and following.  And then trusting and taking responsibility for following the guidance.  I had not been trusting enough.  I became aware that following the guidance, an act of kindness of overlooking silliness, appeared to others as a flaw.  That awareness showed me everyone can be mistaken about the behavior of another.  We have absolutely no basis to judge the behavior of another.  Another’s behavior may not meet our expectations of what appears good. Ours may not match theirs.

The real question was trust.  The real question came to me as, can I follow Holy Spirit’s guidance confidently and joyfully even if others think it seems wrong?  After all, whose’s disapproval am I worried about?  When there is a question of disapproval its only my ego looking to other egos for approval - only the insanity of the ego thought system.  I learned the importance of trusting the guidance given to me.  Holy Spirit only asks me to ask, listen, follow and trust.  I learned to let go of need for this to appear good in the ego thought system.  I learned the importance of trusting and when I don’t, it is only my broken record of ego thoughts that plays over and over the need for approval.  Its all about my willingness to totally trust what I receive as right for me and everyone else as well.

The whole circumstance showed me a lesson in practicing willingness to follow my own inner guidance.  As I was tempted to question my intent, motivation, and the outcome all by ego standards, I was a failure.  After all, doesn’t following Holy Spirit guidance mean peace and love visibly present?  I learned its not always present to body eyes or to ego understanding.  I learned I must trust what I am given and be ready to accept that in the ego world, the guidance may appear clumsy or be misunderstood.  I learned that I must trust more that I need not know the big picture.  I cannot account for how Holy Spirit works in the world of illusion.

All I can do is practice following what I am given and follow it through as best I can at any particular moment with trust.  And later, if my actions are questioned, to calmly rest in knowing that I practiced following what I was given at the time.  And doing this even though I can’t totally understand it either.  Although in this case, I can understand but am aware that others may not.  This has to be good enough.  The healing is in my own mind.  That is the only place I need it.

Now I feel again the surety of trust.  I can trust Holy Spirit to show me the way for me to be.  I trust He will show others the way for them to be.  It is for others to listen to their guidance in the way they will.  I can only be responsible for listening for myself and following.  Any problems perceived in this are all of ego resistance, of the illusion of separate bodies and minds.  My sole responsibility is to accept the Atonement for myself - to acccept that it is only in my mind that I need healing.  It is my responsibility to let go of ego thought and see only wholeness with the help of Holy Spirit.

I forgive myself any mistakes in listening.  As Holy Spirit overlooks my mistakes of listening, I overlook any perceived mistakes of others.  Maybe they are listening perfectly well and it only appears as a flaw to my mind because I am looking with ego judgment.  I have no way to know, no basis to judge.  And so I accept that others have no basis to judge how well I am listening to Spirit.  We all must just trust that everyone is on their awakening journey with Holy Spirit just as they should be.  Its all perfect, everyone is already healed, already forgiven.  Incidents of ego are only of time and time is temporary madness.  I can let it go and return again to the serenity that comes from trusting Holy Spirit at an even deeper level, learning more consistency and constancy in trust.

There underneath the illusion of upset is perfect trust in the wisdom of Holy Spirit.  I trust His plan of awakening for me.  I see His wisdom in showing me the parts of my mind that need healing, as I am willing to open to them.  Then He simply heals them.  And so there is the beauty of peace I have turned to again.  There is no need to explain or justify my guidance.  There may be no way to do so.  It does not matter.  There is only the following of it, knowing that it is for healing in some way for the ego thought system.  I can be content with that.  What a fine lesson to learn.  What a fine way for it to be shown to me.  I have confidence in Holy Spirit to know best and to guide always for healing.  I can trust more now and be sure of its rightness for me.  More than this I leave to Holy Spirit.  My one function is to listen to His voice as best I can in the moment and trust.  I trust others to do the same.

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